Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Well i think i hurt my heel/instep more yesterday and not via the gym lol i was getting on the bus and the stoopid driver parked like half a metre from the curb and when i stepped up i think i overstretched the instep...so i have made a appointment with a physiotherapist for tuesday. The grrl from the gym told me yesterday they would prolly strap it and i prolly need some scans done on it which the physio can do.

Yesterday Livy asked where i get my motivation...so ill explain cos i think im getitng new readers who may not know my past.About 4 years ago i lost 23 kilos...went from 153 kilos to 130 kilos...had a girlfriend at the time all was great. But then we split up...i suffered depression and gained not just that weight but 40 kilos...till i reached 170.9 kilos. In the last year before i started ww when i was at my 170 kilos my life had really deteriated. I was falling over a lot...as if my balane was affected and had one bad fall where i tore ligaments in my ankle..i had exceessive fluid retention in my feet and calves, when catching a bus i always had to make sure i had my ticket before hand cos i didnt fit thru the section where you went to buy the ticket...when going to team meetings at work i couldnt fit into the chairs...had to sit on the very edge of em...which when u gotta sit there fro a hour is uncomfortable as crap...i was getting viruses every few weeks and last april/june i was off work for 7 weeks with bronchitis...i truly had no life....oh at the time i thought i was happy...had work and lived in a chat room when not at work...when i was sick...and work was taken from me the only thing i had was the chatroom...and i lived in it 24/7, my mum gets bad asthma/bronchitis so i couldnt be around her...and to be honest in the past year i had isolated myself...so it was me and the computer. But also having so much time on my hands suddenly left me to do lots of thinking...i started thinking about a lot...and i started to realise if i didnt do something soon i would be bound to the house and pretty much a invalid. So i got over the bronchitis and a few weeks later joined weight watchers. Its been a slow process not just the weight loss but the changing in my lifestyle. I had so many factors which made my life unhealthy...one clearly was a addiction to chat rooms which was only assisted by me work evenings...as i was able to be online when all the americans were. So a few months after i started at weight watchers the option of working evenings every week was taken from me when work changed the way our rosters were going to work...and suddenly i was on a rotating roster. It still meant some weeks i worked evenings but most weeks i worked days, which allowed me to be a lil normal. Have my evenings free and cook a nice dinner (was nice to get away from microwave meals LOL) and to ahve time in my evenings to watch tv. Now to most people watching tv is unhealthy too,,,,but it was removing me from chat rooms so i knew it was a good step for me. Then over the last 9 months lil bit by lil bit my lifestyle has changed. About 3 months ago i re-discoverred that i love reading...so im back to reading for half an hour or so before bed. (no more staying online till i can barely hold my eyes open) so as ive slowly seen my life change for the better...the better it gets the more im determined it wont go back to where it was. I have never before eaten healthy for 9 months running. Now i dunno about my motivation levels as i know lots on the ww forum more motivated then me...BUT anyone who knows me knows im stubborn with a captital S...and when i decide on something i dont usually change my mind (if jody reads this she will be laughing as she often tells me im the most stubborn person shes ever known) So gradually over the last 9 months ive started to get up earlier and take more advantage of the day. Initially when the gym suggested the 7am time slot for yesterdays orientation session i was like no no no...but later when i thought about it there was no reason not too...i was working till 8pm the nite before but i knew as long as i was in bed by 10.30pm id be fine - and i was. When i was with my ex Ang i weighed 130 kilos....when i started this journey 9 months ago i was 40 kilos away from it...seemed like forever away...now im only 15-16 kilos from being 130 kilos...its an awesome feeling to think how close to a certain level of normality i will be. But each week whether i lose weight or not i am getting closer....its really not just about weight for me altho thats a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee factor...its also about getting me back....and not getting to a point in my life when im old with regrets that i did not really live my life cos of my weight...so i dont want people to think im some superhero with huge motivation levels that i dug up or something LOL im not...im just a stubborn ass....and i refuse to give up...even if i have a bad week every now and then...i may stumble but i sure as hell refuse to fall over and stay over...and btw thank you for the comments i always LOVEEEEEEEEEE reading them...okies over n out all LOL


1 comment:

Livy said...

Ok.. that explains a little more.. so you are a chick right?? I just saw you said you had a girlfriend at the time... and I was not sure what you meant, whether you are a woman (which I presumed) and had a 'girl' friend as in lesbian, or girlfriend as in female friend! I am a dill I know! Thanks for sharing! Chatrooms are definately addictive, but I am so much more into blogging! Chatrooms get so boring after a while!!