I have been a lil absent of late...not just on this blog....but no weight loss/fitness talk on instagram/fb etc either.
As it turns out I have been sick. I had laryngitis & pharyngitis and whilst most of that is gone...I still have a hoarse voice and a cough which just wont quit.
Its been hard....getting thru my days. I cough so much its tiring....and as I work in a call centre...talking with a hoarse voice is super tiring as well.
So the gym has not been possible :( its been over 3 weeks since I have done any form of exercise. (Even a small walk to a different room in the house and I am coughing)
I am currently into week 4 of this illness and my doctor has told me it could be up to 8 weeks till i am over this. During the second week (which was when I was SUPPOSE to go to sydney) I got very disappointed. Disappointed I couldnt make the trip and that it felt like my weight loss was on hold. So I did have a couple of days of track. They werent binges....but i wasnt on track. I had got down to 113.5 kilos and ended up back at 117.5 kilos.
Since then I have been sticking to the eating plan but not drinking all my water (Im just plain too tired) and sucking on a LOT of soothers everyday.
Anyway I went to my doc on friday night (he knows my weight loss history) and told him I need to be able to stop relying on the soothers as its too many calories. So I am already taking somac ( for silent reflux) and ventolin, but also now he put me on another puffer called tilade and to help minimise the cough I am now taking panadeine forte 3 times a day. When I had a cough that lasted about 3 months in 2014 i took the same thing to help. So far today no lozenges :) The only problem with panadeine forte is i do retain fluid from it...but hopefully my body will adapt and not retain too much fluid.
Ive been very much of the attitude I guess...no exercise so not likely i can lose weight. But today Ive decided enough is enough. Going by my doctor its not likely I will be back at the gym till late august/early september...So friday I was 117.2 kilos...I am going to set a goal by the time I go back to the gym to be back at 113.5 kilos. 6 weeks to lose 3.7 kilos should hopefully be doable. It would still give me a chance to eat my year end goal of being double digits. So sticking to my plan and going back to drinking 4 litres water per day.
This is one of those points where the mentality side of weight loss is a HUGE factor. I mean it is always a huge factor but at the moment it feels a bigger part. Specially when all I really want to do is go back to the gym!!
Last night I went and saw the musical "Matilda" which was fabulous. I bought a XL ladies t shirt from it as well....it doesnt fit me yet....but its another goal :)
As i always promise i will be back posting more regularly! lol i promise! ;)
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Weight loss struggles :)
I keep promising to be better at blogging but then keep forgetting! LOL. Admittedly my computer died and I have only just bought a new one the last few days.
I did want to write a post about the struggle. I am not struggling currently - I am doing remarkbly well :) and its fabulous when you read a blog and see someone succeeding - but there is usually a significant number of people reading that blog that are searching for answers with their struggling.
Now, I am in no way saying I have the answers. I have a experience and am going to talk about my own experience with struggling.
As most know I lost 94 kilos between 2006-2011. Life was great. I felt fit (altho admittedly I was definitely over exercising). My goal was to get to 76 kilos...I got to 79 kilos and after months of being stuck there I decided that was my number and I was going to stop losing weight.
So if you are going into "maintenance" surely you have a plan right? Nope. No plan. My only plan was to be "normal" and just eat. Over the next 6 months or so I gained about 7 kilos back but I was still pretty happy with where I was at, but there was definitely some guilt starting in the back of my mind.
Then life decided to smack me in the face. Mum passed away, then 3 months later I broke my wrist (probably the biggest factor in losing my motivation), a good friend passed away and then my house was broken into - all in a matter of 13 months.
Weight loss became a minor priority. I was still going to the gym (altho the trainer I had at the time was a hinderance more then anything) my eating was getting more and more out of control. The more it got out of control and the bigger I got - the more negative feelings I had about myself. I was not only suddenly over 100 kilos, but I had gone from the confident "i love my life" person to a person filled with guilt, feeling ashamed and humiliated.
I really hated the person I was becoming and how I felt. My fitness was slowly going downhill, I started stepping away from my friends, social media - everything! I remember one night going thru my facebook and deleting over 100 people of it! As most know ... when you lose weight/gain weight ...the more you hide....the bigger you become. When eating and tv watching is your solace...there is no where to go then for the scales to go up!
So how did I get myself back on track? Honestly there was no step by step plan...but looking back now I can see how I managed to do it.
Initially it started with me acknowledging that i was humiliated/embarrassed/ashamed....I was playing around with you tube back in those days and ended up making a video where basically I admitted it (the video no longer exists). I put it out there...that i was embarresed and humiliated. Putting it out there was the first step. I had previously been the weight loss queen...I lost my identity somewhere along the way and I just needed to admit where things stood.
I made that video over a year ago. Not long after I decided I needed a clean slate and left the gym I was going too. I decided to join a local goodlife....I had for a short period time a few years earlier attended there and even had a personal trainer. The personal trainer was great so I contacted her to see if she would train me again - thankfully she said yes :)
Initially when I went back to the gym in May 2016 I had only one goal. After 6-12 months of skipping the gym a LOT, I decided the only goal at this point was to attend the PT sessions, and only skipping the session when I was on deaths doorstep! lol I did pretty good with this. I rarely missed any sessions. WINNING.
Whilst I was doing the PT sessions I was still gaining weight. By September 2016 I hit my highest in the regain of weight of 133.6 kilos. Once again I decided to try and get myself on track. I lost a few kilos and decided to join the gyms 8 week challenge. I started it and got to about week 7 and then lost the plot. I had got down to about 123 kilos and then regained over a few weeks to 129 kilos.
A few weeks after the challenge I had a BIG chat with my trainer and we made some changes, we decided she would send me workouts for when I am in the gym when I am there for no PT session, we would weigh weekly and I would try and get back on track (this was around December 18 2016)
I kinds got on track. It was xmas time after all. So by January 1 I was down to 126.1 kilos. At this time I decided to do the gyms 12 week challenge which started in March, and also my trainer mentioned a company she had heard of called Equalution.
I started the 12 week challenge having lost a few more calories. I was pumped. I had the meal plan and followed it to a T. That first week I lost 3 kilos (woo hoo) but over the next 3 weeks I was slowly gaining it back. I was SO frustrated. I knew I was eating what I was told to eat, I knew I was exercising - but in all honesty just wasnt feeling this eating program was right for me.
I felt I needed a program that was quite specific in telling me what to eat but I knew I needed to eat foods I enjoy. For a few months I had been researching Equalution. I read thru their entire facebook page, checked out the #equalution hash tag on instagram and read thru their website. My gut instinct was to try Equalution but it was expensive and I wasnt positive it would work for me. But then one morning I woke and knew it was what I needed to try. So i messaged my trainer and told her my plan, and signed up for Equalution.
I can now say (I am on week 14) without a doubt it has been the best decision i have EVER made.
Prior to equalution I was very restrictive with my food, eating low calories, not eating grains in the evenings, not eating processed meats, not eating asian sauces, restricting dairy (specifically cheese), vigilantly monitoring my sodium.
I never felt satisfied. I was always hungry and looking for new ways I could fit more foods into my limited calorie budget. I would often eat well for a few days and then binge.
I decided on a thursday to start Equalution the following monday and in the two days before that I definitely binged. From memory it was pizza, garlic bread, chips, and chocolate.
I started on that monday morning March 20. From my very first day I have never felt a inclination to go off track (trust me this has NEVER happened to me before), I was eating yummy foods, healthy and considered not so healthy. I noticed not only was I losing on the scales and centimetres I was developing a better relationship with food. I wasnt worried when something was high in sodium or wasnt concerned when I ate pasta in the evening :) Things were going great and continue to go great.
So how did I get back on track in the end? I identified the "emotional issue" that was preventing me of being productive and proactive, I got the exercise in check and then I eventually found what worked for me nutrition wise. What works for me wont necessarily work for you - thats the most important thing - find what works for you (from the girl who was previously considering weight loss surgery!)
I did want to write a post about the struggle. I am not struggling currently - I am doing remarkbly well :) and its fabulous when you read a blog and see someone succeeding - but there is usually a significant number of people reading that blog that are searching for answers with their struggling.
Now, I am in no way saying I have the answers. I have a experience and am going to talk about my own experience with struggling.
As most know I lost 94 kilos between 2006-2011. Life was great. I felt fit (altho admittedly I was definitely over exercising). My goal was to get to 76 kilos...I got to 79 kilos and after months of being stuck there I decided that was my number and I was going to stop losing weight.
So if you are going into "maintenance" surely you have a plan right? Nope. No plan. My only plan was to be "normal" and just eat. Over the next 6 months or so I gained about 7 kilos back but I was still pretty happy with where I was at, but there was definitely some guilt starting in the back of my mind.
Then life decided to smack me in the face. Mum passed away, then 3 months later I broke my wrist (probably the biggest factor in losing my motivation), a good friend passed away and then my house was broken into - all in a matter of 13 months.
Weight loss became a minor priority. I was still going to the gym (altho the trainer I had at the time was a hinderance more then anything) my eating was getting more and more out of control. The more it got out of control and the bigger I got - the more negative feelings I had about myself. I was not only suddenly over 100 kilos, but I had gone from the confident "i love my life" person to a person filled with guilt, feeling ashamed and humiliated.
I really hated the person I was becoming and how I felt. My fitness was slowly going downhill, I started stepping away from my friends, social media - everything! I remember one night going thru my facebook and deleting over 100 people of it! As most know ... when you lose weight/gain weight ...the more you hide....the bigger you become. When eating and tv watching is your solace...there is no where to go then for the scales to go up!
So how did I get myself back on track? Honestly there was no step by step plan...but looking back now I can see how I managed to do it.
Initially it started with me acknowledging that i was humiliated/embarrassed/ashamed....I was playing around with you tube back in those days and ended up making a video where basically I admitted it (the video no longer exists). I put it out there...that i was embarresed and humiliated. Putting it out there was the first step. I had previously been the weight loss queen...I lost my identity somewhere along the way and I just needed to admit where things stood.
