Day 4 on track.

I slept in today so didnt go for a walk. With it being so hot...i need to do it early in the day. Tomorrow i will really aim to do it.

Food wise today has been good. Oats and protein powder for breakfast...lunch was a wrap with ham, cheese and salad and my niece made lil cinnimon muffins (not fried...made from scratch and cooked in a muffin tray in the oven) and a quest bar. Tonight for dinner is mushroom risotto and i might have fruit and yoghurt after dinner :)

There is really not too much else to say...wanted to post cos i want to do that daily...but really not a exciting one :) Glad for day 4 back on track tho :)

Making the best choices where I can :)

So I was up early today and at the hotel gym by 7am :) I did 15 minutes on the treadmill at a incline of 10...i then did 10 minutes at level 1 and threw in a few jogging sprints! :) Funny, no one else was in the gym and had it to myself and didnt really worry about falling. I then did some rows, LAT pull down and chest press followed by 5 minutes on the cross trainer. I burnt a total of 415 calories in 40 minutes.

We didnt have a home base today so my options werent perfect early in the day...bakers delight this morning (i had a ham & pineapple pizza which was 437 calories. Lunch we went to kfc and all i got  was a original burger (no cheese or anything) which was 440 calories and while the girls had chips I had 25 grams of flava beans which i had bought with me :)

Tonight my sister cooked a green chicken curry and rice for dinner. No processed crap in it...that was only 417 calories....and she has some home made sorbet which i will have for dessert. My aim is to stay under 1880 cals while on holidays....a lil higher today and hit 1906 cals...but considering my options i thought i did well.

I went to the shops earlier and bought oranges, apples, bananas and strawberries and greek yoghurt....so i can have some healthy snacks over the next few days.

Tomorrow is suppose to be pretty warm so im planning to go walking down the beach when i wake :) Will be a early night tonight...am sleepy....will be keen to catch up on sleep.

Oh I am reading Khloe Khardasians book "Strong looks better naked"....so good...Ill post more about it once I finish it but I am really enjoying it :)

It's all good :)

One of my focuses is to be updating my journal a lot more.

I wanted to explain....regardless of any relationship/emotional dramas....for the most part i am in a very happy place :) I live a blessed life...I have a secure job, secure home life, friends, family....enough money to do all the things I choose to do.

I am in control of any choices, decisions i make and being proactive is generally i find the best way to deal with anything. The relationship thing is definitely over...a small miracle would need to happen for me to consider anything further. My focus now and for 2016 is not a relationship...its me, my health, my weight. I am investing just way too much money for it not to be the focus. Hopefully come the last half of 2017 i can start to do all the things i want....the dating, the travel etc.

So.I weighed in this morning. So here are the stats:

Weight : 124.7 kilos
Chest : 110.5cm
waist : 102cm
thigh (right) : 82cm
Hips : 156cm

My plan for tomorrow is to get into the gym and do body pump at lunch time....then home for lunch and not long after i will be heading to the airport :) Spending the night at Port Lincoln tomorrow night before we drive to Streaky Bay on tuesday.

Did go out for lunch with Tania today. So good having someone who has similar goals...time to kick some ass! :)

The Plan

So a bit of a overdue post. WOW where do I start?

The on again off again involvement I mentioned a few posts ago has been on again and off again some more. While I care for this person very deeply we have a fundamental difference in how we deal with issues. I am a talker and want to discuss and resolve issues....she just prefers to not discuss things or talk at all. And that is most likely going to be the downfall of anything. As i type this we are definitely OFF. And i think i just need to get thru this "hump" i need to avoid contact and "do me" and hopefully in a few weeks time it will not have the same impact it currently does.

But as this is a weight loss journal lets discuss that eh? So to answer questions...no im not sticking with weight watchers. To me the fact they dont differentiate natural sugar vs added sugar vs fake sugar i dont agree with...also i feel it is really simply a low carb way of eating and also i had no end issues with the app.

So i now have a bit of a plan. Firstly on 31/12 I am going to the doctors and organising blood tests to be done that day...going to ask for sugar, cholesterol and liver ones to be done. I will also get my doc to check my blood pressure...Ill then get them redone in 3 months ... as a additional way to track my progress.

18/1 my gym has a body scans being done so I have already booked in for a appointment for that and will hopefully get one done every 6 weeks or so.

