Such a good day :)

Today is one of my days off. I was at the gym by 7.30am for a PT session lol.

So the good parts of the day! Firstly....I was wearing a new lorna jane tank top. Size large. I love this style that they do...I have 3...two are blue...one has the saying "say yes to adventures" (this is the one I wore) I also have another mint green one that says "werk werk werk" so firstly super happy that it fitted! And it fitted well.

Then my PT session....we (as in I lol) did a "fitter faster stronger" workout. It was 2 rounds of 12 dumbbell thrusters, 6 burpees and 20 deadlifts....and it was 4 rounds of that. Then it was 4 rounds of 3 reps of front squats. The pretty much turned into a tutorial part of the session as I had never done them before...so that all went well :)

Then the rest of the session 3 rounds....with first round 10 reps, then 12 reps then 15 reps. So it was leg press machine (I did 160 kilos in the end - which is a lot for me!) then trx squat jumps, 200 metre row then 20 step overs the rowing machine. And lastly a 50 second wall squat phew!

Anyway whilst in PT a gym member came up and commented on my weight loss :) and then candice (my trainer) and i briefly chatted about how ive been finding the sessions lately (which ive been loving cos i feel like im accomplishing so much now) and she wanted to know if i was feeling fitter and stronger? I told her yes. She then commented (and I hadnt even noticed this) but she commented that i rarely complain of back pain now so obviously my core is stronger, my form has improved and the way i move has improved she also commented that she has noticed that i seem fitter too :)

She then also asked when I was going away and I explained its 5 weeks away....so by the gym scales i was 110.9 kilos this morning (I was under 110 kilos on my scales this morning) and we agreed to really focus over these 5 weeks and try to get down to 105 kilos by then. Which would be AMAZING!! That would mean I have lost over 20 kilos this year...and wow 105 kilos by the end of the year should mean in the first few months of next year I should get down to double digits.

So overall a really good GYM day. Tonight I am making "cheesy rice slice" for dinner.

Have a good weekend all!!!

Update/Weigh in day

So time for a update! So much with my weight loss journey has changed.

So firstly I am no longer doing equalution and instead I am doing weight watchers. The reason for changing was a lot of things. The catalyst was the last 3 weeks of equalution I was losing very small amounts (average of 200 grams per week) and I thought I can lose 200 grams per week on my own...I dont need to pay someone $60 a week to accomplish that. I also felt they didnt listen to me when I told them I thought we should look at lowering calories and that I was finding it very hard to stay motivated when it was such small amounts.

So the reason I decided to do weight watchers mainly stemmed from the online community weight watchers has, both on the app and on instagram. When I lost my weight last time I met a group of local girls thru the weight watcher forums, and we use to socialise and I also met a great network of people from all over australia and NZ and I have been missing that network support. So that was the initial reason for doing it, then when I put in the food I have been eating into the WW tracker i was eating way over the points they recommend! So I decided to stick to the daily points.I was down yesterday like 2.7 kilos but then today (which is my official weigh in day) after melbourne cup day hijinks my loss was only 700 grams! But still happy...I feel this amount of food is where I need to be.

Also I had started to notice that I was wanting to eat more whole foods then I was on equalution. I dont want to eat chocolate and icecream every night after dinner. Instead of feeling like a treat they came to be things I just expected.

So anyway yes...weight watchers!!

Exercise wise I have been really doing some hard sessions lately and definitely had some wins :)
I told my trainer I want to do the fitter, faster, stronger goodlife challenge next year and so I need to be fitter and stronger to be at the level to do this. So my workouts have definitely got harder and focused more towards heavier lifting. But in this time I can suddenly do things i could never do before (even at 79 kilos). I can now do a burpee...not perfect but ive never been able to the movement and now i can....my planks have improved so much i no longer do a basic plank...I can do commandos....I can skip.....its crazy how much I have improved lately!!

As of this morning I was 110.5 kilos....I am hoping to have a real solid loss this week and get back under 109 kilos.

Not much else to say...will be back more regularly tho :)

Weekly Reflections #5

Weighed in this morning and gained 200 grams, with a small drop in centimetres.

