Exercise

The fact I have taken this gym break has been quite a bit on my mind....let me explain....cos some things have occurred to me.....

Before I trained with Fiona I joined fernwood several times....and obviously quit several times LOL. I didnt enjoy it, it felt like a chore. Then i lucked out with fiona and i was consistent for 3.5 years which i seriously a good deal of that i credit to fiona...and how we clicked. I was very lucky...I dont know if i even truly appreciated fiona as much as I should have at the time. Since fiona left the gym...ive had a number of trainers. With fiona i was very lucky....we not only clicked...but she took a lot of queues from me for how we trained....and she was so flexible with times for training me. While i have had trainers since then who have all been very nice....I havent clicked with them the way I did with fiona.

When I trained with fiona....i remember telling her i didnt like the gym....and we tried to focus on me just not hating the gym. I didnt do anything but a short workout and my PT sessions and it was prolly 1.5-2 years before I went and did classes etc.

I remember even when i got down to 79 kilos and i registered for a boot camp i went to one session and hated it. I remember we had to do like these 20 metre sprints and every time i was the slowest...by a LOT. I hated it...even tho I was small i pretty much sucked!

Catch up to recent times...I have been over the last few years gaining weight. As much as I felt over place at 79 kilos...you can only imagine how out of place I feel now. The gym i was going to caters to office workers...most of the people are smallish and youngish. Not that there is no one around my age....but from what I see they are few and far between....plus i just feel like i am the fattest person there. I signed up for group PT....and all the girls were youngish and smallish and fit. And then there is me....48 years old OBESE woman...and in my head i am just thinking....wtf am i doing here...i dont belong. The gym has become a point of anxiety...there is the travel issue...but i simply just feel out of my element.

SO....that leaves me with what I am going to do now. Yanno....i took the anxiety of the gym off me....and suddenly....im sticking to weight watchers like a champ. End of day 4 and i have only used THREE weekly points. I just think removing the anxiety may be helping me mentally, all im thinking now is all i need to do is focus on my eating.

My thought for the future in relationship to exercise is this. My "fitness goals" is get back to running and maybe the stair climbing. Thats what I enjoyed. While I quite like lifting weights and I know its good for you....its not my focus. So come august/september i will start walking around the lake near work 4 or 5 days a week. I dont think i will join a gym till i get under 100 kilos. Whilst i was thinking about joining a 24/7 gym...when i do return to a gym i will want to do PT (cos thats what i respond to best) and then i will do weights.

I know people are prolly thinking noooooooooo you need to be doing weights NOW. If by not attending a gym at the moment....keeps me sticking to my points then i am all for it until i get down to double digits.

I did jump on the scales this morning....and they have gone down further...so was 126.9 this morning.

Oh and I bought a fitbit blaze! super excited to use it - its currently charging and updating :)

So thats it! Enjoy all :)