Kazz's Journey

Fab day :)

2012-01-28T15:05:00.000+10:30

Well yesterday i had gastro :( Each time i ate i was running to the loo...wasnt a whole heck of fun! But i did have a sizeable loss overnight and back under 80 kilos (the benefits of gastro? lol)

But im much better today....did have a lil dizzy spell in the shower this morning but that may have been that the shower was too hot (seem to be having a few dizzy spells lately...ack! Which i am contributing to being sick/heat)

Today i gymmed it. Trained with fiona. A bunch of weight/resistance exercise with 1000 jumps of the skipping rope!! Then i did a hour of body pump and a hour of body balance. I dont really like the latest release of body pump but we did older releases today which i loved!! LOVED!!! I realised today I need bloomin new gym shoes! ack!! I was going to book the hotel this week for Sydney but that now have to wait a couple of weeks...as esecially considering how my foot has been playing up its time for a visit to athletes foot this weekend!! After the gym i picked up michelle bridges new cookbook...tomorrow i will sit down and do some menu planning for the coming week! (i want to be down to 78.5 kilos by next saturday) I then went to rebel sport...while i LOVE LJ clothes...im becoming a bit of fan of running bare...i like the cut of their clothes....and rebel sport often has them discounted...so got a singlet i saw a few weeks ago and yep on special :) $15 its pink with green writing and says on it "its a girl thing" hehe love it....there was also one that said "girls girls girls" but thought that might sound like i was offering myself up for a date at the gym LOL and the bigger bonus is size 10 fits me perfectly.

Tonight out for dinner with martine. Burnt 1724 calories today, so really dont have to stress about the meal...bruschetta and a main of my choice :)

Thinking tomorrow the DOMs will kick in....i certainly was feeling my arms after fionas session in pump...which is crazy considering i only had 2.5 kilos on each end of the bar! LOL Today was really the first day of us focusing on upper body work so i can reach that goal of doing one unassisted pushup...think someone is going to have more definition in her shoulders/chest/back in a few months time!!! -rawr-

A Disaster!!!

2012-01-26T19:47:00.003+10:30

yesterday was a disaster A EATING DISASTER!!! And i could use every excuse under the sun...no motivation from not exercising, tired blah blah....but the reality was i was just a big ass and lost focus! Never mind...got up this morning...was 82.8 kilos on the scales :( Have stuck to 1200 calories today. And before each can of diet coke (I had 3) I drank 600 mls of water before each can of drink...so going to focus on keeping that up.

I have one hour of overtime to do in the morning and then its DONE! weeee!!! Cannot wait for 5.30pm tomorrow when its done...this has been the longest freaking week! And now the focus wont be on doing overtime....my focus will be back to where it should be...the gym and getting to goal :) So tomorrow nite i will gym it..and wont be leaving the gym till ive burnt 600 calories...ill do the same as i did monday nite...21 flights of stairs....then the xtrainer followed by walking on the treadmill on a incline...mite even venture and do some light rowing (need to be cautious cos of my back)

Looking forward to the weekend....Gym saturday morning...out for dinner with Martine saturday nite and then getting this house organised ... its been rather neglected lately! Ive been working, eating, sleeping and thats about it! In the last 10 days ive only worked out twice...need to get back onto that!

Ahhhh those scales....

2012-01-24T19:56:00.001+10:30

Im expecting the scales to be up in the morning. Not cos i have eaten anything wrong. This morning i was still 78.9 kilos but tonight i noticed the scales are higher then i would like. Its not that I have eaten anything wrong...think its just other stuff going on. For the last week i have been doing overtime most days plus i only had sunday off last weekend not a whole 2 days off...im too tired with the overtime to get to the gym as well...so im just trying to get thru to this weekend...3 days left and then its done. Ill have the money for the accomodation for Sydney...all ive got left to save for then is the filex convention...all doable! But no more overtime for a while after this week its too friggin hard with my other goals in life. So this week ive only exercised once...and i prolly wont exercise till saturday morning. Also the weather has been warm...so while im sleeping okay...prolly not as well as usual...and possibly ive got some fluid retention. So my aim is to get to the end of the week...and get back on track exercise wise as off saturday. Ive still been eating 1200-1280 calories...but i need to get the exercise going too.

My focus the next few months will be focusing on upper strength so i can reach that goal on a unassisted chin up by the end of 12WBT...will be interesting to see how my body changes over the next few months seeing as im doing lean and strong and focusing on the upper strength. Think i will take some close up shots of my back and upper chest...flexing to see the changes LOL

Not much else going on...short, sharp, shiny update today!

Goals

2012-01-23T22:35:00.003+10:30

So task 3 for 12WBT is goal setting...so here we go....so i prolly should preface this by saying ive decided after chatting to fiona to do the lean & strong program...i will be within 5 kilos of goal...and as i am constantly battling these foot issues a focus on cardio is prolly not wise...plus im prolly close to that point where its time to focus on strength stuff.

So at the end of the 12WBT (mid may):

- so as i plan to be between 77 and 78 kilos at the start of 12WBT i want to at least reach 72 kilos...which would mean a loss of 500 grams per week...but the "dream" would be to get down to 68 kilos ... which would mean a loss of 830 grams per week (that is actually doable I feel)
- to fit into a pair of black LJ flashdance pants size medium
- to fit into a pair of LJ camoflague pants size medium
- to fit into a pair of size 10 jeans (from jeanswest)
- to do one pull up (unassisted)
- to be back to boxing classes
- to be able to do 10 full & low pushups

At the end of 12 months:

- to still be maintaining my weight in the healthy weight range
- to have completed the eureka stair climb (92 flights)
- to be working towards my goals of "giving back"
- to be able to do 10 full proper burpees
- to be able to do 10 full proper tricep dips

FAQ

2012-01-22T20:16:00.002+10:30

Added some frequently asked questions on the right hand side for anyone interested :)

Weigh in :)

2012-01-21T19:11:00.002+10:30

Three days with no post! Bad bad kazz ;) Weighed in this morning was sitting at 79.1 kilos...so have lost 1.9 kilos this week....3.9 kilos in the last 2 weeks....so think sitting around 1220 cals per day is definitely working (YAY) So getting to 78 kilos by 13 feb and 72 kilos by 23rd march is all on track :))

Ive decided to go to Sydney in April and filex (fitness industry 3 day convention) booked the flights thursday nite....now i need to save for accomodation and the cost of the convention. So thursday and friday i did overtime...and this week im doing overtime 4 days...then i should pretty much have paid either the accomodation or filex :) I then wont do overtime for a few weeks...but i will do it again when we are on the late starts again (starting 1-2 hours earlier doesnt affect my gym time) I wont have much free time while there but im certainly looking forward to the trip...and wrapped that i dont have to worry about fitting into airplane seats!