I have stuck to my eating plan, drank my 4-4.5 litres of water and got enough sleep and its also not hormonal. Either it comes down to my calories need lowering or i am just retaining some fluid.

So will stick to the same calories and macros and we will see how the scales are going at the end of the week.

I also went back to the gym this week....so I did SOME exercise this week where as I hadnt for a while. I did 2 x 30 minute walks. Then wednesday I did a PT session which was a cardio session and super intensive....I was huffing and puffing the entire session lol. Then thursday I did another session which was predominantly weights. So this week is me trying to get back into the gym side of things. The aim is to do 2 PT sessions and 2 sessions on my own and trying to do as much walking as i can (think i might do some walks from work to home)

I did post recently about excess skin surgery and thought I would update on that a lil. I was finding my brain was umming and ahhing over this decision constantly. Like I am so far from saying "yes i will do it" and i was starting to get concerned that if i decided not to do the surgery that i would get in a headspace of not wanting to get to goal. So for the moment i decided to focus simply getting to goal, with the healthiest body fat percent and also the fittest...so if I do end up going thru any surgeries Ill have the best chance with recovery. But for the moment any thought about it is off the table.

Today was footy pie day at work...so I fitted into my calories/macros for the day a meat pie and a krispy kreme donut...omg so yummy ;) Tuesday night I am going out for dinner with a friend and will be having pizza so a few meals out this week...not sure how the  scales will like that...but will just do my best :)

Excess Skin Surgery

Whilst I still have a way to go with my weight loss. Loose skin is becoming more obvious and the question of excess skin surgery has been something I am giving thought to.

I will say....right now I am OPEN to it but I have in no way decided I am definitely getting it done.

At this stage my focus is obviously the weight loss, getting my body fat as low as healthily possible (Ive read the lower the body fat....the less liposuction which will make recovery easier) and getting fit as possible.

I went to have a surgery a few years ago and the doctor at the pre op appointment told me that being as I was so fit would help my surgery recovery...he compared surgery to putting your body thru a marathon...so the fitter you are the more likely you are to have a better recovery.

When I lost my weight all those years ago I was very against skin surgery. One of the big reasons was the pure thought of surgery. I know a lot of people think its something that they think is just logical...lose a huge amount of weight....get skin surgery, but for someone who has a real phobia for needles and all things hospitals its something I consider a huge decision. The thought of handing myself over to someone to cut my skin, fat, muscles when I dont have a medical illness is a HUGE consideration. Along with that is the recovery, I live alone and whilst I am sure I would cope....its not a ideal situation.

Money. Ahhhh money. It will be a VERY expensive exercise. When you take into account 12 months of private health insurance, gap fees (presuming it gets approved by medicare) if I was to go whole hog and get my boobs, tummy tuck and arms done I would be spending AT LEAST $10-$15k...possibly higher.

I have been doing research and am in some facebook groups reading up. I have noticed there is certainly a number of times people are having to get revisions done because they have not been happy with the outcome, I also think....no matter how much surgery....my body will never be what i honestly want it to be. There will always be more that needs to be done and I certainly dont want to get stuck into a plastic surgery cycle.

That said....I have seen some people get surgery....and have incredible recoveries.

When I lost my weight previously while I did occassionally get rashes the skin to me is more the impact it has on me mentally. I dont want to get down to my goal weight and think i REFUSE to have surgery but psychologically i am super unhappy with my body as it is. If I got down to my goal weight and the excess skin I felt I could deal with and didnt cause me mentally any issues then I wouldnt see a real reason to get the surgery.

So as you can see, I have a lot of mixed thoughts about the surgery (and I am sure I will get people saying just get the surgery....I just dont believe the decision is as simple as that)...keep tuned for future posts....as I slowly come to more conclusions on this topic.

Weekly Reflections #4

Weighed in and lost 3.5 kilos :) Taking me back to 109.5 kilos!!!

The week went really well. Getting back on track early in the week I was feeling peckish but the last few days not feeling peckish at all!!! I have noticed the last couple of weeks I am feeling much more active. For a while there (ok heck of a long time) any spare time I had I just wanted to sit in front of the tv chilling out, now I notice I am getting restless. I wanna throw on some clothes I love and get out there and do stuff.

