oooooo well exciting news ! i enrolled in uni part time...i am gonna do a arts degree in criminology and justice. And i have enrolled for my first unit...which is actually a introductory to university studies subject. I start on August 27 and im pretty excited now ive made the committment to do it. So over the next few weeks i need to go out and get the text books so im all ready,AND set up my damn printer ! Ive had my printer for like 18 months and never set it up...never even taken the print cartridges out of their packages lol...but this weekend ill have to get that organised (too much thinking for tonite)

Food wise i have been very good today. I made the lemon chicken recipe that had been on the weight watchers forum a week or two ago....so yummiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii it was really delicious....and i made enough to freeze....so ill prolly have the extra serving on sunday night. I have a lil bit of a sore throat today i think its prolly cos im overtired from the bus trip still ... hopefully by tomorrow it will be better

So cos i had a sore throat and was feeling tired i didnt go to the gym. But hopefully tomorrow i will feel fine and get out to the gym and try to do 12 kms on the cycle.

Well i think its time for some sleep...enjoy ur nite all !

Well im back home and OMG sooooooooo quiet in my house - i keep expecting a chatty lil child to walk in the room at any moment lol

I got home at 6am...my house was freezing...so i put the heater on and climbed into bed and slept till about 10am... woke still feeling incredibly tired....was tempted to bail out of my PT session but i went but had a bit of a dizzy spell at the end so didnt do the last exercise. I went to see my slim coach too...i put on 500 grams but she said its prolly cos the week before last i was barely eating. I also have to do "visualisation" with the box i had to buy i have to put things in it that are reflective of what i want...travel, employment, study, social life, health, clothes...and to focus on how i want to see myself. Which was interesting as ive been thinking about doing a degree thru open studies. My sister gave me a course book...so one of the things im going to do for the november intake is decide which course and enrol. Theres lots of things i want for my future i need to give some real thought to focussing seriously on a couple of these.

Tomorrow im planning to go to the gym after a early nite tonite. Planning to just do 30 minutes on the cycle.

Okies im off for some sleep...enjoy your nite all

PS : airlie - i would love to take you up on that offer of the clothes....when your in adelaide next email me on princesskaryn@optusnet.com.au or add me to your msn lesbian.princess@hotmail.com - we can meet up for lunch or something if you like? - ciao

Well my gawd last day in streaky already. Yesterday we went to the pub for lunch and then went for a driver around the bay. My sister has season 6 of the gilmore girls which i havent seen so we have been trying to watch the season before i go home...we have managed 10 episodes lol...theres still another 13 i think so im bringing it home with me plus a couple of books. Just this morning finished my latest book "the maria korp case" was very interesting to say the least. The next one im reading is called "my sisters keeper" and isnt a true crime book.

My new jeans are feeling looser and i noticed yesteday i can now do all the buttons up on my denim jacket...so hopefully i wont get a nasty shock when i weigh in tomorrow. But regardless it doesnt matter even if i have a gain (remember ive gone back to normal eating after barely eating so i may have a small gain.) wednesday is first day of the "kicking ass in last half of 2007" lol. My aim is to be under 125 kilos by christmas which is completely do able. So there is theoretically 23 weeks till christmas...and i want to lose about 14 kilos...so the aim is to lose 600 grams per week...which is not setting the task bar too high i dont think.

Okies off i go to enjoy this last day,,,,have a good tuesday all !

well hello there all :) i made it to streaky bay finally...where its very very cold altho the sun is out a bit today and was sitting outside reading a lil bit earlier. Ive spent most of my time playing pokemon on the nintendo (and the consensus is i suck at this game lol) and watching dora and reading to miss 3. Soon as i finish this post im off outside to play hide n seek which they have been asking me to play since yesterday lol. Last nite my sister and me sat down and watched 6 episodes of gilmore girls LOL and tomorrow we are taking Miss 3 to the pub for lunch they apparantly do nice chicken salads and stuff. Foodwise i have been very good..even coming over you stop at port augusta and its like midnight and cold and the place you stop at sells greasy fatty chips and hotdogs etc but i was very good and just had a ham, cheese and tomato sandwich. Cant believe i go back to work so soon...but im not bothered really its been a decent break (altho not being sick would have been nice) I get home wednesday and that is a busy busy day...when i get home at like 6.30am i will prolly nap for a bit...then i have to do my meal plan for the next week...head up to the shops and do my grocery shopping...then over to mums as her antivirus software is having some problem. Then in the afternoon at 3pm i have a session with my slim coach and then a PT session (and omg it hurts so much to lift my arms at the moment from the last session) and then 6.45pm i am going to see the tax agent...phew.

Oh and i did get my eyes tested and do need glasses for when im at the puter or reading..AND i have freckles on my pupils...what the????! My mum found that quite funny....i seriously got the sucky genes in this family lol.

OKies i best go...and tania....yes we do need to catch up soon...when i get back to work ill email you a few days i can make...okies of to play some hide n seek lol...enjoy your sunday all !

Well yanno its amazing what a health scare can do for you. You know when i got up to over 170 kilos...i heard and even wondered if id last till i turned 40 i was seriously a heart attack waiting to happen. And when i always have thought of weight loss ive thought thats the risk or diabetes, then to have the drama of last week...the pain...the being put in a ambulance...blood tests...morphine shots...drips....oxygen etc and the thought that my history of bad eating had put me in a situation where eating even low fat healthy food was putting me in such pain was a huge awakening. At first yesterday when the radiologist said i may have passed the gall stone...i wasnt convinced...but i looked online last nite...it can happy...altho ur mighty lucky if it did. Im just hoping now my blood tests come back all ok...and i have a clean bill of health. Also the gyms butterfly program started this week...and they are giving out prizes determined on how often u get to the gym. I have no idea what the prizes are but its a extra focus for me. Anyway last nite i ate home made fried rice and diet coke AND a piece of chocolate...completed tested my system and NO pain so i feel like a weight has been lifted from me as i feel confident to eat healthy foods, cant say i would feel confident about kfc for example...but im thinking thats a good thing.

I am positive i am going to my sisters tomorrow nite now...i feel good...and cant see a reason why not. So i am really started to get excited about the trip. And when i get back on the friday nite its tans bday so me and felicity talked last nite and think we will go out for dinner with her and then to the wheaty for a few drinks...(non alcoholic for me) next morning i have to work at 7.30am but it will be nice to get out and have a quiet evening with them.

Today i am off to the gym for a PT session - go me !!! and omg yanno i cant stop looking at those numbers...170.9 and now 138.8....damn amazing - have a good day all !

Well...boy what a day. I had to fast this morning...then went to the ultrasound appointment...they ultrasounded everything...spleen, heart, kidneys, liver and gall bladder and then the radiologist told me he sees no gall stones ! what the...??? He said its possible ive passed it...but that ill know more when i see my doc on friday. My doc had also mentioned it could be a fatty liver or a infected liver...so i presume ill know more on friday. Anyway if they tell me im ok...and just need to watch my diet and dont need any appointments next week then im gonna jump on that bus and head to streaky bay friday nite and ill come back tuesday nite...so at least ill get 4 days with the kids.

I then went to the gym...well...i was planning to do a TTT class and weigh in. Well i misread the timetable and TTT was half over and the next class was body attack which the girls at the desk talked me into...OMG can we say "face as red as a beetroot" im so tired now...and i can feel my muscles aching already.

I then went to weigh in...i know weigh 138.8 kilos...so ive now lost 32.3 kilos...goddamn amazing ! i swear to gawd. They also took my measurements...and last month i lost 6.5 cm from my waist and 2.5 cm from my bust so thats all good. Then they told me about the butterfly program which im in. For next weeks session i need to get a box thats decorated and represents "me" and is larger then a tissue box...lol


okies off i go ... have a great day all !

Well...finally things are happening. I went to the doctor today, and they did the blood test and i am going to have the ultrasound tomorrow morning.Friday i have a follow up appointment and if the ultrasound confirms the gall stones then she will fax a letter to the hospital asking for my surgery to be done as soon as possible. So thats a good thing. I rang up my health fund today cos i was thinking so i dont have a issue like this again to get hospital cover. But they told me would be $150-$160 a month and id still have waits for when the private doctor could fit me in...so whats the point of private cover? I do have extras and the good news is they confirmed i can claim on glasses so if on friday when i get my eyes tested...if i need glasses i can get that all organised and hopefully get rid of the migraines. Food wise....i think ive figured out under a gram of fat and im ok. I had low fat cheese and tomato toasted sandwich today and no pain...which is soooooooooo good...and was so freakin' delicious ! And back to the gym tomorrow. Presuming i have time i will do a tummy and thighs class...followed by my weigh in...if not ill weigh in then do 15 minutes on the bike while i build up the cardio again. Okies well off i go...gonna play a few games of gammon before i go relax infront of the tv and watch some more of my cold case files =]

Well i got my letter yesterday for the appointment for the ultrasound. Its set for august 9. But the ER doc had told me my doctor may be able to get this pushed ahead. So when i go to my doc on tuesday for the follow up blood test i will ask him if theres anything he can do. Im also going to ask if he has any pain killers he can prescribe in case i get another attack (ive heard taking zantax can help and that docs can prescribe are stronger version of it) also i will ask him about which foods i can eat. I need to eat more variety then i am at the moment. Ill also check in about the gym, i will go wednesday to the gym no matter what...either to get back into things and weigh in or ill weigh in and give them a certificate to put my membership on hold...all depends what the doctor says.

Oh and btw thank you everyone who leaves me posts or emails me i always love the messages and tania no i didnt go to streaky bay...i was really too ill to chance a attack on the bus. And trisca thank you for the nice words - so nice to see u back at the gym =]

Last nite i watched sisterhood of the travelling pants....such a sweet movie. Today im recording the longest yard, the 40 year old virgin, curious george and just my luck...so lots to watch tomorrow lol

Okies off i go ... enjoy your weekend all !

