I didnt go to the gym tonight...I should have.
I knew I couldnt make the body pump class so I thought nope not going....in reality tho I shoulda gone and done my own workout.
When I first joined the gym all those flipping years ago....one of my goals (apart from the running goal...blah,blah) was to be able to do low pushups on my toes. I have always known obviously you need strong chest muscles, and I have always guessed strong biceps/shoulders....I didnt realise triceps play a important role in that exercise (altho why I didnt when you think about the movement is beyond me!)
I am quite pathetically weak when it comes to my triceps. Its one of the tracks in body pump where I am always scrambling for the lightest weights, altho overhead tricep extensions I am okay at....I can do those with 7 kilo dumbbells....prolly even higher....but other exercises...kick backs...skullcrushers....tricep dips i am kinda pathetic at! So i really want to several times a week incorporate barbell and dumb bell bench press, chest press machine....but also tricep exercises especially tricep dips...to be honest I dont know too many tricep exercises...tricep pushups, skull crushers, dips, kickbacks...I really need to try and focus on doing them several times a week so maybe one day I can do a half decent pushup (trust me when on my toes my arms barely bend! lol)
In another 4 weeks my work roster is changing....I will have sundays and mondays off and will be finishing at 4pm which is a fraction later then currently but will prolly workout better. Since my alarm currently goes off at 5.30am i have a lil rule that I need to be out of the gym by 6.30pm at the latest....so my alarm wont need to go off till 6.30am (yay) so i can stay at the gym till as late as 7.30pm. As I will have mondays off...I will try and do PT before the lunch time classes on monday...so my aim will be to do PT....body pump then body balance....which is very similar to the routine I use to do on saturday mornings with Fiona a trillion years ago lol, and will give me a day with a pretty high calorie burn. Ill then go to the gym after work tuesday to friday nights...I will prolly try to fit in some 5.30pm classes...so while I cannot guarantee i will always finish at 4pm (can be as late as 5pm) it is looking like i will prolly be on 4pm finishes which should work just dandy!
Not much else going on....altho I will have a few challenging moments next week! Thursday lunch going to the mawson lakes hotel for dinner....and as I am so fussy...there is a limited number of options for me...saturday night I have a friends birthday and we are going out to a pub near her place....hopefully they have a good option for me....I am still hoping my the 20th i am under 118 kilos....altho haha in all honesty not looking overly promising..but my cals will be lowered again next week which will hopefully lead to more consistent losses. :)
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Weigh in results
So the scales finally moved! YAY! I was done 2 kilos this morning...so damn happy with that.
And yanno without sounding like a big head I totally deserved that loss! Even tho with that fluid gain it was hard and i wanted to throw a rock thru a window lol....i knew my eating and working out didnt deserve a gain....I knew physically it was impossible to gain on what I had been eating. But knew I just had to stay the course and the results would eventually reflect on the scales - and they did. So as of this morning I was 119.2 kilos and on the scales at food coaching I was 119.8 kilos....so definitely in the "teens"
I have been lately sneaking off into the boxing room at the gym and doing my workouts. I much prefer it....usually there is never anyone else in there....and it has quite a bit of a equipment in there....so I can do a mix of stuff....tonight i went in there did some boxing, then did 12 reps of dead lifts (20 kilos), 3 sets of 12 bench press (first set 10 kilos, set 2 & 3 15 kilos), 12 reps of bicep curls (10 kilos), tricep extensions (7 kilos), 12 steps on each leg with 7 kilo weight in each hand, 12 pushups, 25 medicine ball throw downs and then a lil agility work....I then went on the cycle and cross trainer for a lil bit. I burnt 737 calories in 71 minutes - so that is a really good workout - very happy with that! You will notice none of my weights in the strength work is very high....the reason for that is I am more focused on cardio then strength work currently....so while I include it (and I must admit deadlifts and bench press are favourites so will prolly always feature in my workouts i create) my aim is more to lift heavy where I feel the pressure but to keep going and try to keep the heart rate up....at this stage "heavy lifting" isnt on my agenda....maybe when at goal.
Today was my first day back at work after my very long weekend and already I am dying for the weekend! haha. What a lazy lush I am! ;)
Possibly going to get my hair cut and coloured this weekend....I want to get it done but unsure what to get done so am not rushing into it (i desperately need it tho!)
Tomorrow night will hopefully make it in time for body pump and then a 10km bike ride
:)
And yanno without sounding like a big head I totally deserved that loss! Even tho with that fluid gain it was hard and i wanted to throw a rock thru a window lol....i knew my eating and working out didnt deserve a gain....I knew physically it was impossible to gain on what I had been eating. But knew I just had to stay the course and the results would eventually reflect on the scales - and they did. So as of this morning I was 119.2 kilos and on the scales at food coaching I was 119.8 kilos....so definitely in the "teens"
I have been lately sneaking off into the boxing room at the gym and doing my workouts. I much prefer it....usually there is never anyone else in there....and it has quite a bit of a equipment in there....so I can do a mix of stuff....tonight i went in there did some boxing, then did 12 reps of dead lifts (20 kilos), 3 sets of 12 bench press (first set 10 kilos, set 2 & 3 15 kilos), 12 reps of bicep curls (10 kilos), tricep extensions (7 kilos), 12 steps on each leg with 7 kilo weight in each hand, 12 pushups, 25 medicine ball throw downs and then a lil agility work....I then went on the cycle and cross trainer for a lil bit. I burnt 737 calories in 71 minutes - so that is a really good workout - very happy with that! You will notice none of my weights in the strength work is very high....the reason for that is I am more focused on cardio then strength work currently....so while I include it (and I must admit deadlifts and bench press are favourites so will prolly always feature in my workouts i create) my aim is more to lift heavy where I feel the pressure but to keep going and try to keep the heart rate up....at this stage "heavy lifting" isnt on my agenda....maybe when at goal.
Today was my first day back at work after my very long weekend and already I am dying for the weekend! haha. What a lazy lush I am! ;)
Possibly going to get my hair cut and coloured this weekend....I want to get it done but unsure what to get done so am not rushing into it (i desperately need it tho!)
Tomorrow night will hopefully make it in time for body pump and then a 10km bike ride
:)
Sunday, June 07, 2015
Intensity
Last night I went out for dinner. We were going to end up in Nth Adelaide but couldnt find a park so came back to my place and went to a lil italian place at the top of my street lol. Ive had their food before but never ate in the restuarant. Its a lil family business and admittedly I went over my calories by about 300-400 calories :( But I didnt eat anything bad...Me and my friend shared a bruschetta, then I had a raviolli with amatriciana (a tomato based sauce with bacon and chilli) and then we went for a coffee (I dont drink coffee) so had a skim hot chocolate.
Then when I got home my cycle had arrived...thank gawd! Hopefully over the next few days Ill lose some of this fluid. While my calories are suppose to be under 1650 calories...Im not gonna beat myself up over 400 calories. I have no social plans next weekend so no reason not to stick to my 1650 calories.
While at dinner I was talking to Martine...and I realised....that prolly while my exercise has increased a lil...I prolly am not working out (apart from PT sessions) at the right intensity. Yanno sitting on the bike isnt exactly intensive LOL...not to say there isnt a place for steady state cardio...just not for the majority of my exercise.
When I was this weight last time....I lot of "fill in cardio" i did...cardio between classes, before PT etc....was jogging 1 minute intervals on the treadmill....but after falling last year i dont even like walking on the treadmill these days lol. I use to do combat a lot...but after falling in that class 5-6 times and the last time breaking my wrist i totally cannot do that class...i need to work out a exercise routine...that works...and will give me the losses....
My exercise program before looked like this (when i was this weight)
monday : combat or boxing plus PT
tuesday : 40 minutes cardio
wednesday : 45 mins boxing plus 45 mins studio cycle
thursday : 45 mins body pump plus PT
friday : 60 mins body pump
saturday : PT plus 30 mins cardio plus 60 mins pump plus 60 mins body balance
sunday : 60 minute walk
So in summary :
4 hours cardio at gym
1 hour walking
3 pump classes
1 body balance class
3 PT sessions
I can certainly do 2-3 pump classes a week, the body balance class I can manage, I am doing 2 PT sessions...and 1 hour of walking is do-able. What I need to work on is the 4 hours of cardio. I need to get a better workout routine...the problem is at the moment i walk into the gym and i dont go in there with "intent"....i do have a membership to Jillians site and it does give daily workouts on the app so maybe ill start to do that...dunno...I just want to work it out....and I want it to be something thats progressive...yanno that i can improve not something where its just doing some cardio for the sake of cardio if that makes sense....
So i need to give this a lot more thought...not sure what I will do yet.....but need to work this out!
Then when I got home my cycle had arrived...thank gawd! Hopefully over the next few days Ill lose some of this fluid. While my calories are suppose to be under 1650 calories...Im not gonna beat myself up over 400 calories. I have no social plans next weekend so no reason not to stick to my 1650 calories.
While at dinner I was talking to Martine...and I realised....that prolly while my exercise has increased a lil...I prolly am not working out (apart from PT sessions) at the right intensity. Yanno sitting on the bike isnt exactly intensive LOL...not to say there isnt a place for steady state cardio...just not for the majority of my exercise.
When I was this weight last time....I lot of "fill in cardio" i did...cardio between classes, before PT etc....was jogging 1 minute intervals on the treadmill....but after falling last year i dont even like walking on the treadmill these days lol. I use to do combat a lot...but after falling in that class 5-6 times and the last time breaking my wrist i totally cannot do that class...i need to work out a exercise routine...that works...and will give me the losses....
My exercise program before looked like this (when i was this weight)
monday : combat or boxing plus PT
tuesday : 40 minutes cardio
wednesday : 45 mins boxing plus 45 mins studio cycle
thursday : 45 mins body pump plus PT
friday : 60 mins body pump
saturday : PT plus 30 mins cardio plus 60 mins pump plus 60 mins body balance
sunday : 60 minute walk
So in summary :
4 hours cardio at gym
1 hour walking
3 pump classes
1 body balance class
3 PT sessions
I can certainly do 2-3 pump classes a week, the body balance class I can manage, I am doing 2 PT sessions...and 1 hour of walking is do-able. What I need to work on is the 4 hours of cardio. I need to get a better workout routine...the problem is at the moment i walk into the gym and i dont go in there with "intent"....i do have a membership to Jillians site and it does give daily workouts on the app so maybe ill start to do that...dunno...I just want to work it out....and I want it to be something thats progressive...yanno that i can improve not something where its just doing some cardio for the sake of cardio if that makes sense....
So i need to give this a lot more thought...not sure what I will do yet.....but need to work this out!
Saturday, June 06, 2015
Saturday June 6th
So the scales did a teensy tiny drop on the scales overnight after jumping up another 500 grams yesterday. Was I concerned by that gain? Maybe slightly....but the logical side of me kicked in....my clothes did not feel any tighter in fact if anything my jeans felt a lil looser....when i jumped on the scales my body fat was the lowest i had seen it on my scales .... plus I knew I had not eaten over my calories...in fact I had lowered them!
I realise times like this is about being consistent cos the losses have to come sooner or later. I still do think the gain is prolly fluid related to my cycle...the odd thing is that my cycle still hasnt made a appearance...oh well...nothing to do but wait it out and stay on track.
Last night i went into the gym after work and did a 60 minute body pump class. When I started going back to classes 5-6 weeks ago...first class i did (and in fact only class i have done so far lol) was body pump...and in that first class while doing the squat track i felt a twinge in my back...same spot i hurt it last year....so ive been careful with my squats since.....being really conscious of my form and not going to deep....happily last night i went to normal depth on my squats and my back was perfectly fine.
After the gym I went and purchase a fitbit charge HR which i am super happy with...looking forward to testing it next week.
Not a heck of a lot else going on....going out for dinner tonight...I picked the restuarant....and it has a steamed barramundi dish so thats what I will be having :)
I realise times like this is about being consistent cos the losses have to come sooner or later. I still do think the gain is prolly fluid related to my cycle...the odd thing is that my cycle still hasnt made a appearance...oh well...nothing to do but wait it out and stay on track.
Last night i went into the gym after work and did a 60 minute body pump class. When I started going back to classes 5-6 weeks ago...first class i did (and in fact only class i have done so far lol) was body pump...and in that first class while doing the squat track i felt a twinge in my back...same spot i hurt it last year....so ive been careful with my squats since.....being really conscious of my form and not going to deep....happily last night i went to normal depth on my squats and my back was perfectly fine.
After the gym I went and purchase a fitbit charge HR which i am super happy with...looking forward to testing it next week.
Not a heck of a lot else going on....going out for dinner tonight...I picked the restuarant....and it has a steamed barramundi dish so thats what I will be having :)
Thursday, June 04, 2015
Most challenging week so far
The title says it....mentally this was a hard week.
Thats due to a few things....getting sick from jumping my protein up high too quickly...then calorie cycling but realising right at the moment that 1200 calorie days are hard to implement (which I always put in my calorie cycles at least for one day)....then the scales for some bizarre reason jumped up 1.4 kilos on monday. Then tuesday some crap happened outside of my weight loss/gym etc....which made me wanna throw a tantrum and not play anymore lol
It was a bit of a struggle going to PT tuesday night....I really just wanted to go home and have some quiet time to process the gain and work it out in my head. Instead I went to the gym, I had about 45 minutes before PT and so went into the boxing room which was thankfully empty and hit the bag a lot ;) and then did some deadlifts (prolly my favourite weight exercise), some dumbbell shoulder presses and some bent over rows. (I really think I should do more barbell work when on my own - deadlifts, bench press, bicep curls, shoulder presses - notice no squat and lunges? lol I am not a fan of leg exercises lol) Then I did PT which funnily enough turned out to be boxing too LOL.
Anyway so I ended up giving it quite a lot of thought and discussed it a bit with Lauren (my food coach) and for the next two weeks my calories have been lowered to 1650 calories. Talking to Lauren last night....got me thinking about a few things.....in the beginning i had a lil gain thanks to bacon and sodium and Lauren commented last night how I am prolly "sodium sensitive" which I think is prolly correct. We also talked about my fat content specifically for my peanut butter....now when I lost the weight before I never are peanut butter till i was prolly under 90 kilos....I rarely ate avocado....rarely ate cheese (apart from feta on salads or over vegies) I also rarely ate grains at night (maybe once a week?) and I tried to eat organic wherever possible. I dont really eat like that these days cos I have been trying to "enjoy my weight loss" but yanno I am back into the swing of things....this week I will try and avoid processed foods (not that I eat a lot...but oven fries, processed chicken etc) and I will also not have cheese (apart from feta). The benefit of cutting out cheese is two fold....one the more i think about it i did eat "low fat" when i lost my weight before...now i dont mean i ate a pile of low fat products like low fat ice cream etc....just i didnt eat a lot of foods that were high in fat...I didnt eat a lot of avocado (in fact i only discoverred avocado when close to goal!), didnt eat a lot of cheese, olive oil. pb, nut butters etc etc Now thats not to say they are "bad foods" - they aren't. But each of our bodies reach differently to different macro and micronutrients and I am starting to wonder if for weight loss if mine responds better to the lower fat content. The other thing...and this relates specifically to cheese...has nothing to do with avocado, olive oil etc....cheese is pretty high in sodium. Like I can have a 20 gram bega cheese stringer stick...its like a lousy 59 calories and got like 5.5 grams of protein....so if you look at those details thats pretty good....but it is 140 milligrams of sodium. Now in a perfect world i like to keep my sodium about 1400-1800. I prefer not to have real fluctuations in that figure super high or super low....cos if you go super low it can appear you have lost more then you really have (fluid loss) but anyway....140 milligrams of 59 calories....to me is not a good ratio. So thats the other reason in relation to the cheese.
Today I changed my diet a lil....really the only processed food i had all day was a quest bar (and im not giving those suckers up at this point!) I ate well...prolly my biggest struggle food wise is my afternoon snack....before i would eat like cheese sticks....or a banana with pb...today i had two dates (nom nom nom) and 20 grams of walnuts...id like to eat something i look forward too...walnuts in all honesty while i can shove them down my gob i dont love. Funny story, we had a walnut tree when i was a kid...i use to crack those suckers open on the pavement and just eat them lol....maybe i ate them too much...cos now they seem incredibly dry to me LOL.