I finally got into my "Large" size black flashdance pants....super excited to make some progress there....the camoflague ones are still too tight....maybe when i get to 77 kilos they will fit me. Not much else to say...i havent even been to the gym! LOL slack arse i am....but back there monday nite...no class...but will do some stairs and xtrainer and maybe practice some of the dreaded fitball stuff fiona wants me practicing (im so not a lover of the fitball!)

Enjoying the journey.

2012-01-18T16:32:00.002+10:30

Something I learnt when I started training with Fiona was that I always was more successful when i "enjoyed the journey". You are prolly reading that thing WTF!?! who enjoys dieting and exercise? Food is food...regardless what diet/eating plan you are doing...try different foods....try different recipes. Discovering new foods that you enjoy, stepping out of your comfort zone and not eating the same foods all the time will enable you to make new discoveries. When you don't look at it is as chore...when its important to you and you feel like you are accomplishing something...the self satisfaction you will encounter will enable you to enjoy it. Accomplishing doesnt mean just a number on the scales....its that feeling at the end of the night were you feel proud cos you had a good eating day...its discoverring a new food and thinking "how will i incorporate that into my cooking?"...its the clothes getting looser...its the self pride you feel for knowing you are doing your best to become the best you, you can be.

Im not a exercise lover...so how do I enjoy that part of the journey? Good question! LOL Actually the answer is about self pride again...when i walk out of the gym and know i tried my hardest....when i do something at the gym that 6 months i couldnt do...when i look in the mirror and see the changes...self pride equals happiness (in my eyes anyway)

Don't look at exercise or nutrition as torture...or a chore...cos if you do...then thats what it becomes.

When we take control we empower ourselves and with that comes the pride. Think back to when you werent on this weight loss journey...did you feel pride? Did you feel happiness? In relation to how you felt about yourself probably not. Certainly other parts of your life may have been great but the "internal you" most likely wasnt feeling great. And thats why when we take control even just that first step we feel that lil bit better about ourselves....and other time with each step we feel happier and happier. For me i have now got a place where i feel internally there is a "lightness" to me....im not filled with doom and gloom that holds me back and makes me unhappy....yes life isnt perfect just cos i have lost weight....but there is a part of my life that is happier...and that makes dealing with life as a whole easier. It truly just gives you a appreciation for how good life can truly be :)

2012-01-18T12:48:00.002+10:30

So big lesson last nite....on hot days i think i need a extra snack right before i work out and maybe some extra water. Had a dizzy spell last nite that didnt completely go away whilst exercising. It was whilst doing the xtrainer i started to get it...but when climbing stairs it got significantly worse. But lesson learnt :) Whilst i was talking about goals yesterday (and yes i realise maintenance will be a big goal)....i wasnt thinking about the fact i want to do the eureka tower climb in Melbourne in november. Its 90 flights of stairs lol and is in the top 10 stair climbs in the world (more stairs then the empire state building) so i really need to start working towards that NOW. I basically need to work up to "9 lots" of the stairwell at the gym....which is 63 flights of stairs and equals the same number of stairs. Last october i had built up to "5 lots" so 35 flights....so basically its 10 months to work towards it...completely doable.

This morning the scales dropped by 100 grams this morning so down to 79 kilos, wooot woooo getting awfully close to 77 kilos....i may just be in the "healthy weight range" when 12wbt starts....definitely 1200 calories works for me after the last 6 months of last year sitting around 83 kilos....its nice to finally see some results. When i wore my XL flashdance pants last nite i noticed they are definitely sitting looser and longer on me. I reckon by the time i get to 77 kilos i will be able to wear my L size flashdance pants and be getting close enough to train in them. Im even starting to think about come september i am having a week off....and i think ill take a holiday (am also going to sydney in April for 4 days)...nowhere overly expensive...either gold coast and brisbane or possibly a week in bali or fiji since the prices for asia seem to have dropped so much...will wait and see closer to the time before i make any real decisions.

Anyway...have a good wednesday all!! :)

Once at goal...

2012-01-17T13:16:00.000+10:30

This morning the scales said 79.1 kilos :) 91.8 kilos lost....wow wow wow!!! So happy!!! So i have 2.1 kilos to get to the healthy weight range. Im aiming for a goal weight of 72 kilos which i want to reach by 23/3/12....and im quietly confident of doing that. I think 72 kilos will probably be a good weight for me to sit at....once i get there i may try and lose another 4 kilos...but i somehow think 72 kilos may be where i settle.

Getting so close to goal brings something to the forefront which has been in the back of my mind for quite a while. I have been at this weight loss gig for 5.5 years...its been a huge goal....everything i have done has pretty much been about what the scales will say the next day/week. What I ate ... whether i socialised....going to the gym....getting enough sleep at night....and always at the end of it was the scales...or whether my clothes were getting looser etc. One thing this journey has made me realise is i need goals in my life....if i have a goal...i focus and work towards it....so my brain is now like...wtf will my next goal be??? Will it be....to focus on getting a social life...to travel....to simply live my life more....i have said for a long time id like to study to be a personal trainer...id still like too...but i know getting well paying jobs in the fitness industry is hard (and yes its not all about money its about enjoying your job....but i obviously have bills that would need to be paid!)...to be a personal trainer you need to be able to show the different exercises and be able to show them properly....i can't LOL things like pushups...burpees for example....i always thought when i got smaller id be able to do these things "properly" but i still can't lol....and i highly doubt ill ever truly be able too...the other thing is i dont have a great record when it comes to studying....its a lot of money to spend....if im going to get half way thru and then give up.

So if i dont study to be a personal trainer...what goals in life (not necessarily a career) am i going to go for? I know a lot of people get to goal then they get into marathon running, or cycling or triathlons or whatever....they will never be for me.

Yes i would like to get into motivational speaking and my new site is being worked on which will hopefully lead me to being able overtime to help people with their weight loss battles...but that will all take time.

If i decide to try to travel...well its expensive when your single...id love to go on a cruise...but going by myself i dont think id enjoy...going to somewhere like bali or fiji i dont think id feel safe by myself....(and ive discussed the whole lack of friends thing recently) so bottom line...yep ill be at goal within a few months....but then what the hell to do next!!

Thank you.

2012-01-16T23:06:00.000+10:30

I wanted to firstly say thank you for all the supportive comments i got on my journal and facebook following my post on the excess skin issue. I went to bed wondering why other peoples opinions were getting to me so much...and why i was so sensitive about this subject. I realise tho - the perfectionist on me sees the excess skin as a "failure" and people shoving down my throat what they think just kind of hammers it into me a lil bit more that i failed. I know realistically i have done a great job with my weight loss...i know i did the right things and eat mostly clean and exercise and do weight work....but i guess i feel i "failed" because i am not one of the people whose skin bounced back. But as i said last nite...it is what it is...and the excess skin is a lot better deal then dealing with being obese!!!!