Today I went shopping. When in melbourne I bought some tight fitting light coloured tops and I needed to buy some white or flesh coloured bras...so I went bra shopping. Bought 3 - all fit - size 16DD and trust me it wont be long till I am in a D cup :) One is a basic bone coloured one, one is a white sports bra and the other is a super fancy blue/steel coloured one with lace and not a super thick strap. I then also bought a summer dress from target - its a size 18 super pretty and while it doesnt fit me yet it hopefully will by summer. I also got a pair of knee length denim shorts, and 3 tops - I have attached a pic of the shorts and 3 of the tops.

A big decision was made this week. I wont go into all the reasons, but I have decided to stop personal training.  Over the last 11-12 weeks mostly due to sickness I havent been doing PT and I am still progressing so I dont feel it is necessary. I will go back to the gym in time but I am not rushing back. Tomorrow night and sunday night I am planning to go walking after work with a friend. I think PT has a lot of benefits but its very costly, especially doing it twice a week and in all honesty I didnt feel my trainer was as invested anymore. But its all good...its money I can either leave in the bank, or spend on clothes or my hair or whatever or save towards excess skin surgery (no guarantee on this but I am open to skin surgery)

Not a real lot else to say....heres to another good week :)

Goals

On the weekend I was thinking..."why after 3-4 years of being unsuccessful at weightloss why since October 2 2016 did I suddenly manage to get back on track and start to get this weight moving"

Theres probably a lot of reasons why, but the one that really struck me was goals.

Late last year when I go back on track it was very up and down initially. Then xmas came...and I decided come Deccember 26 I was getting back on track. I was all pumped. And on boxing day morning I definitely woke up committed. January 1 was coming and I knew it was the perfect time to set some goals.

I set some big goals. One was that I wanted to get to double digits and one to lose 30 kilos.

These were big goals...goals I quite possibly wont meet. Getting to double digits is possible but getting to 30 kilos is not likely. Once I had those goals I ended up making smaller goals. In the first few months of the year it was to lose 2.5 kilos per month, and I met those goals the first few months.

Then I set a goal to be under 110 kilos by July 3. I didnt make it...I got close (before a gain). Was I disappointed? Well actually no. Of course I would have loved to hit that goal, but having that goal in mind in the months leading up to July 3, kept me on track. Setting goals and accepting you may not hit them but by keeping your eye on the prize will help you get as close to possible to that goal for me is definitely motivating and helpful.

Its something I highly recommend. Set a goal that you believe is very attainable and then set a second goal that is hard to achieve....if you dont reach that goal its ok...but working to get as close as possible to that goal will help you keep motivated and on track.

So what are my current goals? I want by November 17 to be under 105 kilos. By December 19 I want to be as close to double digits as possible (fingers cross ill be double digits - what a xmas present to me that would be!)

Weekly Reflection #3

So today was weigh in day ... and it wasnt good! lol

Heres the situation...Ive been sick. Whilst I am getting better I am just coming to the end of the second week of being sick. This week I have been on a plethora of medications...antibiotics, panadeine forte, dimmetapp, nasonex, otrivan, ointment for my eye for conjunctivitis, tilade and ventolin! I also didnt drink much water this week and I am hormonally challenged today ;)...needless to say....I gained 4 kilos this week! Eek!

Am i stressed over it? No. I know its fluid from my cycle, lack of water and medications. Right now I am off most of the medications...just on tilade, ventolin, dimmetapp, nasonex and panadeine forte.  Today I have also got back into my water....4.5 litres drank today (which is what i normally drink) and to be honest my focus this week was just to get better.

But its a new fresh week - my aim is to knock of most of the gain I had this week. Which is a big ask considering it was 4 kilos! But if I can knock off two of it I would be happy...so aiming to be under 111 kilos this friday. My cycle has arrived but by friday I should have got rid of most of the fluid.

Not really a lot else to say as spending most of the week in bed makes for a boring week!

Enjoy this coming week all :)