So heres my question...if I want to be in a relationship...meet that snazzy person who knocks me off my feet why in the world when someone LOCAL messages me online and introduces themselves do i cut the conversation short? Im sitting here earlier reading a blog when a email pops in...check it out and its someone adding me to their facebook...i click on their name and see we have 2 mutual friends...grrlfest and my friend felicity...so i approve adding her as a friend....so she starts chatting to me...and what do i do? minute she says brb i close the facebook window down. Now im not really concerned but it does puzzle me why i do this...i was just saying in yesterdays post being single can be isolating...yet there we go smack bang someone approaches me....and i close out of it. Maybe i wanna wait till im happier with myself before going out and meeting more people...i dunno...and i know...you cant wait for stuff you gotta live your life today...perplexing...none the less

Was watching old episodes on L word last nite...and what really confuses me...is max...who is transgendering from female to male but is getting it on with a guy? Maybe i missed something (quite possible i am blonde in everyway except the hair colour!) but i thought she is lesbian? I asked ryan about it this morning...he had no freaking idea...fat lot of good my gay boi was !

Our christmas show is coming up soon...its being done as a james bond theme...i got asked yesterday am i going....my answer? nah thats not my scene...hmmm...okies so good food...music...dancing...friends is not my scene? wtf do i avoid chit like this....GOOD FOOD is not my scene???? okies you can smell that lie a mile away....a week ago im posting how ive been dancing around the house so obviously i have no issue with dancing...and i adore music...but we wont go there right now...and well...we of course like our friends...so why dont i wanna go? Apart from feeling like the fat one? Apart from the fact i havent figured out how to let go and just enjoy myself and worry the next day about whether i looked like a dork with my fat ass dancing lol Apart from the fact i will be wondering if everyones thinking why is the fat one here? Why do i feel i dont DESERVE to go out and enjoy myself...im fat not a murderer for goodness sake...ok will have to ponder this further.

Work was not too bad today....honestly i was dreading it...so often on saturdays we are busy as chit...but this afternoon we even had some wait time...and considering how busy and horrid its been the last few weeks it was more then welcome. Tomorrow i start at 7am again....yes 7am on a sunday i damn right rude ! but then come 3pm that week is done and dusted and i will finally get 2 days off...absolute blissful cannot wait.

oooooooooooooooooo and my new...i mean first sports bra arrived ! I had to buy it online at ezibuy cos apparantly if ur bigger then a size 18 or D cup...u wouldnt exercise so they dont sell them in the regular stores...luckily i managed to get one online. And then this week i am gonna go get fitted properly for some gym shoes...omg i will then have all the proper equipment for this gym thing lol i wont know myself.

Okies and on that note...its time to go cook some beef stirfry,...enjoy ur weekend all