Anyway onto other stuff....the scales are looking good tonight!!! im a lil excited about jumping on them in the morning ;)

I had today off....and spent the day at home....so rare for me to be able to spend the entire day at home...but was so nice...washing got done....cleaning got done and i got plenty of time to relax :) I have the next two days off too - YAY :) Tomorrow nite i am training with Fiona...during the day no real plans...i could go to the gym during the day as well but i prolly wont lol...instead ill get some more stuff done around the house....and relax some more...am planning to try and start doing some overtime over the next few weeks to help cash me up for Sydney in April...so will make the most of the relaxation whilst i can.

Photos were uploaded from the resolution run on friday night...so i have uploaded a few for you all to view :)

Excess Skin....

2012-01-15T23:57:00.001+10:30

There is a topic of conversation which of late pisses me off. See,,,,anytime i say "excess skin" people are jumping on the band wagon of telling me to have excess skin surgery...if i say its not what I want I am being told i am "crazy" or "silly" or they just try to get their point across. Now i respect everyone may have a opinion on the topic itself....but i dont respect everyone having a opinion on what i should do.

From day one of this journey i said....i will have skin surgery if it becomes a health issue. So if it caused infections etc i would talk to the appropriate specialists. Now i dont encounter any health issues associated with my skin, yep i may grumble about it at times (no different to someone grumbling they dont like the size of their nose....or the colour of their hair)....thats my right as a imperfect human being to grumble. So right at this point there is no health reason to get the surgery.

Last year when it became apparrant i would end up with some excess skin,,,,i decided to research it a lil. I firstly visited this journal http://spinnyliz.blogspot.com . To do a mini recap, she had a body lift done on 14 sept 2007, in the first 2 weeks after surgery she had very low blood pressure, internal bleeding fixed by a second visit to surgery, blood transfusions, and extreme constipation. Two months later after infections she was back at the doctors having to have fluid being removed by a needle. She had her surgery mid september and didnt return to work till early december and then only on a part time basis. Three months later part of her scar still required dressing, she still has swelling and the skin is tight limiting her movement and giving her back pain she needs to take anti flammatories for. Four and a half months later the hole in the incision which was taking longer to heal still hadnt healed. Now you can read all that and say well thats to be expected (and keep in mind she still had to have the skin on her arms, breasts and thighs done) but thats 4.5 months of her life. Three months where she was unable to work. For me as I have no health issues relating to my skin I do view it as unnecessary surgery, Ive worked for over 3 years on my fitness levels there is no way I am taking 3 months off to recover from ONE surgery knowing that it wouldnt be the only surgery if I went down that path. And yes this is just one girls story....but trust me there are others. So for those who have the surgery with lil complications and are happy with the results i say more power to them...but for me its not the path i will go down, i am more then happy with my decision as I know it is right for me, what I am not happy with is the responses I get when ever i mention the words "excess skin".

This is a you tube clip, its not all about excess skin surgery but it does show you what the consequences can be, admittedly it appears this girl didnt have the best surgeon she could have had from the closing remarks, but i also discovered she was in hospital for a year recovering (be aware its VERY GRAPHIC) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7cVGpLquD4

Not only recovery times, and time out from training....but there is a huge financial cost to take into account, as well as time off work. Financially I am not in a position to afford it and I cannot afford months off work, so they are the final reasons why I wont be having it done.

That said i dont think my excess skin is that bad ... "it is what it is"....any excess skin i have has come about from the person i was....its a reminder to me every day of how far I have come. And I may not always love it but I know it can take up to 2 years once you reach your goal weight to know how the skin will really end up at. Once at goal my intention has always been to build more muscle which will hopefully help, and hopefully my body will adapt to well.

Now that i have said my thoughts on the topic i will say anyone who tries to throw their views at me or suggest i am silly or crazy or any other negative opinion for my decision i will simply delete their comments and if on facebook remove and block them off facebook. I believe i have been very open and honest with my journey, even to the point of taking photos of my excess skin, but this is one topic thats not open to debate...its one topic that people need to let go of and respect my decision.

Resolution Run

2012-01-14T11:54:00.001+10:30

We did the resolution run yesterday :) It was a rather hilly course which my ankle really didnt like...we did run some parts of it but mostly walked it....it was really good tho I enjoyed it...I walk 6+ kms at least once a week most weeks so walking 7.5km was okay, altho i do have sore thighs today and a tender ankle but it is all good. Earlier in the day I had done body pump too :) so was a good exercise day. Then went out for something to eat with Fiona and Sarah - we went to Kwik Stix which I had never been to before...3 steamed dimsims and a chicken salad followed by a skim hot chocolate :)

We also discussed yesterday me going to filex...so ive pretty much decided i will go presuming i can register...i think i can...if so ill book that this week, then save up for the trip..only gotta then pay flights and accomodation and its not till late april so plenty of time to save for that and SHOPPING money....its being held at Darling Harbor so will be a mini holiday :) So no Lorna Jane shopping for a while, whilst i save LOL

The scales were up to 81 kilos this morning...but one of the dim sims had some soy sauce on them last nite...and when i checked myfitnesspal it said my sodium was 3500 yesterday - ooops! Im such a nazi about my sodium normal and is sometimes as low as 650mg so i know my system wouldnt have liked that....im sure i will be lower by the morning.

Hope everyone has a fab saturday!

Under 80 kilos (again lol) and pics :)

2012-01-12T19:19:00.000+10:30

I was 79.8 kilos this morning :) But had lunch with mum today so doubt that will last for long! LOL But i was rather good...normally we do entree, main and dessert....i had one piece of bruschetta, we shared a wood oven pizza and i said no to dessert (even when the waitress was saying "you sure you dont want to try one of our cakes?" - i told the girl she is evil ;)) We then went to the movies....mum was like u want anything to take in and i was like no...so no food in the movies! (went and saw girl with the dragon tattoo) and then came home and had a turkey sandwich and a freddo frog. I did also burn 500 calories this morning...i was very happy that i didnt throw the whole day away :)

Tomorrow i am going to do pump at lunch time...got the resolution run and then going out for dinner....and i have all planned what i am having...thai chicken salad :)

I tried on my Large size flashdance pants this morning...i could wear them out now...just not lose enough to workout in....YET but getting there....hopefully only another couple of kilos and i will be right to wear them

Did take a couple of pics today too...ive posted them below :)

80.3 kilos this morning :)

2012-01-11T19:14:00.002+10:30

Argh work is so busy!!! So glad i have the next two days off :) I decided as I am going to the gym first thing in the morning and then hopefully back for balance tomorrow nite to skip the gym tonite. So as i wasnt gymming it...i threw on my size 14 black new jeans and a lil grey top with a black jacket...i looked good! Admittedly the top was quite camoflauge with my bad parts of me (like arm wings) but I felt good and I knew it ! LOL very bizarre feeling, and numerous people commented that i looked nice. :)

So in the morning i am off to the gym...im doing my first slim session for about 3 months. Only doing it to mostly check my body fat percentage....im kinda nervous that it may not have gone down. It was about 31.7% last time it was checked....i would love LOVE love it it drops under 30% but since the scales havent moved much over the last few months im not sure that, that will happen. Talking about scales i was down to 80.3 kilos....so im nearly completely rid of my "xmas fat" - the lowest i got was 79.5 kilos so not far off that.

