Sunday, October 26, 2008


Last night after dinner...sat down and got in one of my "moods" i seem to get in these quite regularly on a friday or saturday nite (most weekends since ive started at the gym) altho i didnt get them last weekend...n i started wondering why its been happening since i started at the gym...i think before that i was miserable...i worked...slept then worked some my moods were obviously quite low but they were im out having some good when it hits me its prolly more obvious. I did start to wonder last nite if its the depression creeping back but i dont think its anything more then being lonely. Which is a huge thing for me to admit lol. Generally as a rule the fact i live alone doesnt bother quite content with it and use to it on a day to day basis...but i guess its more that ive hermitted myself for so long. I am getting out there meeting more people...but im still in a transition someways it would be quite easy to just revert back to my hermit ways...its the easy option...but its not the option i want. I wanna be going out on the weekends...i wanna meet someone....and i wanna have a good bunch fo friends to hang out with...a lot of the things that so many others take for granted. The good thing tho is when its happening im not wanting to go have takeaway etc as much...happened last nite and i ate my normal dinner didnt eat cant complain about that. Then of course i wake this morning feeling fine and everything back to normal.

My dietician wants me now tracking my exercise. I have a real sneaky suspicion when i go in next week shes gonna put the hard word on me going to the gym 4-5 times per week lol...dang it ! But it needs to be done i guess so fair that im feeling better on the treadmill its not as big a deal...i last about 30 minutes but the last 5 -10 minutes my soles burn which is a pain...i prolly really should be looking at doing classes...and doing them regularly like body pump...but in reality im a big chicken chit ! lol

Okies not much else going on...back to work (working on a sunday should be outlawed!)


Anonymous said...

Yeah! I reckon! I get shitty Saturday nights too! But it is generally because I look at the time and realize that my weekend is almost over!!

Jody said...

I get or have gotten in those moods too. Kinda sucky, the older I get I seem to be less that way and more content in myself, who I am etc.
I am not a doctor or educated in this area, Karyn, but I'm thinking (and correct me ladies if I'm wrong)but life has been different for you as of late. You are socializing more, which from what you are use to is actually a lot. You are watching your food intake, you are enthused with your exercising. You are out there meeting people...and wanting to meet that "special lady TODAY" Relax, it will happen when it happens and you need to quit putting the pressure on yourself. Don't look at what you don't have and look at what you've gained!!

One day at a time my dear Karyn. Patience and perseverance and it will all happen for you.

I'm glad you didn't fall back into bad habits tho, eating a good dinner is wonderful...(I use food as comfort and woulda pigged out) hahaha!! So I'm proud of you.

Sending you a hug...and hang in there!!

Tania said...

Kazz - is it possible that now that you're getting out and about more often, meeting new people, making new friends etc that the loneliness affects you more now that you're being more social? It's always been "the norm" to you in the past but not so much now, perhaps that's why you still have these moods - just my 2 cents worth and you're right - so many people do take the small things for granted!