I made that video over a year ago. Not long after I decided I needed a clean slate and left the gym I was going too. I decided to join a local goodlife....I had for a short period time a few years earlier attended there and even had a personal trainer. The personal trainer was great so I contacted her to see if she would train me again - thankfully she said yes :)
Initially when I went back to the gym in May 2016 I had only one goal. After 6-12 months of skipping the gym a LOT, I decided the only goal at this point was to attend the PT sessions, and only skipping the session when I was on deaths doorstep! lol I did pretty good with this. I rarely missed any sessions. WINNING.
Whilst I was doing the PT sessions I was still gaining weight. By September 2016 I hit my highest in the regain of weight of 133.6 kilos. Once again I decided to try and get myself on track. I lost a few kilos and decided to join the gyms 8 week challenge. I started it and got to about week 7 and then lost the plot. I had got down to about 123 kilos and then regained over a few weeks to 129 kilos.
A few weeks after the challenge I had a BIG chat with my trainer and we made some changes, we decided she would send me workouts for when I am in the gym when I am there for no PT session, we would weigh weekly and I would try and get back on track (this was around December 18 2016)
I kinds got on track. It was xmas time after all. So by January 1 I was down to 126.1 kilos. At this time I decided to do the gyms 12 week challenge which started in March, and also my trainer mentioned a company she had heard of called Equalution.
I started the 12 week challenge having lost a few more calories. I was pumped. I had the meal plan and followed it to a T. That first week I lost 3 kilos (woo hoo) but over the next 3 weeks I was slowly gaining it back. I was SO frustrated. I knew I was eating what I was told to eat, I knew I was exercising - but in all honesty just wasnt feeling this eating program was right for me.
I felt I needed a program that was quite specific in telling me what to eat but I knew I needed to eat foods I enjoy. For a few months I had been researching Equalution. I read thru their entire facebook page, checked out the #equalution hash tag on instagram and read thru their website. My gut instinct was to try Equalution but it was expensive and I wasnt positive it would work for me. But then one morning I woke and knew it was what I needed to try. So i messaged my trainer and told her my plan, and signed up for Equalution.
I can now say (I am on week 14) without a doubt it has been the best decision i have EVER made.
Prior to equalution I was very restrictive with my food, eating low calories, not eating grains in the evenings, not eating processed meats, not eating asian sauces, restricting dairy (specifically cheese), vigilantly monitoring my sodium.
I never felt satisfied. I was always hungry and looking for new ways I could fit more foods into my limited calorie budget. I would often eat well for a few days and then binge.
I decided on a thursday to start Equalution the following monday and in the two days before that I definitely binged. From memory it was pizza, garlic bread, chips, and chocolate.
I started on that monday morning March 20. From my very first day I have never felt a inclination to go off track (trust me this has NEVER happened to me before), I was eating yummy foods, healthy and considered not so healthy. I noticed not only was I losing on the scales and centimetres I was developing a better relationship with food. I wasnt worried when something was high in sodium or wasnt concerned when I ate pasta in the evening :) Things were going great and continue to go great.
So how did I get back on track in the end? I identified the "emotional issue" that was preventing me of being productive and proactive, I got the exercise in check and then I eventually found what worked for me nutrition wise. What works for me wont necessarily work for you - thats the most important thing - find what works for you (from the girl who was previously considering weight loss surgery!)
Sunday, June 04, 2017
Sunday June 4 2017
So I weighed in on Friday morning and gained 500 grams taking me back to 114.5 kilos, but the girls think that is related to a increase in cortisol from returning to the gym - so all good.
While I returned to the gym this week I only did my PT sessions (slack kazz!) but this week I really need to get my chit together. I am going to try for monday-thursday then next sunday night. I must admit with it being so cold at the moment...Im not inclined to want to go to the gym...instead I just want to go home and get warm and watch TV. But this weight loss is a priority so need to get my ass into gear.
I was thinking this week about how when I gained the weight over the last 4-5 years how I "hid". I deleted a lot of people off facebook (like I am talking well over 100 in one sitting, not cos they did anything wrong but simply cos I felt humiliated). Gaining the weight was really embarrassing, and I dont think until recently I realised how much it impacted me. My blog was a big part of my journey, but then i went on a hiatus....for a long time now I have kept my facebook very locked down and only really been publicly on instagram. Its a lot easier on instagram....its a pic with a small caption. I am not sitting there writing about my journey and all the feels that come with it. But that said I think its start to come out of the social media ban more. My facebook group I deleted at the time and I have not been very active on - but want to get more active on it (If interested in following it the link is https://www.facebook.com/kazzsjourney/Kazzs Journey or simply search for "kazzs journey" on facebook. There were goals years ago...to become a personal trainer....to have a supportive website (forums etc) for people to get support on weight loss journeys especially 100+ kilos....and i would have eventually liked to do meetups in different states and maybe even NZ too...those goals have been dormant for a LONG time! I didnt even realise those goals were still there. At the moment my focus is on me....and getting back to a healthy weight....but they are definitely goals that are way more in the forefront of my brain. (Maybe even a ebook about my journey down the path?) So yes I plan to be a lot more prominant on facebook...instagram....and maybe at some point you tube.
Tomorrow I am off and will be spending most of the day watching my niece play netball as part of sapsasa. Its so cold here I think I am gonna have to rug up super warm! I will also be taking my meals and snacks...so no going off track. Interestingly since I started doing Equalution (I am in week 12) I have only eating lunch out once...(and that day I forgot my chicken for the day) every other day has been a lunch I have prepped at home and have only eaten dinner out twice....I think both these things have helped me with my losses (cos lets face it I am not a speedy loser!)
So if you want to follow me on any social media here is how you can find me:
My Fitness Pal : My username is itskazzsjourney
Facebook: The url is https://www.facebook.com/kazzsjourney/
Instagram: My username is kazzsjourney
Right off to do some work :)
While I returned to the gym this week I only did my PT sessions (slack kazz!) but this week I really need to get my chit together. I am going to try for monday-thursday then next sunday night. I must admit with it being so cold at the moment...Im not inclined to want to go to the gym...instead I just want to go home and get warm and watch TV. But this weight loss is a priority so need to get my ass into gear.
I was thinking this week about how when I gained the weight over the last 4-5 years how I "hid". I deleted a lot of people off facebook (like I am talking well over 100 in one sitting, not cos they did anything wrong but simply cos I felt humiliated). Gaining the weight was really embarrassing, and I dont think until recently I realised how much it impacted me. My blog was a big part of my journey, but then i went on a hiatus....for a long time now I have kept my facebook very locked down and only really been publicly on instagram. Its a lot easier on instagram....its a pic with a small caption. I am not sitting there writing about my journey and all the feels that come with it. But that said I think its start to come out of the social media ban more. My facebook group I deleted at the time and I have not been very active on - but want to get more active on it (If interested in following it the link is https://www.facebook.com/kazzsjourney/Kazzs Journey or simply search for "kazzs journey" on facebook. There were goals years ago...to become a personal trainer....to have a supportive website (forums etc) for people to get support on weight loss journeys especially 100+ kilos....and i would have eventually liked to do meetups in different states and maybe even NZ too...those goals have been dormant for a LONG time! I didnt even realise those goals were still there. At the moment my focus is on me....and getting back to a healthy weight....but they are definitely goals that are way more in the forefront of my brain. (Maybe even a ebook about my journey down the path?) So yes I plan to be a lot more prominant on facebook...instagram....and maybe at some point you tube.
Tomorrow I am off and will be spending most of the day watching my niece play netball as part of sapsasa. Its so cold here I think I am gonna have to rug up super warm! I will also be taking my meals and snacks...so no going off track. Interestingly since I started doing Equalution (I am in week 12) I have only eating lunch out once...(and that day I forgot my chicken for the day) every other day has been a lunch I have prepped at home and have only eaten dinner out twice....I think both these things have helped me with my losses (cos lets face it I am not a speedy loser!)
So if you want to follow me on any social media here is how you can find me:
My Fitness Pal : My username is itskazzsjourney
Facebook: The url is https://www.facebook.com/kazzsjourney/
Instagram: My username is kazzsjourney
Right off to do some work :)
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Update :) May 28 2017
I swear everytime I update this blog its a case of "Been forever since I posted" lol I am such a slack blogger ;)
My weight loss is going good. As of my weigh in on friday I was down to 114 kilos :) Late September last year I was 133.6 kilos and on January 1 I was 126.1 kilos so super happy with that number. My goal of being double digits this year is certainly do able,
I am still doing flexible dieting thru Equalution and it is going very well. Exercise wise tho I haven't been 100% the last 10 days or so, so apart from the occassional walk I haven't done any exercise for about 10 days. But back to it all tomorrow. The weight loss has stalled the last week or so which I am putting down to lack of exercise so hopefully that will start progressing again.
I am also still eating 2000 calories a day...so losing while eating this much is great. I must admit tho I drink a LOT of water LOL....5 litres per day to be exact :)
Its funny when you gain weight (for me anyway) I stop caring...like watching tv and pigging out on food is the priority and things like taking care of myself, my home, socialising etc they all take a back seat. And its funny especially the last few weeks I have noticed I am wanting to get my life more on track.
My hair has not been cut for months (not since last october)...the eyebrows have not been waxed....I have not bought many clothes. I have been saying for like a year I need a new mattress....and I have neglected any thoughts of getting out there dating and socialising.
So I have been back on pink sofa and also another site called zoosk. For once I have been actually messaging some girls. I would like to make some friends...as well as maybe start having the occassional date. Of course then when I start to think about dating....well the house needs thoughts. I dont have a dining room table (and really no room for one) but I dont even have a coffee table...IF i did date someone how could I invite them over for dinner? lol I need a coffee table at least...I want to brighten the house up....get a new mattress (lol)....just sort of get my chit together lol.