Well i truly have been away for a bit eh? To be honest ive been quite ill. Last wednesday nite i went out to dinner with tania,,,i had a migraine and so knew i wasnt well...anyway i ordered pizza,,,and then became ill. Poor tania...on the way home i ended up throwing up. I thought it was merely a side effect of a migraine. Then sunday morning i had nothing in the house so thought as a treat ill get a danish from bakers delight....well i ate it and not long after i had the most excruciating pain below my ribs...i put up with it for a couple of hours before going to the doctor...they gave me a injection and told me it was my gall bladder. Unfortunately the injection made me throw up. So i went and stayed at mums. I went back to the docs the next day and the only advice was "eat bland food" so i did...but that nite again i ended up with the pain except it was even worse this time...i ended up calling a ambulance and was taken to royal adelaide. Where they gave me painkillers via a drip (i was really dehydrated) and a shot of morphine. They then did a whole series of tests...chest xrays, blood tests, etc and it turns out i have a blockage in my gall bladder. Friday i have to go have a follow up blood test to make sure the liver is fine as that was a bit not so good but thats pretty common with gall stones apparantly. I am now on a waiting list to see a specialist and for surgery. So its now time to be INCREDIBLY careful with my food. Im really not eating a lot so far just soup, bread, and yoghurt. Tonite im gonna try some of the heinz tinned spaghetti...as long as its soft and i chew it up completely i seem okay. I had some strawberry jam on bread today and i got so excited cos it had real taste LOL When i go to the docs on friday i will talk about the gym too...im not sure if im really eating enuff to sustain workouts (in fact im positive i wouldnt be) but hopefully over the next week ill build it up so im eating decent meals...i just wanna be super careful and test everything before i start eating. Basically now i eat something by taking a tiny bite chew it up real well and if no pain i eat a lil more...i did peak at the scales and not surprisingly they seem to have gone down. When i last weighed at the gym by my scales on that day i was 140.5 then when i ate bad i went up to around 143 kilos...when i just looked now im 141 kilos. Im slowly building up the water today ive drunk 600 mls so far today (huge improvement from one glass on monday) and i really need to keep working on this as im not daring to try any other drinks yet. ill be happy if i drink close to another 600 mls today. Yanno i gotta say anyone who eats fatty food whether skinny or fat...get yaself on a healthy diet....this situation i am in now is horrible...and if i could take back the last 5 years of KFC's i would lol...okies im off ....have a good week all...ill try and post again on the weekend but not really sitting at the puter much at the moment

Well lawdie posting 2 days running...things must be getting back to normal eh? Actually they are....and today i feel great. Much more like myself....i started work at 7.45am today and when i got into work just before 7.30am i was chatting away and the bois were like my gawd ur chipper today arent u??? LOL

But yes i feel much better when i was struggling with TOM not only did i have the cramps but i didnt feel myself, normally im pretty laid back and easy going...but i was feeling and the only way i can describe it is claustrophobic...kinda like everyone and everything stay the hell away from me LOL...but i am not feeling good. And i have been good on the food front today and being much nicer and more realistic with myself today. Even with the gains i have at the moment of which some will be fluid...im still about 6 kilos lighter then when i joined the gym. My life is getting to such a neat happy lil place these days. In fact sometimes i sit here kinda amazed...and its not about my weight...or about fitting into a outfit...the big thing is how happy i am and starting to realise how people see me. Yanno i dont really suffer from a poor self esteem...i have good self worth...if i was to get into a relationship...i have standards and expectations...there are things i will and wont put up with...but while i have that self worth i have a poor view of how i felt people see me. Im no model and never will be but over the last few months to be called by people who know me things like cutey...and to be told im attractive or have a lovely smile or like last week to be told i am a beautiful woman is quite astounding to me...and for it to slowly sink in is wonderful too...i feel like bit by bit more of me is coming out...i am being more of myself...not thinking i should hide this part of me or that part of me...and truly coming to like myself. Which is a lot more relaxing...when you dont have to be guarded about your life. I think right up until this point of my life theres been a need to accept and work out within myself my sexuality. Being a lesbian and things that have been impacted by this is a huge part of "me". Thats not to say i talk about it a lot...to be honest i dont...altho the bois at work know and tease me LOL about girls...but anyway i remember being as young as 10 and having crushes on older women except i didnt realise what was going on back then...just knew i liked them...and wanted to be around...i remember being liek 12-13 and wondering if what i felt about women was normal and i recall reading teen magazines. Like dolly etc and you'd read the letters the girls would write in and theyd say stuff like i like this girl a LOT does that make me a lesbian? And the responses i recall reading was no its natural to have crushes on older women as you grow up...so i didnt question it a lot then. And being the quite conservative family i have...and living in Adelaide i never really questioned it growing up...altho by the time i was 25 i did start to wonder... and boy oh boy when i discovered the lesbian chat rooms...after time i knew without a doubt id found "me" lol but im a late bloomer in some ways and its taken time but "me" is at a nice place right now.

Okies well dinner is cooking...tuna and cheese pasta...yum yum...have a good nite all ~!

Well lawdie a update is well n truly overdue eh? Ive actually been off track...and my guess is ive gained 4 kilos. The last two weeks ive struggled with TOM...and been having stomach cramps for 2 weeks...altho the past week they were the most severe...even today i am still getting some cramping (even tho TOM is all done with so weird) Anyway the doc has put me back on the pill i took like 8 years ago when i was first diagnosed with PCOS...theyve told me to miss the sugar pills for a few months as the losing of weight has regulated me which helps with PCOS but makes endometriosis worse. Anyway today i am back on track. Tuesday I am planning to try a class at the gym (ive been slack with the gym too)...anyway tuesday i will try that...its a swiss ball class...so i guess its lots of abdomen exercises etc ... will find out soon enuff.

On the going out i havent gone out as much the last 2 weekends...this weekend i worked (had to be at work 6.30am saturday morning !) and last weekend i was too cold and lazy lol...maybe next weekend...we will see. Its funny too realising how much the soft butch girls are attractive to me...never realised before that i would be so attracted to them LOL

Also bought my new fridge ! Its lovely ! Its a fisher & paykel and gets delivered on the 3rd which is the day im going to streaky bay. So it will be nice having a lovely spacious fridge.

Okies off i go !

Welll geezus how freaking cold is it in Adelaide? -2 last nite ffs !!!! Okies heres a question have you ever really thought about your style???? Was talking to a friend at work yesterday about clothes (hes gay and knows i am too) so hes like as i had told him i was going clothes shopping....are you gonna buy some skirts,,,,and i looked at him said...no...have u ever seen me in a skirt??? then he asked something flowery??? im like ummmm no,,,,and the more i started to think about it....do i really dress the style that i like...without influences??? Think about it ... how many times growing up were you told "dress like a lady" or "act like a lady" i was told it lots...and the expectation was to follow that..dress lady like...act lady like...now anyone who knows me....whilst i dont lack manners....i dont think id describe me as "lady like"....im a klutz for one thing lol....and thats not me....i like very simplistic things...clean lines etc...if i thought about it cleared my mind (i tried this in bed last nite hahahhaha) and thought...okies going to a social occassion...size 10...have ample money to buy whatever choose....id wear denim jeans...with a nice belt...white tshirt...and jacket. i know im influenced easily...ive always liked pleasing...especially my mum...i hated her mad and "disappointed" in me...sure i was still a brat and a half but if i ever did something real bad (like when i tried to smoke a cigerette when i was like 14) i was guilt ridden and had to tell her....and kinda get forgiveness...if that makes sense and im still the chick who really doesnt make waves...if i dont like something or someone or simple walk away....i dont deal with it...which is good in some sense (such as work) but i think maybe in some ways thats made me not deal with issues in my life...like for example when 2 weeks after me n Ang split she suddenly had a new gf....instead of venting at her and making her accountable...i sat there and cried on the phone and she tried to make me feel better...i shoulda point blank told her thats not how i expect to be treated...and i think in a lot of circumstances i can be like that. And i know sure as hell back then when going thru that heart ache...i resorted to food...

I had a PT session today...omg she worked me so hard she has really stepped up the intensity the last few weeks....today i did squats with the ball in my back whilst holding a 7 kilo weight...man that was hard work

This week im gonna aim for 5 sessions at the gym. Im starting work at 9.30 monday to thursday so im gonna wake at 6.15am...lol lets see if i manage it even one day heh

After the session i went shopping....bought a denim jacket, new handbag, 2 new books (one on that girl in belguim who was a missing child who was found 7 years after being locked in a drama and the maria korp case - yes for people who didnt know im a true crime buff lol) im gonna save the maria korp one for on the bus over to streaky bay tho...then i bought a orange jumper, a black hooded fleecy top...a red hooded top, white t shirt, a orange top for going out...think thats all...OH and a glow in the dark care bear for my nieces birthday LOL

There was a pool nite on tonite...but its too friggin cold to go out plus was all the way down at christies beach but im not sorry to have a saturday nite at home specially in this cold...okies everyone...have a fabulous weekend !

Well lets hope i ahve no problems with this post as i notice blogger is being a bit of a pain.

Went to the gym this morning....i firstly did 5 minutes on the cross trainer....anyone used this before???? OMFG is all i can say...my heart rate certainly got up....then i did 20 minutes on the bike...and then i planned to do 5 minutes on the rower but 3 minutes and i was dying so i finished. They also released a new schedule for the classes and they have added lots of classes that are just 30 minutes long...which means i may be able to last em LOL...theyve now got classes on boxing, cross training, pilates, amazing abs, circuit so some more variety. Next friday on my day off ill try a 30 minute boxing class...so yep u guessed it my head is in the right head space again.

Im nearly finished my booked "stolen time" omggggggggggg SO good !!! if u like true life biographies u really have to get it. Tomorrow morning i am planning to go to the gym and then also on saturday for my PT session...ill be weighing in next on tuesday so gonna try REAL hard !

Okies lunch is practically over...time to do some work !