Anyway, so this week was challenging. I watched a video over the weekend (i think) on you tube...cos im like addicted to the fitness channels over there! But anyway one of the girls i watch is in preparation for a bikini competition...so anyway....she has been cutting and her weight loss not moving....and she commented that its times like these were you really are at a fork in the road....you either stick to your plan....or you choose to throw it away and go off track....I am really glad and proud i stuck to the plan...consistency is key. I remember when i lost my weight before and sometimes i would have these moments where i would have unexplained gains or no movement on the scales....and sometimes would go eat bad....and the reason (well my thinking) at least then I could in my head explain the gain....and sometimes for me thats the hard part....I know fluctuations happen....but big fluctuations i need a explaination for (even if i wont always get one!) The odd thing too is....I had the gain....the following day I stayed the same and this morning i was down 100 grams....now i know the logic behind it all...to gain 1.2 kilos of FAT i theoretically needed to it 7000 calories over my maintenance level....well i can assure you this gal did not do that! It cannot stay at this current level or keep gaining for no apparant reason...what goes up....must come down...eventually lol ;)
Thats due to a few things....getting sick from jumping my protein up high too quickly...then calorie cycling but realising right at the moment that 1200 calorie days are hard to implement (which I always put in my calorie cycles at least for one day)....then the scales for some bizarre reason jumped up 1.4 kilos on monday. Then tuesday some crap happened outside of my weight loss/gym etc....which made me wanna throw a tantrum and not play anymore lol
It was a bit of a struggle going to PT tuesday night....I really just wanted to go home and have some quiet time to process the gain and work it out in my head. Instead I went to the gym, I had about 45 minutes before PT and so went into the boxing room which was thankfully empty and hit the bag a lot ;) and then did some deadlifts (prolly my favourite weight exercise), some dumbbell shoulder presses and some bent over rows. (I really think I should do more barbell work when on my own - deadlifts, bench press, bicep curls, shoulder presses - notice no squat and lunges? lol I am not a fan of leg exercises lol) Then I did PT which funnily enough turned out to be boxing too LOL.
Anyway so I ended up giving it quite a lot of thought and discussed it a bit with Lauren (my food coach) and for the next two weeks my calories have been lowered to 1650 calories. Talking to Lauren last night....got me thinking about a few things.....in the beginning i had a lil gain thanks to bacon and sodium and Lauren commented last night how I am prolly "sodium sensitive" which I think is prolly correct. We also talked about my fat content specifically for my peanut butter....now when I lost the weight before I never are peanut butter till i was prolly under 90 kilos....I rarely ate avocado....rarely ate cheese (apart from feta on salads or over vegies) I also rarely ate grains at night (maybe once a week?) and I tried to eat organic wherever possible. I dont really eat like that these days cos I have been trying to "enjoy my weight loss" but yanno I am back into the swing of things....this week I will try and avoid processed foods (not that I eat a lot...but oven fries, processed chicken etc) and I will also not have cheese (apart from feta). The benefit of cutting out cheese is two fold....one the more i think about it i did eat "low fat" when i lost my weight before...now i dont mean i ate a pile of low fat products like low fat ice cream etc....just i didnt eat a lot of foods that were high in fat...I didnt eat a lot of avocado (in fact i only discoverred avocado when close to goal!), didnt eat a lot of cheese, olive oil. pb, nut butters etc etc Now thats not to say they are "bad foods" - they aren't. But each of our bodies reach differently to different macro and micronutrients and I am starting to wonder if for weight loss if mine responds better to the lower fat content. The other thing...and this relates specifically to cheese...has nothing to do with avocado, olive oil etc....cheese is pretty high in sodium. Like I can have a 20 gram bega cheese stringer stick...its like a lousy 59 calories and got like 5.5 grams of protein....so if you look at those details thats pretty good....but it is 140 milligrams of sodium. Now in a perfect world i like to keep my sodium about 1400-1800. I prefer not to have real fluctuations in that figure super high or super low....cos if you go super low it can appear you have lost more then you really have (fluid loss) but anyway....140 milligrams of 59 calories....to me is not a good ratio. So thats the other reason in relation to the cheese.
Today I changed my diet a lil....really the only processed food i had all day was a quest bar (and im not giving those suckers up at this point!) I ate well...prolly my biggest struggle food wise is my afternoon snack....before i would eat like cheese sticks....or a banana with pb...today i had two dates (nom nom nom) and 20 grams of walnuts...id like to eat something i look forward too...walnuts in all honesty while i can shove them down my gob i dont love. Funny story, we had a walnut tree when i was a kid...i use to crack those suckers open on the pavement and just eat them lol....maybe i ate them too much...cos now they seem incredibly dry to me LOL.
Anyway, so this week was challenging. I watched a video over the weekend (i think) on you tube...cos im like addicted to the fitness channels over there! But anyway one of the girls i watch is in preparation for a bikini competition...so anyway....she has been cutting and her weight loss not moving....and she commented that its times like these were you really are at a fork in the road....you either stick to your plan....or you choose to throw it away and go off track....I am really glad and proud i stuck to the plan...consistency is key. I remember when i lost my weight before and sometimes i would have these moments where i would have unexplained gains or no movement on the scales....and sometimes would go eat bad....and the reason (well my thinking) at least then I could in my head explain the gain....and sometimes for me thats the hard part....I know fluctuations happen....but big fluctuations i need a explaination for (even if i wont always get one!) The odd thing too is....I had the gain....the following day I stayed the same and this morning i was down 100 grams....now i know the logic behind it all...to gain 1.2 kilos of FAT i theoretically needed to it 7000 calories over my maintenance level....well i can assure you this gal did not do that! It cannot stay at this current level or keep gaining for no apparant reason...what goes up....must come down...eventually lol ;)
Tuesday, June 02, 2015
So today was a shit day!
So I woke this morning...stepped on the scales.....now yesterday morning i was 119.8 kilos...this morning 121.2 kilos....i nearly keeled over and had a heart attack!
I can honestly say my eating has been good. Tomorrow it is 4 weeks since my last cycle so half expecting that to make a appearance tomorrow. It is weigh in day tomorrow....and it looks like I will have my first gain :( Oh well...yanno what.....I cannot change that result....and I cannot force my body to lose weight if its holding on to it...or retaining fluid....it is what it is....the only thing I can do is ensure my plan will get me results and stay consistent.
So it played on my mind all day. I have honestly thought for a week or two i need to be on lower calories....i feel i need to be on about 1600-1650 calories. I also think I need to up the ante with my exercise. When i lost my weight before I was only eating 1520 calories when at this weight and I was burning a absolute minimum of 3100 calories a week. I would burn over 1000 calories on saturdays and 3-4 times a week burn at least 600-700 calories. So I think the exercise as well needs to increase.
Tonight I went into the gym...had like 45 minutes before PT. I went on the treadmill for 5 minutes and thought blah! So i went into the boxing room and no one was in there...so i pulled out some boxing gloves and did:
100 right jabs
100 left jabs
100 right hooks
100 left hooks
100 right upper cuts
100 left upper cuts
12 deadlifts with 15 kilos
12 bent over rows with 15 kilos
100 cross jabs
100 hooks
100 uppercuts
12 shoulder presses with 6 kilos
haha! I burnt like 350 calories for doing that lot. Funnily enough Stacey then comes and gets me for PT and says...we are doing boxing LOL. So it was definitely a cardio day and a upper body day! I really like going somewhere by myself and doing stuff (i am such a antisocial so and so) I am pretty sure that room is empty tomorrow before my food coaching session too...so I think I will do a lil legs workout in there...
Walk up 7 flights of stairs
21 weighted squats 20 kilos
21 squat jumps
21 step ups with 8 kilos
21 jumps with skipping rope
21 round house on each leg
Then 18, then 15, then 12....
Then walk up another 7 flights of stairs.
I am going to start being a lot more purposeful about my visits to the gym...not just sit there cycling in a mind numbing way on a bike!
Thats it for today...lets hope tomorrow is a better day!
I can honestly say my eating has been good. Tomorrow it is 4 weeks since my last cycle so half expecting that to make a appearance tomorrow. It is weigh in day tomorrow....and it looks like I will have my first gain :( Oh well...yanno what.....I cannot change that result....and I cannot force my body to lose weight if its holding on to it...or retaining fluid....it is what it is....the only thing I can do is ensure my plan will get me results and stay consistent.
So it played on my mind all day. I have honestly thought for a week or two i need to be on lower calories....i feel i need to be on about 1600-1650 calories. I also think I need to up the ante with my exercise. When i lost my weight before I was only eating 1520 calories when at this weight and I was burning a absolute minimum of 3100 calories a week. I would burn over 1000 calories on saturdays and 3-4 times a week burn at least 600-700 calories. So I think the exercise as well needs to increase.
Tonight I went into the gym...had like 45 minutes before PT. I went on the treadmill for 5 minutes and thought blah! So i went into the boxing room and no one was in there...so i pulled out some boxing gloves and did:
100 right jabs
100 left jabs
100 right hooks
100 left hooks
100 right upper cuts
100 left upper cuts
12 deadlifts with 15 kilos
12 bent over rows with 15 kilos
100 cross jabs
100 hooks
100 uppercuts
12 shoulder presses with 6 kilos
haha! I burnt like 350 calories for doing that lot. Funnily enough Stacey then comes and gets me for PT and says...we are doing boxing LOL. So it was definitely a cardio day and a upper body day! I really like going somewhere by myself and doing stuff (i am such a antisocial so and so) I am pretty sure that room is empty tomorrow before my food coaching session too...so I think I will do a lil legs workout in there...
Walk up 7 flights of stairs
21 weighted squats 20 kilos
21 squat jumps
21 step ups with 8 kilos
21 jumps with skipping rope
21 round house on each leg
Then 18, then 15, then 12....
Then walk up another 7 flights of stairs.
I am going to start being a lot more purposeful about my visits to the gym...not just sit there cycling in a mind numbing way on a bike!
Thats it for today...lets hope tomorrow is a better day!
Non-negotiables & priorities
My latest vlog. This one is me talking about non-negotiables/priorities. Don't forget to like and subscribe :) If you have any questions or suggestions for topics for vlogs leave me a comment here or on my you tube page or send me a private message on my facebook page :)
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Friday, May 29, 2015
A tad too much protein!
Sooooooooooooooooooo! Way too much protein yesterday as it turned out lol. I ate 193 grams yesterday. Before I went to sleep I noticed I had a mild headache....and put that down to eating less carbs (altho it was only about 30 grams less for the day) then about midnight I woke with the sorest stomach cramps. After a while I got up for water and struggled was feeling faint and knew if i didnt get back to bed quick smart I would prolly faint (I have a tendancy to faint)...anyway I was awake at least a hour or so...woke a few hours later to no pain and surprised i had fallen asleep while still in pain (musta been so bloody tired!) woke up this morning feeling flat and still with a headache.
So I cancelled today. No walking and no PT. I still have a slight headache and am tired...but hopefully a good nights rest and I will feel better.
So this morning I emailed Lauren (my food coach) and told her and asked if i should maybe stick to closer to 130 grams of protein and maybe build it up? And should i start calorie cycling again. So she agreed about the protein...suggested we cut 50 calories....so now i am eating 1750 calories per day and calorie cycle.
So people who have followed my journal for years prolly remember how well I did when I calorie cycled. So fingers cross this gets the weight moving! So 1550 calories today and then tomorrow (being saturday which is always my high day) will be 2000 cals. Im confident this will get things moving :) Altho I may need to tweek the numbers a bit...because my calories are so high (1750) the high day I have set at 2000....but that may turn out to be a lil high. I will try and watch the sodum that day by doing that...that should keep the day in control.
Hopefully tomorrow I feel good enough to go and do pump and balance. Afterwards I think I am going to go to katies I think they have a big sale on at the moment so i will go have a nosy.
So I cancelled today. No walking and no PT. I still have a slight headache and am tired...but hopefully a good nights rest and I will feel better.
So this morning I emailed Lauren (my food coach) and told her and asked if i should maybe stick to closer to 130 grams of protein and maybe build it up? And should i start calorie cycling again. So she agreed about the protein...suggested we cut 50 calories....so now i am eating 1750 calories per day and calorie cycle.
So people who have followed my journal for years prolly remember how well I did when I calorie cycled. So fingers cross this gets the weight moving! So 1550 calories today and then tomorrow (being saturday which is always my high day) will be 2000 cals. Im confident this will get things moving :) Altho I may need to tweek the numbers a bit...because my calories are so high (1750) the high day I have set at 2000....but that may turn out to be a lil high. I will try and watch the sodum that day by doing that...that should keep the day in control.
Hopefully tomorrow I feel good enough to go and do pump and balance. Afterwards I think I am going to go to katies I think they have a big sale on at the moment so i will go have a nosy.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Recovery Days
So today our walk got cancelled due to Tania being sore. I was actually glad for this. Sometimes we think we need to go, go, go with exercise. We just need to keep burning calories but I know from past experience that isnt the way to go. Three reasons:
1. You will burn yourself out
2. If you never have recovery days then you will never perform in your sessions at 100%....I would much prefer to do 3 sessions being rested enough to put in 100% into my session then 5 sessions where I am not rested and so only putting in 60%
3. The recovery days are were we build out muscles. When we weight train we create minor tears in our muscles and then as they repair themselves they grow bigger....if we never have recovery days we dont give our muscles the chance to prepare properly.
Lately I have been doing a lot of walking...I think walking you could do most days of the week...weight work you definitely need some rest days. Remember...its quality over quantity when it comes to our exercise sessions :)
So initially when tania said about not working out today I woud do body pump....but as I have exercised for the last 5 days I decided a recovery day is definitely needed :) Tomorrow we are doing a beach walk in the morning and then I have a PT session in the afternoon and I think we are going to do the Hallett Cove walk on saturday. Its been kinda easy to get in a lot of exercise this week as I havent been at work....but back to the grind next week...so I am planning....the following presuming PT session times etc dont change:
monday : 45 minutes body balance and 30 minute PT session
tuesday : 45 minutes cardio and 45 minutes RPM
wednesday : 45 minutes cardio and 30 minutes PT
thursday: 45 minutes body pump and 45 minutes RPM
friday: 30 minutes cardio and 60 minutes body pump
saturday : 60 minutes body pump and 60 minutes body balance
sunday : rest day
I think this week I proved I am fit enough to do more exercise then I thought...so 30-45 minutes of cardio and a class most days will work :)
I have managed to increase my protein today, altho I had to hide the sodium levels on MFP cos that was distressing me LOL. But my aim was 180 grams of protein...by then end of today I will have hit 198 grams of protein...so I am pretty damn happy with that. Also need to get 3 litres of water a day in. Ive drunk 1.5 litres so far....will have downed 3 litres by hopefully dinner time.
The quest protein powder I bought too is pretty awesome....30 grams with a cup of water makes for a yummy drink...I normally dont like water with my protein shake but this protein powder is a thicker consistency...so had it in my starbucks cup...all fancy like! lol
Have a good day all :)
1. You will burn yourself out
2. If you never have recovery days then you will never perform in your sessions at 100%....I would much prefer to do 3 sessions being rested enough to put in 100% into my session then 5 sessions where I am not rested and so only putting in 60%
3. The recovery days are were we build out muscles. When we weight train we create minor tears in our muscles and then as they repair themselves they grow bigger....if we never have recovery days we dont give our muscles the chance to prepare properly.
Lately I have been doing a lot of walking...I think walking you could do most days of the week...weight work you definitely need some rest days. Remember...its quality over quantity when it comes to our exercise sessions :)
So initially when tania said about not working out today I woud do body pump....but as I have exercised for the last 5 days I decided a recovery day is definitely needed :) Tomorrow we are doing a beach walk in the morning and then I have a PT session in the afternoon and I think we are going to do the Hallett Cove walk on saturday. Its been kinda easy to get in a lot of exercise this week as I havent been at work....but back to the grind next week...so I am planning....the following presuming PT session times etc dont change:
monday : 45 minutes body balance and 30 minute PT session
tuesday : 45 minutes cardio and 45 minutes RPM
wednesday : 45 minutes cardio and 30 minutes PT
thursday: 45 minutes body pump and 45 minutes RPM
friday: 30 minutes cardio and 60 minutes body pump
saturday : 60 minutes body pump and 60 minutes body balance
sunday : rest day
I think this week I proved I am fit enough to do more exercise then I thought...so 30-45 minutes of cardio and a class most days will work :)
I have managed to increase my protein today, altho I had to hide the sodium levels on MFP cos that was distressing me LOL. But my aim was 180 grams of protein...by then end of today I will have hit 198 grams of protein...so I am pretty damn happy with that. Also need to get 3 litres of water a day in. Ive drunk 1.5 litres so far....will have downed 3 litres by hopefully dinner time.