So next week I will organise a hair dressers appointment and will try and get my eyebrows waxed tomorrow :)
I do get my bonus from work shortly....so some of that will be used for "getting my chit together" lol
Its also just over 5 weeks till i go to Sydney! I am so excited for this trip. I am hoping by then I will be under 110 kilos....but no matter what...Ill be a lot closer to fitting nicely into a seat then the last time I flew :)
Whilst over there i have a few things planned. I am getting a Dexa scan done...I am planning to go to taronga zoo....and hoping to get some walks in as well....and the other super exciting thing is I am going to be catching up with my best friend from primary school/highschool...its about 25+ years since we have seen each other so that will be super exciting :)
Also after YEARS of not going to see musicals cos I was worried about fitting in the seats....I have booked to go see "Matilda" with a friend of mine. So we are heading off to do that on July 15.
TV show wise I am totally addicted to Wentworth....if you watch it I am so heart broken over Bridget (and have a major crush on Libby Tanner lol) ... I am also watching All Saints...which I have never seen before...definitely overdosing on Libby Tanner at the moment haha :)
So back to the gym tomorrow...I will have a PT session. Time to knuckle down!
My weight loss is going good. As of my weigh in on friday I was down to 114 kilos :) Late September last year I was 133.6 kilos and on January 1 I was 126.1 kilos so super happy with that number. My goal of being double digits this year is certainly do able,
I am still doing flexible dieting thru Equalution and it is going very well. Exercise wise tho I haven't been 100% the last 10 days or so, so apart from the occassional walk I haven't done any exercise for about 10 days. But back to it all tomorrow. The weight loss has stalled the last week or so which I am putting down to lack of exercise so hopefully that will start progressing again.
I am also still eating 2000 calories a day...so losing while eating this much is great. I must admit tho I drink a LOT of water LOL....5 litres per day to be exact :)
Its funny when you gain weight (for me anyway) I stop caring...like watching tv and pigging out on food is the priority and things like taking care of myself, my home, socialising etc they all take a back seat. And its funny especially the last few weeks I have noticed I am wanting to get my life more on track.
My hair has not been cut for months (not since last october)...the eyebrows have not been waxed....I have not bought many clothes. I have been saying for like a year I need a new mattress....and I have neglected any thoughts of getting out there dating and socialising.
So I have been back on pink sofa and also another site called zoosk. For once I have been actually messaging some girls. I would like to make some friends...as well as maybe start having the occassional date. Of course then when I start to think about dating....well the house needs thoughts. I dont have a dining room table (and really no room for one) but I dont even have a coffee table...IF i did date someone how could I invite them over for dinner? lol I need a coffee table at least...I want to brighten the house up....get a new mattress (lol)....just sort of get my chit together lol.
So next week I will organise a hair dressers appointment and will try and get my eyebrows waxed tomorrow :)
I do get my bonus from work shortly....so some of that will be used for "getting my chit together" lol
Its also just over 5 weeks till i go to Sydney! I am so excited for this trip. I am hoping by then I will be under 110 kilos....but no matter what...Ill be a lot closer to fitting nicely into a seat then the last time I flew :)
Whilst over there i have a few things planned. I am getting a Dexa scan done...I am planning to go to taronga zoo....and hoping to get some walks in as well....and the other super exciting thing is I am going to be catching up with my best friend from primary school/highschool...its about 25+ years since we have seen each other so that will be super exciting :)
Also after YEARS of not going to see musicals cos I was worried about fitting in the seats....I have booked to go see "Matilda" with a friend of mine. So we are heading off to do that on July 15.
TV show wise I am totally addicted to Wentworth....if you watch it I am so heart broken over Bridget (and have a major crush on Libby Tanner lol) ... I am also watching All Saints...which I have never seen before...definitely overdosing on Libby Tanner at the moment haha :)
So back to the gym tomorrow...I will have a PT session. Time to knuckle down!
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Business end of easter :)
Happy easter all!
I have done superwell and hit a new low this morning of 116.8 kilos - amazing!
I love how well I am currently doing. Which I put mostly down to doing "iifym" - otherwise known as "if it fits in your macros". I think I previously mentioned I go thru a company called Equalution. They have me on high calories (2100 cals a day). They give me a meal plan each week which is pretty high in protein but also incorporates things like home made chicken burgers, pizza, chicken carbonara - which I love I just dont have a desire at all to go off track. And each week I can tell them of any "food requests" which they incorporate into my meal plan. Like this week being Easter I asked them to incorporate hot cross buns....so I have had a hot cross bun with butter each day...completely guilt free which has allowed me to participate in the same thing as my co workers and not feel I am missing out.
Its been really free-ing. After years of micromanaging my nutrition....having a certain number of grain free meals per day, watching my sodium, cutting out certain products and only going for "healthy options" when eating out....I am getting that in moderation no food is bad.
The other week I went out for dinner so they did what they call a "social adjustment" - so I basically sent them a menu of the restuarant I was going too, told them what I would prefer to have and they worked out my days eating - by dinner time that night I am eating half a 12 inch bbq chicken pizza :)
So yes its all going well...I had hot cross buns....i had a few bits of chocolate...I really cannot complain....and at the business end of the easter weekend i am very happy.
Mentally I am in a good place as well. As i gained the weight between 2013-2016 i really felt a lot of shame. I was the "weight loss queen" an inspiration to so many and then suddenly I lost it and was a obese woman lacking control. I am still classified as obese but I dont feel obese. I am active. Really starting to make progress with my fitness and strength. I eat well...binge free...and have a real good nice balance of moderation.
At this age I have also realised so much the importance of health. I am 49 its prolly a age where you are more inclined to get some kind of illness. I am hoping by the end of the year to be what I consider "healthy" - I felt healthy when in the 90 kilo range. I often had people comment you look like you weigh less then how ever much I weighed. When I look back at photos at the time....no I wasnt a size 10...I was a size 14-16 in clothes but I felt and looked good...and i really had a healthy appearance.
At this stage i am super keen to get under 110 kilos. Not because of clothes or anything but because I remember going from 109 to 111 kilos and it was like over night i was like...woah ive really gained weight....when under 110 kilos while i knew i had gained weight it didnt at this point feel like it was out of control.
Okay enough rambling! Have a good night all :)
I have done superwell and hit a new low this morning of 116.8 kilos - amazing!
I love how well I am currently doing. Which I put mostly down to doing "iifym" - otherwise known as "if it fits in your macros". I think I previously mentioned I go thru a company called Equalution. They have me on high calories (2100 cals a day). They give me a meal plan each week which is pretty high in protein but also incorporates things like home made chicken burgers, pizza, chicken carbonara - which I love I just dont have a desire at all to go off track. And each week I can tell them of any "food requests" which they incorporate into my meal plan. Like this week being Easter I asked them to incorporate hot cross buns....so I have had a hot cross bun with butter each day...completely guilt free which has allowed me to participate in the same thing as my co workers and not feel I am missing out.
Its been really free-ing. After years of micromanaging my nutrition....having a certain number of grain free meals per day, watching my sodium, cutting out certain products and only going for "healthy options" when eating out....I am getting that in moderation no food is bad.
The other week I went out for dinner so they did what they call a "social adjustment" - so I basically sent them a menu of the restuarant I was going too, told them what I would prefer to have and they worked out my days eating - by dinner time that night I am eating half a 12 inch bbq chicken pizza :)
So yes its all going well...I had hot cross buns....i had a few bits of chocolate...I really cannot complain....and at the business end of the easter weekend i am very happy.
Mentally I am in a good place as well. As i gained the weight between 2013-2016 i really felt a lot of shame. I was the "weight loss queen" an inspiration to so many and then suddenly I lost it and was a obese woman lacking control. I am still classified as obese but I dont feel obese. I am active. Really starting to make progress with my fitness and strength. I eat well...binge free...and have a real good nice balance of moderation.
At this age I have also realised so much the importance of health. I am 49 its prolly a age where you are more inclined to get some kind of illness. I am hoping by the end of the year to be what I consider "healthy" - I felt healthy when in the 90 kilo range. I often had people comment you look like you weigh less then how ever much I weighed. When I look back at photos at the time....no I wasnt a size 10...I was a size 14-16 in clothes but I felt and looked good...and i really had a healthy appearance.
At this stage i am super keen to get under 110 kilos. Not because of clothes or anything but because I remember going from 109 to 111 kilos and it was like over night i was like...woah ive really gained weight....when under 110 kilos while i knew i had gained weight it didnt at this point feel like it was out of control.
Okay enough rambling! Have a good night all :)
Friday, April 14, 2017
Weigh in day :)
Wooop! wooop! Super successful weigh in day....lost 1.4 kilos :) Down to a new low since i got back on track of 117.3 kilos. So, so happy with that....I think drinking 3 litres of water a day definitely made a difference.
So I dont think I have posted about my goals for this year. There is one main one...to get to double digits/lose 30 kilos. So on January 1 I weighed 126.1 kilos...if I lose 30 kilos I will be around 96 kilos....but as long as I am under 100 kilos I will consider it a successful year! So I need to be as close to 10 kilos lost by end of April as possible....so I have lost 8.8 kilos so far this year. So the goal is to lose another 1.2 kilos by april 30. My cycle is due ..... but fingers crossed I can still hit that goal. The goal after that is to be under 110 kilos by the time I fly to Sydney (I fly there July 3) so focus, focus, focus.
Exercise wise I did 3 sessions this week (had a migraine which meant i couldnt train last night)
My gym started open 24/7 as of tuesday....so this weekend I can try after work on saturday and sunday :)
Not really much else to say. I ate good. I drank 3 litres of water. I exercised. I lost weight lol....if only every week could be so simple!