Well i still havent got back on track but am DETERMINED today. So far...so good...slice of fruit toast for breakfast and just had 30 grams on mixed nuts. For lunch i am planning to have a wrap with chicken, lil bit of cheese, low fat mayo lettuce and tomato. And then tonite...i am planning to have a ceaser salad with a baguette...im also onto the water. I didnt set my alarm so didnt make it to the gym. But when i woke i did do 50 steps on the stepper and will do 50 more before i go to sleep tonite...so im getting there LOL

Yesterday went to the movies...and was a nice reminder of how nice it is to fit into the seats. I went and saw "Because I said so" which i loved. I was thinking of seeing pirates of the caribean but i havent seen the first 2 movies.

Tonite i will set my alarm and am determined to do a workout.

This weekend i dont have much planned. I was suppose to volunteer saturday nite but they have made no contact (as promised) with the details so i doubt its on. Sunday i plan venturing out to TTP to go shoppinggggggggggggggggggg !!! I have a voucher for $50 + im taking $500 out of my bonus money.

Okies off i go .... la la la


LATER

Well im declaring this day a success...i wasnt perfect but it was a improvement, i had a lepigna roll with ham, cheese n tomato for lunch. I then went to the team meeting...where kate the only other female in my team and a wunderful cook had made mini cheese cakes ! And yes i did have one...i didnt have anything organised for dinner so stopped at macccas and picked up the thai chicken deli roll...and have just whipped up a ww chocolate mousse. Tomorrows aim is to do it all again AND go to the gym.

Also i nearly forgot to post my blood test results. My cholesterol level is 4.6, blood sugar is 3.6 which is good good...my iron, thyroid, liver and kidneys are all good. The blood cells did show some "markers" which indicate a virus altho not which virus, i have to go back in a month to be retested and if the "markers" arent normal they will investigate further...but im feeling better so will prolly be fine.

My heel/instep has been a lot better lately so im gonna start treadmill work...nothing much just 5 minutes ill do for the next few weeks...okies mousse should be just about ready ! off i go !

Well lawdie whatttttttttttttt a week ! Where do i start...lol....firstly whilst 90% of the time my food has been good,,,,,ive been bad,,,,,and eaten some really high in salt, processed food...so at the moment my scales are showin a 3 kilo gain. Im sure a proportion of that is fluid retention...but back to getting serious as of today ! And also serious about the gym again...ive been going maybe twice a week...simply finding excuses not to go...and well its not on...i know some weeks cos of my roster getting to the gym may be hard but this week it wont be and im going 5 days this week, tuesday to saturday.

We got our annual bonus letter last week and we get the bonus this week...and its nice and healthy ! and incredibly well timed. My fridge is dying a slow death....so thats the first thing...needs to be replaced...i may go down to radio rentals and look at their fridges this afternoon and price one...i also plan to take out $500 for clothes and the remainder (prolly about $800) i will put down on a lounge suite and pay the rest of between now and when its delivered. So all exciting.

When i went into work on friday they announced we are now getting free broadband at home ! So after transferring to big pond cos i was getting a better deal...i now have to churn back to optus lol cos im not knocking back free dsl....so i organised that friday nite.

Last nite i went out to the wheaty hotel...and oh what a nite lol. We went there and a friend of felicitys was turning up...she turned up....and felciity had showed her my photo and she thought i was cute and i guess she presumed we would get it on lol (should never presume when it comes to me ! lol) anyway she wasnt my type very agressive which i personally find unattractive and i thought she verged on being rude. She then pulled felicity aside and was like "well is she interested" and felicity was like i dunno...i havent asked her. Then another friend tan says to me (in front of this ladies adult son - dont ask why he was there - thats another story) and says is felicity trying to set u up? i said nah i dont think so...but i guess she likes me but im not interested....well lol next thing her son runs over to her lmfao -oops- and next thing she comes back to the table and is all over felicity calling her baby and telling felicity to come over for dinner....and felicity over the nite changed her opinion of this woman cos of how she was acting and was like "well we will see" lol...this morning felicity apologised for this woman...but as i told her not her fault....i just found that womans personality unnattractive. So despite finding her unnattractive...it means SOMEONE found me attractive or cute lol...so huge ego boost and readjustment of my thinking ! Okies i have uploaded a photo or two so enjoy.

Well...weigh in is not gonna be so good this week LOL...i found bbq shapes at my mums house :( and had some doritos too LOL...ive been back on track since yesterday but going by my scales ive had a 4 kilo gain !! What the ...! Either my scales are seriously fukked up or im retaining fluid like a mermaid lol...the plan today was to get stuck into my water...but wtf happens??? SA Water drilled into one of the water pipes on the street i work by accident and theres no water coming into the building for 2.5 hours (not much fun when u think theres 300+ workers here) I just had my half a scone and slim drink...mmmmmmmmmmm

Last nite i made chicken and cashew stirfry from the symply too good to be true books...yum yum...was so scrummy and delish and was filled with lots of vegies...snowpeas...and capsicum etc yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Im off to the docs tonight to get my blood test results....okies off to do some work !

OMG sooooooooooo tired. Im still house sitting my mums place and finding it a lil hard to sleep at nite...i went to bed at 10.30pm last nite and didnt manage to get to sleep till after 2am and as the alarm went off at 7am...very very sleepy...got a snealy suspicion i will fall asleep easily tonite lol.

Yesterday i met felicity and a friend of hers tan at the grace emily hotel to listen to this singer...susie keyes...being that we were both disorganised...we only made it for the olast 4 or 5 songs...so we decided we are going to go again next sunday to hear the whole set. Its at this very cool lil hotel...and in this back room woth sofas and a tiny stage...with people sitting on the floor and the sofas...etc Then not long after i got home Felicity messaged me to say Tan wants us to go out with her saturday night...so look who has plans again? lol So saturday i will be off to the wheaty hotel which is a bit of a lesbian hangout from all accounts.

Okies off i go to do some work

LATER...isnt funny how we slowly learn things without realising? I can be kind of superficial lol (prolly no shock there) anyway people especially of the weight watcher under 140 thread been telling me...be who you are and confident and people will be attracted to that, anyway yesterday when we went to this pub and saw this girl singing...i was watching her and thought...hmmm yumm...and then as i watched her a bit more i "really" looked at her...and i thought wow thats not someone i would have thought was attractive (im usually a fan of cleavage and that she didnt have LOL) and anyway it clicked to me...it was her "presence" that i am attracted too...and not to get off the whole weightloss topic altogether cos i know the whole "lesbian" talk prolly scares some people off but hell it is my journal...but it makes me realise why im attracted to "soft butch" girls...its their "presence" their confidence. If i look at a girl in a completely superficial way...the one who is attractive in a superficial sense would have long hair buxom boobs...but the type of girls im ACTUALLY interested in is that girl regardless of what she looks like (altho simialr height would be nice) but that girl who is totally confident in herself...not outspoken but confident in the person she is comfortable with her,,, of course my guess is shes a jeans and tshirt wearer which is not aesthetically what im attracted to but that presence would be what im attracted too. Wow i am finally figuring out what i want ! lol I met this woman online a few years ago...lets call her "C" and she was from Sydney and Bi...and i use to have lots of indepth chats with her but i remember once specifically...where she said "you will never have a successful relationship" till YOU know what you want and followed up with "how can you expect a partner to know what you want when you dont know what you want" and its so true...so "C" im getting there LOL i also remember after me and Ang broke up i was at the grrls bar that use to be open in the city and i saw this girl...omg charisma and presence nooooooooo end...but she wasnt "attractive" aesthetically...and i remember being a tad confused...but now its all suddenly making sense....oooo girls...gotta love em !!!! lol

PS thanks for all the comments - they are always lovely to recieve !

oooooooo well its been a grande day !!!! first things first....weighed in and wo0ot lost 1.5 kilos. I was also measured and lost a total of 15 centimetres in the past month...so yay all is going in the right direction. Also when i went to fernwood, Amy my slim coach told me about a new program fernwood is doing...its called butterfly and starts July 1, it basically is too keep you motivated over winter with lots of group sessions, it will include information sessions...group personal training sessions...as a group attending classes...you work in teams and then towards the end they do a bit of spoiling...like giving us pedicures and manicures....and at the very end of the 3 months a hair stylist and make up artist will come in and make us over and then a photographer will do some shots for us to purchase. So thats really exciting and gonna be great motivation...have i mentioned lately i think joining fernwood was the best decision ive made? LOL

I also cycled 12 kilometres again today in 30 minutes :)

And it looks like next sunday night i am going to the drag ball ! LOL with my friend felicity and another friend of hers she has met from online and hopefully we can drag some of the other grrls from the sofa we have met...i just plan to go and boogy !!!! Tomorrow I am off in the afternoon to listen to a band susan keyes play.

Okies off i go...have a fantabulous weekend all - i know i will !!!!

Oh and nearly forgot...hypothetical question id love to get peoples views on....would you go out or date someone who was in a different socio-economic group to yourself??? Thanks byesssssssssssssss

Well g'day all...been a few days eh? Well been overtired again so yesterday i was off to the docs and had a blood test...they are checking for glandular fever (thats mono to the yanks) to see if im having a reoccurence of it as i had it about 8 years ago. They are also checking my salt and iron levels.

And its fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!! And i have the whole weekend off YaY. Altho im gonna keep it relatively quiet. Tomorrow i have to weigh in and will do a workout and then ill go do my grocery shopping and drop it off at my house before i head back to my mums house (am house sitting till monday night) Then sunday i am going out to lunch with Tania and then after that later in the day I am catching up with Felicity at a pub in town to listen to a band play. Saturday nite im staying home gonna cook marinated chicken and rice and have a nice quiet and warm relaxing night.

Tomorrow at my weigh in im getting measured too...so that will be exciting.

Okies off i go !

omg im sooooooooooo tired. I dunno whats going on with me except wondering if that bizarre lil bit in the roster last week really mucked up my body clock. I havenet been to the gym this week. And I have decided to get over this tiredness over the next few days and have a few sleep ins and then go back on saturday when I have a weigh in anyway and then i have the weekend off to relax too.

Went into the pink sofa chat room again last nite for a lil while after work which was very amusing...me and felicity sit in msn gossiping about everyone was very funny...the two of us being friends is expanding our network and we both agree that we are both very happy with a platonic friendship as well lets face it grrls...can come and go in ur life pretty quickly.