Then tomorrow i am off for lunch with mum. We do this every year for my birthday instead of giving me a present...usually its a free for all..with entree, mains and dessert....but this year ive already told mum i wont be going nuts with the food. I will have a main meal (prolly pasta or share a wood oven pizza with mum) and then a skim hot chocolate. After we are going to the movies to see "the girl with the dragon tattoo".

Last nite at the gym i was doing a exercise with a cable machine and then fiona goes "youve got muscles" and starts pointing out different muscles and starting to tell me im starting to get ripped LOL (shoulders and arms area) and all i can see is my arm wings of excess fat hanging down :( I swear its like wearing a outfit thats 3 sizes too big for you. And before its asked (its been asked a lot lately) no im not having any excess skin surgery. Tomorrow nite im hoping to get back to the gym in time for balance. But hopefully it will be a nice stress free day (me and my family have moments at times!)

Ive come to the conclusion all my LJ trista singlets (which i have a trillion off) are too big :( So need to get some more in size S. I also found a few new singlets i want lol of course, theres about 4 i want...good lawd!!! hehe they need to stop coming out with new stuff...but admittedly only 3 of my singlets i previously bought fit me....so need to splash out (the problem with losing weight!!)

Good start to the week :)

2012-01-09T19:46:00.002+10:30

Back at the gym today, worked this during the day then headed to the gym. Cycled for 10km, then did a 30 minute ab class and then 45 minute body combat class...burnt 810 calories so a great start to the week :) This morning i was 81.3 kilos. So at this stage...I am 4.3 kilos from the healthy weight range...and 9.3 kilos from my "ultimate" goal - i have settled on that at 72 kilos...once i get there ill reasses but i kinda think if i lose more then another 10 kilos...while i could prolly still lose a lil more im worried that anymore n ill just look like a skeleton wearing a outfit of skin thats 3 sizes too big LOL. I suspect at 72 kilos id be able to fit into medium sized flash dance pants from lorna jane...and size 12 jeans....so that works for me. Ive never thought id get below size 12 in the jeans department so if i do make it to there i will be more then happy :) And i want to be there by march 23!

Work was hectic as crap today....ready for my day off on thursday already! LOL

Tomorrow after work I am training with fiona :) nice doing training sessions with her again! Last night i made a chicken, baby spinach, walnut, feta, blackberry, apple and celery salad ... yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Tomorrow nite its a orange and mint chicken salad!! YUM YUM!!!

Ahhhhh Rest day

2012-01-08T15:08:00.002+10:30

im having a nice relaxing rest day today, washing is getting done and doing the first day of my menu plan :) So far so good...breakfast was a yummy 2 slices of toast with low fat cottage cheese (i forgot how yummy that is) i added some fresh chives and tomato...lunch was open burger....and dinner is a chicken salad made with walnuts, feta, celery, apple, baby spinach, blackberries and a dressing of olive oil and white balsamic vineger...looks yummy.

Yesterday as i mentioned i tested body pump...with super light weights and happy to say absolutely no back pain...in fact my back feels the best it has felt, dont think its the pump that helped with that so much but the fact it was my 5th day in a row of exercising ... my back is just much better when im moving around. Last nite i set a FB status update for every "like" i get ill walk/run/row or cycle 1km...its up to 117km LOL...so think i will aim to cycle 8km most days this week and then walk 2kms....and then do my classes as per normal LOL. I have thursday and friday off this week....thursday going out to lunch with mum and thursday morning having a slim session so i can see where my body fat is at...on friday i have the resolution run...it starts at the zoo which we get free entry into from 3pm so i think ill go early and walk around so i can get some extra kilometres in before the run. Nice only having to work 3 days before another couple of days of work lol then i only work saturday and sunday and have monday to wednesday off ;) (yep its a damn hard life!! lol)

The scales were down to 83 kilos this morning...so to get under 82 kilos by saturday i am on target for :) Pulled out my size large flashdance pants again today. The plain black ones fit but not quite loose enough to exercise in...the pink camoflauge ones are skin tight! LOL...so think ill wait till im under 78 kilos before trying either of them on again!

2012-01-07T17:03:00.002+10:30

The scales were back up to 84 kilos this morning....i think my cycle is due in 4 days so not concerned. Gymmed it today :) Did a hour with Fiona...lots of cardio -rawr- and then we decided i would test out pump....so i did it with a total of 2.5 kilos on the bar...my back didnt hurt the entire class :)) i did feel my back tho in the bicep track but think that was fatigue more then anything...the side plank hurt my shoulder/neck but think maybe next time ill just do normal plank (which is what i did during the rest of the ab track - since i cant do crunches!) So even tho it wasnt a big calorie burn it certainly good to test it :) I then did body balance....so burnt a total of 1078 calories. So ive done a menu plan for the next week...lots of variety and some new recipes. I have set a challenge on facebook...basically for this one status for every "like" i get i need to either row, run, walk or cycle 1km...lol....currently its up to 64kms LOL....so i will be incorporating that in this weeks work out plan. So each day this week at the gym ill row for 10 minutes (most i can do at the moment) and walk/run where i can fit it in so this weeks exercise plan is something like this:

mon - abs class + body combat
tues - train with fiona (possibly)
wed - cycling
thurs - body balance
fri - body combat + resolution run

So plenty to do this coming week! Im setting the goal to get under 82 kilos by next saturday....big ask but i think with some of the changes im planning to put into place this week.. :)

Fiona told me a cute story today....she was at the lorna jane store i shop at. Anyway fiona was with sarah looking at a top and says "karyn bought this one" and the shop assistant overheard and said "yes karyn was in here yesterday" LOL she then tells fiona how out of the LJ book with the different weight loss stories that her husband said im his favourite .... LOL .... who knew! No wonder i get such good service there!! And of course Fiona was then able to say I was Karyns trainer ;) win-win all round lol

Good, good day!!!

2012-01-06T11:24:00.001+10:30

So yesterday turned out to be a pretty damn good day :) I got an award at work...so got 5000 wishlist points (which i can use to shop with - i have over 12000 now :)) Then i had a peek at Lorna Jane and saw they had new clothes in! So i spotted a singlet i like....and went there with the intention of ONLY buying that singlet LOL well they had a sale and had some tshirts reduced to $24 ... so i had a look at them...found two i liked...but they didnt have size SMALL so thought wonder if my bod can fit into a size XS (not expecting it would!) but it did!!! OMG amazzzzzzzzzzzzing (refer pics on previous post) admittedly i dont wear loose fitting tshirts as with my body shape i look smaller if i wear fitted tops...so i was super excited by that :)

Then went to the gym....and trained with Fiona for a hour :) tried to run but only lasted about 200 metres before my ankle played up :( so i then did the xtrainer. I havent used the xtrainer since my last PT session with fiona at the gym...which was back in early october LOL...omg was so hard and definitely was sweating doing all these random levels between 5 and 20. Then we did some ball exercises and LOTS of walking lunges while holding a viper weight above my head...she has gone thru a lot of exercises with me so i have lots of different exercises i can do by myself...mostly its all resistance stuff but instead of weights its using my body which works better with my back...fiona also showed me her own program (which is mostly ball work) which i can do too...so lots more options and will be in there tonite to do a hour.