The quest protein powder I bought too is pretty awesome....30 grams with a cup of water makes for a yummy drink...I normally dont like water with my protein shake but this protein powder is a thicker consistency...so had it in my starbucks cup...all fancy like! lol
Have a good day all :)
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Weigh in :)
So I weighed in this morning. I lost 300 grams on my scales at home and according to Laurens in the gym I lost 500 grams. Like I have said all along I am happy for any loss....but....the losses are certainly slowing down. Ideally I would like to be losing 700-800 grams a week. So I discussed this with Lauren. I first off all asked about my protein level. Fernwood follows a program based on body type. For my body type (pear shape) the protein should be at 40% which is 180 grams of protein. Which is a really high amount of protein. I am still playing around with tomorrows meal planning to ensure I hit it. So I am going to do that till sunday morning. If by sunday morning I am not down at least 400 grams (so 120.2 kilos) then I will on top of that drop 50 calories taking me down to 1750 calories. I am also aiming to increase my water because I have been drinking...zip...none! lol Apart from when exercising. So I did drink 3 litres yesterday...I will aim to do 3 litres everyday this week and see how that combined with the increased protein how that helps. Fingers crossed that gets things moving!
So today Tania came into the gym with me and we did a 45 minute body pump class. I hadnt done one for a few weeks so was good to get in and do one. Tomorrow we are going down the beach for lunch and a 5km walk. Friday I have PT and saturday we are planning to do the hallett cove boardwalk.
In relation to my losses....in the 6.5 weeks I have been on track I am down 6.5 kilos (started at 127.1 kilos and this morning 120.6 kilos) and my complete total loss is 52.5 kilos. Its 3 weeks till the 20th June when I wanted to be down to 117 kilos....may not make it but going to try hard to ensure I am as closed as possible to it :)
So today Tania came into the gym with me and we did a 45 minute body pump class. I hadnt done one for a few weeks so was good to get in and do one. Tomorrow we are going down the beach for lunch and a 5km walk. Friday I have PT and saturday we are planning to do the hallett cove boardwalk.
In relation to my losses....in the 6.5 weeks I have been on track I am down 6.5 kilos (started at 127.1 kilos and this morning 120.6 kilos) and my complete total loss is 52.5 kilos. Its 3 weeks till the 20th June when I wanted to be down to 117 kilos....may not make it but going to try hard to ensure I am as closed as possible to it :)
Monday, May 25, 2015
Monday!
So today I woke and my calves and hips were tired...bless their cotton socks for what they did to carry this body up the hill yesterday! :) So I smsd tania and said no to walking today....then as the morning went on my calves started to feel tight...so I thought no to Body Pump LOL...but I did go to PT I wasnt COMPLETELY slack. Really I know its not being slack...but ensuring I dont injure myself or burn out. So i went to the gym...10 minutes on the bike and then I did my PT session...which we did 4 rounds off....first round was 21 reps...second round 18 reps....third round was 15 reps and fourth round was 12 reps. And there was 5 different exercises....pushups, tricep dips, punching jabs with dumbbells,lat pull down, bicep curls and then 1 minute on the rower. I was sweating like it was nobodys business! The fastest time I did the row in was 210 metres in 1 minute :)
Then got home and tania messaged me to see if I wanted to go to savers (a humungous second hand store) which of course I said yes too...and came home with 9 items of clothing from...go me!
Yanno one of the things that bug me with eating well/dieting......is if I eat anything thats high in sodium my weight fluctuates....so no only do I watch calories, how much protein and carbs, how processed something is i ALSO watch sodium. There are a lot of foods I just dont have because of sodium...some prime examples are taco seasoning and soup. Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I have been watching fitness channels lately on you tube and NONE of them seem to watch their sodium....and some of them eat ridiculously large amounts of sodium....then today....one said something that kinda clicked with me....and the comment was "i dont pay attention to sodium because i drink enough water"
Now I suck at drinking water (like a lot of us)....so I am gonna head to the store when i wake tomorrow and buy some large bottles of water and try and drink 3 litres. I wont do it tho on weigh in day cos i weigh in at the gym in the evening and I want to keep that consistent...havent drunk much water previously so I still wont on those days. So yes...no need to post drink your water kazz it will help the sodium/water retention...I know this :)
Tomorrow the plan is to get to froot with tania to our favourite lil cafe and then we will do a walk....but as we are doing pump on wednesday and the hallett cove boardwalk on thursday....we are planning just a small 5km walk....a nice FLAT one hahah to rest our muscles but get out and get moving :)
Enjoy your week all!
Then got home and tania messaged me to see if I wanted to go to savers (a humungous second hand store) which of course I said yes too...and came home with 9 items of clothing from...go me!
Yanno one of the things that bug me with eating well/dieting......is if I eat anything thats high in sodium my weight fluctuates....so no only do I watch calories, how much protein and carbs, how processed something is i ALSO watch sodium. There are a lot of foods I just dont have because of sodium...some prime examples are taco seasoning and soup. Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I have been watching fitness channels lately on you tube and NONE of them seem to watch their sodium....and some of them eat ridiculously large amounts of sodium....then today....one said something that kinda clicked with me....and the comment was "i dont pay attention to sodium because i drink enough water"
Now I suck at drinking water (like a lot of us)....so I am gonna head to the store when i wake tomorrow and buy some large bottles of water and try and drink 3 litres. I wont do it tho on weigh in day cos i weigh in at the gym in the evening and I want to keep that consistent...havent drunk much water previously so I still wont on those days. So yes...no need to post drink your water kazz it will help the sodium/water retention...I know this :)
Tomorrow the plan is to get to froot with tania to our favourite lil cafe and then we will do a walk....but as we are doing pump on wednesday and the hallett cove boardwalk on thursday....we are planning just a small 5km walk....a nice FLAT one hahah to rest our muscles but get out and get moving :)
Enjoy your week all!
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Climbing just a lil hill
Tania and I today went walking up Wynn Vale Road. Its a hill, but a gradual hill for approx 2.5km...I didnt think it would be too bad lol...I was WRONG! We last to the 1.5km mark and then had to walk back. It was hard work! I mean I felt like I am kinda fit walking up it but it was certainly a workout and a short but good one. It took us from memory to walk up it and back 41 minutes. And I burnt 320 calories. So I am sitting at 1400 calories burnt for the week :)
Sadly tho the scales have gone up gradually over the last few days! I have not been off track with my eating so I know I havent gained "fat" I did have bacon and eggs for breakfast yesterday morning then I made a crustless quiche with bacon in it....so it may be partly sodium. I must admit it is a lil disappointing, my losses havent been big and I am okay with that I know I am doing it a healthy, sustainable way but I wish I did see more results. But I know the answer is I am feeling better mentally and physically...slowly clothes are fitting me better...so it really is a case of suck it up princess and get on with ur chit! LOL
Tomorrow Tania is coming over and then we are doing a easy walk into Nth Adelaide and back again...its flat...its easy...45 minutes and we should be done. Then at lunch time I will go into the gym for my BIG workout....45 minutes pump, 45 minutes body balance and PT session with Stacey :)
Not a heck of a lot else going on!
Sadly tho the scales have gone up gradually over the last few days! I have not been off track with my eating so I know I havent gained "fat" I did have bacon and eggs for breakfast yesterday morning then I made a crustless quiche with bacon in it....so it may be partly sodium. I must admit it is a lil disappointing, my losses havent been big and I am okay with that I know I am doing it a healthy, sustainable way but I wish I did see more results. But I know the answer is I am feeling better mentally and physically...slowly clothes are fitting me better...so it really is a case of suck it up princess and get on with ur chit! LOL
Tomorrow Tania is coming over and then we are doing a easy walk into Nth Adelaide and back again...its flat...its easy...45 minutes and we should be done. Then at lunch time I will go into the gym for my BIG workout....45 minutes pump, 45 minutes body balance and PT session with Stacey :)
Not a heck of a lot else going on!
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Saturday and this weeks workout plan :)
So this morning I went walking with Tania down Semaphore Beach. We walked 8.5km, had a yummy breakfast of bacon, toast and scrambled eggs, before I came home and collapsed! lol I am hoping to break 15,000 steps for the day...the goal was 20,000 but I was kinda slack LOL.
Tania and I did discuss our workouts this week and this is what we decided on:
sunday: Walk up wynn vale drive...its a very steep hill apparantly LOL
Monday: In the morning we are going to walk for about a hour. Then I will be doing 45 mins body pump + 45 minutes body balance + 30 minutes PT session...this will surely test me! LOL
tuesday: Early morning walk (i think) and 30 minute group PT session at lunchtime
wednesday: body pump + PT
thursday: Hallett Cover boardwalk
friday: work out for about a hour at the gym (thinking upper body to give our legs a recovery day)
Saturday: Snake pit
Sunday : Morialta falls
Mostly we are doing walking. so the workout we do friday will be a upper body one to give our legs a recovery day.
I am thinking it may be time to focus more on my macros. I have been sticking to my calories religiously,,,,,macros not so much! When I was smaller and ate 1800 calories...I had a fat and protein macro to meet as a minimum. So I had to at least eat this....70 grams of fat and 130 grams of protein....the remainder is carbs.....but wants suppose to go over 158 grams of carbs...which all feels reasonable and do able...without any crazy stuff! I just looked at my eating for today...Im not too far off it actually....so just some minor adjustments.
Tonight I made a crustless quiche....so good! I saw someone make it on one of the fitness channels on you tube....loved it....its got bacon so a lil high in sodium....but its a pretty high protein for the calories.
As of this morning I was up 400 grams up from wednesday mornings weigh in....so may struggle for a loss this week! :( Fingers crossed...will keep doing what I am doing and hopefully I wont be too disappointed - enjoy your weekend all!
Tania and I did discuss our workouts this week and this is what we decided on:
sunday: Walk up wynn vale drive...its a very steep hill apparantly LOL
Monday: In the morning we are going to walk for about a hour. Then I will be doing 45 mins body pump + 45 minutes body balance + 30 minutes PT session...this will surely test me! LOL
tuesday: Early morning walk (i think) and 30 minute group PT session at lunchtime
wednesday: body pump + PT
thursday: Hallett Cover boardwalk
friday: work out for about a hour at the gym (thinking upper body to give our legs a recovery day)
Saturday: Snake pit
Sunday : Morialta falls
Mostly we are doing walking. so the workout we do friday will be a upper body one to give our legs a recovery day.
I am thinking it may be time to focus more on my macros. I have been sticking to my calories religiously,,,,,macros not so much! When I was smaller and ate 1800 calories...I had a fat and protein macro to meet as a minimum. So I had to at least eat this....70 grams of fat and 130 grams of protein....the remainder is carbs.....but wants suppose to go over 158 grams of carbs...which all feels reasonable and do able...without any crazy stuff! I just looked at my eating for today...Im not too far off it actually....so just some minor adjustments.
Tonight I made a crustless quiche....so good! I saw someone make it on one of the fitness channels on you tube....loved it....its got bacon so a lil high in sodium....but its a pretty high protein for the calories.
As of this morning I was up 400 grams up from wednesday mornings weigh in....so may struggle for a loss this week! :( Fingers crossed...will keep doing what I am doing and hopefully I wont be too disappointed - enjoy your weekend all!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Slowly overcoming the food addiction :)
So awhile ago....like maybe january, I bought some skinny cow ice cream cookies. I bought them home, opened the box,....a hour later they were ALL gone. I came to the conclusion I just couldn't have them in the house. And it wasn't just them...it was cheese....chocolate...anyway Ive had cheese in the house for a few weeks and it hasnt bothered me. So a few weeks ago i bought some peanut butter icecream....it is still unopen in the freezer. Anyway last night I thought....lets see how I go with skinny cow ice cream in the house again. Bought a pack of the vanilla ones...opened it....had one....the rest are still in the fridge :) Today I bought another box of them lol caramel ones....and then I also bought a bag of caramello bears....had one caramello bear...the rest are in the fridge ;)
I really feel I am starting to get the food addiction under control. I wouldnt be worried too much about any food in the house being a temptation these days. I remember reading many times in Sean Andersons blog (check daily diary of a winning loser on the list on the right) about how he had a calorie budget and once it is gone its gone.
And thats how I am feeling more and more. It doesnt matter whats in the fridge....cos the scales going down is way more important then any food.
Tomorrow Tania and I are going walking....planning to walk 4km....stop for brunch then walk another 4km...so all up 8km :)
As I am off from work for a week we are planning a big exercise week! We are planning it tomorrow so I will update you all on it later.
Its been a good, happy, laugh filled day....enjoy your weekend all :)
I really feel I am starting to get the food addiction under control. I wouldnt be worried too much about any food in the house being a temptation these days. I remember reading many times in Sean Andersons blog (check daily diary of a winning loser on the list on the right) about how he had a calorie budget and once it is gone its gone.
And thats how I am feeling more and more. It doesnt matter whats in the fridge....cos the scales going down is way more important then any food.
Tomorrow Tania and I are going walking....planning to walk 4km....stop for brunch then walk another 4km...so all up 8km :)
As I am off from work for a week we are planning a big exercise week! We are planning it tomorrow so I will update you all on it later.
Its been a good, happy, laugh filled day....enjoy your weekend all :)
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Getting that desire back and being genuinely happy
Funny thing happened....I am getting my desire to write back :) I am finding in my days lots of thoughts are popping into my head, things I recognise as things I should focus or on "a-ha" things and I keep thinking I must write that down....and yanno I tried the you tube thing but honestly I am a much better writer ;)
So yes, I have that desire back and am going to write more regularly....not necessarily everyday but definitely more frequently.
So I weighed in yesterday. Not sure if I have explained this before...I weigh in at home in the morning and thats the weight i "log", simply cos i have minimum clothing on, on a empty stomach and just been to the toilet. Then on wednesday evenings I have a food coaching session where I discuss my week etc, I then weigh in so log that number at Fernwood and also see my body fat percent. So yesterday morning i weighed in and lost 400 grams taking me down to 120.9 kilos (those "teens" are getting closer) and also lost 400 grams on Laurens (my food coaches) scales...so yay for consistency :)
Today I have been off work sick, stuck in bed. And while I havent felt great I have felt happy (let me explain this contradiction!) Yes my head hurt. But what I have noticed more over the last few weeks is I feel happy on the inside. By that I mean genuinely happy. I mean I have felt "happy" plenty of times before...You put on a smile for everyone and you tell yourself you live a good life and there is not much you can complain about....but you are not genuinely happy. You know right at that moment you may not be grieving a loved one, dealing with a sick child, have employment insecurity or anything like that so you SHOULD be happy. Society and the media etc tells us we should be happy...but we have to convince ourselves. This is NOTHING like that. I don't have to convince myself. And there is a lightness internally...it is like a lot of heavy weight (not in the physical sense but emotional sense) I was harboring and carrying around with me. And I genuinely can feel happy and smile, and truly smile not be fake.
What is it that makes me so happy? My gawd that is hard to say. I think sometimes things come down to timing. I felt in myself it was time to move on from mums passing. I mean it was 2.5 years ago and I just remember one day thinking how she wouldnt want this. I remember when mum died and I weighed about 85 kilos at the time. And a day or two later my sister and I were in the car driving and my sister told me how mum had worried about my weight and how it was good that before she died she saw me at a healthy weight living a healthy life, then my sister turned around and said "you gain the weight back she will kill you" it was a light hearted moment,,,,,at a very bizarre time in our lives. Of course I then proceeded to put on over 40 kilos over the next 2.5 years. But a few months ago I kinda just woke up, and just realised I dont want this to consume me for the rest of my life. I know how to do this, I want to lose the weight, get healthy, build some nice good muscle, get back to running (not this year....maybe next year) and live that healthy life I had embraced. I wanted to take control back instead of being sad for myself for sadness that had occurred which is unfortunately part of life.
Now I feel in control. I have mentioned my support systems previously and I honestly think I got very lucky....and timing just worked really well. I love how I feel at the moment. Sure I am not 79 kilos yet but yanno what???? I am also not 127.1 kilos! I am feeling a lil better about myself each day, losing the anxiety that is known as the gym LOL....I am feeling like I deserve to be there...like its a place I belong.
I am very focused on my short term goal of 117 kilos by June 20 and still VERY focused on being under 100 kilos by my birthday....I truly believe I can do that or get very close that that.
So yes, I have that desire back and am going to write more regularly....not necessarily everyday but definitely more frequently.
So I weighed in yesterday. Not sure if I have explained this before...I weigh in at home in the morning and thats the weight i "log", simply cos i have minimum clothing on, on a empty stomach and just been to the toilet. Then on wednesday evenings I have a food coaching session where I discuss my week etc, I then weigh in so log that number at Fernwood and also see my body fat percent. So yesterday morning i weighed in and lost 400 grams taking me down to 120.9 kilos (those "teens" are getting closer) and also lost 400 grams on Laurens (my food coaches) scales...so yay for consistency :)
Today I have been off work sick, stuck in bed. And while I havent felt great I have felt happy (let me explain this contradiction!) Yes my head hurt. But what I have noticed more over the last few weeks is I feel happy on the inside. By that I mean genuinely happy. I mean I have felt "happy" plenty of times before...You put on a smile for everyone and you tell yourself you live a good life and there is not much you can complain about....but you are not genuinely happy. You know right at that moment you may not be grieving a loved one, dealing with a sick child, have employment insecurity or anything like that so you SHOULD be happy. Society and the media etc tells us we should be happy...but we have to convince ourselves. This is NOTHING like that. I don't have to convince myself. And there is a lightness internally...it is like a lot of heavy weight (not in the physical sense but emotional sense) I was harboring and carrying around with me. And I genuinely can feel happy and smile, and truly smile not be fake.