I will be glad for next week im working 8.30am-4.30pm so go to the gym after work then home to cook dinner,.....nice and civilised LOL And i think i may even try some classes at fernwood next week...a cardio one...i figure ill struggle to keep up but even so it should still be a good cardio work out.

oh and had my yearly report at work done last night and my old manager told me "you have the charisma and control to go far as a team leader" so that was a real lil bonus to be told

Okies i have to scoot off....got some training to attend byessssssssssssssss

Phewwwwwwwwww what a busy weekend ! Saturday i worked till 5 pm and then of course i was going out that night to meet felicity who ive been chatting to online. I got home from work and felicity messaged me to say lou had said for us to go to the "goldens" dance, which is a lesbian dance held in Adelaide every few months. So after some discussion we decided to go there. Me n felicity met out front and were comfy with each other right from the start. We went in to the dance and found a table full of sofa grrls...and then lou came over...she gave me a hug then said "you dont look like your picture" i said is that good or bad? (i always thought the pic was very flattering) and she told me "you look better then your pic". And then basically i had some champagne and me and felicity chatted and perved (of course) for a few hours then lou came and dragged us on the dance floor and then we spend the next hour or so dancing. Was great fun. And at the end of the night was hugs all round. I heard from both feliity and lou today....lou called me gorgeous and felicity said i looked really pretty - heh thats good for the ego right? (never thought id hear anyone say im pretty lol) Me and felicity agreed we arent ever gonna have a romantic connection but i can see us becoming good friends and we are even starting to talk of flying over to melbourne for a weekend...so we will see what comes of that. I really really really need to post some pics....and i will soon...i promise !!! talk soon !

YaY its saturday and im actually working but i have this evening off and tomorrow off...so wo0ot wooo tonight im meeting the girls from the pink sofa at the wheatsheaf hotel I doubt it will be a late nite as i was up at 7.30am this morning...and have been up before 6am the last two mornings too...but still looking forward to the nite. We've been debating whether to stay at the wheatsheaf hotel or there is a "girls" dance on tonite...so we may go there yet...i dont really care ... one fo the grrls who isnt going that i talked to said the dances are quite clicky so we will wait and see. I have drunk a litre of water already and will drink another litre before i go to limit any damage the champagne will do tonite ... im only pplanning on a couple of glasses tho.

Have decided next week to really get the overtime in. I can do 12 hours a week...which gives me...21 hours extra pay...for that week...if i do 24 hours over a fortnight i should get enuff to buy my new fridge without dipping into my bonus money which would be great. Im thinking about the next few months working around the gym really getting stuck into the overtime...so i can buy also a new lounge settings, bedroom suite and enuff for a nice holiday next febuary as my present to me for my 40th

Okies off i go...have a good saturday nite all !

well hello allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll !!!!! Weighed in yesterday and wooo hooo lost another kilo...taking me to a total loss of 27.7 kilos...that 30 kilo is creeping closer and closer.

yesterday i went and got my hair cut...and its quite short now...and if i do say so myself ---- its cute !!! I also had my eye brows waxed wooooo hooooo

Saturday nite is the nite i go out and meet the girls from the pink sofa, so getting a tad nervous over that, but hopefully it will be a good night.

I finish work at 3.30pm today and then off to the gym...which is good should be all home and the gym done by 5pm. Not a lot else to say - have a good day all !

Well hellooooooooo all ! Things are going good at the moment...i have tomorrow and wednesday off. Tomorrow i have a PT session at 10am and wednesday i see my slim coach. As its only 4 days since i last weighed in and considering i went to a party saturday nite im not expecting a big loss...but certainly expecting a loss. The goal is to lose 500 grams ... so we will see.

Well developments on the pink sofa side of things LOL...as i said id been talking to a couple of girls. Both very nice and i cam imagine us all becoming friends (all 3 of us message each other) and i am meeting one of them saturday night at the wheatsheaf hotel...BUT ive started talking to another girl. And we really just seem to click...we chatted on msn for about 2 hours last nite...and it was very easy going and just flowed...so i kinda suspect if with anyone im really gonna click with her and she is going saturday night too. So...with luck all will go good. Wednesday I am going to get my hair cut and yes jody my eyebrows waxed too LOL...im actually starting to feel like a real normal girl...so YaY

OMG @ the rain last nite --- it bucketeddddddddd down...it woke me up it was so loud,,,okies gotta scoot.....bye alllllllllll

"OMG you look great you are like half the size you were"

Omg is that a great compliment or what??? And its mineeeeeeeeeeeeeee alll mine !!!!!! LOL...okies lets go back a bit...went and weighed in yesterday and lost 1.8 kilos woooooooooo hooooooooooo i have now lost 26.7 kilos and am down to 144.2 *sniff* i can smell the 130's LOL...yesterday i went shopping...bought some new bras 0o0 la la nice and girlie ones with satin lil bows on em...i also bought a new top. I then went to Lynseys house for our get together...a friend picked me up and omg was such a fun nite...i was a lil bad foodwise but not too bad...sat around laughing so much...was great. So fat the weekends been really good...and the best thing is i only work monday and then i have another 2 days off wooo hoooo what a lucky gurlie i am...okies...off i go...i need to go buy cleaners for my lap top...so off to office works i go byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee all !

Welllllllll its a new week ! Im sooooooooooooo excited...this week feels like a huge major week...well firstly i have the weekend off ! lalalalal yay me ! Anyway saturday night im going to a work bbq/housewarming party..its at lynseys house and i think i will crash there overnight and i AM drinking...i know thats bad but its like foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr since i let go and really runamok so saturday nite is the nite !!!!

I bought some white 3/4 pants in january which came nowhere near to fitting me and TA-DA they fit me...now i need to buy some nice white undies for em LOL The following saturday nite there is a farewall for one of the grrls at the pink sofa and i am going to that too...oo la la look at me LOL...hopefully saturday nite ill take some photos too.

Off to the gym tomorrow...im really hopeful of a kilo loss this week...which would give me my 25 kilos,,,,will know on saturday...yesterday i did my whole meal plan for the following week including doing the shopping list...wat a prepared chicka i am..sooooooooooooo proud !

okies off i go ------------ enjoy all !

Well hi there lovely people =] Went off to the gym today...saw amy my slim coach and weighed in and lost another 800 grams ! woo hoo so im now 146 kilos...im 100 grams of my 25 kilos and only 1.1 kilos to get under 145 kilos. part of the slimplicity plan is about meal planning...so on monday on my day off i will be sitting down with my symply too good to be true recipe books and working out which recipes can fit into each meal. You have to eat a certain amount of each food groups at different meals. Ill then set up a spreadsheet and do the meals for the week. I then went and did a workout...i was on the bike for 30 minutes (30 minutes and one second to be exact LOL) i burnt 167 calories and cycled for 12.3 kilometres...I was very impressed with that. Tomorrow i will have a day off then each weekday this week i will go everyday id really like to have a good solid loss next weekend to really cement im on a new path. Oh and the bike riding seems to be helping my heel a lil...im walking on the flat of my feet all the time now...of course still sore...but thats a improvement. My PT trainer said its cos the bike will work my calves which will strength those muscles.

A friend i met of the ww forum messaged me on msn last nite...she use to go tocurves too and shes like im not going to ww anymore...im like me either....well turns out she joined fernwood 2 days ago LOL...what a coincidence. She said shed never worked out as hard at curves as she has at fernwood...which cements my belief...and i really am convinced now fernwood was the right decision.

Next weekend i am going to a bbq/party... o0o la la...its at a friend from works house and theres about 20 of us going. Its down south but one of the guys is picking me up..ill take marinated chicken and have salad...but i think i will have a drink or two AND the weekend after i finsih work at 5pm on saturday nite then i meeting that girl ive been chatting to on the pink sofa at the wheatsheaf hotel...a bunch of girls from the pink sofa are going there for a farewell..so we thought that was a good idea...theres some bands playing there that nite...omg its like a social life LOL okies off i go...working today and doing a couple of hours of overtime so its gonna be a longgggggggggg day !

Well boy im tired LOL...today i went to the gym for my personal training session but turned up early (30 minutes early) so ended up doing 30 minutes of cardio before the PT session. I actually burnt over 150 calories on the bike and cycled over 10 kilometres yay me ! I will be weighing again on saturday so fingers crossed.

I have also made tentative to meet up with one of the grrls from the pink sofa on sunday 26th May. We have been trading messages for about 3 weeks...and she is looking just for friends which suits me. So hopefully we will catch up then...okies off to work i go...hi ho hi ho....its off to work i go............ (imagine the 7 dwarfs hehe)

Well boy o boy was yesterday a good day ! I went to the gym to weigh in, for my first "official" slimplicity session...now since i went on saturday i made some changes. I stopped having 2 slices of toast at breakfast and had one with fruit. And i exchanged my muesli bar for cruskits on some of the days. I upped the water. And ate more fruit...and of course in those 4 days i had been to the gym twice. Well...on saturday on their scales i was 151 kilos...tuesday nite i was 146.8 ! LOL i know a big part of it is doing the cardio...cos ive never really done it. Curves is more the hydraulic weights then cardio. And when doing the cardio ive been making sure my heart rate stays over 110 (its been over 135 a lot of the time) So i am now convinced for me fernwood was the right decision. Today im having a recoup day lol...tomorrow is my PT session and then i am working 8 out of 9 days...so i deserve this rest dammit ! LOL Okies off i go byesssssssssssssssssssssssss

wow been some busy busy days ! Saturday i went to the gym and then worked till 8pm...then sunday morning i was back at work at 7.30am. After work yesterday i then went to mums to visit with my sis and the kids...which was great fun. This morning i got up at 9am went to the gym and now at work. But the next two days i am off woooooooo hoooooooo...tomorrow i am going to try a body balance class find my inner harmony and all that jazz lol

One of the grrls off pink sofa asked me about meeting up at wheatie hotel this friday nite but unfortunately im working...but she was telling me...me, her and another grrl shes been chatting with would get along good. So i messaged the other grrl today and hopefully soon we mite be able to all meet up.