I was going to wait till January 1 to get back on track but sunday I am suppose to be going walking with Tania down semaphore....so I figured since that will be a healthy start to the day I will get back on track that day! I will also do my measurements, take a photo and weigh. Ill take my tape measure with me whilst away and measure my waist 7 days later and then again December 30 i will do a official weigh in, measurements etc and then leave the weigh ins at wednesday.

I have someone coming to collect my foxtel box on monday...(foxtel hadnt sent me the details to send so some repo company is coming to collect it LOL...) but hopefully i will manage to get to pump lunchtime monday and then tuesday morning i will use the hotel gym...and then while in streaky...walking and swimming at the beach will be the activity :) I am soooooooooo ready to kick ass and make 2016 a success!

Here we go.................................

So I made some decisions. Firstly ive had it with the weight watchers app...LOL...im going back to what has worked for me in the past...simplicity of counting calories. Got out Jillians book and did some calculations....she recommends 1850 a day for me to lose half a kilo a week...as i am not really exercising at the moment I will drop down to 1800. But my focus will be more on my macros..aiming for 158 grams of carbs, 135 grams of protein and 70 grams of fat. This time if i plateau out instead of jumping to lower the calories i am going to play around with the macros more.

Daily blogging....I want to go back to daily blogging so here and on instagram...I want to take a photo everyday for instagram. Mondays will be a front body shot....with my weigh in result as a form of accountability.

Goals....I have set goals for the following weights:

119.9 kilos - make up
114.9 kilos - Perfume
109.9 kilos - a ring
104.9 kilos - Boots
99,9 kilos - A gold necklace with some form of meaningful charm
94.9 kilos - eyelash extensions
89.9 kilos - Kardashian handbag
84.9 kilos - Dress
79.9 kilos - Withdrew $300 for a LJ shopping spree
74.9 kilos - tattoo

I think i mentioned i have signed up for 3 PT sessions a week this coming year. My first one is booked for January 5, I have January 4 off and ill return to the gym that day and most likely do lunchtime classes (i have the day off)

As i am counting calories i doubt ill attend ww meetings. I will talk to my coach (who is a friend after xmas about it) maybe ill go in and weigh once a week. I am still glad I purchased the ww goods i did. Their new cookbook is amazing and I plan to cook out of it once a week. And their scales I am so happy to have good reliable scales :) and I think their magazine is good too especially for recipes. I really want to get to double digits in 2016 and also have a much fitter look then I currently have. I really want to get into boxing classes, pump and balance as much as I can. And with luck get back into running....ill possibly look at doing the park run on saturday mornings towards the end of the year.

I have 5 work days then just over 2 weeks of destressing (one week in streaky bay) and im soooooooooooooo ready for the down time...but I am also SO keen for January 2 which will be my first day back at the gym...good things for 2016 I feel :)

WW SmartPoints vs Calorie Counting

So i am on day 5 of SmartPoints...and ill be honest...not convinced about it. I went back to ww for the community support...apart from a facebook group I dont know ive really sensed a "community". With SPs for those who dont know...they use the kilojoules as the base of the points of food....then they are lowered if high in protein and increased if high in saturated fat or sugar. An example is a xmas individual mince pie...is 23 points. I agree sugar is not good for us....but in my opinion they are lumping everything in one category. My big issue is honey. 1 tablespoon of honey is 6 points! Honey is a natural sugar, and if you use manuka honey incredibly good for you. I actually ate honey every day I lost weight....so really struggle with this. I just dont think its correct to put honey in the same category as all other types of sugars. To give a comparison...a tablespoon of honey weighs about 15 grams and that is 6 points....12 grams of cadbury chocolate is 3 points.............
 My other issue if you look at the ww page is they tell you to keep your sodium under 2300mg (which is very sound advice) but how can you track that with weight watchers apps?

When i think about calories it does seem simpler to me...non confusing...i can guage my protein, fat and carb content...i can monitor sodium. I feel like I am going to go back to calorie counting...but im resisting just yet cos im paying for weight watchers. I also HATE the weekly points ... just give us a number and let us stick to it...anyway thats my opinion!

I must say tho soooooooooooo glad i have the weight watcher scales and i do love the weight watchers cookbook but I most likely will revert back to counting calories.