Have a good easter all :)
So I dont think I have posted about my goals for this year. There is one main one...to get to double digits/lose 30 kilos. So on January 1 I weighed 126.1 kilos...if I lose 30 kilos I will be around 96 kilos....but as long as I am under 100 kilos I will consider it a successful year! So I need to be as close to 10 kilos lost by end of April as possible....so I have lost 8.8 kilos so far this year. So the goal is to lose another 1.2 kilos by april 30. My cycle is due ..... but fingers crossed I can still hit that goal. The goal after that is to be under 110 kilos by the time I fly to Sydney (I fly there July 3) so focus, focus, focus.
Exercise wise I did 3 sessions this week (had a migraine which meant i couldnt train last night)
My gym started open 24/7 as of tuesday....so this weekend I can try after work on saturday and sunday :)
Not really much else to say. I ate good. I drank 3 litres of water. I exercised. I lost weight lol....if only every week could be so simple!
Have a good easter all :)
Sunday, April 09, 2017
Why I decided to come back to my blog
After so long without writing on here and I guess losing followers I guess the question is why I decided to get back to writing in my blog. In a lot of ways blogs are kinda old hat....people are a lot more visual these days taking to things like instagram and you tube.
I personally love instagram....its quick, fast and easy. I can snap a pic...post a sentance or two and interacted with my followers. The you tube thing I tried BUT its a lot of time and effort! I just dont really have the time for it and dont feel i have the followers base for something like that.
The blog is in between. It takes a bit of time to write up a post but it doesnt take HOURS of editing and then uploading to the net.
One of the benefits of the blog before was not only did I have a history of my weight loss journey I could read back on but it allows you to say what you are really thinking. Without looking at someones face and thinking "oh did they think i was bad for saying that" it allows you in your own space to put your own thoughts and words...in your own space.
Weight loss is such a mental journey. Hard as you try if you dont have the right mental place...then you will struggle and it is kinda like battling a up hill battle. I tried for the last few years to convince myself that i "had no option" that I had to lose the weight and had to lose it right there and then. But internally i wasnt there...I could say those words to myself but in all honesty i didnt believe it. Over the last few months I believe it and it is a huge priority to me at the moment, but at the same time I also understand that weight loss isnt everything...I dont want to get to the end of my life and think....wow I wasted years thinking, planning, and plotting weight loss....and I missed out on other things....I dont want that. I want to be totally dedicated to my weight loss whilst fitting in trips away, catching up with friends, having experiences while balancing out weight loss vs the fun of life.
On to weight loss....I did weigh in yesterday. I gained 100 grams but lost 1cm from my arms, waist and thighs. My week went well tho...I stuck to the eating plan 100%....I did 4 x 1 hour walks, I did 2 PT sessions and 1 session on my own (whilst dealing with a minor bout of tendonitis in my arms and a blister on my foot)...the one thing I wasnt quite on was my water. So I am back drinking 3+ litres per day.....and the scales have since dropped so hopefully that continues. On saturday I was 118.7 kilos and this morning I was sitting at 118.2 kilos :)
I definitely had some fitness milestones this week. When I went back to personal training at Goodlife last may....one of the things I couldnt do was step ups due to it hurting my knees....this week I did step ups on to a bench without holding on to anything - didnt fall once. I also tried vertical knee raises on a exercise tower....I tried this quite a few months ago and had no chance of it. This time I did manage to hold them up for about 2 seconds. My form wasnt great tho as I was hunching my shoulders....so thats something to practice....just holding myself up on that exercise tower device.
The fails was that candice tried to get me to jog on the treadmill LOL she basically started the machine said we are jogging and then I jumped off it LOL. I seriously would love to jog on a treadmill again but I am terrified of falling and injurying myself....so i just dont! LOL
Not a lot else going on...till next time :)
I personally love instagram....its quick, fast and easy. I can snap a pic...post a sentance or two and interacted with my followers. The you tube thing I tried BUT its a lot of time and effort! I just dont really have the time for it and dont feel i have the followers base for something like that.
The blog is in between. It takes a bit of time to write up a post but it doesnt take HOURS of editing and then uploading to the net.
One of the benefits of the blog before was not only did I have a history of my weight loss journey I could read back on but it allows you to say what you are really thinking. Without looking at someones face and thinking "oh did they think i was bad for saying that" it allows you in your own space to put your own thoughts and words...in your own space.
Weight loss is such a mental journey. Hard as you try if you dont have the right mental place...then you will struggle and it is kinda like battling a up hill battle. I tried for the last few years to convince myself that i "had no option" that I had to lose the weight and had to lose it right there and then. But internally i wasnt there...I could say those words to myself but in all honesty i didnt believe it. Over the last few months I believe it and it is a huge priority to me at the moment, but at the same time I also understand that weight loss isnt everything...I dont want to get to the end of my life and think....wow I wasted years thinking, planning, and plotting weight loss....and I missed out on other things....I dont want that. I want to be totally dedicated to my weight loss whilst fitting in trips away, catching up with friends, having experiences while balancing out weight loss vs the fun of life.
On to weight loss....I did weigh in yesterday. I gained 100 grams but lost 1cm from my arms, waist and thighs. My week went well tho...I stuck to the eating plan 100%....I did 4 x 1 hour walks, I did 2 PT sessions and 1 session on my own (whilst dealing with a minor bout of tendonitis in my arms and a blister on my foot)...the one thing I wasnt quite on was my water. So I am back drinking 3+ litres per day.....and the scales have since dropped so hopefully that continues. On saturday I was 118.7 kilos and this morning I was sitting at 118.2 kilos :)
I definitely had some fitness milestones this week. When I went back to personal training at Goodlife last may....one of the things I couldnt do was step ups due to it hurting my knees....this week I did step ups on to a bench without holding on to anything - didnt fall once. I also tried vertical knee raises on a exercise tower....I tried this quite a few months ago and had no chance of it. This time I did manage to hold them up for about 2 seconds. My form wasnt great tho as I was hunching my shoulders....so thats something to practice....just holding myself up on that exercise tower device.
The fails was that candice tried to get me to jog on the treadmill LOL she basically started the machine said we are jogging and then I jumped off it LOL. I seriously would love to jog on a treadmill again but I am terrified of falling and injurying myself....so i just dont! LOL
Not a lot else going on...till next time :)
Monday, April 03, 2017
Back to it....
Again I am making a attempt to be more active on this blog! LOL
So how am I doing, what am I doing, and what are my future plans?
The current stats are that as of last friday morning (weigh in day) I was 118.6 kilos. At my highest last year I was 133.6 kilos.
What I am doing nutrition wise currently is what is called "flexible dieting", I do it thru a company called equalution - here is a link to their website How it works on a weekly basis I weigh in, take progress photos and measurements and after looking at them they tell me my calories and macros (protein/carbs/fat) for the next week. They also give me a meal plan to follow, it is expensive....but so far it is working super well for me! :)
Exercise wise....I walk to work 4 days per week. That takes me 60 minutes each walk. I then train with my trainer for 45 minutes twice a week and do 2 sessions per week on my own (the gym is going 24/7 next week so following that ill be able to increase it to 3 times a week)
So forgetting numbers etc how am I going? In a lot of ways ridiculously well....but life is never perfect. Sadly last week a friend of mine unexpectedly passed away. Its been shocking, Martine was only a few years older then me and it really doesn't seem real. But it really makes you reflect on what is important. I am 49 now .... I cannot battle this weight loss for the rest of my life. While we always will deal with it....I dont want to be "losing it" forever...I want to get to a point of a healthy weight....and then continually monitor it in a healthy manner. At the end of last year I decided that this year I was going to throw everything at my weight loss and if I didnt lose by the end of the year....I would resign myself to spending the rest of my life overweight. But thats not good enough...if I am not at a healthy weight by the end of the year...then I will start next year by reassessing where I am with my weightloss and aiming for new goals. It has also made me start to reflect on what is important, its not important how much money i make, or what material items i own, or who is right and who is wrong....but its about the people around us, the experiences, the memories. I plan to make a much more concerted effort with my friends. I think the older we get the more walls we can tend to put up...the more we fear being vulnerable - and that has certainly happened to me. But these are things I am planning to work on.
As to my fitness....it is progressing nicely. My upper body is definitely getting stronger - I am progressing well on the LAT pull down. My cardio fitness has improved nicely of late and with all the walking I am doing my endurance is also definitely improving.
My trainer messaged me yesterday saying we couldnt do PT tonight as she had concusion. She messages me this morning and says did u train yesterday or today? Im like....I walked a hour yesterday and about to head to the gym soon-ish so she replies back....do some cardio for me...heres a workout....so did a cardio workout. No idea on my calorie burn tho as I have lost my fitbit charger! Argh! But I have a new ordered and I ordered a new band for it....hopefully it will arrive wednesday.
If you are instagram make sure you follow me! My username is @kazzsjourney
Below is my latest progress pics :)
Before and current (173.1 kilos vs 118.6 kilos)
Below is January 2017 vs March 2017
Sunday, March 12, 2017
March 12 2017
So last night I walked home from work and had a rice bowl for dinner (so yummy) and ate 1465 calories and the fluctuating continues lol....this morning I was back up to 120.1 kilos.
So i still woke early today and decided to walk into work (a hour walk)...I got into work...sat down for a bit...then went to walk to the kitchen and noticed the toe next to my lil toe on both feet was hurting. So i took off my shoes to investigate and i have a blister on both those toes on the underside of my toes ugh...so frustrating. I am guessing its just my feet adapting to the walking. I wear bonds socks but dont think they are the issue.
Thankfully someone from work has offered to drop me off at home tonight so i dont need to walk to the bus stop or anything. I am hoping they dont burst before i get home.