What is it that makes me so happy? My gawd that is hard to say. I think sometimes things come down to timing. I felt in myself it was time to move on from mums passing. I mean it was 2.5 years ago and I just remember one day thinking how she wouldnt want this. I remember when mum died and I weighed about 85 kilos at the time. And a day or two later my sister and I were in the car driving and my sister told me how mum had worried about my weight and how it was good that before she died she saw me at a healthy weight living a healthy life, then my sister turned around and said "you gain the weight back she will kill you" it was a light hearted moment,,,,,at a very bizarre time in our lives. Of course I then proceeded to put on over 40 kilos over the next 2.5 years. But a few months ago I kinda just woke up, and just realised I dont want this to consume me for the rest of my life. I know how to do this, I want to lose the weight, get healthy, build some nice good muscle, get back to running (not this year....maybe next year) and live that healthy life I had embraced. I wanted to take control back instead of being sad for myself for sadness that had occurred which is unfortunately part of life.
Now I feel in control. I have mentioned my support systems previously and I honestly think I got very lucky....and timing just worked really well. I love how I feel at the moment. Sure I am not 79 kilos yet but yanno what???? I am also not 127.1 kilos! I am feeling a lil better about myself each day, losing the anxiety that is known as the gym LOL....I am feeling like I deserve to be there...like its a place I belong.
I am very focused on my short term goal of 117 kilos by June 20 and still VERY focused on being under 100 kilos by my birthday....I truly believe I can do that or get very close that that.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Weigh in and a recap of the week :)
A week with no posts.....what a slackass! ;)
Things are going great. I am trying now to remember what has happened this week. I didnt do PT monday night and Stacey couldnt do it wednesday night so ended up doing a double PT session on tuesday night. It was a challenging session! It was a 50 session, so basically she had a whole list of exercises that I had to do 50 reps of....as well as that i had to do 500 metres on cross trainer, bike, rower and treadmill. And then at the end of it I had to climb up all 7 flights of stairs :)
After initially buying a heart rate monitor that had a internal wiring issue...I got a new one wednesday night. Its a Suunto 5....i love it :) Does exactly what i want and need...counts calories and thats it lol.
Wednesday was a exciting day cos I also got my new iphone! Upgraded to a iphone 6....super happy with it :)
Wednesday was also weigh in day. By my scales at home I had dropped 600 grams (I take this as my official weigh in result) and on Laurens scales I had dropped 400 grams and 1% body fat. Then we discussed how its time now to increase my exercise. Lauren said....I will add it into mine and Staceys diary and if you are not here by 5.15pm each night we will call you LOL....now they prolly wont as they are very busy....but just having that threat there has helped....thursday night I went and did body pump and a 5km cycle and then friday i went in and did a 10km cycle and 10 minutes on the cross trainer. (Unfortunately i did twinge something in my lower back on thursday night in pump....so I am being a bit careful with that...I can still do most things....just need to be careful with squats and no crunches for a bit) The other thing...and for this I am a super lucky gal :) Lauren as a gift to me has added functional fit to my contract at no cost. Functional fit is group PT. So she told me we really want you to succeed and you are one of our top level clients so its a gift from us :) So next week when off work i will go and do a lunch time session of that. I really am at a very supportive gym and think I have completely lucked out with my trainer and food coach :)
Thursday and friday nothing much happened...gymmed it both days...so good accomplishing days. And this weekend I have given my back a rest. Tomorrow back to the gym for PT i have already messaged Stacey to let her know about my back.
The scales again this week are moving in the right direction, but I am cautious how this week will go as I have thrown myself into the gym it can sometimes take a bit for the body to settle into that.
Also the other good news is I have been on track for 5 weeks yesterday! Woo hoo I truly feel back now. This is the best and longest I have done on track for a few years....happy happy gal :)
Things are going great. I am trying now to remember what has happened this week. I didnt do PT monday night and Stacey couldnt do it wednesday night so ended up doing a double PT session on tuesday night. It was a challenging session! It was a 50 session, so basically she had a whole list of exercises that I had to do 50 reps of....as well as that i had to do 500 metres on cross trainer, bike, rower and treadmill. And then at the end of it I had to climb up all 7 flights of stairs :)
After initially buying a heart rate monitor that had a internal wiring issue...I got a new one wednesday night. Its a Suunto 5....i love it :) Does exactly what i want and need...counts calories and thats it lol.
Wednesday was a exciting day cos I also got my new iphone! Upgraded to a iphone 6....super happy with it :)
Wednesday was also weigh in day. By my scales at home I had dropped 600 grams (I take this as my official weigh in result) and on Laurens scales I had dropped 400 grams and 1% body fat. Then we discussed how its time now to increase my exercise. Lauren said....I will add it into mine and Staceys diary and if you are not here by 5.15pm each night we will call you LOL....now they prolly wont as they are very busy....but just having that threat there has helped....thursday night I went and did body pump and a 5km cycle and then friday i went in and did a 10km cycle and 10 minutes on the cross trainer. (Unfortunately i did twinge something in my lower back on thursday night in pump....so I am being a bit careful with that...I can still do most things....just need to be careful with squats and no crunches for a bit) The other thing...and for this I am a super lucky gal :) Lauren as a gift to me has added functional fit to my contract at no cost. Functional fit is group PT. So she told me we really want you to succeed and you are one of our top level clients so its a gift from us :) So next week when off work i will go and do a lunch time session of that. I really am at a very supportive gym and think I have completely lucked out with my trainer and food coach :)
Thursday and friday nothing much happened...gymmed it both days...so good accomplishing days. And this weekend I have given my back a rest. Tomorrow back to the gym for PT i have already messaged Stacey to let her know about my back.
The scales again this week are moving in the right direction, but I am cautious how this week will go as I have thrown myself into the gym it can sometimes take a bit for the body to settle into that.
Also the other good news is I have been on track for 5 weeks yesterday! Woo hoo I truly feel back now. This is the best and longest I have done on track for a few years....happy happy gal :)
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Late Weigh in result :)
I really am due to post!
Things are going good. I havent even told you all last weeks weigh in results :) It was good!
As most who read this know I have PCOS and last week I had my cycle...I can normally gain up to 3 kilos the week of my cycle. Weigh in day was on day 2 of my cycle and I actually LOST. Which was huge to me cos its rare...I was kinda dreading getting on the scales wednesday morning LOL. But I did manage a 300 gram loss which put me at 121.9 kilos.
I was still sitting at eating 1900 calories. My food coach is very happy with how things are going, as am I, but I do feel my cals are still too high, but the concern is just dropping them quickly may lead to me relapsing. So we are being very sensible about it all :) She said to give it a couple of days and see what happens if no real movement then drop to 1800 calories. So I dropped down yesterday so we will see what happens. If there is no real movement on the scales that is not the end of the world but will prolly stay at this calorie level for a couple of weeks before lowering any further.
My PT sessions are going good. They have some weight training too them....mostly body weight stuff but some stuff with dumbbells/medicine balls etc but mostly cardio base...but I think thats what I need at this stage so that is good. This week one session was Tabata and one session was a circuit and none of the cardio has involved the treadmill so more then happy with that LOL. We did a lil stair climbing too! And we all know I like my stairs....I might actually start going back to the footy club and climbling the stadium stairs on the weekends like i use too.
Head space wise I feel in a very good place....and even though at this stage I havent lost weight at a super fast pace I am cool with that. I have done this before...I know getting the healthy habits in place is the first step...the losses will come with time....and it is not so much about how much I weigh today....its about how much I weigh and my body shape/ability to do stuff in 18 months that will be important. That said tho...since I got back on track....and its now been 4 weeks I have not had one gain...I had one week I stayed the same...and the rest of the week I have had losses...which just indicates I am being consistent.
I pulled out some of my favourite tops (mostly Lorna Jane and Running Bare) and have put them aside....they are in various sizes...so I have 10 "goal tops" to shrink into ;)
The first one is a tank top...it fits at the moment but its too tight....hopefully before long I will be able to wear it when working out (sooooooo long since I have worn a tank top!)
I also noticed I dont have many LJ clothes in size large or extra large.....so I think I will have to remedy that! haha....will have to go look at their website and pick out a few things to shrink into!
Tomorrow will be a challenging day...we have a work function at the festival centre with food and drink included. I am there from 9.30am till 1pm....so right over lunch time...I will no doubt eat something there...but not being able to plan for it is not so fun! But I will just having breakfast before hand....and try to make some good choices!
Not much else going on...so now its time to visit Lorna Janes site ;)
Things are going good. I havent even told you all last weeks weigh in results :) It was good!
As most who read this know I have PCOS and last week I had my cycle...I can normally gain up to 3 kilos the week of my cycle. Weigh in day was on day 2 of my cycle and I actually LOST. Which was huge to me cos its rare...I was kinda dreading getting on the scales wednesday morning LOL. But I did manage a 300 gram loss which put me at 121.9 kilos.
I was still sitting at eating 1900 calories. My food coach is very happy with how things are going, as am I, but I do feel my cals are still too high, but the concern is just dropping them quickly may lead to me relapsing. So we are being very sensible about it all :) She said to give it a couple of days and see what happens if no real movement then drop to 1800 calories. So I dropped down yesterday so we will see what happens. If there is no real movement on the scales that is not the end of the world but will prolly stay at this calorie level for a couple of weeks before lowering any further.
My PT sessions are going good. They have some weight training too them....mostly body weight stuff but some stuff with dumbbells/medicine balls etc but mostly cardio base...but I think thats what I need at this stage so that is good. This week one session was Tabata and one session was a circuit and none of the cardio has involved the treadmill so more then happy with that LOL. We did a lil stair climbing too! And we all know I like my stairs....I might actually start going back to the footy club and climbling the stadium stairs on the weekends like i use too.
Head space wise I feel in a very good place....and even though at this stage I havent lost weight at a super fast pace I am cool with that. I have done this before...I know getting the healthy habits in place is the first step...the losses will come with time....and it is not so much about how much I weigh today....its about how much I weigh and my body shape/ability to do stuff in 18 months that will be important. That said tho...since I got back on track....and its now been 4 weeks I have not had one gain...I had one week I stayed the same...and the rest of the week I have had losses...which just indicates I am being consistent.
I pulled out some of my favourite tops (mostly Lorna Jane and Running Bare) and have put them aside....they are in various sizes...so I have 10 "goal tops" to shrink into ;)
The first one is a tank top...it fits at the moment but its too tight....hopefully before long I will be able to wear it when working out (sooooooo long since I have worn a tank top!)
I also noticed I dont have many LJ clothes in size large or extra large.....so I think I will have to remedy that! haha....will have to go look at their website and pick out a few things to shrink into!
Tomorrow will be a challenging day...we have a work function at the festival centre with food and drink included. I am there from 9.30am till 1pm....so right over lunch time...I will no doubt eat something there...but not being able to plan for it is not so fun! But I will just having breakfast before hand....and try to make some good choices!
Not much else going on...so now its time to visit Lorna Janes site ;)
Tuesday, May 05, 2015
Calorie Cycling
So I talked about lowering calories and calorie cycling on my last post. I decided to wait till wednesday before doing anything. My scales have since stayed the same...and got to look at the good side of things...eating 1900 calories and I am not gaining and that is a lot of food. But yesterday decided it is time for the calorie cycling to recommence. Ive talked about calorie cycling for years, it walked brilliantly when I lost weight before, over the last few years I have tried many times but had been so off track calorie cycling had no chance LOL. But now I have been on track for 3.5 weeks...I think its time. So my calories over the week will look like this:
monday: 1700
tuesday: 1500
wednesday: 1400
thursday: 1700
friday: 1300
saturday: 1900
sunday: 1400
Its significantly lower cals then i am currently eating...it averages out to 1557 cals a day. But when I went back and looked at cals I was eating last time at this weight...I was doing 1600 cals and exercising a LOT .... i am only doing 3 exercise sessions a week at the moment (2 PT sessions and 1 walk on the weekends)
The exercise deal does need tackling but I am so slack with it...Im not quite in the exercise groove. My gym does offer function fit training which is basically group PT sessions...for $20 a week (I think thats the price) I have considered doing the for accountability...but would worry it would be beyond me just yet.
I am not overly concerned because last time I lost weight I eventually caught the exercise bug...wish I could catch it again!!!
Not much else going on - have a good day all :)
monday: 1700
tuesday: 1500
wednesday: 1400
thursday: 1700
friday: 1300
saturday: 1900
sunday: 1400
Its significantly lower cals then i am currently eating...it averages out to 1557 cals a day. But when I went back and looked at cals I was eating last time at this weight...I was doing 1600 cals and exercising a LOT .... i am only doing 3 exercise sessions a week at the moment (2 PT sessions and 1 walk on the weekends)
The exercise deal does need tackling but I am so slack with it...Im not quite in the exercise groove. My gym does offer function fit training which is basically group PT sessions...for $20 a week (I think thats the price) I have considered doing the for accountability...but would worry it would be beyond me just yet.
I am not overly concerned because last time I lost weight I eventually caught the exercise bug...wish I could catch it again!!!
Not much else going on - have a good day all :)
Sunday, May 03, 2015
Goals and stuff
So I have had a great weekend :) Went out for dinner last night....below is pics of what I ate....entree was 6 mini dim sims and then main was barramundi with bok choy and snow peas. And yes I ate all the vegies! ;)
This morning we went down Semaphore Beach and did a 7km walk before going out for breakfast.
My friend Tanias birthday is in June and she is planning a night out towards the end of June so I have set the goal to get down to 117 kilos by then, and then hopefully 112 kilos by end of august. We are also doing a 30 day squat challenge. We are on day 3 of it....today was 60 squats...they are all done and dusted! This week we have also agreed to drink 1 litre of water per day....so I am determined to do that. :)
Work tomorrow and PT tomorrow night. Have a good week all :)
Saturday, May 02, 2015
Late weigh in results
So I weighed in on wednesday and lost 1.5 kilos. Since then the scales have fluctuated up by a kilo. But that is far from stopping me :) I have decided to drop my calories to 1600 calories. This may be too low but I will see how I go....if I find it too low I will add a extra 100 calories....so this week is a trial week!
The funny thing is I have been tracking my food....filling out my main meals and snacks and realising i have 300 cals left over and needing to find foods to eat....not cos I am hungry or need the food...just cos thats the number i had aimed for and its for this reason I think I will be fine on 1500-1600 calories.
I am finding more and more food is featuring less in my days. Its not what I am incessently thinking about. Normally when I go out for dinner....I plan for a entree, a main and a hot chocolate after. Tonight I am going out for dinner and I will have just the main meal....I dont feel the need for a huge meal. My exercise still isnt perfect but im improving :) Ive done two PT sessions with Stacey this week and am finding her a great trainer. We did boxing both sessions this week, and as we know ive always loved boxing so thats been great. I feel I have the right support systems at the gym in place now which is good. The next step is to start doing some classes! I am still walking with Tania each weekend. She is a great support and I know I am for her too so the walks work out great :) Tomorrow we are doing another walk!
The funny thing is I have been tracking my food....filling out my main meals and snacks and realising i have 300 cals left over and needing to find foods to eat....not cos I am hungry or need the food...just cos thats the number i had aimed for and its for this reason I think I will be fine on 1500-1600 calories.
I am finding more and more food is featuring less in my days. Its not what I am incessently thinking about. Normally when I go out for dinner....I plan for a entree, a main and a hot chocolate after. Tonight I am going out for dinner and I will have just the main meal....I dont feel the need for a huge meal. My exercise still isnt perfect but im improving :) Ive done two PT sessions with Stacey this week and am finding her a great trainer. We did boxing both sessions this week, and as we know ive always loved boxing so thats been great. I feel I have the right support systems at the gym in place now which is good. The next step is to start doing some classes! I am still walking with Tania each weekend. She is a great support and I know I am for her too so the walks work out great :) Tomorrow we are doing another walk!
Monday, April 27, 2015
I feel incredible :)
The title is a big statement - but soooooooooo true!!
I feel fantastic at the moment. I am eating my 1900 calories....my scales are moving nicely and I fitted in some yummy things like a fingerbun, bacon and eggs and toast, 3 serves of bread this week and still the scales are moving :) (they were my treats over a week not all in one day lol)
Ive mentioned how I go walking with my friend Tania on weekends. Tania and I are turning out to be such a good support to each other, we are similar weights altho Tania is nearing 20 kilos lost, our walks tend to be photo opportunities, talks about nutrition, mindset and exercise....some crazy ridiculous silly moments and then you add some exercise in the fresh air too it....what could be better????