That said i know some people are having GREAT success on it! Like i said tho...im still unconvinced.

Ive been going back thru my journal .... from the beginning...and im realising im not that far off where I was. I think for a long time ive felt its not "essential" i get back on track. Reading the early days off my journal....the ankle and knee pain...the fluid retention in my feet and calves...I really need to get back on track tomorrow.... and permanantly. One of the things i did notice when i was doing well with my weight loss in the beginning was i focussed on non food goal rewards...and they were all things for "me" to help me feel better about my presentation etc...i created a list last night:

perfume
eyelash extensions
tattoo
winter boots (like cowgirl ones!)
make up
jewellery
Handbag

I also think i need to "do more"...there are so many things i want to do .... but i dont cos i dont wanna go alone. Movies, live theatre, expos, displays....whatever...I might set a goal for next year to do one thing per month by myself.

Okies thats enuff for today :)

The day before....

So firstly, thank you to those who privately messaged me about my last post :) Id like to say its all been calm in relation to that since LOL but id be lying ;) We have had two conversations...one went okay...one not so much LOL....but that just convinces me more and more it was the right decision, just avoiding her as much as possible.

The heat has been awful here :( Ive had a moment where i was making my oats this morning and in the time it took me to get up to make them thought i would faint! UGH!

But the good news is SmartPoints starts tomorrow for me! I am super excited for that. Tomorrow morning i will weigh in, tomorrow night i am heading to the gym....the plan is body balance, 45 minutes on the treadmill and if not too hot zumba. I will then take some "starting SP" photos when I get home....I have no shorts that fit me but i will take photos in tank tops with my stomach exposed (sorry world!)

From what I think when i did a squizzy at the points early...I will be on 40 dailies....42 weeklies....and a goal of 49 weekly fitpoints. And of course knowing how my body works best I want to calorie cycle..so the plan will be:

monday : 51 SPs
tuesday : 40 SPs
wednesday: 40 SPs
thursday: 51 SPs
Friday: 40 SPs
Saturday: 60 SPs
sunday : 40 SPs

So i will weigh in monday then every wednesday after that (presuming they let me change my weigh in day)

My plan is to get my protein up and also my good fats up....I remember a few years ago I was following a plan where it was high fat & protein and moderate carbs and my body shape at the time changed significantly so I will be focusing on that again. Things like avocado, olive oil, nut butters, semi dried tomatos etc. My one concern is whether I can hit the points by eating whole foods. Protein foods have significantly dropped....and lets face it 40 or 51 points is a big ask to hear. On saturdays will be fine because i go out for dinner...during the week may be more of a struggle. I really want to limit my grains to oats in the morning, and 1/2 cup rice or barley or 2 slices of bread...and avoid grains at dinner....but we will see how it goes...the annoying thing is it starts for me tomorrow and i cannot track until tomorrow!

Weigh in week 3 :)

So I weighed in - down another 800 grams :) So the stats are:

-4 kilos lost in 3 weeks
-3rd lost in a row
-2.1 kilos to go to hit my 5%
-total loss of 54.2 kilos

So i am pretty happy with all that :) I have really focused on eating non processed and it seems to be paying off.

Exercise wise...I didnt go to the gym last night as I had weight watchers meeting but I did do over 20,000 steps. Tonight I did go to the gym and did a 30 minute TTT class (my thighs and butt may never recover lol) then a 30 minute weight session and 30 minutes on the treadmill...so worked out for 90 minutes. Tomorrow night i am planning to do 45 minutes on the treadmill and then 45 minute zumba class.

I am really looking forward to the new weight watchers plan....kinda seems like you cannot fail on it! As a xmas gift to myself i am buying a "kit" next week....the new ww scales, 6 month magazine subscription, cookbook and a few other bits and pieces :)

I am in a very good head space for my weight loss...I think it is a LONG time since i felt so in the right head space. Taken me a long time...but i think the whole "gotta eat non processed food" has finally sunk into my brain!

Okies...time for sleep....5.30am comes early!

Uh oh....those damn scales....

So my scales seem up by about 2 kilos. I havent gone over my points in fact when the scales first went up I had only eaten about 3 weekly points. Anyway normally this would mean I go off track...but no...I am pretty sure i know whats going on. Mostly I think its lack of exercise and eating too much carbs and processed foods.