I feel like the gym is working im noticing my 3/4 jeans are sitting on my hips not my waist...so thats a good sign. YaY.

Okies off i go have a good day all !

Well im in pain ! OMG ! my chest, arms arm pits, butt, thighs, inner thighs all hurtttttttttt...ive been to the gym 3 days running....tomorrow i will have off but ill be back in on monday. Today i managed 29 minutes on the bike at level 3 doing the fat burner program. So i was pretty impressed with that. But i wanna build that up to 40 minutes. I ahd my intro simplicity session today...i was really impressed...the focus is more on making sure im eating all my food groups...i went thru my eating and she told me...less carbs more fruit n vegetables (no real surprise there LOL) but also gave me suggestions for ways to do this. Anyway i signed up to start slimplicity officially on tuesday...but the next 3 days i ahve to record in a diary what i eat and they will look at it on thursday. I also weighed in on their scales...151 kilos *ugh* but im not overly bothered...ive been bad the last week or two and we had pizza at mums last nite plus its different scales...i am hoping she will weigh me again tuesday altho that will be in the evening so we will see what i weigh then. But at least i know where i am and what i have to do...okies...off to do some work ciaooooooooooooooooooo

Phew what a day ! Woke up late-ish and went to the gym...i last 10 minutes on the bike and it KILLED my butt...i then did 7 1/2 minutes on the rower. It was a bit short but i was aching from the day before and my butt was really sore...so off i went to rebel sport to buy a gel seat for the bike lol hopefully tomorrow wont hurt as much ! I then went grocery shopping and bought lots and lots of fresh fruit n vegetables...the this afternoon/evening spent it with my sister and her family. Which was a lot of fun (and in the process learn all the different characters in dora the explorer lol) Tomorrow is truly D day. Me and my friend Claudia who both weigh similar weights are weighing in tomorrow and gonna bust our butts to get to 110 kilos by xmas. I will see the slimplicity lady at fernwood tomorrow...weight in and then get moving to hopefully a good loss this week...i really need that weigh in and that accountability...i know i havent been so good foodwise this week...but that changes as off tomorrow ! Okies its late...im tired and have a relatively early mornign tomorrow - take care all !

Okies i been thinking...are we defined by the decade of age we are? i think i already mentioned im turning 40 this year. Its weird ive suddenly seen a few things about 40 year olds thats made me stop n think. Was watching a old episode of all saints the other nite and this guy was fainting and having chest pains and he told them he was 40 years old and they were deciding what course of treatment...and at 40 they said he was at the border of whether diet n exercise would be enuff to help him...after 40 u needed surgery...i watched it and thought eeeeeeeeeeeeeep ! Then in one of the glossy womens mags i read about a guy who died of a heart attack at 41. So you know i been battling my weight seriously since my early 20's and its always been a case of in my head ill resolve this before it becomes a health issue. But of course now as i am going to be 40 years old (eek) there is really no second chance...its simply a case of gotta do it this time ! But in a lot of ways i wanna turn 40 and i only really realised it today. Yanno...in my 20's i led the good life...had a good bunch of friends and was going out a lot. Then in my 30's i went thru the process of coming out, i isolated myself and got to my highest weight ever. Now so the next day i have decided is MY time. I am going to be damn well down to 110 kilos and i am going to be meeting people and dating (oh the poor lesbians of adelaide LOL) so the next 7 months is really busting my butt. I am determined to start my new decade on a high.

I went to the gym today and did a PT session and lemme say my arms ACHE lol already ! They feel really tired and are aching...but it was good. The trainer is really nice and she is gonna work out a plan so that i know every day i go in there what i need to do. So im not going blindly. I then did a fitness test and on the rowing maching i rowed 858 metres on intensity level 8 which the grrl seemed to think was rather good.

Okies off i go for a nice hot shower to soak these muscles !

okies a super quick post just to confirm something lol...im definitely a chick...lol...a pink princess no less lol and i am also a lesbian....yes black sheep of society lol...but no its all good...just wanted to clear that up. Okies one shift and im on a weekend...off i go to start my day all ! byessssssssssssssssssss

Well i think i hurt my heel/instep more yesterday and not via the gym lol i was getting on the bus and the stoopid driver parked like half a metre from the curb and when i stepped up i think i overstretched the instep...so i have made a appointment with a physiotherapist for tuesday. The grrl from the gym told me yesterday they would prolly strap it and i prolly need some scans done on it which the physio can do.

Yesterday Livy asked where i get my motivation...so ill explain cos i think im getitng new readers who may not know my past.About 4 years ago i lost 23 kilos...went from 153 kilos to 130 kilos...had a girlfriend at the time all was great. But then we split up...i suffered depression and gained not just that weight but 40 kilos...till i reached 170.9 kilos. In the last year before i started ww when i was at my 170 kilos my life had really deteriated. I was falling over a lot...as if my balane was affected and had one bad fall where i tore ligaments in my ankle..i had exceessive fluid retention in my feet and calves, when catching a bus i always had to make sure i had my ticket before hand cos i didnt fit thru the section where you went to buy the ticket...when going to team meetings at work i couldnt fit into the chairs...had to sit on the very edge of em...which when u gotta sit there fro a hour is uncomfortable as crap...i was getting viruses every few weeks and last april/june i was off work for 7 weeks with bronchitis...i truly had no life....oh at the time i thought i was happy...had work and lived in a chat room when not at work...when i was sick...and work was taken from me the only thing i had was the chatroom...and i lived in it 24/7, my mum gets bad asthma/bronchitis so i couldnt be around her...and to be honest in the past year i had isolated myself...so it was me and the computer. But also having so much time on my hands suddenly left me to do lots of thinking...i started thinking about a lot...and i started to realise if i didnt do something soon i would be bound to the house and pretty much a invalid. So i got over the bronchitis and a few weeks later joined weight watchers. Its been a slow process not just the weight loss but the changing in my lifestyle. I had so many factors which made my life unhealthy...one clearly was a addiction to chat rooms which was only assisted by me work evenings...as i was able to be online when all the americans were. So a few months after i started at weight watchers the option of working evenings every week was taken from me when work changed the way our rosters were going to work...and suddenly i was on a rotating roster. It still meant some weeks i worked evenings but most weeks i worked days, which allowed me to be a lil normal. Have my evenings free and cook a nice dinner (was nice to get away from microwave meals LOL) and to ahve time in my evenings to watch tv. Now to most people watching tv is unhealthy too,,,,but it was removing me from chat rooms so i knew it was a good step for me. Then over the last 9 months lil bit by lil bit my lifestyle has changed. About 3 months ago i re-discoverred that i love reading...so im back to reading for half an hour or so before bed. (no more staying online till i can barely hold my eyes open) so as ive slowly seen my life change for the better...the better it gets the more im determined it wont go back to where it was. I have never before eaten healthy for 9 months running. Now i dunno about my motivation levels as i know lots on the ww forum more motivated then me...BUT anyone who knows me knows im stubborn with a captital S...and when i decide on something i dont usually change my mind (if jody reads this she will be laughing as she often tells me im the most stubborn person shes ever known) So gradually over the last 9 months ive started to get up earlier and take more advantage of the day. Initially when the gym suggested the 7am time slot for yesterdays orientation session i was like no no no...but later when i thought about it there was no reason not too...i was working till 8pm the nite before but i knew as long as i was in bed by 10.30pm id be fine - and i was. When i was with my ex Ang i weighed 130 kilos....when i started this journey 9 months ago i was 40 kilos away from it...seemed like forever away...now im only 15-16 kilos from being 130 kilos...its an awesome feeling to think how close to a certain level of normality i will be. But each week whether i lose weight or not i am getting closer....its really not just about weight for me altho thats a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee factor...its also about getting me back....and not getting to a point in my life when im old with regrets that i did not really live my life cos of my weight...so i dont want people to think im some superhero with huge motivation levels that i dug up or something LOL im not...im just a stubborn ass....and i refuse to give up...even if i have a bad week every now and then...i may stumble but i sure as hell refuse to fall over and stay over...and btw thank you for the comments i always LOVEEEEEEEEEE reading them...okies over n out all LOL

byesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Well where was i at 6.50am this morning? yep u guessed it ! The gym ! i did my first orientation session and it was great, the girl who i did it with is a physiotherapist so she gave me exercises and info to help with my heel too. She showed me to use th treadmill, bikes and rowing machine. Ive never used the rowing machine...i was rather impressed with that. She actually ended up putting it on level 9! and i was maintaining 70 watts...level 9 is the second highest it goes too. She was quite impressed with my fitness level so all this exercising has been helping me. And she showed me how to do interval training on the bike,,,,and in the end she wrote up a 30 minute cardio plan for me. Which is:

Warm up on bike - 5 minutes
Interval training on bike - 5 minutes
Rowing machine - 5 minutes
Interval training on bike - 10 minutes
Cool down on bike - 5 minutes

So that gives me 30 minutes and its not on one machine doing the same thing for long (i tend to get bored easily lol) at my next orientation session she said i will learn to use the cross trainer and stepper and can add them in to give me a 40 minute cardio session each time. So i feel really pumped...my next session is on thursday...then i can start just going in and using the machines once i done both orientation sessions and i am REALLY going to aim for 5 sessions per week cos the said thats what i really need to do for weight loss...mite even go do a session before seeing my sister friday morning...okies gonna scoot byesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Well i did change my first orientation session to 7am...lawdie can u believe it? i was talking to mum last nite after work and saying how i wanna start going to the gym at that time regularly. We got shown our new roster flow which starts in 3 weeks and it has a lot more earlier shifts. Only 3 weeks out of 8 will i be working evenings so it shouldnt be too hard to getinto the habit of in bed by 10.30pm-ish (i do this often anyway) that would make me nearly normal ! LOL i remember this time last year and the majority of the last 4 years i had worked a shift 3.45pm-11.45pm tuesday - saturday...which meant i ahd no fridays or saturday nites off...and never woke before 11.30am ish. Even thos i worked till 8pm last nite i was still up at 9am. Admittedly i stayed up till about 12.30am but tonite ill go to sleep within a couple of hours of getting home and BOOM up early and off to the gym. I am actually looking forward to it. Until youve done your two orientation sessions u cant work out. So have to do this one then on thursday i have the second session PLUS my PT sessions. So this weeks gym plan is :

Monday : orientation
Thursay : orientation + PT session
Saturday : slimplicity session + cardio workout

And next week i ahve tuesday and wednesday off so im planning to do some classes then ! Tuesday ill do body balance and wednesday TTT...so this week is a build up 3 times per week...the following week tho will be minimum 4 times.