I had my first PT session with Stacey tonight and I finally feel like I have all the support in place to be successful. I have my food coaching with Lauren and I love her sessions...Stacey was telling me tonight that Lauren has had a lot of success with past clients. The session with Stacey went really well....we did boxing....she asked me if I do the boxing classes I was like I dont think im fit enough at the moment...she was like you look like you are doing pretty good lol. There is a 45 minute boxing class on friday evening so I might give it a try....Ill just go at my own place. I also have a few PT sessions owing so she is going to look at me doing some double PT sessions. The session went great tho and I really feel like i have the right fit....finally :)
As to me feeling incredible? Its so true....its not just cos the scales are moving....I feel like I am in a good routine...ive not binged for 17 days... my eating has been really good and now I am starting to get into the gym. Tomorrow I am going to the gym....will do 20 minutes on the cross trainer and 20 minutes on the treadmill...nothing crazy....just getting my routine going :)
I feel fantastic at the moment. I am eating my 1900 calories....my scales are moving nicely and I fitted in some yummy things like a fingerbun, bacon and eggs and toast, 3 serves of bread this week and still the scales are moving :) (they were my treats over a week not all in one day lol)
Ive mentioned how I go walking with my friend Tania on weekends. Tania and I are turning out to be such a good support to each other, we are similar weights altho Tania is nearing 20 kilos lost, our walks tend to be photo opportunities, talks about nutrition, mindset and exercise....some crazy ridiculous silly moments and then you add some exercise in the fresh air too it....what could be better????
I had my first PT session with Stacey tonight and I finally feel like I have all the support in place to be successful. I have my food coaching with Lauren and I love her sessions...Stacey was telling me tonight that Lauren has had a lot of success with past clients. The session with Stacey went really well....we did boxing....she asked me if I do the boxing classes I was like I dont think im fit enough at the moment...she was like you look like you are doing pretty good lol. There is a 45 minute boxing class on friday evening so I might give it a try....Ill just go at my own place. I also have a few PT sessions owing so she is going to look at me doing some double PT sessions. The session went great tho and I really feel like i have the right fit....finally :)
As to me feeling incredible? Its so true....its not just cos the scales are moving....I feel like I am in a good routine...ive not binged for 17 days... my eating has been really good and now I am starting to get into the gym. Tomorrow I am going to the gym....will do 20 minutes on the cross trainer and 20 minutes on the treadmill...nothing crazy....just getting my routine going :)
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Sunday April 26
The whole concept of "spend your time with people who build you up, not drag you down" has been coming up for me lately. Its something I truly believe in. I see it for example on my journal a bit. When I initially created this blog in April 2006 I created it for myself...no one else. I expected a few friends would prolly read it but thats it....miraculously I built up quite a following. My journey (especially previously not so much now) became very public...with that comes peoples opinions. As much as I get some fantastic, positive support from this journal - I have also had over the years some judgemental, questioning comments. I realise people may not think I do it the "corrrect way" (in other words THEIR way). I am more then educated on nutrition so will completely do this MY way. Recently something came up with a friend of mine and she felt the need to explain her actions to someone....I saw this and my first thought to her was "you owe no one a explaination" you can do whatever you please. I am now going to apply that thinking to my journal. So if someone leaves a judgemental, questioning comment about MY journey - I wont be replying. I may delete the comment then again I may not. I am not just applying this thinking to my journal but every aspect to my life...and in all honesty its generally how I work anyway I am pretty strong minded. I spent years trying to please my mum, but trying to please ANYONE but myself are days of the past.
In relation to my journey, things are going well :) I started my journey eating 2000 calories. The reason for this was to find the range where I can eat the most food whilst still losing weight. Last week I maintained. As of friday I dropped my calories to 1900 calories...I will give this 7-10 days before deciding if I need to go down to 1800 calories. I am so on track at the moment that I am not overly concerned by the scales...I know they will move with time and this is the smartest, healthiest way for me to do this.
I feel very in the zone and this will only improve with time. Tomorrow I do my first PT session with Stacey, which I am looking forward too. Yesterday I did a 6km walk with Tania and this morning a 2.4km walk (just a baby walk as it then started to rain! :( ) My aim for this week is to stick to 1900 calories, watching my sodium and increasing my exercise....my aim is 4 sessions between now and next saturday night....so I have 2 PT sessions planned and will need to attend the gym two other days (maybe tuesday and thursday and have friday as a rest day)
Hopefully the scales will start moving soon....regardless I am so happy that I am now on to day 16 of no binging and eating for 80% of the time...really nutrient dense foods :)
In relation to my journey, things are going well :) I started my journey eating 2000 calories. The reason for this was to find the range where I can eat the most food whilst still losing weight. Last week I maintained. As of friday I dropped my calories to 1900 calories...I will give this 7-10 days before deciding if I need to go down to 1800 calories. I am so on track at the moment that I am not overly concerned by the scales...I know they will move with time and this is the smartest, healthiest way for me to do this.
I feel very in the zone and this will only improve with time. Tomorrow I do my first PT session with Stacey, which I am looking forward too. Yesterday I did a 6km walk with Tania and this morning a 2.4km walk (just a baby walk as it then started to rain! :( ) My aim for this week is to stick to 1900 calories, watching my sodium and increasing my exercise....my aim is 4 sessions between now and next saturday night....so I have 2 PT sessions planned and will need to attend the gym two other days (maybe tuesday and thursday and have friday as a rest day)
Hopefully the scales will start moving soon....regardless I am so happy that I am now on to day 16 of no binging and eating for 80% of the time...really nutrient dense foods :)
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Tuesday April 21
After sundays post I really started to think about the situation with the trainer. As someone said to me "you know if its the right trainer after the first session", so I ended up emailing one of the owners at the gym and said I didnt think it was the right fit and even that I thought to maybe leave PT for the moment. She replied back saying she didnt want me to give up PT and that the co-owner is actually a trainer and that they would like me to try a session with her. So I have spoken to her, and advised what my goals are what my injuries are. So I have booked in with her for monday and wednesday nights starting next week :)
After I finished work on Sunday me and my friend Tania headed down to Semaphore Beach and did a 10.75km walk. It was very kewl and then followed it up with dinner with Tania :)
My eating is going good...altho I overate on bacon and cheese on saturday night....oops! That lead to a 3 kilo gain over night (obviously sodium)....since then the scales have only dropped back a kilos...so I was still up by about 800 grams this morning from last weeks weigh in, my sodium levels today have been very low (which is normal for me) so i hope there is a significant drop overnight...will be interesting...cos even if I dont lose in weight on the scales...I have a funny feeling the body fat will drop.
Im also about to start taking some supplements that fernwood sells....heres a link on them : Fernwood Goddess Range so will get them hopefully thursday night.
Okies not much else going on...weigh in tomorrow...thats it :)
After I finished work on Sunday me and my friend Tania headed down to Semaphore Beach and did a 10.75km walk. It was very kewl and then followed it up with dinner with Tania :)
My eating is going good...altho I overate on bacon and cheese on saturday night....oops! That lead to a 3 kilo gain over night (obviously sodium)....since then the scales have only dropped back a kilos...so I was still up by about 800 grams this morning from last weeks weigh in, my sodium levels today have been very low (which is normal for me) so i hope there is a significant drop overnight...will be interesting...cos even if I dont lose in weight on the scales...I have a funny feeling the body fat will drop.
Im also about to start taking some supplements that fernwood sells....heres a link on them : Fernwood Goddess Range so will get them hopefully thursday night.
Okies not much else going on...weigh in tomorrow...thats it :)
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Sunday April 19
Today I am doing overtime...in fact I am a hour into the overtime...not too busy so far!
Last night I lazed around watching season 1 of melrose place (the original series) I watched the first 4 episodes and then skipped ahead to episode 15 when Jo joined the show...she was/is a hottie so was keen to get up to there lol.
So I am working till 3.30pm today. Then Tania is picking me up and we are going down to Semaphore to go walking and to have some dinner. I bought a vivofit the other day, cannot remember if I mentioned that on here or not (I went away from fitbit because I wanted one I can wear on my wrist and I dont like the clasp on fitbit and plus when I get back into running I wanna buy a Garmin running HRM so this made sense)
So the step goal on the vivofit for today (it varies depending on past usage) is 6419 steps, which I should easily hit...I am sitting at 916 steps at the moment...but am planning to go out walking in my first break.
The more I think about it the more I want my focus to be on cardio. So that is a aim this week to really focus on that and get that up with a mix of walking, stairs and cross trainer.
I think I also mentioned previously that I started with a new trainer as my old trainer left the gym. She is a nice girl, but as of yet I am not quite convinced yet it will work. I will give it a month or so and if I dont feel its the right fit I will let them know. Its hard to tell from one session if it will work or not and whether you will "click" with them. I have been thinking if it doesnt work out maybe I will cancel the PT and just stick to gym classes, cos lets face it the key at the moment for me is cardio. Part of the issue will be what timing she has available as well...this week she could do 7pm on tuesday or 6.30pm on monday....I opted for monday as since I am finishing work at 3.30pm I dont really wanna hang around the gym till 7pm....but monday is a good night for doing classes at the gym (they have body balance and boxing on mondays) so a better option is to do classes on a monday. But Ill see how this all pans out. Its a lot of money to spend ($76 a week) if the times dont work great. Id ultimately prefer to get into the gym do my cardio or a class and then head home at a decent hour, especially in winter. I dont want to look like I am all over the place to the gym tho, cos I will admit part of me is just tempted to cancel PT...but I need to give it a true go.
Not a lot else going on...looks like a nice day outside! Enjoy your sunday all :)
Last night I lazed around watching season 1 of melrose place (the original series) I watched the first 4 episodes and then skipped ahead to episode 15 when Jo joined the show...she was/is a hottie so was keen to get up to there lol.
So I am working till 3.30pm today. Then Tania is picking me up and we are going down to Semaphore to go walking and to have some dinner. I bought a vivofit the other day, cannot remember if I mentioned that on here or not (I went away from fitbit because I wanted one I can wear on my wrist and I dont like the clasp on fitbit and plus when I get back into running I wanna buy a Garmin running HRM so this made sense)
So the step goal on the vivofit for today (it varies depending on past usage) is 6419 steps, which I should easily hit...I am sitting at 916 steps at the moment...but am planning to go out walking in my first break.
The more I think about it the more I want my focus to be on cardio. So that is a aim this week to really focus on that and get that up with a mix of walking, stairs and cross trainer.
I think I also mentioned previously that I started with a new trainer as my old trainer left the gym. She is a nice girl, but as of yet I am not quite convinced yet it will work. I will give it a month or so and if I dont feel its the right fit I will let them know. Its hard to tell from one session if it will work or not and whether you will "click" with them. I have been thinking if it doesnt work out maybe I will cancel the PT and just stick to gym classes, cos lets face it the key at the moment for me is cardio. Part of the issue will be what timing she has available as well...this week she could do 7pm on tuesday or 6.30pm on monday....I opted for monday as since I am finishing work at 3.30pm I dont really wanna hang around the gym till 7pm....but monday is a good night for doing classes at the gym (they have body balance and boxing on mondays) so a better option is to do classes on a monday. But Ill see how this all pans out. Its a lot of money to spend ($76 a week) if the times dont work great. Id ultimately prefer to get into the gym do my cardio or a class and then head home at a decent hour, especially in winter. I dont want to look like I am all over the place to the gym tho, cos I will admit part of me is just tempted to cancel PT...but I need to give it a true go.
Not a lot else going on...looks like a nice day outside! Enjoy your sunday all :)
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Saturday April 18
Well its the weekend! YAY :) But actually I am working tomorrow lol...they were offering overtime so I took up the opportunity. So working 7.30am-3.30pm and we get a quarterly bonus this week so will be a nice pay packet (which is good as I need a new winter jacket!)
I took a progress photo today. First time I have done that for a long, long time. (Funnily I didnt take pics as I was gaining weight lol) So here it is with my original before pic...so as of this morning I am 122.6 kilos which puts me at a total loss of 50.5 kilos since the original start of this journey...and leaves me 42.6 kilos to lose to get to my total goal! But to be honest...total loss is currently is 50.5 kilos....my current focus is simply to get to 55 kilos lost....so 4.5 kilos to go....so current goal is simply 118.1 kilos :)
I took a progress photo today. First time I have done that for a long, long time. (Funnily I didnt take pics as I was gaining weight lol) So here it is with my original before pic...so as of this morning I am 122.6 kilos which puts me at a total loss of 50.5 kilos since the original start of this journey...and leaves me 42.6 kilos to lose to get to my total goal! But to be honest...total loss is currently is 50.5 kilos....my current focus is simply to get to 55 kilos lost....so 4.5 kilos to go....so current goal is simply 118.1 kilos :)
 |
| Progress Photo - April 18 2015 |
I woke up VERY sore this morning....thursday nights PT session is catching up with me! lol...I mean...so sore....getting out of bed was a struggle...lol....so no exercise for me today....tomorrow I am going walking with Tania. Which brings me to what I want to focus on....and that is CARDIO. Ill be doing weights in my PT sessions....and one or two body pump classes a week...ill hopefully do at least one body balance class a week (two on good weeks) but rest of the time I want to focus on cardio. And even tho I wanna focus on cardio I am dreading it lol. At my weight...and with having lost so much fitness cardio is a struggle. Starting monday I will do one lot of the 7 flights of stairs at the gym....I mean initially it doesnt matter how many times i try or stop for a rest...as long as I am doing....Ill also then do 20 minutes on the cross trainer (I did manage 20 minutes thursday night so its just to slowly increase the level I am on) and also 20 minutes incline walking in the treadmill ... I will leave that at 7% incline but slowly work on increasing the speed. Hopefully after a few weeks my fitness has improved enough that I can start to look at doing boxing (the gym has classes for this monday and friday evenings and its something I have always enjoyed) So my aim for this week is:
sunday : walking with tania
monday : my cardio workout plus a PT session
tuesday : RPM
wednesday : my cardio workout plus a food coaching session
thursday : PT session plus 20 minutes cross trainer
friday :
saturday : gym closed
sunday : my cardio workout
Tonight I am making my low fat version of pasta carbonara....so looking forward to it!! yum yum!
Enjoy your saturday night
BTW a vlog on foods I like eating coming up on my you tube this evening Kazzs You Tube Channel
Friday, April 17, 2015
Time for a update, eh?
Well definitely time for a update :)
I got back on track last saturday and ive been doing awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee! Its funny how its just kinda all clicked all of a sudden.
Last saturday morning i was 127.1 kilos and 51.7% fat. On wednesday morning I was 123.7 kilos and this morning was actually 122.9 kilos wooo hoooo!! Ive been eating 2000 calories a day...but i am eating very clean....and i think thats whats allowing me to eat so much but still lose...ill give some examples of what i am eating (and may do a vlog on this at some stage)
So breakfast has been the same day in and day out but I love it....I soak some oats in hot water...then add peanut butter, banana and sultanas....so yummy....I swear its the highlight of my day.
Lunch has been mostly roast chicken breast and quinoa and brown rice mix....and i add either sultanas or pineapple to it (I have eaten NO bread since i got back on track)
Some days if I am at home for lunch i make a "breakfast pizza"....so i throw a soft wrap in the oven to crisp it...then i cook bacon, spring onion, mushrooms....then mix 100 grams of egg whites and 2 whole eggs add that to the bacon mix and cook it....then i did the cripy wrap....throw the eggs/bacon mix on top then add 25 grams of low fat cheese...so yummy!
Dinner...i either make a smoothie (greek yoghurt, almond milk, frozen banana, PB2chocolate, chocolate protein powder) or more chicken and rice (lol)....or make a home made kebab...take a wrap which i hear in a pan...then add home made tzatiki, roasted chicken breast (which i put a lemon thyme seasoning on it) and salad....super yummy and clean....low in sodium
My snacks are things like quest bars, greek yoghurt with flavoured protein powder added to it, occassional freddo frog, 1 date and 3 walnut pieces, smoothie, protein icecream (whey whip)
The only thing i eat on occassion that is high sodium is the bacon....
I buy egg whites in a container (coles sell them in the fridge near the processed meats)...ive been using the plain one but today picked up one that has spinach and feta added to it....i might try a omlette of that on a wrap tomorrow.
I am also back at the gym...doing food coaching and did my first PT session with my new trainer last night (the previous trainer has left the gym)...i didnt go tonight altho tomorrow i will....my aim is to go the 2 days i do PT, 1 day i do food coaching and saturday mornings.....thats 4 days a week which for the moment i think is fine. This sunday tho i am working and after work i am going walking with tania.
I did do a vlog the other day too...ive linked it here....lemme know what you think....if you want to see more...no you dont wanna see more..what topics or type of vlogs you would like to see...