So the rest of today and tomorrow will be a rest day. I am still hopeful that the additional cardio will help to get the scales moving....I am giving it this week to see if that helps...if not....i will need to alter somethings (much to my trainers disgust, she think I am not giving my body enough time and changing things too often....ive been in this plateau since basically january 18....and in that time...ive added the cardio, cut out soy, cut calories and tried calorie cycling) yes its some changes but come on....this is now nearly 8 weeks. And i dont think when you have 40-50 kilos to lose thats really acce
One of the trainers at the gym has used a company called equalution, they follow a IIFYM thought process and he has become really shredded...my trainer tried it as well for 6 weeks...i believe she was losing each week but she thought it was too high in sugar (which i have heard other people say too) but yanno im not anti sugar lol i just want the results....and i suspect my calorie range combined with the balance of carbs vs fat vs protein may be the issue....it would be good to have guidance in this area.
If that doesnt happen and the losses dont start soon my other thought process is to do 7 days at 2000 calories and then do a slow cut back on calories....doing a refeed like that can sometimes help to get your metabolism, The strange thing is i am eating the same calories now as i was when i was around 80-85 kilos. The big difference is i am not exercising anywhere near as much....and i do think the exercise for me is a big factor but my trainer is not keen on me increasing my exercise (i have done more this weekend then she wanted me to do...but seriously something needs to change)
So there it is with all my frustrations lol. Something has to change cos it makes no sense when my calories are so low that the weight isnt dropping of me.
Anyway....a few more hours of work and then im going home to put my feet up (quite literally) and tomorrow will be a rest day (its a public holiday) most at this stage i am planning to do is washing (the joys of it all! lol)
Have a good day/night all :)
So i still woke early today and decided to walk into work (a hour walk)...I got into work...sat down for a bit...then went to walk to the kitchen and noticed the toe next to my lil toe on both feet was hurting. So i took off my shoes to investigate and i have a blister on both those toes on the underside of my toes ugh...so frustrating. I am guessing its just my feet adapting to the walking. I wear bonds socks but dont think they are the issue.
Thankfully someone from work has offered to drop me off at home tonight so i dont need to walk to the bus stop or anything. I am hoping they dont burst before i get home.
So the rest of today and tomorrow will be a rest day. I am still hopeful that the additional cardio will help to get the scales moving....I am giving it this week to see if that helps...if not....i will need to alter somethings (much to my trainers disgust, she think I am not giving my body enough time and changing things too often....ive been in this plateau since basically january 18....and in that time...ive added the cardio, cut out soy, cut calories and tried calorie cycling) yes its some changes but come on....this is now nearly 8 weeks. And i dont think when you have 40-50 kilos to lose thats really acce
One of the trainers at the gym has used a company called equalution, they follow a IIFYM thought process and he has become really shredded...my trainer tried it as well for 6 weeks...i believe she was losing each week but she thought it was too high in sugar (which i have heard other people say too) but yanno im not anti sugar lol i just want the results....and i suspect my calorie range combined with the balance of carbs vs fat vs protein may be the issue....it would be good to have guidance in this area.
If that doesnt happen and the losses dont start soon my other thought process is to do 7 days at 2000 calories and then do a slow cut back on calories....doing a refeed like that can sometimes help to get your metabolism, The strange thing is i am eating the same calories now as i was when i was around 80-85 kilos. The big difference is i am not exercising anywhere near as much....and i do think the exercise for me is a big factor but my trainer is not keen on me increasing my exercise (i have done more this weekend then she wanted me to do...but seriously something needs to change)
So there it is with all my frustrations lol. Something has to change cos it makes no sense when my calories are so low that the weight isnt dropping of me.
Anyway....a few more hours of work and then im going home to put my feet up (quite literally) and tomorrow will be a rest day (its a public holiday) most at this stage i am planning to do is washing (the joys of it all! lol)
Have a good day/night all :)
Saturday, March 11, 2017
Weigh in day :)
Weighed in and was exactly the same as last week - so 119.5 kilos.
Last night after work i went to amart sports and bought some new gym shoes..and then had a early night (and slept super good!) I then was starting work today at 8.30am so I set my alarm for 6.30am and left the house at 6.50am and walked to work. It took exactly one hour and was a 4.87km walk and burnt 752 calories. I was hoping to walk home tonight too...but we are due rain and possible thunderstorms so will see how it is when I leave.
I really think the cardio is what is missing. When i think about it when i lost the weight before i walked a LOT. On the treadmill between classes/PT sessions....i use to walk 60-90 minutes every sunday...would walk around to mums. Since work moved to the city as well I walk less to bus stops etc so I think upping the cardio is what is needed (even if my trainer doesnt really agree lol) So I am going to try to walk to work most days (weather permitting)
Not much else is really going on...I did book flights to Sydney for July....currently debating whether to stay in the CBD or Bondi...really tempted to stay at Bondi.
Working today and tomorrow and then a couple of days off work :)
Last night after work i went to amart sports and bought some new gym shoes..and then had a early night (and slept super good!) I then was starting work today at 8.30am so I set my alarm for 6.30am and left the house at 6.50am and walked to work. It took exactly one hour and was a 4.87km walk and burnt 752 calories. I was hoping to walk home tonight too...but we are due rain and possible thunderstorms so will see how it is when I leave.
I really think the cardio is what is missing. When i think about it when i lost the weight before i walked a LOT. On the treadmill between classes/PT sessions....i use to walk 60-90 minutes every sunday...would walk around to mums. Since work moved to the city as well I walk less to bus stops etc so I think upping the cardio is what is needed (even if my trainer doesnt really agree lol) So I am going to try to walk to work most days (weather permitting)
Not much else is really going on...I did book flights to Sydney for July....currently debating whether to stay in the CBD or Bondi...really tempted to stay at Bondi.
Working today and tomorrow and then a couple of days off work :)
Friday, March 10, 2017
Update and where things are at
Ive decided to really return to my blog...mostly for the reason I find it helpful to write things out...it helps me get things straight in my head :)
I got back on track properly on boxing day. Over the previous few months I had lost about 5 kilos and since boxing day i have lost about another 8-9 kilos which sounds awesome right? Most of that was lost in the first few weeks following christmas (water weight) since late january I have lost a whole 1.5 kilos (approximately). Have i been on track? Yep totally lol...ive made numerous changes to try and get the weight loss happening again....eating clean....omitting soy...only eating 1 grain meal per day....Ive tried some low calorie days and some high calorie days...regardless....one day im in the low 119's the next day im around 120 kilos....then the following day back in the low 119's again. To say this is getting frustrating is the understatement of the year.
Ive been doing the Goodlife 12 week challenge...today is the last day of week 3. I go on the facebook group and see so many people saying...ive lost 6 kilos, ive lost 8 kilos....and there i am not having even managed 2 kilos :(
There is definitely a part of me that wonders if i am too old for this. I am 49....maybe i need to settle into this weight. I gave up the diet coke in december (havent had it for 3 months tomorrow)...I drink a minimum of 3 litres of water EVERY day...i sleep well...i eat 1700 calories currently (might be time to cut it back) and i exercise 5 days a week. Starting this week I added in a extra session on mondays of running....and my 5th session which was weights and cardio....we are now changing to just some steady state cardio (walking). So four sessions per week are a mix of weights and cardio (a lot of intervals/circuit training and i would classify them for me very intensive workouts)
Currently my sessions look like this:
monday : PT session in the AM
Running session with Fiona in the PM
tuesday: PT session in the AM
wednesday: 60 minute bootcamp
thursday: rest day
friday: Weight/cardio session
Saturday: walk 5km
Sunday: rest day
So currently here is my options:
Lower my calories
Get some guidance on my macros/calories
Increase exercise (especially cardio - maybe some cycle classes)
See a naturopath (maybe the issue is related back to my PCOS)
So thats where things are at....that said I am not giving up....altho there is a part of me that thinks i need to accept this...but not quite ready to accept that just yet.
Also, that said...I am losing centimetres....and I know people think...well if you are losing centimetres it is working....and to a point I agree....BUT when you have 40-50 kilos to lose...and in deficit...you should be losing on the scales regardless (thats my opinion...maybe wrong but still my opinion)
Weigh in day tomorrow...I was up last week...and as of this morning i was up another 400 grams...will see where things stand tomorrow morning :)
I got back on track properly on boxing day. Over the previous few months I had lost about 5 kilos and since boxing day i have lost about another 8-9 kilos which sounds awesome right? Most of that was lost in the first few weeks following christmas (water weight) since late january I have lost a whole 1.5 kilos (approximately). Have i been on track? Yep totally lol...ive made numerous changes to try and get the weight loss happening again....eating clean....omitting soy...only eating 1 grain meal per day....Ive tried some low calorie days and some high calorie days...regardless....one day im in the low 119's the next day im around 120 kilos....then the following day back in the low 119's again. To say this is getting frustrating is the understatement of the year.
Ive been doing the Goodlife 12 week challenge...today is the last day of week 3. I go on the facebook group and see so many people saying...ive lost 6 kilos, ive lost 8 kilos....and there i am not having even managed 2 kilos :(
There is definitely a part of me that wonders if i am too old for this. I am 49....maybe i need to settle into this weight. I gave up the diet coke in december (havent had it for 3 months tomorrow)...I drink a minimum of 3 litres of water EVERY day...i sleep well...i eat 1700 calories currently (might be time to cut it back) and i exercise 5 days a week. Starting this week I added in a extra session on mondays of running....and my 5th session which was weights and cardio....we are now changing to just some steady state cardio (walking). So four sessions per week are a mix of weights and cardio (a lot of intervals/circuit training and i would classify them for me very intensive workouts)
Currently my sessions look like this:
monday : PT session in the AM
Running session with Fiona in the PM
tuesday: PT session in the AM
wednesday: 60 minute bootcamp
thursday: rest day
friday: Weight/cardio session
Saturday: walk 5km
Sunday: rest day
So currently here is my options:
Lower my calories
Get some guidance on my macros/calories
Increase exercise (especially cardio - maybe some cycle classes)
See a naturopath (maybe the issue is related back to my PCOS)
So thats where things are at....that said I am not giving up....altho there is a part of me that thinks i need to accept this...but not quite ready to accept that just yet.