I was just in the kitchen at work and two of the managers were in there and one (who has been away from most of the time since last october) was saying...you have shrunk so much since october...and the other said over the last few months you have got so much smaller...and i realised while i have altho i dont notice it so much especially around the hips and stomach...i am still hovering around the same weight i 3 months ago. The scales did drop 100 grams this morning so down to 82.6...a bloody lot better then they were on saturday morning at 88.3 kilos! lol A 5.7 kilo since saturday is not bad at all :)

Oh and last night Fiona said when i get to goal we are going to go out for a meal and some cocktails! LOL theres an incentive :)

Not much else going on...have a good friday all!

SIZE 28-30 TO SIZE XS

2012-01-05T18:47:00.000+10:30

YES!!! Size XS from Lorna Jane for two tops tonite!!! So excited so i have done a lil pic update :)

2012-01-04T20:17:00.000+10:30

The fact I didnt have NYE plans has played on my mind. I havent gone out on NYE for years...but i didnt actually have one invite out....in reality i shouldnt be too surprised. One of my goals 5 years ago was to have more of a social life....and if someone monitored my facebook they would think i would have plenty of friends...i get numerous messages every day but mostly they are questions relating to diet/exercise. its made me realise while i have lots of aquaintances...i do have different friends i catch up with on a semi regular basis...but no real close friends. No friends i go out with regularly...and dont get me wrong im not a huge party animal...a nite out for me is going out for dinner...or maybe to see a movie....not out at clubs or whatever. Part of the reason is i have walls up...i know i do...i keep people at a distance....i dont "chase" for friendships...i dont suggest plans or anything like that....mostly cos i dont think people would want to make plans with me....even tho people reading this prolly think "ur silly kazz" but its the way i think....even some of my friendships who are closer then others to me...i dont "believe" they honestly want to be friends with me...i think its out of sympathy...or im gonna wake up one day and realise they dont want to be my friends. I think every now and then oh i should join pink sofa....or i should go over to sydney for weight watchers meet up etc etc....but then the closer the time comes for these things....i realise i dont wanna do them....maybe its not i dont wanna...but im too scared to go thru...cos i just dont have that belief that someone would want to spend time with me...i know its not logical in some ways...but its the way my brain (maybe the 170 kilos brain ) works.

The scales were up by 100 grams this morning so back at 83.2 kilos....food was good today and i burnt 860 calories. Ran up 14 flights of stairs, did some weight stuff and then a freestyle cycle class....damn hadnt done that class in ages...killed my legs...but so far ive burnt 1764 calories so im very happy with that!! I booked in a slim session next week...mostly just to check my body fat which was 31% 3 or so months ago....so whilst im around the same weight will be interesting to see what my body fat % is :)

2012-01-03T20:40:00.000+10:30

Amazing how one visit to the gym and i feel back in the zone :) This morning the scales were down to 83.1 kilos...so ive dropped 5.2 kilos since saturday...obviously all fluid...but im very glad to see it dropping (lets face it, it jumped up high quick too! Went to the gym tonite..used the foam roller on my back....then did 10 pushups with my feet up on a bench, 50 tricep dips and 12 assisted pullups...and all of them i did non stop :) I then walked on the treadmil for 10 minutes and then did a RPM class...its stinking hot here at the moment (35.9 today) so i think the heat is getting the calories burnt higher then normal...plus i hadnt done a cycle class since november! The class was rather good cos she did lots of shoulder rolls and back stretches thruout the class...so i think that i may have to try and slot that in as a permanant class on tuesdays. Gym tomorrow nite too...its suppose to be cooler so ill definitely do the stairs and then do a freestyle cycle class..hopefully get a nice calorie burn again

2012-01-02T17:37:00.000+10:30

Today I didnt work...just getting over the remainder of this sunstroke/migraine. Trying to eat 1200 cals the last few days i have decided is just not for me. So i have decided to do 1450 cals a day. I know ive registered for 12wbt but i think ill still do 1450 cals...for a variety of reasons...i just dont think i NEED to cut my cals back that much...ive always taken the philosophy to eat as much as i can while maintaining losses. 1450 calories should have me losing about half a kilo a week. Then throw my cals i burn on top of that...and whilst i know the 12wbt is all about only eating 1200 cals...thru and thru im a jillian michaels girl and her suggestion for losing the last 10 kilos or so is to only have a daily deficity of a 500-700 cals per day (700 cals being the maximum) this just seems a lil bit healthier and more doable to me. And whilst i will still follow the 12wbt meal plans i will add a extra 250 cals per day (unless im not losing) im keener to lose slower and make sure i have the calories to sustain my workouts as well as to maximise the different nutrients going into my body. This is for lifetime for me...not just 12 weeks and i know my body and my headspace...after doing this for 5 years...and think this is the right route to me. I also wont be doing any of the "social" stuff with 12wbt...i wont go to the end of year party...or group workouts...i know how i work best...thats adapting things to me...and im much better working out by myself. I thought maybe i could do the group thing...but the more i think about it the more i realise its not for me.

The scales this morning were 84.5 kilos so they have dropped by 3.8 kilos since saturday (hows that for fluid retention!)Back to the gym tomorrow...hopefully its not too hot in the stairwell at the gym and i can do 21 flights of the stairs...maybe run 1km (see how i feel after the stairs) then some pushups and pullups that i got the okay from fiona to do :) If i feel really energetic i mite then do RPM ill see how hot it is in the gym...my aim will be to burn 700 calories and as i said eat 1450 calories. I did go thru the crunchtime recipe book...pulled out different recipes to try so thats going to be another focus...eating different foods.

The start of 2012

2012-01-01T13:13:00.001+10:30

Well its 2012...my new year eves was pathetic LOL As i said yesterday i was out in the sun and burny 1724 cals...well appears i got a bit of sunstroke...by yesterday evening i couldnt handle the light from anything being on and had a pounding headache and was exhausted...by 8.30pm i was out of it and slept for nearly 12 hours ;) When i woke up i felt better but my head is still sore...so took some coedine slept some more and does seem improved this afternoon.

So i did get on the scales again and they were 86.2 kilos -eek! Admittedly yesterday they were 88.3 kilos so im starting to make inroads. The last 3 weeks has really highlighted to me no matter how much weight i lose i will always battle these food addictions and those psychological attachments to feeling good i have with food will prolly always exist and its all part of that goal of mine of getting things in moderation and with a healthier relationship food :) Apart from a better food relationship my goals for the year is to get back to training 100%, losing another 14-18 kilos...and fitting in to the medium sized lorna jane flashdance pants so they are loose enough to wear when training.