I got back on track last saturday and ive been doing awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee! Its funny how its just kinda all clicked all of a sudden.
Last saturday morning i was 127.1 kilos and 51.7% fat. On wednesday morning I was 123.7 kilos and this morning was actually 122.9 kilos wooo hoooo!! Ive been eating 2000 calories a day...but i am eating very clean....and i think thats whats allowing me to eat so much but still lose...ill give some examples of what i am eating (and may do a vlog on this at some stage)
So breakfast has been the same day in and day out but I love it....I soak some oats in hot water...then add peanut butter, banana and sultanas....so yummy....I swear its the highlight of my day.
Lunch has been mostly roast chicken breast and quinoa and brown rice mix....and i add either sultanas or pineapple to it (I have eaten NO bread since i got back on track)
Some days if I am at home for lunch i make a "breakfast pizza"....so i throw a soft wrap in the oven to crisp it...then i cook bacon, spring onion, mushrooms....then mix 100 grams of egg whites and 2 whole eggs add that to the bacon mix and cook it....then i did the cripy wrap....throw the eggs/bacon mix on top then add 25 grams of low fat cheese...so yummy!
Dinner...i either make a smoothie (greek yoghurt, almond milk, frozen banana, PB2chocolate, chocolate protein powder) or more chicken and rice (lol)....or make a home made kebab...take a wrap which i hear in a pan...then add home made tzatiki, roasted chicken breast (which i put a lemon thyme seasoning on it) and salad....super yummy and clean....low in sodium
My snacks are things like quest bars, greek yoghurt with flavoured protein powder added to it, occassional freddo frog, 1 date and 3 walnut pieces, smoothie, protein icecream (whey whip)
The only thing i eat on occassion that is high sodium is the bacon....
I buy egg whites in a container (coles sell them in the fridge near the processed meats)...ive been using the plain one but today picked up one that has spinach and feta added to it....i might try a omlette of that on a wrap tomorrow.
I am also back at the gym...doing food coaching and did my first PT session with my new trainer last night (the previous trainer has left the gym)...i didnt go tonight altho tomorrow i will....my aim is to go the 2 days i do PT, 1 day i do food coaching and saturday mornings.....thats 4 days a week which for the moment i think is fine. This sunday tho i am working and after work i am going walking with tania.
I did do a vlog the other day too...ive linked it here....lemme know what you think....if you want to see more...no you dont wanna see more..what topics or type of vlogs you would like to see...
Friday, April 10, 2015
Finding the passion
When I was successful with my weight loss all those years ago, one of the key things with why I was successful was it wasnt just a "diet"....it was my hobby, my passion. When big things in my life happened (dealing with a death in my family) I lost that....I lost my way...and was simply trying to get thru my day without awful visions my mind came up with of last moments, I lost it and I dont think for a long time it even occurred to me I lost it. For many months now I have been aware of this and I have wondered "how do I get that back?"
Going back a few weeks ago....I was in a rut...I really wasnt in the zone....I was going thru the steps cos I felt thats what everyone else expected. I knew I wasnt going to be successful with this mindset...so I emailed the gym said can you put my membership on hold....they emailed me back and asked if everything was okay....my response was:
"....my headspace in relation to exercise and eating well etc....I dont seem to have the right head space (which is partly why I signed up for food coaching)....I have a few good days then a few bad days so I am hoping a week or so of not focusing on it I might get the drive back :)"
At first I did nothing...I ate bad....was completely lazy....spent lots of time watching netflix. Slowly I was starting to get the drive back...over the weekend I thought...I might go on you tube and see if i can find any decent weight loss docs. Initially I found one documentary on this woman who went from being pregnant to a fitness model....a good 1 hour documentary....which I realised was used to try and sell her "plan". A day or later I did a search on you tube again searching "weight loss transformations" I found a couple of good ones...then I found one called obesetobeast...man...i was addicted! I watched this channel for hours! I came home from work today....watched more of his channel...then thru a link on his channel found another one called "Fit men cook" omg more addicted! And I have only watched 3 of his videos so far lol...suddenly i realised that interest was still there...I still enjoy watching about nutrition and peoples fitness journeys....I just needed to realise it is no longer 2006 and mediums change. I have kept this blog going for a longggggggggggg time...its been going for 9 years now....but lets be honest blogging isnt one of the great social network mediums these days. So back tracking a lil bit. A few days ago I emailed the gym and asked if my membership could be reactivated as of 16.4. The owner of the gym called me, explained my trainer had left the gym and I would be doing food coaching with her and she could see me on the 15th.
After watching you tube this week I knew what I wanted...I want this...I dont want it cos its expected of me...I want to become a strong warrior (noticed not a skinny warrior ;)) First thing I did was email the company I have in the past used for protein powder (www.aplussupplements.com.au), advising them how much weight I want to lose, how I normally eat my protein powder and what protein powder would they recommend? I also then asked them about pre workout supplements...they wrote back very quickly...recommended 3 different protein powders and also recommended a pre workout...when i looked at the pre workout....there was a few things that made me keen on it. One it isnt the type the causes sleep issues or makes you jittery, two...it has green tea in it three...elevates your metabolism....four...provides vital minerals and vitamins such as fatty acids...five .... surpresses appetite somewhat six...its also suppose to be a mood enhancer too....So i order both it and the protein powder....which I should receive both early next week.
I then knew I needed to pick a start date. From that date....thats it....on track. I have also messaged someone who has helped me in the past working out my calories and macros. I wont be eating less then 1800 calories...but as I have gained weight I want to make sure thats enough. I was never a fan of 1200 calorie diets...in fact I detested them (sorry all the michelle bridges fans!) im not saying i wont do 1200 cals at any point...but at close to 130 kilos....1200 calories is the last thing I need! My focus is to eat as much as I can while still losing weight and seeing body shape changes. At the most I think he will suggest my calories be 2000.....which sounds a lot...but when i was a lil under 90 kilos I would eat 1800 cals and would see big changes in my body shape eating that and focusing on my macros!
Ive decided also with this new journey (and lets face it...its different to before and I dont want to rest on my laurels) I want my focus to be on instagram, you tube and facebook. I am considering changing my name from "kazzs journey" the reason for this? Well im honestly thinking long term....when I lost my weight before...opportunities came my way....I just never felt I capitalised on them. In the past Thats Life has told me they would like to do another story if I got to goal...there are so many opportunities that could come my way from....(and this is way in the future!) from writing ebooks (on my journey, my tips etc)....creating tshirts with my logo...maybe way way way down the track doing some sort of coaching or motivational support....maybe a site which could go in who knows what direction....so (and I am getting to my point! lol) whilst I realise "Kazzs Journey" has a bit of a following I dont think its a great title for something like that...it needs to be something more thats identifiable as me, that is more of a logo...motto...and not merely my name. I would like to decide on one of these and then start to get myself out in the social networking world under this new identity (so ie you tube, facebook, instagram and possibly blog altho I think if i do a blog i will try and workout word press! So if anyone has any helpful hints send them my way! I want to become much more involved...cos this IS my hobby....I want to learn about graphics (I can do some basic stuff)....learn web design....learn video editing..this is no longer a "diet" its not even a "lifestyle" its back to it being my passion! ;)
In relation to you tube and instagram thats prolly my initial focus. And will start to play with that on saturday (which is day 1 for getting back on track!) My plan is saturday I will video parts of my day...video my weigh in....and video my food.
Down the track I will do videos on topics...i will try and "interview" different friends on weight loss journeys or weight loss champions...and maybe way way way down the track even podcasts might be a thing!
So now that I have got that out there! LOL I need to think about this new identity....I would love to hear all your suggestions! I want it to be something thats very me, thats unique and catchy. Something that captures what I am about (and I will stress again that is to become someone who is fit, healthy,glowing, strong....not someone skinny with lil energy)
So some of my thoughts are:
Fluffytofabulous
ProteinPrincess
Fluffy2fit
Porky2Princess
Sheddingthefluffyme
Formerfluffball
The strength in me
Bestversionofme
championofchange
Successwithstrength
strengthandsuccess
persistancenotperfection
Id really love a identity that uses the word strength or strong in it....I also kinda like the word fluffy (in case you hadnt gathered LOL) anyway if you have any thoughts let me know!
Going back a few weeks ago....I was in a rut...I really wasnt in the zone....I was going thru the steps cos I felt thats what everyone else expected. I knew I wasnt going to be successful with this mindset...so I emailed the gym said can you put my membership on hold....they emailed me back and asked if everything was okay....my response was:
"....my headspace in relation to exercise and eating well etc....I dont seem to have the right head space (which is partly why I signed up for food coaching)....I have a few good days then a few bad days so I am hoping a week or so of not focusing on it I might get the drive back :)"
At first I did nothing...I ate bad....was completely lazy....spent lots of time watching netflix. Slowly I was starting to get the drive back...over the weekend I thought...I might go on you tube and see if i can find any decent weight loss docs. Initially I found one documentary on this woman who went from being pregnant to a fitness model....a good 1 hour documentary....which I realised was used to try and sell her "plan". A day or later I did a search on you tube again searching "weight loss transformations" I found a couple of good ones...then I found one called obesetobeast...man...i was addicted! I watched this channel for hours! I came home from work today....watched more of his channel...then thru a link on his channel found another one called "Fit men cook" omg more addicted! And I have only watched 3 of his videos so far lol...suddenly i realised that interest was still there...I still enjoy watching about nutrition and peoples fitness journeys....I just needed to realise it is no longer 2006 and mediums change. I have kept this blog going for a longggggggggggg time...its been going for 9 years now....but lets be honest blogging isnt one of the great social network mediums these days. So back tracking a lil bit. A few days ago I emailed the gym and asked if my membership could be reactivated as of 16.4. The owner of the gym called me, explained my trainer had left the gym and I would be doing food coaching with her and she could see me on the 15th.
After watching you tube this week I knew what I wanted...I want this...I dont want it cos its expected of me...I want to become a strong warrior (noticed not a skinny warrior ;)) First thing I did was email the company I have in the past used for protein powder (www.aplussupplements.com.au), advising them how much weight I want to lose, how I normally eat my protein powder and what protein powder would they recommend? I also then asked them about pre workout supplements...they wrote back very quickly...recommended 3 different protein powders and also recommended a pre workout...when i looked at the pre workout....there was a few things that made me keen on it. One it isnt the type the causes sleep issues or makes you jittery, two...it has green tea in it three...elevates your metabolism....four...provides vital minerals and vitamins such as fatty acids...five .... surpresses appetite somewhat six...its also suppose to be a mood enhancer too....So i order both it and the protein powder....which I should receive both early next week.
I then knew I needed to pick a start date. From that date....thats it....on track. I have also messaged someone who has helped me in the past working out my calories and macros. I wont be eating less then 1800 calories...but as I have gained weight I want to make sure thats enough. I was never a fan of 1200 calorie diets...in fact I detested them (sorry all the michelle bridges fans!) im not saying i wont do 1200 cals at any point...but at close to 130 kilos....1200 calories is the last thing I need! My focus is to eat as much as I can while still losing weight and seeing body shape changes. At the most I think he will suggest my calories be 2000.....which sounds a lot...but when i was a lil under 90 kilos I would eat 1800 cals and would see big changes in my body shape eating that and focusing on my macros!
Ive decided also with this new journey (and lets face it...its different to before and I dont want to rest on my laurels) I want my focus to be on instagram, you tube and facebook. I am considering changing my name from "kazzs journey" the reason for this? Well im honestly thinking long term....when I lost my weight before...opportunities came my way....I just never felt I capitalised on them. In the past Thats Life has told me they would like to do another story if I got to goal...there are so many opportunities that could come my way from....(and this is way in the future!) from writing ebooks (on my journey, my tips etc)....creating tshirts with my logo...maybe way way way down the track doing some sort of coaching or motivational support....maybe a site which could go in who knows what direction....so (and I am getting to my point! lol) whilst I realise "Kazzs Journey" has a bit of a following I dont think its a great title for something like that...it needs to be something more thats identifiable as me, that is more of a logo...motto...and not merely my name. I would like to decide on one of these and then start to get myself out in the social networking world under this new identity (so ie you tube, facebook, instagram and possibly blog altho I think if i do a blog i will try and workout word press! So if anyone has any helpful hints send them my way! I want to become much more involved...cos this IS my hobby....I want to learn about graphics (I can do some basic stuff)....learn web design....learn video editing..this is no longer a "diet" its not even a "lifestyle" its back to it being my passion! ;)
In relation to you tube and instagram thats prolly my initial focus. And will start to play with that on saturday (which is day 1 for getting back on track!) My plan is saturday I will video parts of my day...video my weigh in....and video my food.
Down the track I will do videos on topics...i will try and "interview" different friends on weight loss journeys or weight loss champions...and maybe way way way down the track even podcasts might be a thing!
So now that I have got that out there! LOL I need to think about this new identity....I would love to hear all your suggestions! I want it to be something thats very me, thats unique and catchy. Something that captures what I am about (and I will stress again that is to become someone who is fit, healthy,glowing, strong....not someone skinny with lil energy)
So some of my thoughts are:
Fluffytofabulous
ProteinPrincess
Fluffy2fit
Porky2Princess
Sheddingthefluffyme
Formerfluffball
The strength in me
Bestversionofme
championofchange
Successwithstrength
strengthandsuccess
persistancenotperfection
Id really love a identity that uses the word strength or strong in it....I also kinda like the word fluffy (in case you hadnt gathered LOL) anyway if you have any thoughts let me know!
Wednesday, April 08, 2015
Important Thoughts
Well stuff has happened! LOL
I had a mild gall bladder attack...which is left me struggling to sleep at night as well as pain. Ive spent 2+ days straight in bed. Its 7pm and I am ready for sleep now!
I had a call from the gym last night....and my trainer who i had only had for a few weeks has left the gym :( So i havent been to the gym for a few weeks as I didnt feel I was in the right head space, but I am returning on april 15....so a week today! Ill do a food coaching session that night....first one...and then on thursday night I will do PT with the new trainer.
Ive spent quite a few hours watching you tube over the last few days. Its really given me the drive back. And the drive to build a strong body...not a skinny body ;)
Ive also been thinking a lot about what happened when i was at my lowest then lost the plot. And yanno there were a couple of things that I realise I need to be very aware of otherwise the same thing will happen when I get back there. The first is...I am not going to stop losing at any weight till I get to the weight i AM happy with. When I lost the weight before I got lots of comments like "you are not going to lose anymore are you?" "your face is too skinny" "you dont look healthy"
This was me when I was at my smallest. Do I look unhealthy? Nope. Do I look too skinny ? Nope? In all honesty i think i looked fanfreakingtastic....yep I still had weight to lose off my tummy and thighs...but I looked gooooooooooooooooooooood! Lesson learnt....this time I will not stop till I am at the weight i want! Till I can look at me and go..."yep i am finished" (in the weight loss department that is)
The other thing was i had a lot of people giving their opinion on whether i was going to have skin surgery. People were very pushy of what they thought I should go thru....of what pain/financial strain/recovery time I should go thru. I am not saying I wont have surgery when at goal and I am not saying I will...but you know...if someone had a big nose you wouldnt go to them telling them that they are crazy if they dont have nose job....that they are not complete if they dont have surgery. IF i have surgery....it will be my decision...I will put it out there simply for the time needed off work and the financial cost (and remembering i have no family support where i live) the chance of me having it done is very unlikely....but it will not take away from my journey....it will not take away from me living my best life....it will simply be how it is....purely a cosmetic issue....my scars which I am choosing to keep. I feel very strongly that this time i will not allow ANYONE to push me on this topic.
I am getting on track 110% as of saturday...food coaching and back to the gym on wednesday...I am so ready to do this and finish this journey once and for all.
I had a mild gall bladder attack...which is left me struggling to sleep at night as well as pain. Ive spent 2+ days straight in bed. Its 7pm and I am ready for sleep now!
I had a call from the gym last night....and my trainer who i had only had for a few weeks has left the gym :( So i havent been to the gym for a few weeks as I didnt feel I was in the right head space, but I am returning on april 15....so a week today! Ill do a food coaching session that night....first one...and then on thursday night I will do PT with the new trainer.
