Things are changing. I know im obese still...i even know my thighs and hips are still very large...yet at the same time i am starting to get im not the same person from 4 years ago. Lately theres been a calmness over me...partly i think because the prospect of the surgery was on my mind for close to a year i feel a sense of relief that is over...also there was someone in my life who was full on drama...i seem to have got that person out of my life and that is simply adding to my calmness. I kinda like me these days. When i started to lose weight 4 years ago there was a couple of reasons for it...one was to stop being sick all the time and two was to avoid being confined to my home at some point...another big one was to meet someone and have a relationship. For a long time i still wanted that relationship...but i was also aware that if i got involved with anyone it was quite likely i wouldnt stay on track. So for that reason i have been grateful for the fact i have been single. Tonite i was suppose to go out...i went shopping for something to wear this morning...i have got a throbbing headache...but i also wasnt keen once i realised people would have nibblies at it. Barbeques, parties etc anywhere were there is nibblies i cave in...its definitely my weak spot....and i have been doing so good lately...this will be the 7th week in a row with a loss if i lose this week...i am so focussed on getting to double digits...i seriously cant chance a week being stuffed up. Getting to double digits is a big deal for me...i have seen soooooooooooo many people on the WW forum hit that great phase of their journey so many times...and i am truly happy for every person who did it...but yanno its time now...i want that to be me...i so cannot wait till i see only 2 digits before the decimel point on the scale...and i fully believe if i stay 100% focussed between now and xmas i will do it....and i really cant think of a better xmas present. Several years ago a doctor told me "the most you can expect is to hit 100 kilos" so its important to get there by xmas...and to start the new year off fresh with the next goal of hitting 76 kilos by next xmas. The realisation too is by how quickly i got over the surgery, by how stunned fiona has been at how quickly i got back into it...my manager even said yesterday you bounced back so quickly and look so good :)

The clothes i bought today are super cute (in my mind anyway lol) i bought a lil ruffled green top....and a really nice short sleeved black cardigan. I am going out for dinner in about 3 weeks time so i will prolly wear it then and of course i will take a pic then. I also got a lorna jane top from ebay...was size medium...it fits but fits tight...hopefully by the time im in double digits i can wear it.

Today i did a big gym session...PT session of boxing...week 1 day 1 of C25k then about another 20 minutes of slow walking on the treadmill and then a 60 minute body balance class...lots of new stuff in it today but i really enjoyed it. Tomorrow they are starting sunday classes at the gym so i am going in...so 30 minutes of body jam and 30 minutes of chiball. Here is a description of chiball "The ChiBall Method is a mind-body exercise and wellness programme that has its foundation in Traditional Chinese Medicine. Combined with the elements of colour and aromatherapy. ChiBall takes you on a journey of mindful movement which results in a return to harmony, balance and well-being." Sounds like a good class and something very unique...im sure i will let you all know tomorrow what i think of it.

Ok me and my calmness are off...ive got the 1st series of big bang theory to watch :)