Also, that said...I am losing centimetres....and I know people think...well if you are losing centimetres it is working....and to a point I agree....BUT when you have 40-50 kilos to lose...and in deficit...you should be losing on the scales regardless (thats my opinion...maybe wrong but still my opinion)
Weigh in day tomorrow...I was up last week...and as of this morning i was up another 400 grams...will see where things stand tomorrow morning :)
Friday, February 24, 2017
First update for 2017!
So...last year around September I hit my highest weight for a lot of years. After being 173.1 kilos in August 2006 and then getting down to 79 kilos in 2012 I was back up to 133.6 kilos.
So what happened? Oh I could give lots of reasons (ie excuses) but the plain truth is I didnt keep my eye on the prize...didnt stay goal orientated...got lazy....and spent too many nights on the couch eating pizza.
Recently I was asked what is it that got me to turn things around. It was a very gradual thing...no huge lightbulb moment. Last september I started to eat better (I was already still doing 2 PT sessions a week at the gym) and then in the second week of October I decided to join my gyms 8 week challenge. Whilst I did it I didnt committ fully. There was weekly bootcamp sessions which I only attended one of. I never followed the eating plan completely (and my trainer wanted me to do that) I did tho lose some weight. When I started that challenge I was 129.9 kilos and by week 6 of it I was down to 122.6 kilos. I then lost my focus. I had set a goal to lose 10 kilos and while i was going to be within a few kilos of that goal I knew I wasnt going to hit it. It was also late nov/early december so I was starting to get in xmas mode. Needless to say I didnt finish the challenge and I gained most of the weight back.
Then in December a HUGE part of the transition happened. For the last few years my carb cravings had been out of control. So as last ditch effort on December 17 I decided to give up diet coke. Now let me explain...I drank a LOT of diet coke (3 litres a day) so I decided to go cold turkey just cut it out...I knew I might feel crap for a month or so but decided this needed to be attempted.
So I drank my last one on December 17 and then about 4 days later I had a real low moment lol. I felt crappy....I wanted the diet coke....I didnt want to do this weight loss anymore and wanted to stop PT/the gym. So I messaged my trainer and said "I wont be in for the rest of the year Ill message you when I am ready to come back" (with no intention of going back lol)
Well my trainer replied and was like...come in tonight and lets talk. So I went in and she asked me what was going on. I explained about the diet coke....she kinda laughed and said no wonder you feel crappy. She agreed it was prolly what was causing the cravings and thought it was super important I do this. She made me promise to stick to it...to not replace it with another bad habit (ie juice, cordial etc) and if i felt i was about to have a diet coke no matter what time of day I was to message her lol.At that point we also discussed what I wanted out of 2017 and that I was tired of coming to the gym on my own and not knowing what to do. So by the end of the conversation candice had decided she would send me a weekly workout every week (i have gathered quite a collection of them now) and we also decided I would do weigh ins with her for accountability.
The first week of giving up the diet coke I wasnt perfect. It was the week before xmas and my real focus was just not to drink diet coke.
Xmas day I didnt eat as much as I expected and then when I woke on Boxing day I had no interest in food. I was like wtf!! I thought maybe I had a stomach bug...but (10 weeks tomorrow since i gave up the diet coke) ive not had one of those carb cravings.
When the new year rolled around I knew this was it and 2017 was going to be the year I got back to the me of 2010-2012. I started attending the gym 5 days a week. And started losing weight fairly consistently (often not big losses but I was pretty consistent on the scales)
I started the gyms 12 week challenge this past saturday and I plan to do weekly updates here. My starting weight of the challenge was 121.2 kilos (by my scales). I have set 4 goals.....
1. to attend 1 bootcamp session per week for 12 weeks
2. to lose 12 kilos
3. To do 6 assisted pull ups (on the pullup machine i come nowhere near doing even one currently)
4. To do 6 commandos on my toes
The week the challenge started I also had a body scan done by sa body analysis. I will be getting another one done at the 6 week mark and again at the 12 week mark.
If I attend all 12 bootcamps and lose 12 kilos a week my trainer has told me at the end of the challenge she is going to pay for me to see her nutritionist so I can build a eating plan to go on with after the challenge
I have many goals this year.....this 12 week challenge is just the first bunch of them! Till next time :)
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
27 December 2016
So I am back....I was posting in another blog address as I didnt have access to this blog (as I had closed the email attached to it down) but I have since reactivated it so I could et this blog up and running .... it didnt feel right writing in a different blog.
So how am I going? Pretty good. Over the last few months.....here is the upate. I did the goodlife 8 week challenge. In the first 6 weeks I did awesome and lost 7.1 kilos and then lost the plot. I think this was a combo of realising I wouldnt hit my goal of 10 kilos (ive always had a very bad habit of instead of risking failure...just dropping out of whatever it was) or if it was too low calories (I was doing 1600 calories), and at the same time as all this I also discovered I had anaemia and also hurt my back!
Since then initially I struggled to get back on track. Then about 10 days ago I decided if I wanted to get on track for good....i needed to control my cravings and cut out the diet coke. Today is day 10....Ive been drinking 4 litres of water most days and didnt have much of a headache or anything and have coped with it quite easily. Im at the point now where my cravings really have subsided....and I have noticed I am desiring foods like fruit, yoghurt, nuts, seeds etc....the thought of rich foods or processed foods just is not tempting to me at all.
So just over a week ago I had a chat with my trainer...I told her I needed more accountability and told her about the diet coke. So we decided that I would do weigh ins with her...so I did my initial one just over a week ago and will be weighing in again on friday. As well as my PT sessions she is also going to be sending me weekly workouts (just got this weeks one today)
In the new year I am looking at using a company called "equalution" my trainer is looking into it and if she is happy with it then a few of her clients (including me) will start with them. Basically they are online nutrition but they work with your trainer. They are expensive...but I have always been of the belief without health you have nothing. It is basically "flexible dieting" with a real focus on balance.
Not much else to say but I will be back by the new year for a post about my 2017 goals :)
So how am I going? Pretty good. Over the last few months.....here is the upate. I did the goodlife 8 week challenge. In the first 6 weeks I did awesome and lost 7.1 kilos and then lost the plot. I think this was a combo of realising I wouldnt hit my goal of 10 kilos (ive always had a very bad habit of instead of risking failure...just dropping out of whatever it was) or if it was too low calories (I was doing 1600 calories), and at the same time as all this I also discovered I had anaemia and also hurt my back!
Since then initially I struggled to get back on track. Then about 10 days ago I decided if I wanted to get on track for good....i needed to control my cravings and cut out the diet coke. Today is day 10....Ive been drinking 4 litres of water most days and didnt have much of a headache or anything and have coped with it quite easily. Im at the point now where my cravings really have subsided....and I have noticed I am desiring foods like fruit, yoghurt, nuts, seeds etc....the thought of rich foods or processed foods just is not tempting to me at all.
So just over a week ago I had a chat with my trainer...I told her I needed more accountability and told her about the diet coke. So we decided that I would do weigh ins with her...so I did my initial one just over a week ago and will be weighing in again on friday. As well as my PT sessions she is also going to be sending me weekly workouts (just got this weeks one today)
In the new year I am looking at using a company called "equalution" my trainer is looking into it and if she is happy with it then a few of her clients (including me) will start with them. Basically they are online nutrition but they work with your trainer. They are expensive...but I have always been of the belief without health you have nothing. It is basically "flexible dieting" with a real focus on balance.
Not much else to say but I will be back by the new year for a post about my 2017 goals :)
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Believe it or not...I am back :)
Wow .... well where to begin? This journal has been neglected for sooooooooo long!
So how am I going? Ridiculously well! :)
The highest weight I got up to this year....was 133.6 kilos. That was about 3-4 months ago. I then played around for a while...a few days of track a few days off track....the only really consistency was i was attending my 2 PT sessions a week without fail.
Then on October 15 I started a 8 week challenge with my gym. It involved initially being weighed, measured, body fat tested by my skin folds with calipers and progress photo taken (in just legging and a crop top!lol) The challenge goes for 8 weeks....and I weighed in on their scales at 129.5 kilos, and on my scales at home I weighed in at 129.9 kilos.
This morning when I weighed in at home I was 124.8 kilos so today is the 4 week mark and I have lost 5.1 kilos. My goal by December 10 is to lose at least 8 kilos but preferably 10 kilos. This week I did actually gain 200 grams and surprisingly I am okay with that! The first 3 weeks I lost each week (varying between 700 grams and 3.7 kilos), whilst the scales went slightly up this week my waist measurement has dropped close to 1 centimetre this week and my tops are becoming looser :)
Foodwise I am sticking to 1600 calories and I have only gone over this i think 3 times (and I havent for the last 10 days or so) each time i went over it it was a extra about 500-600 calories i ate but it obviously did me no harm. I am also aiming to eat more protein and have 1 grain free meal most days (generally saturdays I dont fuss over this too much. I am eating very clean with very minimal processed foods.
Currently the only exercise I am doing is 2 sessions a week. These are my PT sessions and I kid you not they are very intensive....but this slight gain this week may be the indication I need to start to increase the exercise. This week I will leave my food and exercise as it is....if I maintain or gain again this week then I will add 1 extra day of exercise in, but things are going so well at the moment I dont want to mess with things and change a whole pile or do insane amounts of exercise...knowing me I am sure they will come LOL
What else has been happening? My work office is moving to the City come early february! YAY i am so excited for this! I will have a branch of my gym around the corner from work and travel times will reduce hugely for me! I went and got my hair chopped. It was well below my waist and now its at my shoulders and i struggle to put it into a ponytail lol. But i love the length, it is so much more manageble. I also had it done like i think its called "baylage" so its dark brown at the top with red down the bottom....I love the red colour. Nothing else of real note happening.