Ive spent quite a few hours watching you tube over the last few days. Its really given me the drive back. And the drive to build a strong body...not a skinny body ;)
Ive also been thinking a lot about what happened when i was at my lowest then lost the plot. And yanno there were a couple of things that I realise I need to be very aware of otherwise the same thing will happen when I get back there. The first is...I am not going to stop losing at any weight till I get to the weight i AM happy with. When I lost the weight before I got lots of comments like "you are not going to lose anymore are you?" "your face is too skinny" "you dont look healthy"
This was me when I was at my smallest. Do I look unhealthy? Nope. Do I look too skinny ? Nope? In all honesty i think i looked fanfreakingtastic....yep I still had weight to lose off my tummy and thighs...but I looked gooooooooooooooooooooood! Lesson learnt....this time I will not stop till I am at the weight i want! Till I can look at me and go..."yep i am finished" (in the weight loss department that is)
The other thing was i had a lot of people giving their opinion on whether i was going to have skin surgery. People were very pushy of what they thought I should go thru....of what pain/financial strain/recovery time I should go thru. I am not saying I wont have surgery when at goal and I am not saying I will...but you know...if someone had a big nose you wouldnt go to them telling them that they are crazy if they dont have nose job....that they are not complete if they dont have surgery. IF i have surgery....it will be my decision...I will put it out there simply for the time needed off work and the financial cost (and remembering i have no family support where i live) the chance of me having it done is very unlikely....but it will not take away from my journey....it will not take away from me living my best life....it will simply be how it is....purely a cosmetic issue....my scars which I am choosing to keep. I feel very strongly that this time i will not allow ANYONE to push me on this topic.
I am getting on track 110% as of saturday...food coaching and back to the gym on wednesday...I am so ready to do this and finish this journey once and for all.
Monday, April 06, 2015
Happy Easter Monday all :)
Well....todays plans fell apart. I was planning to go out to lunch and to see The Sugar Film....but my cycle arrived and I ended up with bad cramps so I bailed. I was super disappointed as i have been SO eager to see this film...i WILL see it at some point!
So ive mostly spent the day in bed (with a couple of panadeine forte)...thankfully TV1 had a seinfeld marathon (which I am STILL watching ;))
I had a good food day again :) 2 days ago i was 127 kilos .... this morning i was 124.9 kilos. Ive been thinking a lot about how i want to focus on weight work this time with my weight loss. I feel rather motivated about it. But i had put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks....and wasnt due to go back till April 30 but contemplating writing to them and going back on april 16. I hadnt felt like I was in the right head space...and I am glad I took a break....I think by the time I go back I will have that exercise desire.
Back to work tomorrow..only a 4 day week which is nice...but the next 3 weeks I have 7.30am starts which is earlier then I am use too which means setting my alarm for 5.30am...this may kill me haha!
Have a good night all :)
So ive mostly spent the day in bed (with a couple of panadeine forte)...thankfully TV1 had a seinfeld marathon (which I am STILL watching ;))
I had a good food day again :) 2 days ago i was 127 kilos .... this morning i was 124.9 kilos. Ive been thinking a lot about how i want to focus on weight work this time with my weight loss. I feel rather motivated about it. But i had put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks....and wasnt due to go back till April 30 but contemplating writing to them and going back on april 16. I hadnt felt like I was in the right head space...and I am glad I took a break....I think by the time I go back I will have that exercise desire.
Back to work tomorrow..only a 4 day week which is nice...but the next 3 weeks I have 7.30am starts which is earlier then I am use too which means setting my alarm for 5.30am...this may kill me haha!
Have a good night all :)
Sunday, April 05, 2015
A good day :)
So after yesterdays posts i got a few messages about "your not a failure till you stop trying etc" for me...stating what I did yesterday was important. I need to be open and honest about this journey...I have not been successful in weight loss for 2.5 years so it was very important to put it out there.
Today has been a pretty good day, I wanted to stick to 1700 calories, and i ate 1673 calories, in that i ate lots of good foods....yoghurt, blueberries, goji berries, almonds, spinach, tomatos, peanut butter, banana, cheese - so lots of good nutritional foods in there ! :)
I didnt exercise but im not to stressed about that...i had a good eating day so I am happy with that. I put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks....I may go back after 2 weeks....still contemplating that. Will make a decision over the next week or so.
One thing I didnt mention on yesterdays post is how I have stopped taking care of me. When I was doing well every second saturday after the gym I would go get my eyebrows waxed....last time i had them waxed? The day I went and saw Jillian....that was last October...nearly 6 months ago! I have been slack about even shaving my arms and legs (that may be TMI),,,,,this morning tho the pits and legs got a good going over hahaha! I noticed today....on the bottom layers of my hair i have some really nice honey streaks....im actually thinking about having it done thru my hair but thicker and more on the top layer.
Not much else to say ;)
Today has been a pretty good day, I wanted to stick to 1700 calories, and i ate 1673 calories, in that i ate lots of good foods....yoghurt, blueberries, goji berries, almonds, spinach, tomatos, peanut butter, banana, cheese - so lots of good nutritional foods in there ! :)
I didnt exercise but im not to stressed about that...i had a good eating day so I am happy with that. I put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks....I may go back after 2 weeks....still contemplating that. Will make a decision over the next week or so.
One thing I didnt mention on yesterdays post is how I have stopped taking care of me. When I was doing well every second saturday after the gym I would go get my eyebrows waxed....last time i had them waxed? The day I went and saw Jillian....that was last October...nearly 6 months ago! I have been slack about even shaving my arms and legs (that may be TMI),,,,,this morning tho the pits and legs got a good going over hahaha! I noticed today....on the bottom layers of my hair i have some really nice honey streaks....im actually thinking about having it done thru my hair but thicker and more on the top layer.
Not much else to say ;)
Saturday, April 04, 2015
New beginnings...
So first things first, yes my journal has a new look! I felt it was time for new beginnings and a different look...im not very good with blogger but wanted a cleaner look...I was going to go for a white background....but I kinda like this....its clean and crisp....if people find the font hard to read please let me know!
Today i woke with a cold...blooming running nose and chit....and have slept on and off for a lot of the day. I then had eaten a pile of carbs...went to the grocery store....and got dizzy ..... its not the cold....its my sugar levels prolly at some ridiculous amount from all the carbs. Tonight I sat down and watched fat, sick and nearly dead 2. I found this such a good documentary. I had seen the first one but found this one much more enlightening. There is a bigger focus in it on the psychological side of why we choose junk food over vegetables. I would definitely recommend it. If you have netflix its on there to watch.
It also discussed how when things arent going good we hide. I think I have felt a pressure to still be "the weight loss queen" as I feel thats how people see me...and i have tried emit that but on the inside i feel more like "the weight loss failure" There is two very separate weight loss journeys 2006-2012 and the next journey starts now. I need to look at this fresh and I need to step out of hiding and be more willing to take on support. In my real life some of my weight watchers friends more regularly and I am hoping to embrace that even more. I need to update here more regularly and on my facebook group. I need to be vulnerable enough to take support and advice.
I thankfully went shopping today bought lots of greek yoghurt, sultanas, pumpkin seeds, ham, bananas, peanut butter, spinach tomatos etc etc. I feel tomorrow is a fresh start...weigh in tomorrow morning...go for a walk....get some housework done. And i will take a "before" pic which I will upload here.
Enjoy easter sunday all :)
Today i woke with a cold...blooming running nose and chit....and have slept on and off for a lot of the day. I then had eaten a pile of carbs...went to the grocery store....and got dizzy ..... its not the cold....its my sugar levels prolly at some ridiculous amount from all the carbs. Tonight I sat down and watched fat, sick and nearly dead 2. I found this such a good documentary. I had seen the first one but found this one much more enlightening. There is a bigger focus in it on the psychological side of why we choose junk food over vegetables. I would definitely recommend it. If you have netflix its on there to watch.
It also discussed how when things arent going good we hide. I think I have felt a pressure to still be "the weight loss queen" as I feel thats how people see me...and i have tried emit that but on the inside i feel more like "the weight loss failure" There is two very separate weight loss journeys 2006-2012 and the next journey starts now. I need to look at this fresh and I need to step out of hiding and be more willing to take on support. In my real life some of my weight watchers friends more regularly and I am hoping to embrace that even more. I need to update here more regularly and on my facebook group. I need to be vulnerable enough to take support and advice.
I thankfully went shopping today bought lots of greek yoghurt, sultanas, pumpkin seeds, ham, bananas, peanut butter, spinach tomatos etc etc. I feel tomorrow is a fresh start...weigh in tomorrow morning...go for a walk....get some housework done. And i will take a "before" pic which I will upload here.
Enjoy easter sunday all :)
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Foxy Challenge - Day 6
So day 6 and the thing I am finding most interesting is how my cravings have subsided. I think this comes down to one primary thing....restricting bread and eating better grains. I have still had things like soft wraps, barley, oats....so im still having good grains but not eating bread or eating a lot less I think has a lot to do with my cravings subsiding. So since monday I have eaten 4 slices of bread...it actually wasnt part of the foxy menu plan....but considering the bread-aholic i normally am I am very happy with that.
This morning I went to body pump. It was a hour long class. And it felt a lot better then when I did pump 4 weeks ago....so I really feel my endurance is improving....no difference in the weights....but I just felt I coped better.
Tomorrow I am working...just doing some overtime for making up when i was sick the week before last.....jsut working 10 till 4.30pm and I will go for a walk in the evening. Today and thursday I rolled out my calve and it seems to be helping my achilles....the big test will be how it copes walking tomorrow. Then monday I am off...I will go in and do pump and balance at lunch time and then a PT session of weights that night....its a lot in one day but I dont get week days off often so might as well make the most of it.
Enjoy your saturday night all :)
This morning I went to body pump. It was a hour long class. And it felt a lot better then when I did pump 4 weeks ago....so I really feel my endurance is improving....no difference in the weights....but I just felt I coped better.
Tomorrow I am working...just doing some overtime for making up when i was sick the week before last.....jsut working 10 till 4.30pm and I will go for a walk in the evening. Today and thursday I rolled out my calve and it seems to be helping my achilles....the big test will be how it copes walking tomorrow. Then monday I am off...I will go in and do pump and balance at lunch time and then a PT session of weights that night....its a lot in one day but I dont get week days off often so might as well make the most of it.
Enjoy your saturday night all :)
Friday, March 20, 2015
Foxy Challenge - Day 5
Well today has been a good and bad day. Up to about 3pm my eating was not good. Come lunchtime I realised I need the accountability of weighing in front of someone so I have signed up for food coaching....starting April 8. I then started thinking about my latest excuse "im not fit enough for the gym" so time to just get thru it all even if i dont enjoy it currently. So tomorrow morning i am going to the gym and doing body pump and body balance.
Next weeks fitness plans are:
Monday:pump and balance (lunchtime) + pt weights (evening)
tuesday: RPM
wednesday:6km walk
thursday: PT boxing
friday:pump (im going to try and make that) if not 45 minutes on treadmill
saturday:rest day
sunday:7km walk with tania
I have found some food combos i have rather liked on this challenge. My fave breakfast is greek yoghurt, goji berris and almonds. A fave snack has also been a banana and 12 almonds. I just have to keep working on making good choices everyday.
Next weeks fitness plans are:
Monday:pump and balance (lunchtime) + pt weights (evening)
tuesday: RPM
wednesday:6km walk
thursday: PT boxing
friday:pump (im going to try and make that) if not 45 minutes on treadmill
saturday:rest day
sunday:7km walk with tania
I have found some food combos i have rather liked on this challenge. My fave breakfast is greek yoghurt, goji berris and almonds. A fave snack has also been a banana and 12 almonds. I just have to keep working on making good choices everyday.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Foxy Challenge - Day 4
Well things are going very well so far!! Food has all been on point and most importantly my mindset feels really good. I feel a sense of ease...im not sure if its the anti depressents starting to work (I am sure that is part of it) ....and its making me realise how good my life actually is :) I think I am more proud of the mindset more then anything!
I had PT tonight... we did boxing and I could feel my fitness is improving. It was a real solid workout but I felt very capable...even Hayley commented how well I did tonight...she did mention I barely grumbled LOL I then told her I weighed this morning (I am down 2.5 kilos from monday) she turned around to me and said "you will win" i was like lol...I dont come to the gym enough to win...she then told me at her last gym....the top 3 members in the foxy challenge were all her clients lol *pressure*
As I think I have mentioned before i am not concerned with "getting the most points" in this challenge...what i am interested in is creating habits....getting back to clean eating like i use to do...and work towards getting to goal weight. The only real competition is with myself being better today when I was yesterday :)
Thanks for reading all! :)
I had PT tonight... we did boxing and I could feel my fitness is improving. It was a real solid workout but I felt very capable...even Hayley commented how well I did tonight...she did mention I barely grumbled LOL I then told her I weighed this morning (I am down 2.5 kilos from monday) she turned around to me and said "you will win" i was like lol...I dont come to the gym enough to win...she then told me at her last gym....the top 3 members in the foxy challenge were all her clients lol *pressure*
As I think I have mentioned before i am not concerned with "getting the most points" in this challenge...what i am interested in is creating habits....getting back to clean eating like i use to do...and work towards getting to goal weight. The only real competition is with myself being better today when I was yesterday :)
Thanks for reading all! :)
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Foxy Challenge - Day 2
Well day 2 of the challenge is nearly over :) This morning I was 2.1 kilos down....yay! I have stuck the gym....only thing I didnt do .... was LOL....they came around work with lindt chocolate balls....i freaking love those things! lol So i did have 2....(158 calories total)...then they came around with malteezers which I said no too. But I feel very impressed with me.
I havent been to the gym as much as I could I guess. There is a point component for gym attendance...Im not too focused on that tho....I am only concerned with getting weight loss results :) For me its not about a competition (well apart from the competition with myself)....this is a stepping stone for getting to goal for me. Its setting down habits so I can continue to be healthy for the rest of my life.
A pic of tonights dinner....mexican beef salad :)
I havent been to the gym as much as I could I guess. There is a point component for gym attendance...Im not too focused on that tho....I am only concerned with getting weight loss results :) For me its not about a competition (well apart from the competition with myself)....this is a stepping stone for getting to goal for me. Its setting down habits so I can continue to be healthy for the rest of my life.
A pic of tonights dinner....mexican beef salad :)
Monday, March 16, 2015
Foxy Challenge - Day 1
So day 1 went a treat! Im impressed with me :) I took before pics and weighed in....126.1 kilos - eek! I am hoping to be 122.1 kilos or lower next monday morning.
I stuck to the food 110% it was all pretty delishus. Then went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the bike and then a PT session with hayley. It was mostly weights and then right at the end we did some HIIT on the rower....5 minutes.....30 seconds going hard...then 30 seconds slower....and repeat for 5 minutes lol...it was killing my legs and lungs the last minute! lol
Tomorrows plan is hopefully i will make it in time for RPM...if i dont make it a time i will prolly do pump or just walk on the treadmill for 45 minutes (dependant on how sore i am)
I also drank in excess of 2 litres of water....and lived in the toilet hahaha...i even told my boss cos i was worried he would think i was just nicking off to the toilet to bludge LOL.
Also the goal for the end of the 12 weeks is 12 kilos lost. So the aim is 114 kilos :)
I stuck to the food 110% it was all pretty delishus. Then went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the bike and then a PT session with hayley. It was mostly weights and then right at the end we did some HIIT on the rower....5 minutes.....30 seconds going hard...then 30 seconds slower....and repeat for 5 minutes lol...it was killing my legs and lungs the last minute! lol
Tomorrows plan is hopefully i will make it in time for RPM...if i dont make it a time i will prolly do pump or just walk on the treadmill for 45 minutes (dependant on how sore i am)
I also drank in excess of 2 litres of water....and lived in the toilet hahaha...i even told my boss cos i was worried he would think i was just nicking off to the toilet to bludge LOL.
Also the goal for the end of the 12 weeks is 12 kilos lost. So the aim is 114 kilos :)
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Preparation
So tomorrow is day 1 of the foxy challenge and I am all prepared! All food bought....protein balls made....snacks prepared.....lunch organised. Exercise plan organised.
I am completely pumped and my headspace I believe is in the right space. It will be a big week this week...I am hoping to fit in some overtime as well as get to the gym at least 4-5 times this week...so its going to be a busy week!!
I have taken the before photos. Tomorrow morning is weigh in day. My goal for the first week is to lose 4 kilos...will have to be 120% on track for that and I will be.
Have a fantabulous healthy week all :)
I am completely pumped and my headspace I believe is in the right space. It will be a big week this week...I am hoping to fit in some overtime as well as get to the gym at least 4-5 times this week...so its going to be a busy week!!
I have taken the before photos. Tomorrow morning is weigh in day. My goal for the first week is to lose 4 kilos...will have to be 120% on track for that and I will be.
Have a fantabulous healthy week all :)
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Anxiety
So I have had a rough few days.
I have thought for a while I need to be back on antidepressants and prolly need to see a therapist. When I say a "while" I mean prolly over the last 6 months. But over the last 6-8 weeks I felt the time had come. The reason was not the weight gain, but more about my attitudes, wanting to hermit away, lacking interest in anything too much.