So i am planning to head back towards more of how I ate before when I lost weight. One of the issues is some of the foods i ate before....because i ate the same thing day in and day out...i cannot stand the thought of LOL. That being mostly weetbix and burgen bread. So breakfast will be oats and protein powder and water (which i love) or scrambled eggs with vegies (which I also love). I plan on having a sandwich for lunch and dinner just protein and vegies and some kind of fat. I did think of doing healthy and filling...but...the big reason i didnt is that salmon fillets are not included. My snacks is prolly my biggest downfall...im gonna have a banana and peanut butter for morning tea....and afternoon tea a apple with a cheesestick or sultanas and a protein shake....I need to make sure I eat foods I like so I will stick to it.

Exercise wise I really need to ramp it up this week. This week should look like this:

monday : 50 minute walk
tuesday : TTT class and PT session
wednesday : cardio (slow steady state on treadmill) followed by zumba class
thursday : Body pump class and PT session
friday : body pump
saturday : body pump + body balance

Hopefully the scales will start to move down over the next day or so but ill suck up whatever the scales say and move on :)

Update

So i went to weigh in on monday night and lost 2.7 kilos which i was very happy with...then walked home which took 30 minutes so a lil bit of exercise.

Tuesday I returned to the gym. My plan for the week was simply to do 2 PT sessions and 1 class. The 2 PT sessions i did. Tuesday we did boxing and thursday we did a cardio/weights session. The weights I did was 20 kilos on chest press and 10 kilo bar for military press. The plan is tomorrow I will go in and do Body Pump. Returning to the gym this time I feel a lil different....I just feel headspace wise I am ready to increase my workouts. I know when you add in the gym it can sometimes do crazy things to the scales but more important then that is to remember all the added benefits to the gym....mental health, cardiovascular improvement, strength and even for me a sense of appetite suppresent.

Next week I finish work either at 5pm or 5.30pm so another week where my gym time will be limited...also on the saturday I have an appointment at home at 9.30am so I cannot make the gym...but the plan will be:

monday : 30 minute walk
tuesday : PT followed with 20 minutes cardio
wednesday : Rest day
thursday : PT followed with 20 minutes cardio
friday : Rest day
saturday : Rest day

So as you can see....its still not a big exercise week...but that is mainly due to finishing work so late. I could theoretically go to the gym tuesday and wednesday before work. The classes those mornings are tuesday there is a RPM class and wednesday a boxfit class....but maybe instead of doing either I might just go in and do some cardio for 45 minutes each morning. Following this week I am back to early finishes which means I have more choice of classes.

Weight wise....well ive kept a eye on the scales this week...and not looking promising LOL....i may even have a small gain - which is not uncommon when I have had a big loss the previous week. I am sure the heat we had the last few days hasnt helped either...but just gotta keep plodding on. Admittedly this week I havent really had my oats and protein powder for breakfast ... have been opting for fruit toast....so should knock that habit on the head. Will keep working at it all :)

Catch up time!

Something has happened over the last few weeks...and last night it made me realise something. Now I cannot go into everything that has occurred. But its to do with relationships.

A few years ago I dated someone....it (obviously lol) didnt work out...at the time i remember being out running with fiona saying "no more" "im too old for these games" Now i am not blaming this for my weight game...but we know our mindset is a huge part of weight loss..I do think it contributed to my mindset.

If you go back to one of my first posts on this journal back in 2006 (might even be the first one) ok was the first one...i checked in fact it was in the first sentance:

Day 1 of my journal

Welp this is it .... the new blog/journal. Lemme brief you all were im at...for those who don't know me i am 38 years old, single, lesbian. And wanting my life back .. oh and a girlfriend to go with it would be good too =) 

Getting a relationship and getting my life back were my goals. Simple as that. It wasnt about a number on the scales...and it wasnt about a dress size. But along the way....my first "dating experience" when id lost the weight when it didnt go how i wanted i threw the towel in. A conversation last night where I was asked some things made me realise you know i do want a relationship...the whole hog...not just talk to someone online....but the whole kit and kadoodle. I am not saying tomorrow i am going on a date lol....but it needs to be a goal....and when I admit that to myself that that is what I want....I get a clearer clarity....cos along with that comes the whole "getting my life back" part...I wanna jump on a plane and travel....i want to experience new cultures....i want to enhance my friendship base....i want to have more "experiences" and that I think is what "getting my life back" is about....more experiences.

