Friday, June 05, 2009

Friday June 5

Well i have had a HUGE emotional nite. Lets see went to the gym last nite...did weights...all went well. Came home...mum was planning to come around and drop a few things off that i had left at their place. Anyway my mums hubby was in the car so i went over and waved and said hiya...anyway when their i had installed msn on their computer...and my email for msn is lesbian.princess anyway i accidently forgot to uninstall it. Anyway so he anyway had a huge issue with the word "lesbian" being on his computer and said "i dont care that your a lesbian but dont want you advertising it and dont want my kids seeing that" (lets understand this the kids are all adults) anyway i ended up walking off while he was still carrying on. But for me its the final straw...completely unsupportive and homophobic ways and im over it. For the last year or so i have contemplated changing my surname back to my dads name (when my mum married her current husband she changed my surname to his) anyway while i wanted to change it i didnt cos i didnt want to hurt mums feelings...but...im beyond it now...i want all connection to him gone...and i want dads surname. So this is something i will look into over the next week or so. So that is my drama of the week. Thats enuff for today...looking forward to the weekend...bring it on...enjoy all

2 comments:

nessonamission said...

Kaz, I'm an avid reader of your blog although I don't let on do I?
I first of all want to say I'm sorry that you are struggling through this with your step father. Difficult situation yes maybe for you mother but she needs to be the one supporting you through this. You are her daughter and she should be incredibly proud of your achievements.

You question over the surname - I can't tell you what's "right or wrong" but I can tell you that my mother "re-married" a couple of years back to a lovely man who I adore, and she took his name, but my adult brother decided when he turned 21 that there was no way he was going to have ties to our so called "biological father" and legally changed his name to my mum's maiden name. Unfortunately for me, I didn't want ties to my fathers name either and when I married a few years back took the new name, but am now divorced and now left with a name that doesn't even mean anything to me! - Luckily I'm getting re-married to a great person next year and I will take his name with pride but the point I'm trying to make is a name doesn't "tag" or mean anything unless you want it to. I say do what is right for you - not for anyone else.
Be the confident person that I see shining through in the other posts... Ness

Jody said...

Hey there my lil Kazzzzy Pooh,
For as long as I've known you, your relationship with your step father has been what it's been out of respect for your Mother.

I'm thinking that along with this "Journey" you have been on (weight loss wise) has not only been a weight loss for you, but also a awakening for you too. ie:you learning who you are, where you came from, changing destructive habits and gaining new healthy and exciting habits.

A couple of months of ago, you found online things about your Father, which renewed interest in your Dad. Putting back your pictures in your home for display of Father...

I think this confrontation with Step Father was only your "opening" to do something you've wanted to do for a long time.

You are who you are...a beautiful, intelligent woman...conquering so much new in your life. Don't let this thing with step father be a set back. Look at it, as just another stepping stone in conquering Kazz!! The major PITA in my life...lol.

And I agree with Ness, your mom needs to support her daughter and the decisions you need to make for yourself, but remember until you walk her shoes, try and be understanding of why she is who she is or why she does what she does.

Make your decisions because of your love and respect for your Father, NOT to spite Step Father...

I love you Karyn, and so proud of you for more reasons than the fact you are becoming a lean mean sex machine..hahahah!