Anyway over the weekend I had a lil financial glitch. It was nothing overly major. But it flared my anxiety up to the point monday morning I woke up with sore eyes and a headache so I called into work sick. Monday night I barely slept. I rang the back tuesday morning....got it sorted out (where they told me it was highly unlikely to be a issue) and then as often happens when stress starts to leave me i got a migraine. I then had to go to the doctors....I turn up at the doctors and i am literally sweating...my tshirt is actually damp and i feel like i am going to faint. I felt awful. My doctor wanted me to take the week off....but I cannot afford that so compromised and said i would have today off but go back on thursday. He has put me back on zoloft, and i have a appointment on the 23rd to set up a mental health care plan to set up appointments with a therapist/psychologist.
Today I feel better. I still have a slight headache...but I am up not in bed...doing a few bits and pieces....so needs to be a big focus on my mental health. By focusing on that I think my physical health will improve too. So takes at the most 3 weeks to be effective....if not effective after 3 weeks i will double the dose.
Through out this...miraculously my eating has been better then ever (lol) and I think the foxy challenge has come at just the right time. Exercise for my mental health is going to be more important then ever.
I will be glad to be going back to work tomorrow...Getting back and being busy will help. As I have had a few sick days Ill try and do some overtime next week...not this week or weekend ill alow myself to recover...but the following weekend i have a 3 day weekend so i will prolly work on the saturday.
I have thought for a while I need to be back on antidepressants and prolly need to see a therapist. When I say a "while" I mean prolly over the last 6 months. But over the last 6-8 weeks I felt the time had come. The reason was not the weight gain, but more about my attitudes, wanting to hermit away, lacking interest in anything too much.
Anyway over the weekend I had a lil financial glitch. It was nothing overly major. But it flared my anxiety up to the point monday morning I woke up with sore eyes and a headache so I called into work sick. Monday night I barely slept. I rang the back tuesday morning....got it sorted out (where they told me it was highly unlikely to be a issue) and then as often happens when stress starts to leave me i got a migraine. I then had to go to the doctors....I turn up at the doctors and i am literally sweating...my tshirt is actually damp and i feel like i am going to faint. I felt awful. My doctor wanted me to take the week off....but I cannot afford that so compromised and said i would have today off but go back on thursday. He has put me back on zoloft, and i have a appointment on the 23rd to set up a mental health care plan to set up appointments with a therapist/psychologist.
Today I feel better. I still have a slight headache...but I am up not in bed...doing a few bits and pieces....so needs to be a big focus on my mental health. By focusing on that I think my physical health will improve too. So takes at the most 3 weeks to be effective....if not effective after 3 weeks i will double the dose.
Through out this...miraculously my eating has been better then ever (lol) and I think the foxy challenge has come at just the right time. Exercise for my mental health is going to be more important then ever.
I will be glad to be going back to work tomorrow...Getting back and being busy will help. As I have had a few sick days Ill try and do some overtime next week...not this week or weekend ill alow myself to recover...but the following weekend i have a 3 day weekend so i will prolly work on the saturday.
Sunday, March 08, 2015
My focus has changed...
I took the week off from "dieting". I have no idea what the scales say...but will weigh in tomorrow morning. The thing is something has changed.
I had coffee with Martine this afternoon, I was explaining the foxy challenge starts on the 16th (a week tomorrow). I am getting back on track as of tomorrow. And between now and the end of the foxy challenge I want to get under 110 kilos...(I suspect thats about 15 kilos) but more important then that I want to get to the point of being fit enough of doing 2 group fitness classes (body pump and body balance) one after another....thats the aim. I know from experience...if I focus on the fitness the rest will click into action too. I am still very focused on being double digits by xmas time.
I feel a lot of emotional stuff I have put into perspective in recent weeks. There is nothing I have done in my past I regret....and I cannot control anyone elses actions....if anyone else did anything I didnt like...well that was their option to do...nothing i can do about those ... they are actions they had to live with....Im a good person....in a good place in my life....with my focus, my passion...to become the healthiest and fittest lesbian I can be LOL....things are good and will only get better!
I had coffee with Martine this afternoon, I was explaining the foxy challenge starts on the 16th (a week tomorrow). I am getting back on track as of tomorrow. And between now and the end of the foxy challenge I want to get under 110 kilos...(I suspect thats about 15 kilos) but more important then that I want to get to the point of being fit enough of doing 2 group fitness classes (body pump and body balance) one after another....thats the aim. I know from experience...if I focus on the fitness the rest will click into action too. I am still very focused on being double digits by xmas time.
I feel a lot of emotional stuff I have put into perspective in recent weeks. There is nothing I have done in my past I regret....and I cannot control anyone elses actions....if anyone else did anything I didnt like...well that was their option to do...nothing i can do about those ... they are actions they had to live with....Im a good person....in a good place in my life....with my focus, my passion...to become the healthiest and fittest lesbian I can be LOL....things are good and will only get better!
Tuesday, March 03, 2015
Weigh in
Today is turning out to be a good day :) No work today so i slept in. I wasnt hungry when i woke so breakfast was just a banana and peanut butter (yum!). For lunch i made a low point version of carbonara which I have made many times before its from the site http://adashofflavour.blogspot.com.au/ and yummy...i also beefed up the vegies content by adding baby spinach to it...it was super yummy. That site belongs to a friend Jo...i havent looked at it for a long time...think i need to get back to checking it out more regularly!
Then I prepped some chicken. Took a chicken breast...sliced it vertically and horizontally to give me 4 pieces....and then marinated it in lemon juice, garlic, salt, cracked peppercorns....i made it the other week too...super yummy. I will bag 3 of them up and put them in the freezer for later in the week or next week...and one piece ill have tonight in a salad with spinach, semi dried tomatos, feta, avocado and cucumber.......yum yum :)
I feel good today....in a good place....hopefully it is the start of things.
Tomorrow night PT session....its not till 7pm...so i think ill go in do RPM....then do the PT session...i think i can handle that and am planning to go out for a 5km walk this afternoon/evening....slowly, slowly i am increasing my exercise....it will be a long road to getting it back to where it was a few years ago.
Oh nearly forgot..i was 122.6 kilos on the scales this morning....hopefully it will be a improved number by next monday :)
Then I prepped some chicken. Took a chicken breast...sliced it vertically and horizontally to give me 4 pieces....and then marinated it in lemon juice, garlic, salt, cracked peppercorns....i made it the other week too...super yummy. I will bag 3 of them up and put them in the freezer for later in the week or next week...and one piece ill have tonight in a salad with spinach, semi dried tomatos, feta, avocado and cucumber.......yum yum :)
I feel good today....in a good place....hopefully it is the start of things.
Tomorrow night PT session....its not till 7pm...so i think ill go in do RPM....then do the PT session...i think i can handle that and am planning to go out for a 5km walk this afternoon/evening....slowly, slowly i am increasing my exercise....it will be a long road to getting it back to where it was a few years ago.
Oh nearly forgot..i was 122.6 kilos on the scales this morning....hopefully it will be a improved number by next monday :)
Monday, March 02, 2015
Light Bulb Moment
One of the problems with a blog...is sometimes you worry about writing certain things that are in your mind....you know you want to get these thoughts out of your head and down on paper so you can move on....what I am about to tell u all....ive only ever discussed with one person (fiona)...and i dont post this to hurt anyones feelings....there is no right or wrong in this situation....it merely is what it is....
A couple of my friends are starting to see psychologists. Anyway I was out for a walk tonight and was thinking about what would be discussed if i went and saw a psychologist (and this includes a lightbulb moment!) and decided the conversation would go something along these lines:
Therapist : So what brings you to therapy?
Me: I want to lose my weight, get to goal and stay there
Therapist: Have you lose weight before?
Me: Yes i lost 94 kilos but then in 2012 i started to gain weight
Therapist: Why did you start to gain weight again? Did anything happen in 2012?
(Would i make a good psychologist????) Well lots happened in 2012....mum got sick and passed away. But a lil bit before that....about 3 or 4 weeks before mum got sick....i was over at mums....she turned around and told me....we redid our wills the other day (her and her husband)....i was like oh yeah? She then tells me...on both mine and my husbands will....your younger sister and your younger stepbrother will be the executor. To say I was a bit shocked was a understatement. I get that....they picked one person from each side of the families...(altho i dont get why me and my sister werent mums executor and the boys be the executor of his will), but as the oldest daughter that was shocking. Made no sense to me. I live the closest to their house...i AM the eldest daughter ...now dont get me wrong if that situation comes along i dont desire to make decisions following a death, it wasnt cos i wanted control. It was more what it symbolised. Ive always been the black sheep of the family, the one who is gay, the one who isnt as social, the one who is fat blah blah blah the list goes on. Ive mentioned before in the past that i often feel like i am separate from human life.....and im kinda floating above watching everyone go about their life...having relationships, buying homes, going on holidays, having families, having social lifes etc etc and I dont feel i am ever a part of these things. I think when mum told me this it cemented a lil bit more about my lack of self worth....I mean....if your own mothers chooses to believe others over you, support others over you, why would you think anyone else would think any better of you. It reminded me that no matter how much weight i lost....i still didnt have the family relationships i would like.
But you know....time has passed....as mad as i was at the time....i would know like to simply have that as a issue....and not that mums will has now been dealt with.
I cannot change what happened...as is always said....the only thing we can control is how we react.
My work day was good today. Although i didnt get to sleep till after 1.30am ARGH thankfully (or not) as i am working on saturday i have tomorrow off. (I am getting rostered on a lot of saturdays at the moment....its good money so im not complaining) So tonight i am planning to sit down and plan out my meals until sunday. Tomorrow morning i plan to sleep in and then head into the gym and do 45 minutes of cardio (15 minutes on bike, 15 minutes on treadmill and aim for 15 minutes on cross trainer) then will go shopping then come down and prepare meals and snacks for the week.
I also plan to be a lot more present on instagram....heres to a good week all :)
A couple of my friends are starting to see psychologists. Anyway I was out for a walk tonight and was thinking about what would be discussed if i went and saw a psychologist (and this includes a lightbulb moment!) and decided the conversation would go something along these lines:
Therapist : So what brings you to therapy?
Me: I want to lose my weight, get to goal and stay there
Therapist: Have you lose weight before?
Me: Yes i lost 94 kilos but then in 2012 i started to gain weight
Therapist: Why did you start to gain weight again? Did anything happen in 2012?
(Would i make a good psychologist????) Well lots happened in 2012....mum got sick and passed away. But a lil bit before that....about 3 or 4 weeks before mum got sick....i was over at mums....she turned around and told me....we redid our wills the other day (her and her husband)....i was like oh yeah? She then tells me...on both mine and my husbands will....your younger sister and your younger stepbrother will be the executor. To say I was a bit shocked was a understatement. I get that....they picked one person from each side of the families...(altho i dont get why me and my sister werent mums executor and the boys be the executor of his will), but as the oldest daughter that was shocking. Made no sense to me. I live the closest to their house...i AM the eldest daughter ...now dont get me wrong if that situation comes along i dont desire to make decisions following a death, it wasnt cos i wanted control. It was more what it symbolised. Ive always been the black sheep of the family, the one who is gay, the one who isnt as social, the one who is fat blah blah blah the list goes on. Ive mentioned before in the past that i often feel like i am separate from human life.....and im kinda floating above watching everyone go about their life...having relationships, buying homes, going on holidays, having families, having social lifes etc etc and I dont feel i am ever a part of these things. I think when mum told me this it cemented a lil bit more about my lack of self worth....I mean....if your own mothers chooses to believe others over you, support others over you, why would you think anyone else would think any better of you. It reminded me that no matter how much weight i lost....i still didnt have the family relationships i would like.
But you know....time has passed....as mad as i was at the time....i would know like to simply have that as a issue....and not that mums will has now been dealt with.
I cannot change what happened...as is always said....the only thing we can control is how we react.
My work day was good today. Although i didnt get to sleep till after 1.30am ARGH thankfully (or not) as i am working on saturday i have tomorrow off. (I am getting rostered on a lot of saturdays at the moment....its good money so im not complaining) So tonight i am planning to sit down and plan out my meals until sunday. Tomorrow morning i plan to sleep in and then head into the gym and do 45 minutes of cardio (15 minutes on bike, 15 minutes on treadmill and aim for 15 minutes on cross trainer) then will go shopping then come down and prepare meals and snacks for the week.
I also plan to be a lot more present on instagram....heres to a good week all :)
Sunday, March 01, 2015
Truth.
Im writing on a blog and surely that means I am being truthful right? Well yes and no. I think its easy to tell your version of the truth when you skim the surface.
Do I always tell the utmost truth on here? Prolly not. There are many times the posts could go deeper...but out of lazyness or choice they simply dont. For that reason its something I really want to focus on....not just posting more regularly but more truthfully/deeper.
So how are things going? Well weight loss wise I am the same I was at the start of the year....ive gone down....ive gone up...and down again and up again. Ive been very up in the air about "the plan"...we all need a plan...a plan that works for you and you alone. Now I signed up for the foxy challenge...ive seen the menu plans....they are very clean eating and the meals look good. There program works around body type...im a pear shape....so theoretically you should eat about 40% protein. I have popped them into my fitness pal....and they vary between 1200-1400 calories.....do i think thats enough food at 120 kilos? Prolly not...especially if exercising. I am tho very keen for their workout routines and the mindset information. Im definitely planning on mostly following the foxy eating plan as per the meals etc (altho i tend to be that person who cannot follow a specific eating plan....i like to have some say in what i eat so i wont say ill eat to their plan EVERY day) to boost the food I will prolly just do things like have a extra protein shake etc.
When i think about tracking my food it comes down to two options. Weight watchers and my fitness pal. I like myfitnesspal cos i KNOW calories...i get them....i can easily add the calories from my Heart rate monitor.....i can monitor my sodium levels...macros etc...it works pretty damn good. The advantage of weight watchers the BIGGEST advantage of it is the support network,.....whether its their magazine, meetings, instagram i find the support network great (that said i hate their "tech sessions" in meetings cos its a thinly veiled marketing section which is fooling no one!) With my fitness pal i calorie cycle...my leader has mentioned i can cycle points....and yes i must admit i am considering going back to weight watchers and combining it with the foxy challenge. Im also considering doing two PT sessions a week for the 12 weeks of the foxy challenge. The other negative about weight watchers is i tend to get into the thought of "oh its a weight watchers product i can eat it" even tho i know i struggle to lose and control my appetite if im not eating unprocessed foods.
I really want to be successful at this weight loss gig...there are so many things i want in my life i dont have currently. I am sitting on the sidelines when what i want is to be travelling, enjoying a social life, a partner, new experiences (eg scuba diving, adventure sports etc etc) I want to not only be confident but have the fit, healthy glow I had a few years ago...and theres only one way ill get that....and thats by applying myself.
Do I always tell the utmost truth on here? Prolly not. There are many times the posts could go deeper...but out of lazyness or choice they simply dont. For that reason its something I really want to focus on....not just posting more regularly but more truthfully/deeper.
So how are things going? Well weight loss wise I am the same I was at the start of the year....ive gone down....ive gone up...and down again and up again. Ive been very up in the air about "the plan"...we all need a plan...a plan that works for you and you alone. Now I signed up for the foxy challenge...ive seen the menu plans....they are very clean eating and the meals look good. There program works around body type...im a pear shape....so theoretically you should eat about 40% protein. I have popped them into my fitness pal....and they vary between 1200-1400 calories.....do i think thats enough food at 120 kilos? Prolly not...especially if exercising. I am tho very keen for their workout routines and the mindset information. Im definitely planning on mostly following the foxy eating plan as per the meals etc (altho i tend to be that person who cannot follow a specific eating plan....i like to have some say in what i eat so i wont say ill eat to their plan EVERY day) to boost the food I will prolly just do things like have a extra protein shake etc.
When i think about tracking my food it comes down to two options. Weight watchers and my fitness pal. I like myfitnesspal cos i KNOW calories...i get them....i can easily add the calories from my Heart rate monitor.....i can monitor my sodium levels...macros etc...it works pretty damn good. The advantage of weight watchers the BIGGEST advantage of it is the support network,.....whether its their magazine, meetings, instagram i find the support network great (that said i hate their "tech sessions" in meetings cos its a thinly veiled marketing section which is fooling no one!) With my fitness pal i calorie cycle...my leader has mentioned i can cycle points....and yes i must admit i am considering going back to weight watchers and combining it with the foxy challenge. Im also considering doing two PT sessions a week for the 12 weeks of the foxy challenge. The other negative about weight watchers is i tend to get into the thought of "oh its a weight watchers product i can eat it" even tho i know i struggle to lose and control my appetite if im not eating unprocessed foods.
I really want to be successful at this weight loss gig...there are so many things i want in my life i dont have currently. I am sitting on the sidelines when what i want is to be travelling, enjoying a social life, a partner, new experiences (eg scuba diving, adventure sports etc etc) I want to not only be confident but have the fit, healthy glow I had a few years ago...and theres only one way ill get that....and thats by applying myself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)