Tomorrow I return for my first full week of ww with meetings....I snuck a peak at the scales this morning...not sure if they are up or down because of the fact i didnt weight the first 3 days of this past week, I also had my cycle so my weight has been all over the place...we will wait and see.

In other news. Someone said a comment the other day "100% out or 100 in"...following boredom a few evenings at home I decided it was time to get off my lazy butt and get back to the gym. And yes I did return to Fernwood :) When I resigned up....I knew I had some PT sessions left over...but wasnt sure how many...so asked...had NINE of the lil buggers! LOL So i have signed back up with my previous trainer Stacey....and will be training tuesday and thursday nights....which is perfect. I like the sessions to be spread out a lil...and I cannot go on Monday nights cos of WW so that works great :) Im very keen to get into it...im keen to see the increase in my ww activity points....on work days i currently earn 2-3 and i earnt 14 this week with no exercise so will be interesting to see how much they climb :)

And thats about it! Have a good new week :)

100% in or 100% out

I was thinking tonight about why I started on this weight loss journey. When I started in 2006 it wasnt to become a size 10, it wasnt to become the fittest person walking down the street....and it wasnt to wear a particular size. I had a fear of becoming that person confined to their home living on welfare, I was worried I would be featured on today tonight when firemen would have to break doors down to get me out of my home...I literally needed to save my life.

Now obviously I have not been near that kind of dire situation for about 9 years, its a different battle now....i still am trying to save my life (cos getting back to 170+ kilos is not really that far away) but it is now about wearing a size 10, it is now about being able to run 10kms, it is about getting into the best physical shape to live as healthy for as long as possible.

Tonight I didnt eat perfect. No binge but eating didnt go as planned. The last few nights I have definitely been bored in the evening....there is only so many evenings in a row of coming home and watching netflix i can handle LOL The other thing is being idle in the evenings doesnt help with the avoiding foods, that was one of the reasons why i exercised so much when i lost the weight before....cos it meant i wasnt mindlessly eating.

The odd thing is too i feel kinda like i have too many daily points. I like just enough food to keep me satisfied...but 40 points is quite a lot.  Ive tracked tomorrows food already....including snacks...and i have 14 points spare....thats a trap in my opinion...cos it can lead me to making unwise choices for more-ish foods.

But anyway starting tomorrow i want to go back to some of the "rules" i use to have before. No grains at dinner time (except on saturday nights), aiming for fruit and/or vegetables with all snacks/meals (apart from breakfast), going for unprocessed options.

Exercise wise i need to really decide. I mean im pretty sure ive decided what to do....just gonna sleep on it tonight. I read a saying today....either 100% in or 100% out. So whilst i was feeling a bit done with the gym a few weeks ago i think i am ready to get back into it all.

Oh another thing I noticed and I got back into starting today...and that was daily weighing....i know a lot dont like to do it...but i am so much more mindful about what i put in my body when i weigh daily.

Also back to exercise, i want this time things to be a bit more balanced. Monday nights will not be a gym night as i will be going to weight watchers,....the good news is tho i walk 20 minutes to the meeting and 30 minutes home...so theres a 50 minute walk each day :) I think 4 nights a week plus a walk on sundays for the moment would work. I definitely want to do zumba classes, body pump, body balance and maybe RPM. That would be my focus going back with some cardio (walking). I need to find my ipod too...I had a lil shuffle which i use to clip to my tshirt...havent seen it for ever,,,,definite gym necessity!

Redo over....Starting back at weight watchers :)

Ive been meaning to post but so slack sometimes!

The good news is i returned to weight watcher meetings :) The bad news? Weighing in the week my cycle was due, on a 36 degree day, in jeans and sneakers and after having eaten all day meant I was heavier then my weight when I did my first weigh in for online LOL So starting weight was 122.9 kilos and 40 points a day. So far I have stuck to my daily points every day (yay me) have used no activity or weekly ones :)

Then of course at the meeting....the discussion was on "metabolism" and yanno about different things that affect your metabolism....and of course the amount of muscle you have effects your metabolism....and as i sat around people who were saying they go to the gym etc I was of course thinking...if I wanna do this properly I do need to get structure back and get back to the gym.