Okies well since im such a wicked thing i gotta work today *ugh* so off i go to earn me some money ! lol have a good sunday all !

*~* Chapter Two starts tomorrow *~*

Well i am still completely psyched about fernwood...i feel like this is the next phase in this journey - chapter 2 !!! and i am going to work off my lil butt to get to 110 kilos by my 40th birthday. Any great ideas for what i can do on my birthday? The only real idea ive come up with is a trip to new zealand. I really loved what i saw of south island when i saw it on biggest loser...and its not expensive to fly there...$441 return...and if i went for say 5 nights i could prolly get the trip for around $1200 that or i need to go somewhere really exciting in australia...if anyone has ideas of something special or unique i could do (that i dont need to be a millionair to afford) pls leave me a message...i think its really important i set a goal and work my lil (okies not so lil) butt off towards it.

The gym opens at 6.30am. I booked mondays session for 12.30pm i think so i may be cutting it too fine...now dont die of shock i think i will ring them in the morning and change the time to 7am LOL who woulda thunk it eh? But i am really determined to get stuck into this cardio work.

My neck is a lot better...still a few twinges....but nothing like it was.

Its been POURING with rain...bucketing down...everyone at work has kinda been in awe watching it lol like its gold or something LOL which considering australias water crisis i guess it is gold right at the moment

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh and exciting news ! my sis and her kids are down on friday (think i mentioned this last post) so excited cant wait to see the bois and the lil princess. And then omg its like only 9 weeks or so till i am going to streak bay. I am having 18 days off in july and a week of that will be at streaky bay...which i am really looking forward too. Okies off to do a lil more work before heading home byessssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I did it ! OMG so excited !!!

Who watched biggest loser finale? It was sooooooooooooooo motivating !!! I think some of the eliminated contestents looked awesome...Sam looked great...and Jules looked so pretty...she has such a pretty face now its slimmed down..and omg how slim is mel? she looked awesome so did munalitta. And *swoons* jillian was there..man she is SO spunky lol michelle looked pretty too i thought...very feminine. I recorded the finale and was so motivated by it all i downloaded a application for next year lol but i wont go in it.Anyway so yesterday i made a appointment at fernwood...and was very pleasantly suprised ! The grrl who ran slimplicity is gone (yay) and its now under new management. They do things differently now,,,i got given a membership book with some recipes and a exercise diary and other stuff in it. They also now do TWO orientation sessions. Anyway i told them the problems i had with slimplicity in the past and so they gave me 2 free sessions to give it another try. I may use it instead of ww meetings...mostly cos my life is so unpredictable and i could attend slimplicity easier...but thats a decision i will make down the track. Initially i joined for a PT and the classes and equipment. I know they are more expensive...but I am hoping if i really committ and get stuck into this it will really get my weight loss moving. They told me i only need to do weights with my PT which is more along the lines i thought especially with curves. so this week coming i have both orientation sessions...a PT session and a slimplicity session. My sister and her family are down on friday. Havent seen them with xmas so friday i will be spending the day with them which should be awesome. I am so very very psyched. They also said i should be able to do RPM classes and i will initially use the bike and cross trainer

I had a yummi lunch today...marinated chicken, roasted capscum, cheese, pesto sauce and spinich on focacia bread...im about to go point it...uh oh LOL

now no laughing but while washing my hair last nite i hurt my neck LOL my doctor ( a different doctor to last time) told me i tore fibres in my neck muscle...no wonder its been sore as crap. When at the docs i AGAIN asked about my heel...hes told me to stop doing weight bearing exercise. Hes told me no long walks, no treadmill and no curves. He wants me to still exercise and suggested i use a bike..so i guess the decision about fernwood has been made. I have made a appointment for tomorrow...when i rang them i said i was a member a few months ago...and when i said my name they said "oh your PT was celeste wasnt it"? LOL damn i cant go anywhere and lemme tell you its like 4 years since i been there !!!! But i started tracking again today (dont die of shock tania i REALLY did lol). it would be really nice if when i get on ww's scales on tuesday if i weigh under 146...it is DEFINITELY time to step this weight loss up...ive also gone back onto my metaformin...i was taking it last year when i was losing well...its a medication for insulin resistance..so i got the script filled and am back on that too. Anyway my chicken n rice is cooked so off i go to eat !

Well...decisions, decisions. I spoke to my friend Jody on the phone this morning, for those who dont know shes a yank i met online 6-7 years ago and weve always remained really close friends. Anyway i rang her today and she made a comment "you always do better with your weight loss when at weight watchers" and it got me thinking...and shes right altho...its really that i do better at weight watchers when going to the meeting i went to last year. This whole year while i have lost (about 10 kilos) its not as much as it could have been...i mean thats around 10 kilos in 15-16 weeks..now im not knocking the weight loss or anything and really glad im 4-5 kilos lighter then when i last was at ww but i think its time to go back to ww and go to my old meeting as often as possible, its not possible every week cos of my roster...but i really liked that leader and weigher and they were always very positive and supportive to me and that one on one from ww i think ive missed. So tuesday i am going back ive decided.

Now im also deciding about the gym (yes again) ive been trying to toss up the pros and cons of curves...the point is i am bored...and other things about it are starting to bug me (ie no shower, not open sundays and that they are closed noon to 2pm each day) there are some weeks where i can only make the gym a couple of times per week and i really wonder if curves is best for me. Ive been looking at fernwood...i really feel like i should do more cardio and less weights...i think doing weights once a week is prolly enuff for me...so decisions decisions

Well i made more scrolls last nite. I didnt make it to the gym...i didnt get out of work till 5.45pm and as the gym closes at 7pm that was cutting it too fine. So went home and watched big brother. OMG im enjoying it so far this year. I also went into pink sofa again...swapped a few more messages with one girl who ive been talking to since mid last week...we seem to get along good and have stuff in common so i can see us arranging to meet each other in time. Which would be good and pressure free as she is looking for friends only which suits me. I then went into hal and played in a gammon tourney and won - wo0ot yay me ! Not much else is happening...but boy i was tired this morning really need a early nite tonite - ok take care all !

Okies first off -- tania you made me all teary !Man i read the comments last nite and the last two today and as well as with all the posts on the ww forum ive been touched by how supportive everyones been. I must say tho your comments really touched me tania...the fact u see a difference...i must say i dont see a huge difference in my demeanour altho i am less moody...but to see someone whose been a friend with me thru past weight loss attempts that meant a real lot to me - so thank you to you and also to every single person who has ever posted on my journal or in response to a post at ww or the 3fatchicks forum =]

Well i wrote a letter...i emailed it to the AMA, a marketing company who does bookings for kerryn phelps and also to catherine lambert from the sunday herald who just today did a article on how biggest loser is damaging...and how people who are doing well with weight loss compare themselves to biggest loser and feel they arent cheating.

I snuck a peak at my scales this morning and this morning they were showing me UNDER 145.9 kilos ... i wont say what number but i think its a certainity i will be telling you a good loss this week and woooo hoooooo thats over 25 kilos ( now lets hope i dont retain fluid or nothing and it keeps going down by this friday lol)

Tonite i am off for dinner at the pub. Spent a bit of time in the pink sofa chat room today..2 different grrls ive been swapping messages with and they are both from Adelaide. Id like to meet as many as possible and hopefully end up with a couple of good friends. Okies off i go for dinner...below is the letter i wrote

o whom it may concern,

I am writing regarding a disturbing situation at a doctors office recently. Firstly I'd like to explain some background information. Last August I joined weight watchers...I weighed in at 170.9 kilos. A few weeks later I had stomach pains and visited Doctor xxxxx who questioned me on my weight. I explained I had recently joined weight watchers, he had 2 sets of scales both which didn't go over 150 kilos. Since last August thru sensible eating and exercise I have lost 24.5 kilos taking me down to 146.4 kilos. On friday I made another appointment with this doctor (my normal doctor was booked out). My appointment was to discuss heel pain and to obtain a doctors certificate as I was off work that day having been off colour for the past 5 days. Well of course my weight was bought up. I told him straight away I have lost 24.5 kilos. He asked me to step on firstly a set of digital scales, I did and they registered 149.7 kilos, he then stated I don't know if thats correct or because they are at their limit. I told him they are incorrect. My scales at home weigh me at 146.4 kilos & the ones at the gym as 142 kilos. He then asked me to step on some old style scales – these weighed me at 147 kilos. He then asked if I was watching biggest loser and commented on how well they all lost weight. Then he asked me how much I was losing. I told him 800 grams per week to 1.6 kilos up until I joined the gym, to which the doctor replied “thats insignificant”. He said thats just a wee or a bowel movement...I then stressed thats 800 grams EVERY week to which he gave me a condescending smile and said “you are obviously doing this very very slowly”

I bring this whole situation up for several reasons. I have no desire to get anyone into trouble, but I am proud of the hard work I have put in to lose the weight I have so far, overweight people are constantly dealing with discrimination – this doctor did not listen to me, he simply judged me and left me close to tears and feeling like I had to justify myself. Overweight people should be able to rely on support from the medical profession.

Another reason I have a issue with this is the ridiculous information he gave me. 800 grams per week is not insignificant. It is in line with the normal weight loss suggestions. I have been told thru weight watchers that 500 grams to a kilo per week is the correct weight to lose each week, if you lose it fast you wont keep it off, may end up with gall bladder issues and loose skin. Now I am very educated on weight loss having submerged myself in this new lifestyle for the past 9 months. But if someone went to him seeking support and advice from him he would have provided the patient with unrealistic expectations. Overweight people should be supported.

