Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Okies well i think this may to a degree be a lengthy post....so be warned...

Last night I got thinking, and was wondering to myself "what defines me"....i came to the conclusion that there are 3 prominant things...being a lesbian, being single and being overweight. And then i started to wonder how these all relate. You know ive read and watched dr phil and oprah and others saying whats the reasoning behind over eating...i always thought well hell its cos the food tastes good ! But im now starting to realise for me its not cos of that...being excessively overweight takes the question of "when will you settle down/marry/have a partner" etc out of the equation...when someone is single and weighs 170 kilos other people are not going to wonder if they have a partner its highly unlikely they do...and being single and excessively overweight and no one expecting you to have a partner in some ways makes it easy. i get comfortable...there isnt that expectation...or questioning (altho my parents questioning me on this pretty much stopped when i came out lol), it was funny the other day Michael was doing my 6 monthly review and i guess he can tell im happier and healthier and he said "have you met someone" then he kinda apologised and said...i just wonder cos when someone is with someone they get happier in all parts of their life. And i thought at the time wow thats the first time in a longggggg time anyways asked me that...and i guess to a degree when someone asks it in the past ive felt like a failure cos i am single. But starting today thats gonna change...im gonna embrace being single at the moment because that is NOT how its going to be forever. Right now is a great time for me to be focusing on me...my health...my weight loss...and slowly getting a social life back. But one of the goals of this year is to hopefully have gone out on a few dates by the end of the year. i think its important i do this not only cos a relationship is a part of living...but also cos i really need to get out and meet people and do more things then work, eat and sleep, which i am slowly starting to do. i think i went off on a quandry but its all part of the same deal. Anyway this week i will rejoin the pink sofa...its a online australian website for lesbians and bi women...

On to other things gained 200 grams :(

Also bought some britney spears perfume and new fiorelli wallet set with my wishlist points !

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