Am i about to return to a gym? Im not sure....on one hand I want too...on the other hand since i have had this "break" i dont want to return without have the real desire.

The next question of course as well...is....which gym. I have around me numerous gyms....as well as a few fitness studios...there is a fitness studio 5 minutes from my house....but it is classes only and not Les Mills ones.

I guess when I get down to it....what I want/need.....is a supportive gym, with regular les mills classes.
When I think about it the things i need to consider is: travel, cost, support, les mills classes. To be honest the jetts around the corner from me wins on the travel and cost....the support and les mills classes well fernwood would win. Is it worth sacrificing the support and the quality classes for something being closer and a little cheaper? Im thinking not.

The one thing I do know...is no PT. I have come to realise I was spoilt by Fiona...and no one else will really ever match up to her LOL....the only thing I would consider doing is some outdoor sessions (ie running with fiona) and she may not even be interested! lol....and I think at the moment i am too large for that anyways (thinking about my joints) also i dont like running in the heat (and well neither does Fiona lol) but maybe march/april i would have a talk with her about doing sessions if i was at a good place mentally and committed to my journey.

So thats the update...where things are currently at :)

Week 1 weigh in

*drumroll* I lost an amazing 3.8 kilos :) Now that said thats not uncommon for me the first week back on track to lose in excess of 3 kilos. So that takes me to 118.6 kilos and my total loss is 54.5 kilos...would be nice to be back at 55 kilos lost next week :)

But now the first week is done...its time to consider this coming week and future weeks. My daily points dropped to 38 points. My focus will be to stick to the daily points and not use any of the weekly or activity points. My goal is to simply aim for a average from this week on of half a kilo a week. I think in the past I put too much pressure on myself....getting annoyed at anything that was under a 1 kilo loss. Not this time...I dont even care if some weeks it is a 200 gram loss....they all add up.

If I could aim for a half kilo loss per week I should be to double digits my July. So thats my focus by July 30 to be a double digit girl....but no pressure!

As i discussed yesterday, and the more I think about it the more content i am with this decision....no formal exercise till i am a double digit girl. I will prolly get into walking more...but nothing formal. I do seem to lose better when I dont exercise for some strange reason (think cos then the balance of energy is spot on....once i add in exercise it brings in the whole....am i eating enough to fuel my workouts etc) plus I kinda think....having the exercise in my back pocket to use down the track is not a bad thing.

Reflection : Giving up the gym

So its been about 10 days since i decided to quit the gym. It really was a hard decision to make and even once I had made the decision I felt bad...I felt guilty. Admittedly that only lasted for about 24 hours! LOL

So am I glad I am currently not a member of a gym? Actually yes. Doing that and going back to weight watchers has allowed me to focus simply on my eating. Theres no pressure. Simply stick to my daily points, eat nutritional food but try and eat foods I really enjoy. I have stuck to my daily points every day except melbourne cup day (altho wednesday I was accidently under by 2 points) and I have used 20 of my weekly points. Tomorrow is weigh in and I am hoping for a good result. :)

So stepping away from the gym has allowed me at my own pace to start to think about what are MY fitness goals, and when I do return to the gym I dont want to exercise "for weight loss" whatever track I go down I simply want to be active/exercise to support whatever fitness goal I have at the time. I keep going back to when I trained with Fiona, who I obviously had my best results with. Fiona always had I felt a unique approach .... I always felt she had a very holistic approach. The very first time I met Fiona....I stumbled while getting off a bike and I remember telling her I hated the gym....that it felt like a chore (sounds familiar eh?) at the end of that session...she wasnt saying to me...."our focus will be for you to lose 50 kilos"....it was "our focus will be on your balance and getting you to not hate the gym" In the years I trained with her she very rarely, if ever asked me about my weight loss. Sure it was discussed but mostly that was when I bought up the topic....I never felt pressure from her that there was a expectation to lose a set amount each week...or get down to a number on the scales.....her focus was always just on getting me a bit happier with myself. I use to do 3 PT sessions a week...the first year or so we did one which was strength training....one which was boxing (simply cos of the fact I loved boxing) and one was a focus on core and balance. Fiona was always led by me....she would tell me i know when to change things up from the conversations we had...especially in the beginning tho it was just about trying to enjoy the gym. And yanno i never "loved" the gym....but I enjoyed our sessions...I liked the variety and I became dedicated to the gym.