My other reason for bringing this up is I constantly see in the media discussions on childhood obesity, adult obesity, the costs to the community for illnesses that are enhanced due to obesity. How can the medical industry expect people to do something about their weight if advice from the doctors that medicare pays is not correct? Are doctors given the correct and necessary tools to help educate and assist people wanting to lose weight and ultimately save the community money? Maybe forums need to be held with doctors to establish their knowledge and to find out what sort of advice they give out to patients. Its easy to say you need to lose weight, but the medical profession needs to educate people on how to eat properly, how to deal with plateaus, what type of medical tests should be taken prior to losing weight (ie stress tests, blood sugar tests – should people be getting these before losing weight?) There should be a website that is monitored and created by the medical industry with resources, and information, specialists in different states that can specialise in different scenarios (ie thyroid issues, PCOS, diabetes specifically in relation to weight loss – maybe such a website exists but Ive never been advised of it by my doctor?)

I hope you can take my feedback seriously, if one doctor is doing it then more then likely others are too. You will never educate the entire Australian community until you educate the entire Australian medical profession.


Yours sincerely

Okies...this may be a long post lol depending how munch i dribble on LOL...so theres ya warning...firstly im gonna put a post i posted on the ww forum last nite...a lot may have read it already but some i know wont have...so here goes....

okies this is a bit of a vent...okies a major vent...been off colour for a few days so called in sick to work today, had trouble getting in for a doc appointment so had to settle for a doc i dont like much (one who suggested i use optifast many years ago), anyway i go in there to talk about my heel pain and the fact im off colour...but of course...as has become the norm 90% of the time was spent discussing my weight. So he looks at his records and goes last time u were here u were 150 kilos (both his scales only go up to 150 kilos) and i say...no actually last time i was here i was around 170 kilos...so he says get on the first scale...they show 149.7 and he goes i dunt know if thats correct or if thats cos the maximum they go to is 150 kilos...to which i say they are wrong...i am 146.4 kilos on my scales at home and 142 kilos on my scales at the gym. So he gets me to go onto one of the old style scales that shows me as 147 kilos. He then says how much are u losing per week? I say..up till i joined the gym i was averaging .8 to 1.6 kilos per week to which he says "thats insignificant" my jaw hit the floor and i thought i was going to burst into tears. So i said...thats 800 grams EVERY week...he then bought up biggest loser and how much they are losing...to which i replied i have been told by ww that 800 grams is a healthy weight loss...to which the almighty doctor says "oh you are obviously doing it very slow" i am so mad! No wonder the obesity levels are so high in this country when someone who is doing something about their weight is made to feel a inch tall and left feeling like i had to justify myself ... i felt no different to the days when i lived on kfc and was sick every week. How on earth does this country plan to batttle obesity when SOME of this countries doctors cannot give educated and realistic answers and support??? I walked out to pay the receptionist and was so trying not to cry...the other frustrating thing is ... maybe there is a grain of truth i have only lost 24.5 kilos in 9 months...i really thought within this first year i would lose in excess of 40 kilos but i cant see that happening. It is so annoying and hes just bought questions that were at the back of my mind to the forefront...i wish there was somewhere that gave u guidelines for what you should expect at different ages & weights...i know the .5 to 1 kilo is what we are told is a healthy weight loss...but at 146 kilos should i be losing more each week? I have half a mind to write to the AMA about it lol...anyway im sorry for venting...just knew if there was one place people would get where i was coming from...was here

Okies...now as you prolly gathered i was mad. Well partly i was humiliated...but another part of me is damn angry. How many times i go to www.news.com.au and there is a story about obesity...and the doctors...the doctors medicare pay give such crap support and advice. I will not lie...last nite i considered getting kfc (yes i am the princess of emotional eating LOL) but i didnt...i ended up having some lite fish and oven fries...and calming down watching this weeks gilmore grrls. But i am mad and annoyed at the advice given,,,today or tomorrow im going to draft up a letter and email it to the SA branch of the AMA.

Anyway when i woke this morning i had a peek at the scales...and soemone said in the comments i must be able to taste the 25 kilos...WELL this morning i was a measley 100 grams of it !!! i am so determined to have a awesome loss this week...so that doctor can really blow it out his earhole ! lol My wireless connection with big pond is being a ass so i need to update it...also anyone who i havent notified...my new email address is karyn_h@bigpond.com

Okies time to get off the puter ! bye all !

PS i think im gonna email kerry phelps too ! a sister ! LOL

I also forgot to say ive been messaging with a couple of girls at the pink sofa...

well blah im sick. Just a lil off colour. Of to the docs in a couple of hours and im gonna get them to look at my heel again, anyway as im sick im obviously not going tonite. But I did sign up for full membership at pink sofa and i will make attempts to chat to some local people :)

I weighed in lost 500 grams...so im back at a total loss of 24.5 kilos. And tomorrow morning i am off to the gym. Not a lot else to say,,,, enjoy your weekend all

mmmmmmmm i love mexican !!!!! LOL me n tania went out for dinner last nite and we ended up going to Montezumas a mexican restuarant here...so yummii prolly not what i really should have eaten but it was a good nite so im all happy (gotta love that cheese dip eh tania? lol) i weighed this morning and the scales still looking pretty good. And i am off to curves this afternoon so not too concerned. And after curves i then have to dash off to do the grocery shopping so busy busy nite tonite...BUT the good news is....... tomorrow friday ! OMG i so cannot wait to sleep in till 8am ish on saturday morning. I am seriously contemplating on going out with grrls from the pink sofa friday nite...talked about it last nite with tania and she gave me lots of good reasons why i should do it this weekend...so big decisions...hopefully i wont chicken out (but heh prolly will knowing me !)

Okies im offfffffffffffffff

its a gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood day ! OKies i normally weigh myself around 9am but this morning i weighed myself at 5.45am and wo0ot i was 146.6 kilos...and tonite....lemme say i was under that ! i wont say how much but i am confident of a solid loss this week. Work was great i really love doing the acting team leader role hopefully i get more opportunities.

Anyway then i went to curves...and by their scales...in the last 6 weeks ive lost 5.1 kilos and 2.6% body fat. And heres what i lost in centimetres in the last 6 weeks :

Bust : 3cms
Waist : 4cm
Abdomen : 6 cms
Thighs : 1cm
Arms : 2cm

So since January 29 Ive lost a total of 28 centimetres (11.11 inches) so i am very very happy. My legs and feet are aching so im going to go eat my dinner and put my feet up while watching biggest loser...enjoy all !

Isnt it funny when u come to conclusions and get thinking when you dont even realise your doing it? I was watching biggest loser and aparet from the fact i was in awe of their losses...i was watching their training and thinking about how variable it is...doing lots of different things. I got to thinking why arent i getting big losses at the moment? And why am i leaving my curves membership hanging? There is a big part of me that thinks i need the variety that classes would offer but i also think that at the moment I couldnt cope with them. But i want to decide one way or the other what to do about my curves membership. So the decision is...back to curves tomorrow. I will make sure they weigh and measure me and i want to give it 6 solid weeks so to take me thru to the end of May. I WILL go 3 days a week EVERY week...then at the end i will look at my results...i want to have lost 6 kilos in this time...so i want to be at 140.9 kilos by May 28...if i can sit here and say i did go 3 times every week and did stick to my food plan as is...then its gonna be time to increase the exercise and possibly look at fernwood with a personal trainer. Okies thats my decision of the day LOL...so theres my challenge to me...now time to put it into action...ni ni all =]

Well...its a good good day. Yesterday i made more scrolls (snap tania !) altho i cooked them a lil too much but gave most to mum. Last nite we went out to the pub for dinner then went and played the pokies (slots for all u yanks) and initially i put in $10 and lost it...then my stepdad won like $140 so he gave me like $8 in change and wackado - i got it up to $29.00 altho i only took out $20 but still i was in front so all was good.

Now time for my confession...i didnt go to the bbq...i can just see tania rolling her eyes...and yes im a big ole chicken....and this afternoon im mad at myself i didnt go. i did wake up a lil late but if i wanted to i coulda got going and made it on time. Im gonna email the organiser in a bit and apologise but tell him i still wanna participate. i really do need to step out of my comfort zones. All these kind of opportunities open up to me and i always wriggle out of them...friday nite all the grrls from pink sofa are going to the wheatsheaf hotel to meet up and even tho i know most dont know each other i know i wont have the guts to go. Even tho this is what i want to meet others...specially from the lesbian lifestyle...i was talking to my friend jody just this week saying how this is what i want yet i get opportunities and i dont take them up,,,,blah

Ok on to some good news...i walked ! i walked for 25 minutes....and my heel is fine....so i wont walk tomorrow but tuesday ill try another walk =]

Tomorrow after work im gonna stop at coles...and pick up some groceries..cos i found my book 5 of annette syms and gonna do some more baking. Think i will try a cake this time...one of the books has a chocolate cake. I need to point it and see if i can figure it into my daily points...okies off i go.

Well i weighed in and the news wasnt TOO bad....i gained 500 grams and considering i got TOM today i am not too concerned. I know ive been good. hopefully a few days will pass and ill get rid of whatever fluid.

omg kevin crease died ! i so did not realise this (sorry all non adelaidians who have no idea who im talking about) very sad...

Well 3.5 hours and im on a weekend. cant wait for these two days off. Tomorrow morning i have some graphics i MUST get done. then in the afternoon gonna make a couple of batches of savoury scrolls (mum wants a batch) and a big batch of fried rice, so some nice easy meals next week. Sat nite going out to dinner and then sunday have the feast bbq..so a nice weekend...busy without being flatout. And then next week i finish work at 3.30pm every day...always nice to have some early finishes. My heel is still improving...i am walking flat on it all the time which is a huge improvement for me.

Okies not too much else to say...enjoy ur weekend all !