Food was spot on yesterday and so far today its good as well. Today cos im not 100% and i need to get all better for work tomorrow im not exercising today...hopefully tomorrow ill be okay to exercise....cos of course as well as the sunstroke several days now without diet coke so the headache could be related to that as well!

Fiona did talk to my normal physio about my back...been told no crunches....that i can do the boxing class but no punching at bags just "shadow boxing" as such...so ill look like a dork lol but at least i can get back to it in some form. So back to the gym on tuesday and back into things as much as i can (still no body pump of course) altho right at the moment the big focus is on this run on jan 13!

Have a fab new years everyone!!

Good day :)

2011-12-31T14:29:00.001+10:30

Well today has been a good day :) I woke up and the number on my scales was AWFUL lol maybe ill post tomorrow mornings results lol. Anyway went into town met up with fiona ...we ran from the zoo to the weir along the torrens which was 2.17km...then did squats, tricep pushups, pullups, and then we went back...not sure how much we ran...maybe 750 metres to 1km? My foot was playing up so i kinda took it easy plus i was dying! I then walked into the mall and then home again...all up i burnt 1724 calories no doubt aided by todays heat (38 degrees) Right now I am so dog gone tired...soooooooooo exhausted....about to have a protein shake then tonight its italian before a early nite. Yeh i know im not the party animal for NYE im more interested in waking up tomorrow morning refreshed and ready to tackle 2012. Crazy to think this year has gone. But i am really looking forward to reaching goals and all that 2012 will bring me....even considering reactivating my pink sofa membership!

This running thing is really bloody hard...surely one day its gotta improve....just doesnt feel like i am making any progress in that area YET!

Anyway a quiet nite for me...hope everyone who visits my journal has a safe and happy NYE....ive had LOTS of private messages from people off track lately...tomorrow is the perfect time to get back on track and create the life you want...make sure you make the most of it :)

2011-12-30T21:46:00.001+10:30

Well time to get serious. My birthday is over - i dont go out for NYE so theres no more festivities so back into everything tomorrow morning. Back to tracking.Ive gained AT LEAST 5 kilos...to scared to get on the friggin scales lol but my LJ flashdance pants are tight...eek! And the jeans i bought just on saturday are too tight too :( But you know...what goes up must come down!

So as i mentioned i am training with fiona till the resolution run...so we are training tomorrow morning. Tomorrow night i might even go check out the steps at the nth adelaide football club...should be quiet if i go around 6pm...presuming its not too hot. Sunday morning i am planning to start the year perfectly right by walking into the city...walking around the torrens and home again...im figuring that will work out to be at least a 10km walk. Whilst i still havent got the all clear to do "any" exercise...next week i am getting back into things at the gym. The gym is closed monday ....but the rest of the week will be :

tuesday : 7 flights of stairs + 2km run (treadmill) + weight exercises
wednesday : 7 flights of stairs + free style cycle class
thursday : step + body balance
friday : 7 flights of stairs + 2km run (treadmill) + weight exercises
saturday : train with fiona

Everytime i sit down to work out my exercise routine since i hurt my back frustrates me...previously i would just slot in the classes i could make and that i enjoyed...now cos several i cannot do and also crunches are a no go now so i end up getting frustrated, i can only run and run up stairs a certain amount of time before i am going to go off the deep end :( This is where the fact that im not the type of person who goes into the gym uses cardio equipment then does their lil weight work out then goes home...really works against me...while i dont really "enjoy" working out...i do find the classes easier to get thru.

Anyway enuff rambling....best get organised for some sleep so i have some chance of having some energy for tomorrows training

My attitude to food :)

2011-12-28T17:42:00.000+10:30

Ive still been thinking lots about what I want as goals as 2012. I truly think 2011 was a really good year :) I want to get down to 72 kilos by the end of May and then once there make a decision on whether I want to go further down or not (so another 11 kilos) I want to fit into a medium pair of Lorna Jane flashdnce pants and have them fit loose enough that I can work out in them. To run a 5km run (ahhhhhhhhhhh that may be a dream!) ... to challenge myself with different things at the gym...bootcamp...maybe the running group. And most of these things are all measurable goals....the big one that I have been thinking about lately and which is not measurable...is my attitude to foods. When i started on this journey, the only vegetables i ate was potato, tomatos and onions LOL. Late 2009 i remember sitting down with Fiona and having this conversation where she said...go try one different vegetable which you have no misconceptions of. So i bought a eggplant....and actually liked it! Since then fiona and i discuss food quite regularly...readers of my journal would know i got very interested in organic foods...and started trying more foods. Over the last few weeks ive had a few chats with Fiona about how she maintains her weight without tracking food....what i realise more and more from these chats we have is that she has such a "healthy" attitude to foods...she eats lots of different foods...when going out for dinner will look for vegetarian options or fish...(not creamy laden pasta dishes like me!) She looks outside the box not sticking to the same things all the time...and aiming for a big variety...yet she will still if having a night out will have a glass or two of wine and maybe even some GOOD chocolate...i know my eating has improved a lot over the last few years. But i think it can still improve more. The last 6 months or so ive had the same breakfast and same lunch nearly every day. I wanna get back to having more variety...more foods...more barley...quinoa...a wider variety of fruit...fish...different salads...i think for this reason the 12wbt will be good for me as the meal plans are set...they will take a bit more preparation but im sure i can manage that. So once the 12wbt program finishes i will hopefully have more calorie friendly meals...hopefully it will lead me to discoverring more foods...and i really wanna focus on the attitude of food being what it really is and that is fuel .... but also learning to enjoy in moderation....trying new recipes (going to give that a whirl on my birthday not going for the normal food options!), not having chocolate every day (god this is worse then my diet coke habit i think!!)...i really do see fiona as a mentor and the more i talk to her the more i realise i hope more and more her attitudes to food and eating rub off on me. Im hoping with this focus i will slowly focus more on the nutrition AND fitness side of things. I want to get to that point where i dont look at it like "oh its xmas so i mite as well go have hungry jacks" or "ill just have this chocolate i will be back on track tomorrow" i want my mind to be healthy about it....and for it to lose importance in my life..."eat to live not live to eat".... January 1 i am going to start counting 1200 cals and following michelle bridges crunch time plan....cannot believe only 3 more days of the year left!!!

Work was hectic as today! GAWD thankfully tomorrow is my friday and then three days of again!! YAY!!

I have got in contact with a girl who is doing 12WBT who lives only a few streets away! So with luck we will get along and i will have someone to do a workout in the local area once or twice a week :) I am very sore from yesterdays training session with Fiona...my inner thighs are so sore...dread to think how they will feel tomorrow!! JEEPERS

Back into it....