So anyway its led me to believe this break from the gym is doing me the world of good. Its definitely a weight lifted off my shoulders....its also led me to a point of slowly just reassessing fitness goals that i want. By not talking to others and being influenced by only my brain and nothing else....it is allowing me to get some clarity. Now that said...I prolly wont return to a gym till I am under 100 kilos. So where my head is at currently for fitness goals is:

1. zumba classes - i did one at my old gym....really enjoyed it so thats something Id like to do when I return to activity
2. adult ballet classes - this is prolly something more for when I am at goal but its always been at the back of my mind. I did ballet for years and was really good at it....so would love to get back into it at some point.
3.  running a half marathon - When i first joined a gym at 160 kilos...i would see these girls run on a treadmill...always seemed like ostritches....they just flew like they were weightless....and as a 160 kilo girl that was always a focus. Of course in the past i did run 12km in the city to bay...fiona used to tell me....you will never be a sprinter lol. Running has always been a goal for me and im a slow and steady person so eventually a half marathon would be a good goal.

I think when I do rejoin a gym....i will prolly do some strength training maybe twice a week....but the difference this time is i would prolly research strength training to support running goals. When I initially return also my focus wouldnt be on HIIT training (not knocking it just at my weight dont see the fitness benefit of doing 5 sprints for 30 seconds...now I know it makes you fitter and I know its good for weight loss...but as i said...i will want to exercise for my fitness goals (ie running) and this will be when i first rejoin) at that point my focus will be on slow, steady state cardio....I will be wanting to build up the time I can exercise. Cos not only do i ENJOY that more...the way i see it....thats what half marathon runners do!

Day 1 back at weight watchers :)

So I ended up deciding to bite the bullet and sign up for weight watchers online this morning :) So I drew that line in the sand and weighed in:

So the starting weight is 122.4 kilos. Because I decided to sign up so late last night I wasnt overly organised today but did manage to stick to my daily points (39 points). My aim will be only to use the weekly points in emergencies unless i am not losing (and that would prolly only if i am exercising) Tonight i pulled out a protein ball i had in the freezer....boiled some eggs....a lite jelly....plus oats and protein powder for breakfast and lunch time some vita-weets (6) with 80 grams of cream cheese. And tomorrow night will be a miso salmon with a soba noodle salad (like one of my favourite meals!)

Its a very nice feeling thinking right at the moment that I really only need to focus on my eating.

Im really not thinking about the gym. I think before I even decide what gym or whatever ill go back to next year...while everyone says "left heavy" i dont think thats what I want. If i honestly think about "exercise goals" id like to eventually go back to adult ballet classes and the ultimate goal would be to run a half marathon. And while yes I would want to do some lifting....I wouldnt want to focus on that....endurance and cardio fitness will be my focus. But thats not till next year! :)

My ankle joint is really painful today - i think its related to my weight...the sooner i get closer to 100 kilos the better for my joints!

Where to now?

So those who follow my weight loss facebook group (and if you dont why not???? jk) will know ive made a few decisions of late.

So what were the decisions? The first one was a big one and even after posting I still felt really guilty about it...today a few days later I am feeling quite content with the decision :) AND the decision was to take a break from attending a gym. Ive done it for years and just tired of it. I was putting money into gym memberships and personal trainers....but I wasnt putting 100% of me into it. For months now its felt like a job. Something I had to do and didnt really enjoy doing and when I skipped a night feeling incredibly guilty. So I came to the conclusion to take a break from it and focus on my eating.

Which led me too...what am I going to do about my eating? What do I really need if I ever want to be successful? The answer to that for me, and most likely most people is support. And that was a main factor in deciding I will return to weight watchers. In a perfect world i would attend meetings...but people! This is not a perfect world ;) so I will be doing it online. The ww community on instagram is quite big and that was a huge factor in this decision. I have since also joined a ww FB group which is rather active....lots of threads on food ideas, the plan etc so Im spending quite a bit of time on there! My plan is to resign up on saturday 7th as I want a lil break from tracking. I am planning to prolly buy some ww food scales this week (as mine are not reliable) and start to spend time being creative with my food, as fiona would say, start to focus on enjoying my journey.