Below I have posted the photos i had taken at the start of the goodlife challenge...not attractive but just putting my starting point out there!...cannot wait for another 4 weeks to have more photos taken to see the progress,,,,here is to a good week!
So how am I going? Ridiculously well! :)
The highest weight I got up to this year....was 133.6 kilos. That was about 3-4 months ago. I then played around for a while...a few days of track a few days off track....the only really consistency was i was attending my 2 PT sessions a week without fail.
Then on October 15 I started a 8 week challenge with my gym. It involved initially being weighed, measured, body fat tested by my skin folds with calipers and progress photo taken (in just legging and a crop top!lol) The challenge goes for 8 weeks....and I weighed in on their scales at 129.5 kilos, and on my scales at home I weighed in at 129.9 kilos.
This morning when I weighed in at home I was 124.8 kilos so today is the 4 week mark and I have lost 5.1 kilos. My goal by December 10 is to lose at least 8 kilos but preferably 10 kilos. This week I did actually gain 200 grams and surprisingly I am okay with that! The first 3 weeks I lost each week (varying between 700 grams and 3.7 kilos), whilst the scales went slightly up this week my waist measurement has dropped close to 1 centimetre this week and my tops are becoming looser :)
Foodwise I am sticking to 1600 calories and I have only gone over this i think 3 times (and I havent for the last 10 days or so) each time i went over it it was a extra about 500-600 calories i ate but it obviously did me no harm. I am also aiming to eat more protein and have 1 grain free meal most days (generally saturdays I dont fuss over this too much. I am eating very clean with very minimal processed foods.
Currently the only exercise I am doing is 2 sessions a week. These are my PT sessions and I kid you not they are very intensive....but this slight gain this week may be the indication I need to start to increase the exercise. This week I will leave my food and exercise as it is....if I maintain or gain again this week then I will add 1 extra day of exercise in, but things are going so well at the moment I dont want to mess with things and change a whole pile or do insane amounts of exercise...knowing me I am sure they will come LOL
What else has been happening? My work office is moving to the City come early february! YAY i am so excited for this! I will have a branch of my gym around the corner from work and travel times will reduce hugely for me! I went and got my hair chopped. It was well below my waist and now its at my shoulders and i struggle to put it into a ponytail lol. But i love the length, it is so much more manageble. I also had it done like i think its called "baylage" so its dark brown at the top with red down the bottom....I love the red colour. Nothing else of real note happening.
Below I have posted the photos i had taken at the start of the goodlife challenge...not attractive but just putting my starting point out there!...cannot wait for another 4 weeks to have more photos taken to see the progress,,,,here is to a good week!
Monday, October 03, 2016
A new book.
After a discussion with a friend last night (Thanks Steph!) i realised i needed a fresh start with this journey and totally disconnecting with my previous weight loss success. Instead of being complacent and riding on the tail coats of my previous success I need to accept this is a completely separate journey which I am only on day 1 off.
So i woke this morning....and got my official starting weight for my new journey. So I weighed in at 131.1 kilos. My goal is to lose at least 52 kilos. So i am starting fresh. I want to look at this like...my previous success...that book has been written...edit...finished and published. This is now a new book. And really right now I am just starting to write the first draft...and planning how Ill go about to create the new book....does that make sense?
Today funnily enough i havent been that hungry. I had greek yoghurt, granola and a few blueberries for breakfast, then during the day ive had a 13 gram bag of plain popcorn and a quest bar. I am planning to have shortcut bacon, eggs and avocado on toast for dinner which puts me just under 1300 calories. After dinner i might just have some nut and seed mix....i also have a sample of mint green tea which i might try after dinner.
Not a lot else going on....we are about to get more bad weather then tomorrow i have PT and i might also go out for lunch after it and to the movies to see bridget jones :)
So i woke this morning....and got my official starting weight for my new journey. So I weighed in at 131.1 kilos. My goal is to lose at least 52 kilos. So i am starting fresh. I want to look at this like...my previous success...that book has been written...edit...finished and published. This is now a new book. And really right now I am just starting to write the first draft...and planning how Ill go about to create the new book....does that make sense?
Today funnily enough i havent been that hungry. I had greek yoghurt, granola and a few blueberries for breakfast, then during the day ive had a 13 gram bag of plain popcorn and a quest bar. I am planning to have shortcut bacon, eggs and avocado on toast for dinner which puts me just under 1300 calories. After dinner i might just have some nut and seed mix....i also have a sample of mint green tea which i might try after dinner.
Not a lot else going on....we are about to get more bad weather then tomorrow i have PT and i might also go out for lunch after it and to the movies to see bridget jones :)
Sunday, October 02, 2016
I'm back!
Yep, yep - I am back... :)
For a while there I got tired of writing in my journal but I have really started to miss it. I make my you tube videos and i like that....but writing can be so therauputic I wanted to come back to the blog :)
So where am I? Weight loss wise i am overdue a weigh in! My guess is 133-134 kilos (eek!) Over the last few months I have had some brilliant weight loss weeks and some terrible ones...consistency is what I lack.
I have still been going to the gym and doing PT twice a week. And i have definitely made progress there with certain movements/exercises i struggled with before I am now kinda decent at :) But there has been no real progress with the weight loss? Why? That is such a good question. When I look at aspects of my life....my work life is quite settled at the moment, but earlier in the year with redundancies etc it was rather unsettled. Friendships/support network...this is a interesting one LOL. One thing I decided with coming back is I would write exactly what I was thinking in my journal. So with friends .... a number of people i was friends with the friendships have pretty much faded away....mostly cos either i felt like i was always the one doing the suggesting to get together...or when there was a get together i felt like a third wheel...there were conversations on topics that just didnt include me....so i basically made the decision to stop messaging people to catch up...if they want to catch up....at least for the first time....they can reach out to me and that hasnt happened....which I think says enough about those friendships. To be honest....I only want people in my life who truly want to be my friend and if someone doesnt want to truly be my friend then it simply is best to let things go and for life to move on for everyone. That said I do have people I would include as part of a support network...who message me to check how I am going....I have mates at work....I just dont have the thriving social life I would like ;p
A friend who messaged me this morning (and has had incredible weight loss success) commented its just one step at a time. And thats correct. I have really been in "fake it till you make it" mode but I wanna be in "im a success" mode :) So yes one meal at a time.
I think back on all the work and effort I put in to my weight loss, I am still 40 kilos down but have gained basically 50 kilos...its depressing as hell!
I want to get on top of things...get rid of the confusion. So firstly apart from aiming to do 45-60 minutes exercise 6 days a week....I am also going on the 14th to have my RMR tested, from their I will have much better information of where to sit my calories (currently they are at 2000....but im not sure if thats too low or too high)
Tomorrow morning i will weigh in - I also want to post here more consistently. I dont care if no one reads this lil journal....lol....this is what i need for ME!
For a while there I got tired of writing in my journal but I have really started to miss it. I make my you tube videos and i like that....but writing can be so therauputic I wanted to come back to the blog :)
So where am I? Weight loss wise i am overdue a weigh in! My guess is 133-134 kilos (eek!) Over the last few months I have had some brilliant weight loss weeks and some terrible ones...consistency is what I lack.
I have still been going to the gym and doing PT twice a week. And i have definitely made progress there with certain movements/exercises i struggled with before I am now kinda decent at :) But there has been no real progress with the weight loss? Why? That is such a good question. When I look at aspects of my life....my work life is quite settled at the moment, but earlier in the year with redundancies etc it was rather unsettled. Friendships/support network...this is a interesting one LOL. One thing I decided with coming back is I would write exactly what I was thinking in my journal. So with friends .... a number of people i was friends with the friendships have pretty much faded away....mostly cos either i felt like i was always the one doing the suggesting to get together...or when there was a get together i felt like a third wheel...there were conversations on topics that just didnt include me....so i basically made the decision to stop messaging people to catch up...if they want to catch up....at least for the first time....they can reach out to me and that hasnt happened....which I think says enough about those friendships. To be honest....I only want people in my life who truly want to be my friend and if someone doesnt want to truly be my friend then it simply is best to let things go and for life to move on for everyone. That said I do have people I would include as part of a support network...who message me to check how I am going....I have mates at work....I just dont have the thriving social life I would like ;p
A friend who messaged me this morning (and has had incredible weight loss success) commented its just one step at a time. And thats correct. I have really been in "fake it till you make it" mode but I wanna be in "im a success" mode :) So yes one meal at a time.
I think back on all the work and effort I put in to my weight loss, I am still 40 kilos down but have gained basically 50 kilos...its depressing as hell!
I want to get on top of things...get rid of the confusion. So firstly apart from aiming to do 45-60 minutes exercise 6 days a week....I am also going on the 14th to have my RMR tested, from their I will have much better information of where to sit my calories (currently they are at 2000....but im not sure if thats too low or too high)
Tomorrow morning i will weigh in - I also want to post here more consistently. I dont care if no one reads this lil journal....lol....this is what i need for ME!
Friday, September 02, 2016
Back.....and back to basics.
Well I was drawn back to this blog. I like making you tube...but its very VERY time consuming. I was looking back thru this journal...back mid 2010. It kinda woke me up. The basics. Calorie Count. Calorie cycle. Eat mostly wholefoods. Fit in some treats. Sleep 8 hours a night. Attend the gym most days.
Yesterday I finally decided to just get off my ass and go do a les mills class. I went to the gym - I jumped on the cross trainer for 25 minutes and then did a 60 minute body pump class. It reminded me so much of how it use to make me feel. I really do like the classes. I like the format. I am confident in them (specially pump) im far from perfect in them and may struggle occassionally especially when going from standing up to down to the ground and back up again....but if i am a fraction slow....thats ok. I think i just prefer the classes...they feel productive and combined with some cardio it just works....thats how i exercised all those years ago. So now ive done that....and i was surprised! When i did pump last time was like well over 6 months ago. It was a struggle. I felt weak by the second track...i just didnt have the endurance or fitness for it. But last night....i did it....and did it easily there was definitely no tiredness. Now that said...as i have just got over my neck injury...and hadnt done it a while...but i did do light weights...so now...its to try and go 1-2 times a week for pump....and slowly increase the weights. So now its time to incorporate a few classes :) I think the next few weeks i am going to try and incorporate pump, body balance and RPM as much as I can. And then once I get past those....I will expand to include yoga, booty barre (I have no idea how hard that is!),cxworx, active tone and active core.