2011-12-27T14:10:00.001+10:30

I am so glad I got back on track yesterday and didnt delay it till January 1 :) Yesterday morning the scales said 86.3 kilos. Yesterday I ate 1425 cals and burnt 400 cals with a 6.77km walk. This morning the scales had dropped back to 84.1 kilos :) My goal is to be under 82 kilos on January 1...not sure how I will go with that LOL, considering friday is my birthday lol but Im going to be on track every other day and planning to do body combat on the morning of my birthday. This morning i met up with Fiona and we trained for a hour...lots more running...50 tricep dips...some back stretches and pushups...630 calories burnt :) More then happy with that. Must admit the running was super hard today. I mean its hard anytime for me lol but today even harder! lol Im loving training with Fiona outdoors ... nice being outdoors in the freshair....still torturous tho lol.

My back has been really good the last few days....I expect its due to not sitting at my desk for 8 hours a day. I have to work 2 days then another 3 days off so hopefully that will all help. Ive been thinking about goals after reading lots of forum posts for the 12WBT i think a big one is going to be to wear size medium lorna jane (of course!) flash dance pants so they fit me loose enough so i can work out in them. I currently wear size XL and work out in them. The size L fit me but not loose enough to work out in yet. I realised too when thinking about this that i thought the smallest size for my butt would be a size 12. Size 10 has never been a thought to me....its weird to think im in size 14 now...(altho only just)and the next step is a size 12! One of the trainers at the gym once told me...when you get to size 10-12 stop the scales...I doubt i will do that...but its crazy to think i am getting close to that. The other thing i have noticed....is i can feel my hip bones when lying down...i noticed today i can when im standing up wooo hooo!!!!

Tonight im cooking something a bit different....(one of the reasons i am doing 12WBT is to get more meal ideas!) so im going to cook up some barley, add some bacon and capsicum, mushrooms, spring onions etc...hopefully it will be yummii!

Christmas Day

2011-12-25T15:50:00.000+10:30

Its xmas afternoon. This has been a interesting week or so. Ive been off track altho not awfully so. The main damage has been eating too much chocolate and eating carbs at night. What i am discoverring is most of these foods i thought i missed...i dont really miss..I went to mums for dinner friday night. Mum hasnt cooked a real turkey for years....but mum, myself and my sister became converts to "turkey roll"...i had it at mums on friday nite....and realised it is so processed and just not as tasty as i imagined. It was fine to eat but not that yummy. I decided not to have it today. Along with my bad eating i decided to have takeaway for lunch yesterday....2 of my faves have always been kfc and hungry jacks bacon cheese burger...i went with the hungry jacks and all i can say is BLURGH....the chips were all dry and yucky and the burger really was not tasty as all...id prefer a home made burger any day. I have now got to the point of missing "feeling hungry" its like ur constantly full from all this grazing...and its a horrible, heavy feeling as well as feeling lethargic....HATE IT! Im getting back on track in the morning...i dont plan to eat much for the rest of the day i feel so freaking heavy....its gross :(

Xmas day has been very quiet. My mum gave me money as i mentioned yesterday and i bought jeans, my sister and her kids and hubby gave me a purse, necklace, card game and the best present EVER a traditional skipping rope! Made of actual rope with wooden handles...OMG i love LOVE love it....hehe (doesnt take much to make me happy eh?) I did 253 jumps with it this morning (Fiona has told me to do 1500 jumps with a skipping rope this week....eek!) My sisters kids got ipods....so did facetime with my niece today lol was cute as hell she is walking around the house chit chatting to me about what she got....then says to me "what did santa bring you" LOL soooooooo damn cute!!!

I jarred my neck this morning...second time ive done it since i was last at the physio...not sure why its happening (its actually the 3rd time since i started to get back pain) im guessing its related but its annoying...and of course painful and makes me worry im never going to fully get over this back issue.

Tomorrow morning i will weigh in and get back on track. Time to start preparing myself for 2012 and all the goodness and hard work it will bring :) I know the scales are up...im guessing 85 kilos at the moment (yes eek!!!) my aim would be to at least be down to 82 kilos by january 1.

Enjoy you christmas all :)

Xmas Eve :)

2011-12-24T15:39:00.001+10:30

WOW xmas eve...seems like just yesterday it was the start of the year!!! Food wise i havent been so good...have discoverred a few things....hungry jacks is not all its cracked up to be! Had it and thought BLAH couldnt believe it i use to love their food lol Im also missing being hungry at meal time....i tend to graize.....and i seriously miss those hunger pains. Exercise wise tho ive been super good!!! My back seems to respond so good when i exercise...when i go 24 hours or so with no exercise i tend to get stiff and the pain worse. So thursday night i did body balance. Friday morning i ran 2kilometres (yes me!!!) then did body combat....then i trained with Fiona today (YAY!!) we did a 2km run @ a speed of 8 .... then i "jumped" 500 times with a skipping rope (broken up into 2 x 200 jumps and 1 x 100 jumps) then i did 12 pushups with my feet on a bench ... my goodness never done that before !!! Somehow i managed it altho i wasnt going down very low.

I then went shopping...mum gave me money for xmas and i wanted jeans. Ive always worn target jeans...so was super exciting to get some from jeanswest (went to buy them at just jeans but their customer service sucked so they werent getting my money) the guy at jeanswest was fabulous....so i got two pairs both size 14!!! YAY Then wandered to rebel sport got 3 new workout outfits. Adidas and Running Bare ones...all size 10 :)(Progress pic of black jeans and one of the tops below), I then bought also some resistance bands and two new books (a karin slaughter one...and the sweet poison one on sugar in your diet) Great shopping day!!

I am going to map out a 2km run to do in the morning using my runkeeper program to track it ! Then prolly tomorrow afternoon i will do a 6km walk (need to keep this back moving!!), and possibly tuesday me and Fiona are going to go and do a outdoor run...really working on getting ready for this run on January 13!

I have some plans for next year....one of them is getting my own website up which Fiona and her partner are helping with (okay they are actually doing it! lol) :) and also want to look at possibly doing some motivational ABN number yesterday YAY :) so thats another step closer to things.

Ive planned some treats for tomorrow :) Ham and cheese croissant for breakfast with chocolate milk. Lunch roast chicken and pasta salad. Not going to have any bread or anything. Strawberries, bananas and blueberries. My "dessert" i bought 6 mini mud cakes decorated like xmas puddings....they are about the size of a 20 cent piece...i figure they will equal approximately one slice of mudcake but ill feel like im eating more cos there is "six" of them. The only other thing ive got is some jatz and french onion dip. So i am certainly having some treats but im not going nutso. And December 26 back on track. Going to track on my iphone with myfitnesspal its set the calories at 1430 and ill do that till 12WBT starts :)

Run kazz, run....