My achilles is still a issue. I am doing my calve stretches...will give that a few weeks and then if no difference I will need to see a podiatrist to get orthotics.

As to the gym I definitely wont step into one again this year lol. Maybe early next year, or maybe ill look at doing workouts at home. Certainly I think I have invested enough money on PTs over the years...if i want a successful exercise life....once the time comes I think I will rely on myself and motivate myself (and really there is so much free information on the net and I have good form I dont really need a PT)

Things are good! :)

So things are going ridiculously well! I feel happier then I have for a long time :)

I was nervous about returning to Goodlife....but funny thing happened....Ive just realised this is about me and no one else...so I really have had like a lightbulb moment where I dont care who else is in the gym! I did PT both tuesday and thursday night for 45 minutes each...followed by some HIIT. Today I went in and did my first workout alone...this was like at 11am....quite a few males working out in the weights area...but i didnt let it bother...got in there and got the business done! It took me a lil under a hour....was a combination of weights and HIIT.

Foodwise I have been eating 1850 calories. When I weighed in on tuesday I was down 2 kilos...so was down to 121.9 kilos. I then fluctuated up a lil (cos i think i had DOMs) but this morning i was down 1.4 kilos from last tuesdays weigh in :) My activity levels have definitely improved without going crazy. Walking 5 days a week for a hour. And now 45-60 minutes at the gym 5 nights a week :)

I think mentally the walking at lunchtime...going down to the lake even tho im only there for 7-8 minutes has really helped me. Plus i think that increase of activity allows me to eat a bit more calories...i am all for that! Pretty much my workout routine for the next few weeks is :

monday: 1 hour walking + legs workout
tuesday: 1 hour walking + PT session (full body workout) + 10 minutes HIIT
wednesday: 1 hour walking + cardio workout
thursday: PT session (intervals) + 10 minutes HIIT
friday: Upper workout
saturday: 1 hour walking
sunday: 1 hour walking

September 9

So yesterday I went to the dietician and exercise physiologist. I had a few questions before going which I feel were answered. The biggest one being why can I be eating the exact same thing....and one week gain and one week lose. They explained thats simply my PCOS and when that happens....it could last for as much as SIX weeks! But it is simply a case of sticking with it...the scales will eventually move again.

The dietitian basically told me to cut back on my protein and to eat low fat and low GI, especially dairy. She also told me to only eat 1300 calories. Honestly the truth? I think I can eat approx 1600 calories and lose...I think my focus needs to be on exercise. I have sent a message thru to Candice at goodlife to see about PT....if she can train me ill do 30 minute sessions twice a week.

My fluids certainly need improving .... nothing crazy just want to ensure i drink 1.5 litres a day....so far today I have drank 1.2 litres.

As well as PT .... I just wanna get walking and doing classes. Thats what worked before.

Hopefully my achilles is also on the improve...I saw a physio today...she massaged the crap out of my calve. It hurt a incredible amount...and she has given me stretches....so hopefully they will help!

And Candice just messaged me...she is happy to train me again...so hopefully that will start in the next week or so...just working out times etc :)

Time for a long weekend!

So things have been happening :)

I decided due to the PT stuff to switch gyms where there are PTs available in evenings. So I have signed up for a new gym...but i will wait a week or so before organising PT, simply cos I want to see the dietitian and exercise physiologist first - and I have a appointment for both of them on thursday :) I am positive I will do PT twice a week...but I want to go to them with what the exercise physiologist says. I am actually hoping to train with my old trainer Candice...if not I will go in completely the other direction and go with a male trainer :) Figuring maybe changing things up will work...but Ill wait and see if Candice can train me first.

I will be starting at the gym on tuesday. Only reason I am not this weekend is cos of my achilles. I think I figured out that the shoes of being wearing of late have been making it worse. Normally I wear asics but ive been wearing nike 5.0's and they really have no support so I have been actively doing stretches...started last night wearing the asics again...hopefully it will at least improve by tuesday...i think that most likely in a few weeks time it will be time for a physio visit (i hate going to physios tho cos they always try to flog off pilattes classes and chit)

I do feel like this is all a good move for me and most importantly the right move for me.

My sister is down in Adelaide at the moment...believe we are out for dinner and a movie tonight....should be good....enjoy your long weekend all :)