Foodwise....its honestly not hard! Calorie cycle...eating a average of 1650 calories per day. Sleeping 8 hours a night. Doing that...and ill be much healthier and ultimately lose weight.
Tomorrow I work and then I have sunday off. So i wont get to the gym tomorrow but sunday I will. So sunday will be pump and then 25-30 minutes of cardio.
Also i have booked a body scan for september 14 and then will again mid november. My "holiday" from weight loss is over. No more debating do i go to the gym each day....in the words of nike...just do it!
Yesterday I finally decided to just get off my ass and go do a les mills class. I went to the gym - I jumped on the cross trainer for 25 minutes and then did a 60 minute body pump class. It reminded me so much of how it use to make me feel. I really do like the classes. I like the format. I am confident in them (specially pump) im far from perfect in them and may struggle occassionally especially when going from standing up to down to the ground and back up again....but if i am a fraction slow....thats ok. I think i just prefer the classes...they feel productive and combined with some cardio it just works....thats how i exercised all those years ago. So now ive done that....and i was surprised! When i did pump last time was like well over 6 months ago. It was a struggle. I felt weak by the second track...i just didnt have the endurance or fitness for it. But last night....i did it....and did it easily there was definitely no tiredness. Now that said...as i have just got over my neck injury...and hadnt done it a while...but i did do light weights...so now...its to try and go 1-2 times a week for pump....and slowly increase the weights. So now its time to incorporate a few classes :) I think the next few weeks i am going to try and incorporate pump, body balance and RPM as much as I can. And then once I get past those....I will expand to include yoga, booty barre (I have no idea how hard that is!),cxworx, active tone and active core.
Foodwise....its honestly not hard! Calorie cycle...eating a average of 1650 calories per day. Sleeping 8 hours a night. Doing that...and ill be much healthier and ultimately lose weight.
Tomorrow I work and then I have sunday off. So i wont get to the gym tomorrow but sunday I will. So sunday will be pump and then 25-30 minutes of cardio.
Also i have booked a body scan for september 14 and then will again mid november. My "holiday" from weight loss is over. No more debating do i go to the gym each day....in the words of nike...just do it!
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Where can you find me?
I have decided to continue with a blog, but have set up my own domain as well as a you tube channel! YAY. You can find my first you tube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyOnFXlbHNQ and you can find the new blog at Kazzs Journey currently there is no posts on the website but I will start posting there from tomorrow - so keep a look out :)
Monday, May 30, 2016
Time for change
I had a big think about things last night following writing that post about the gym, and something i am more and more aware of is i no longer have the ability to be authentic on this journal. I "edit" too much because I am too concerned about who might read a post and what people might think. So i have decided to leave the blog for the moment. I have never desired to be "social media" famous. So for the moment, I wont be posting on here, i am deleting facebook (apart from messenger as thats how family contact me) and also be stepping away from socialising. I want to focus simply on me, weight watchers, food preparation, the gym and work - nothing else.
Sunday, May 29, 2016
All things gym.
I ummed and ahhed a lot about posting this and I may end up deleting it or not publishing it lol
Gym experiences. We all have them and some of us have some horror stories. I must admit in my time at gyms until very recently i never had any bad experiences. I certainly was anxious over attending the gym and i personally thought everyone was looking at me and judging me...but of course that wasnt the case.
When I quit my old gym i stated on the blog i was sick of travelling, felt anxious about attending the gym, and needed a gym with more flexible hours. This was all true. I wanted to share this story to show even if something does happen....it doesnt mean you throw your fitness journey in. I hadnt actually told anybody about this till last night...and after i told Martine i kinda knew it was something i should post about.
So I was in a session a group session which was a circuit. I did the first exercise, that was all fine. I then moved on to the second exercise. It was a exercise I cannot do and attempting it would have actually put me at risk of injury. So i called over the instructor....she set up a different exercise for me...i did one or two reps and then it was time to move on to the next exercise. But what happened a female who was on the exercise next to me turned around and said "wait she didnt do her exercise" OMG i seriously wanted to die. Yes i know i didnt do as many reps as i should have but up till that moment i was simply proud to be in that group session...and to speak up when i had something i knew i couldnt do. By the end of the week I had been giving it a lot thought, mostly to the demographics of the gym and did i fit in anymore. I had felt pulled back to this gym many times. I had my success at it 2008-2011. And while i had left and gone to a different gym a few times...I felt connected to this gym. But what ive realised over the last few weeks...it wasnt the gym that helped me...it was fiona...pure and simple. The gym is the same building...but it has changed over time..and I felt i no longer fit into those demographics. The gym i joined i have been a member of before. I am going back to someone I trained with before...I always liked training with her...i only left cos i felt my success was tied to my old gym. This gym has both males and females...and yes it has plenty of females size 10-12 it also has plenty of people on their weight loss journey....and various ages. Going back to the comment that person said about me not having done the full exercise..here is my thought....you or i are not obligated in any group session to do every set or rep. There is no requirement for you to keep up with the person next to you...only person you need to keep up with is yourself. I put this comment down to the age of this person. BUT if you are at a gym or fitness centre where you encounter anything similar...YOU are in control....put yourself in a environment that is right for you, try to remove the emotions of it all and decide where you will get the most success from....but dont let any person stop you from your fitness journey.
I just watched a video clip where 7 of the ex US biggest losers discussed the study that came out recently about how their metabolism was damaged after being on biggest loser. Partly they were discussing how they have neglected weight training (and in fact one mentioned they lost 21lbs of muscle whilst on biggest loser) and we know the more muscle we have the better our metabolism works. Now i have done weight training for years, altho I was definitely stronger 5 years ago. Anyway the biggest loser peeps said something interesting ... "cardio is my comfort zone" and thats so true. Sure the treadmill isnt my comfort zone....but going especially on the cross trainer or outside walking...is definitely a comfort zone with me. With going back to the gym this week (Candice messaged me this morning so sure i will have at least one session with her this morning) I am going to step out of that comfort zone. As much as I am going to focus on my eating with weight watchers...I am also going to focus on becoming stronger which inevitably will mean my muscle is improving. If Candice sets me programs to do in the weights area (she prolly will) then so be it i will do it - time to set out of my comfort zone. Simple as that.
Gym experiences. We all have them and some of us have some horror stories. I must admit in my time at gyms until very recently i never had any bad experiences. I certainly was anxious over attending the gym and i personally thought everyone was looking at me and judging me...but of course that wasnt the case.
When I quit my old gym i stated on the blog i was sick of travelling, felt anxious about attending the gym, and needed a gym with more flexible hours. This was all true. I wanted to share this story to show even if something does happen....it doesnt mean you throw your fitness journey in. I hadnt actually told anybody about this till last night...and after i told Martine i kinda knew it was something i should post about.
So I was in a session a group session which was a circuit. I did the first exercise, that was all fine. I then moved on to the second exercise. It was a exercise I cannot do and attempting it would have actually put me at risk of injury. So i called over the instructor....she set up a different exercise for me...i did one or two reps and then it was time to move on to the next exercise. But what happened a female who was on the exercise next to me turned around and said "wait she didnt do her exercise" OMG i seriously wanted to die. Yes i know i didnt do as many reps as i should have but up till that moment i was simply proud to be in that group session...and to speak up when i had something i knew i couldnt do. By the end of the week I had been giving it a lot thought, mostly to the demographics of the gym and did i fit in anymore. I had felt pulled back to this gym many times. I had my success at it 2008-2011. And while i had left and gone to a different gym a few times...I felt connected to this gym. But what ive realised over the last few weeks...it wasnt the gym that helped me...it was fiona...pure and simple. The gym is the same building...but it has changed over time..and I felt i no longer fit into those demographics. The gym i joined i have been a member of before. I am going back to someone I trained with before...I always liked training with her...i only left cos i felt my success was tied to my old gym. This gym has both males and females...and yes it has plenty of females size 10-12 it also has plenty of people on their weight loss journey....and various ages. Going back to the comment that person said about me not having done the full exercise..here is my thought....you or i are not obligated in any group session to do every set or rep. There is no requirement for you to keep up with the person next to you...only person you need to keep up with is yourself. I put this comment down to the age of this person. BUT if you are at a gym or fitness centre where you encounter anything similar...YOU are in control....put yourself in a environment that is right for you, try to remove the emotions of it all and decide where you will get the most success from....but dont let any person stop you from your fitness journey.
I just watched a video clip where 7 of the ex US biggest losers discussed the study that came out recently about how their metabolism was damaged after being on biggest loser. Partly they were discussing how they have neglected weight training (and in fact one mentioned they lost 21lbs of muscle whilst on biggest loser) and we know the more muscle we have the better our metabolism works. Now i have done weight training for years, altho I was definitely stronger 5 years ago. Anyway the biggest loser peeps said something interesting ... "cardio is my comfort zone" and thats so true. Sure the treadmill isnt my comfort zone....but going especially on the cross trainer or outside walking...is definitely a comfort zone with me. With going back to the gym this week (Candice messaged me this morning so sure i will have at least one session with her this morning) I am going to step out of that comfort zone. As much as I am going to focus on my eating with weight watchers...I am also going to focus on becoming stronger which inevitably will mean my muscle is improving. If Candice sets me programs to do in the weights area (she prolly will) then so be it i will do it - time to set out of my comfort zone. Simple as that.
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