I was coming home from work tonite was listening to the radio and it was old SANFL footballers who played footy during the war, and how their whole life they had been about pleasing everyone else, and it only is now that they got into 70's or so that they finally start please themselves. And we all do it i think. I know this week as ive got on the scales each morning...and theyve been going up...even tho i know its cos i have got TOM due and due to fluid...and i was stretched over what? The fact on friday i mite have to write in here i had a gain...even tho it hasnt messed with my head or deterred me from my journey but just so completely concerned about what the people who see that gain on my site will think. So will weigh in tomorrow...record it and keep going at least it hasnt messed with my head and the ole scales. I rang today and rsvp'd for the feast bbq today - so no getting out of it now !

My book i been reading "love in a torn land" i will prolly finish tonite its the one about the lady who her and her hubby escape from iraw in 1987 when saddam ordered his cousin "chemical ali" to release chemical bombs. Was a really hard read,,,,but so very interesting. I didnt understand before all the history with the kurdish people. Funny how in the book her husband back in 1987 said to her "there is no way Saddam will die peacefully in his sleep"

Tomorrows friday ! YAY a weekend ! cant wait...have a good weekend all...will update my weight tomorrow =]

Well OMG if you love a good aussie meat pie you have to make annette syms "meat and potato pie" out of book 3. Tastes just like one...im amazed...and super filling which is always a bonus. I did 1 mile of the brisk walk on the walk away the pounds dvd today...and been super good. Played in a gammon tourney before work today and won...which is always nice lol. OMG and i ran 16 lengths of my hallway last nite...i RAN...its not that big a distance really but omg took a long time to catch my breath in the end but felt good its another step forward...ok not much else to say...cheersssssssssssssssssssss

Well i made the savoury scrolls today soooooooooooooooooooooooo yummii anyone who has annette syms 3rd book who likes savoury stuff needs to make em yum yum yum im making a potato and meat pie for dinner tonite. I took a photo of the scrolls lol ill add em at the bottom of the post. Don't they look yummii????

Tania emailed me and she is gonna smack me over the back off my head if i dont go to the feast bbq on sunday. Been busy today washing and cleaning...damn no rest for the wicked ! About to go do my walk away the pounds dvd and OMG remember i been saying about the planteritis (the heel pain) well last wednesday i bought some inner soles for my shoes they push ur foot in the right position. Anyway when i limp a fair amount of the day and when i first wake i simply cant put wait on my heel...well i woke in the middle of the nite and walked to the bathroom and then stopped - i was walking on my foot flat !!! all my weight was on it....and ive felt a lil pain all day but its hugely better ! im so hoping this is a good sign....

Okies im off to do my dvd ! enjoy all

Well back at work again today...i really dont like working till as late as 11.30pm as i am tonight but its nice having time before i go to work. I woke and ate hotcross buns then bad me while wwatching one of my crime shows i ate the egg i bought myseflf. Then i felt incredibly bloated and gross so i only had a fruit scroll for lunch. And have bought my cheesy tuna pasta for dinner whcih is low points for a huge bowl and i have a banana and mandarin to have after, so i will be well under on points. I love those crime shows the one i watched today was about a gay guy in sydney who got murdered in the 80's...who left his will to his past lover...but someone else forged a will...started spending money and then killed the guy who the will got left too...was quite a tangled mess lol.

I then went online chatted to a couple of friends i havent seen for a couple of months and then played in a gammon tourney.

Tomorrow i am off and planning a day of baking, going to make some more fruit scrolls and also some savoury ones, and a potato and meat pie and a big batch of fried rice...so lots of healthy stuff for during the week.

OMG AND im wearing the shirt today that Ang left here. So about 3.5 years ago wooo hoooo slowly getting there !!!

okies off to do some more work i go - enjoy all =]

Well just got home from work. Has been quite good today and last nite...not too busy .... which has been a nice break (kinda nice when u getting penaltiies)

Tonight at work...i was on the phone...sensed a commotion and i turned around and there was one of the guys being wheeled out by ambulance drivers on a stretcher. A 29 year old whose been to the hospital several times with chest pain and shortness of breath. Its amazing that i lasted till 38 years old with no major illness. Now at 39...and another 9 months till i turn 40...and i so never want to be wheeled out of work on a stretcher. Im so glad that i started getting healthy i mean im still over weight so still pressure on my heart....but i dont eat crap food no more so thats a relief.

I was reading the oprah magazine the other day and she did a story on journalling and how important it is for weight loss....how it can play such a important part of getting in the right head space. And we all know how mentality helps.

Well its getting late....and im working tomorrow...so i wanna just go and curl up n get some zzzzzzzzzzzzz's....

ni ni all !

OMG i had big news and i completely forgot and this big news happened like 2 days ago ! lol and i just realised apart from my gertilicious friend jody i had not told my fabulous site visitors or my family this news (altho i doubt mum would be too keen to hear about this LOL)

The volunteer organisation i applied too for volunteering with for the feast this year (the gay n lesbian festival for the month of november thats held in Adelaide each year) --- well the first meet and greet for all the volunteers is next weekend. Its a sausgae sizzle in Rymill Park...its basically just to meet everyone. Hopefully i dont get nervous and back out (i have a tendancy to do that with things like this lol) with these kind of situations i always tend to get into the whole tendancy of thinking EVERYONE else is going to judge my size. But thats not really fair for me to decide that others are judging me. When i get down to it im popular at work and theres no reason for me not to meet and make friends thru feast. Tania if i back out smack me over the back of the head or something since we will be meeting for dinner a few nites later...lol. I also "somehow" got put in charge of organising a get together with my old team...a number of people have left the company and the rest of us are spread out. So one of the gurls has offered we have it at her house as a type of house warming party...and now i have to figure out a date when most of us have a weekend off (if u knew our rosters you would know what a ardious task that will be) and then notifying everyone...and at least one person doesnt have access to emails. So gonna be very interesting. But that should be in mid to late May sometime...and i tell u right now...that nite im gonna be drinking champagne !!!! My old team leader Megan who resigned back in january and last time i saw her was in mide january...was always really supportive of my weight loss so it will be really good to see if she notices much of a difference...okies thats all...im still on a high over this weeks loss !!!

PS i have come to realise a lot of our friends over the pond (ie americans) read this site...so...so that you know my current loss is a total of 53 pounds - yay me !!!!

Well the HUGE news is ----- 2.2 kilos !!!! im ecstatic...it puts me at 146.4 kilos and my total loss is 24.5 kilos...........so close to the 25 kilos mark ! So for the 4 weeks since i left ww meetings ive lost 4.1 kilos and 9cm around my waist. Amazing how one loss can just completely get your head in the right head space. Im glad that ive had a good loss too whilst doing a lot of baking at home. i go back to work this afternoon...blah 2.30pm shift on a friday...hopefully as it is a public holiday it will be quiet...and of course great money !!! LOL Oh n tania i made the mars bar slice....yummmi

LATER

Well what started out as a good day has changed a lil....came to work...to be told the team leader i have had a lot of problems with in the past is going to be my team leader again *ugh* not happy jan...my current team leader isnt here at the moment but i will have a talk to him about it on sunday. The one piece of good news was...whilst i was away they had a reward and recognition day....and i apparantly recieved a reward (apparantly a $50 voucher to david jones or myers) but will find out more when my team leader is in on sunday

wow cant believe only 2 days of my vacation left. This morning i finally got my dsl switched over to bigpond...so my email addy will change ill email everyone next week once i know the new one is up and running...temporarily if anyone needs to contact please use karyn_h@optusnet.com.au...its only a temporary one as reckon my current one will close by thursday. I also got a wireless modem so im happy happy.

I cooked tonight...made some mediteranean pasta sauce from out of the symply good to be true book...and i also made some fruit scrolls yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so tasty. The scrolls worked out to 2 points each. And are beyond yummy and took no time to make and so cheap to make. Tomorrow im gonna look for some lite mars bars so i can make the mars bar slice out of her book. The mediteranean sauce was yummy too

Okies im off !!!! Enjoy all =]

Well i think a entry is well overdue. A entry ive been putting off since friday. Well weighed and gained 1.3 kilos....and i can completely say all my own doing. I was upset friday thought it musta been the scales...not me...took my measurements i had lost 2cm around my waist but still gained 1.3 kilos. I thought back and there were prolly somethings i shouldnt have eaten (light peanut butter is not THAT light lol) Anyway the last few days i had been better and i have lost 200 grams since then so i am gonna use todays weight which is 148.4 kilos. But after giving it lots of thought i started to realise i was getting into vacation mode not only from work but also from weight loss. I talked to mum on the phone and by the time i hung up i had realised in the last couple of weeks i have prolly lost some focus. So its time (yet again) to get serious....whilst on the phone mum told me she picked up a video of yoga...and this week when i go shopping i will pick up one or two more exercise ones (mite have to check out ebay some by jillian would be really good) i also have the walk away the pounds one. Anyway so i hung up the phone came out did 50 steps on the stepper followed by 50 arm punches followed by 15 touch the ground and stretch...followed by 50 steps on the stepper and 50 arm punches and the heart rate was really going, later today i will do the 1 mile walk on the walk away the pounds. I think a big thing is i need variety in the exexercises. Curves bores me at the moment to be honest so while for the moment im still paying im not attending but i really need to be consistent at home. So the plan is :

monday (today) 1 mile walk on the walk away the pounds
tuesday my pilates video + 100 steps on the stepper
wednesday dancing to music for 30 minutes
thursday 1 mile walk with 100 steps on the stepper

im also hoping to buy some innersoles for my shoes this week which should help me with my heel problem...if that does help i will start to incorporate walks in my day. I think i need to start committing plans for exercise and putting them down in my journal (thanks claudia i got that idea from your journal) so i will start doing that and sticking to it...and if i dont someone kick me in the ass i need the occassional kick LOL.

But whilst im being tuff on myself (dont worry im not feeling down or nothing quite the opposite) i realised today i am about to start into the 9th month of this weight loss. Sure id like the weight loss to have been more at this point but i just gotta keep at it...and 8 full months is sure as heck the longest ive stuck to healthy lifestyle...i also need to remember im getting older LOL and my body and metabolism wont be as good as it once was plus the pcos...so whilst i need to buckle down im still doing pretty good...all considered...okies off to do some laundry need to slowly start preparing for going back to work LOL =]