2011-12-21T21:08:00.001+10:30

I signed up for michelle bridges 12wbt today. I need to now sit down and read thru their forums....lots of info within that forum i suspect. Had a good food day today and burnt 700 calories tonite. Went out running with a friend....we ran 1.75 km then took a small break which involved some tricep dips and tricep pushups against a bench (does that count as a break?????) then we ran the 1.75km again....second time i got a stitch and had to stop but apart from that it was good. I really didnt think id finish one lot of the 1.75kms so pretty impressed i did that :) Wonder how sore I am going to be tomorrow? I suspect sore thighs lol I must say after barely doing any exercise for close to a month thanks to this injured back i was very, very impressed with how well I did :)

Tomorrow nite im back to the gym for body balance. Think it will be good to do a good stretch on these legs of mine!! LOL Must admit i am ready for xmas to be done with lol. I jsut wanna try and maintain and get to the end of the year and get stuck into things again starting January 1. I think come Jan 1 i will cut back to 1300 cals and attempt YET AGAIN to cut out the diet coke lol....i really would like to get down to 72 kilos by end of May.

My physio rang me today to see how I pulled up after body balance. Ive had some pain today so ive made a appointment to see her again next thursday after work. (only time i could get). I asked her about doing combat and she said i should be fine with that so will give that a whirl friday morning.

Ohhhh I got my iphone!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Now just need to buy iphone cover etc and then i will be ready to start using it and giving out my new number (thats a pain in the ass!) but very happy with it...its soooooooo pretty hehehe :)

Okays these old legs of mine need a nice long shower after tonights exercise...enjoy your night all

Back to the gym :)

2011-12-20T19:42:00.002+10:30

Went to the gym this morning...yep actually got my ass out of bed early. Ran 1km on the treadmill then did a 60 min body balance class. So burnt 525 calories. Today was a lot better day...i had one fun size mars bar...(which i always allow myself after the gym) but no caramello bears or freddo frogs etc so thats a plus :) I noticed too i wasnt so preoccupied with food today. So that was good. Tomorrow i am going running outside with a friend....have mapped out a 1.7km run...ive only ever run about 1km outside (apart from shuttle runs) so will be bloody interesting to see if i make it. I was telling ryan about it today (in other words whining about the fact i was going to do it) and he was like i bet you come in on thursday and say u did it plus a extra 300 metres to make it two kilometres,,,,ass,,,,now i feel i gotta LOL otherwise i look like a weenie...anyway we will wait and see. Then thursday night will do body balance and maybe a short 1km run...might just go a lil faster. I am really so far from being able to run 7.5km...not sure how this is all going to go. The body balance and running is going fine...i know part of my issue is my head space that i am worried i am going to hurt my back again. Everytime i think about weights i think nope not going to do them again cos i dont wanna hurt my back, and i know i cant have that attitude long term. When i think about doing 12wbt one of the things that puts me off is the workouts i am worried i wont be able to do. I know theres beginner programs,,,,i am meaning i am worried i will hurt my back again. Hate this cos ive never been worried about hurting myself before...but hate the thought of hurting my back again.

Anyway onto more exciting things...my iphone left the warehouse today! I am suppose to be recieving it tomorrow....im very excited!!! Ive wanted one for so long...but specially for the running apps!!! Anyone know of any good running or fitness apps apart from runkeeper or nike....lemme know!

Getting my head back on track!

2011-12-19T20:30:00.001+10:30

Im giving myself a bit of a kick in the butt. When i got my injury i initially maintained my weight by continuing to eat around 1300-1400 cals. But then i got peeved. So i did a few things i shouldnt do...firstly i decided i was going to cut my snacks out. I then also threw in a no carb day...it worked...i got under 80 kilos. I had another no carb day yesterday....and today have eaten carbs, carbs, carbs and more carbs. You would think i would learn. When i cut out my snacks...and ive been doing this for the majority of the last 7-10 days...ive only been eating 900-1000 calories. The cutting out the snacks probably isnt that big a concern if you eat decent size meals...but i only have a sandwich at lunch....and dinner is only a piece of meat (about 180 grams raw), some kind of vegetable (mushrooms or cherry tomatos as a rule) and 30 grams of feta cheese. In fact most of those days i prolly wasnt even hitting 900 cals. Yup just checked...was a smidgen under 900 cals. Which was stupid of me. I had this thought process of one...just wanting to get to goal....two...well if people who have weight loss surgery eat under 1200 cals then surely i can survive doing it. But its basically put me in a bad cycle...yesterday i ate no carbs and didnt even hit 900 cals...and today i wanna eat every carb in site. One of my other problems is chocolate...which seems to be freaking everywhere at the moment, i have never been a big chocolate eater in the past but i certainly seem to be wolfing the stuff down. Its nothing else i am eating bad...everything else is good foods...but i think ive kinda caused this myself ive restricted myself so much but i can get a freddo frog for under 100 calories so i can fit that in. When in reality i would be better to have some fruit. I have read frequently recently that if you eat your BMR (mine is a lil over 1500) and then burn on average 500 cals per day you theoretically should lose half a kilo a week. I also remember when reading Jillians book on losing the last 10-20 pounds (i want to lose some where between 8 pounds and 25 pounds) anyway she talked about how when you fall into that category you should lose slower and not have as big calorie deficit. She recommended 500-700 calorie deficit per day. so if i was to follow the theory of eat at your BMR so 1500 cals...and aim to burn 500 cals on average per day...i would end up about where JM recommends. So im going to go back to 1500 cals of good wholesome food. Im also going to work on cutting out this bloody chocolate...not so much worried about drinking a hot chocolate or having a chocolate flavoured protein shake but the chocolate itself. Im gonna try and just get to xmas day with no chocolate...baby steps people! And the other aim is to start to get the exercise going. The fact of the matter is im really not in a rush to get to goal. And i think its going to be much healthier if i go there slowly...while i do always hold this huge emphasis on what the scales say i really am going to try and not let small losses or stay the sames or even fluctuations bug me too much....maybe that should be my new years resolution!

I should have gone to the gym tonite. But finding it hard to motivate myself to go simply to do "cardio equipment". Ive never been a lover of the gym...but bloomin cardio equipment is my least favourite...talk about boring the crap out of me. But with not doing pump or boxing anymore...and knowing i do actually have this run i should be getting myself organised a lil bit with i know i need to start working on the cardio, specially as i have sat on my ass for the last 3.5 weeks. This week i am on lates...i can actually get to the gym at 7am and not leave till 8am and would make it to work, tomorrow and friday morning there is classes i could do...body balance tomorrow and body combat on friday. I would say there is RPM on thursday too but im not a fan of RPM and not a fan of the instructor so will skip that. BUT wednesday and thursday morning i GUESS i could plop myself on that bloody cardio equipment. I could at least do 45 minutes. On top of that thursday nite ill do body balance, wednesday nite im gonna do some outdoor running stuff, and tomorrow nite could do some cardio stuff. That would see me off to the end of the week (friday nite am off to mums since i wont see her xmas day). Saturday morning ill do "something" as well...maybe more outdoor stuff. This really is up to me. I need to get my head in the game...eating wise i need to get back to eating enough regularly and eating good foods....and i really need to start to adapt to exercise now its different cos of my back. Why cant everything just be bloomin simple???? hehe

I am off work for 4 days this weekend like a damn normal person which i cannot wait for.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh and i ordered a iphone!!! OMG EXCITED!!! I have thought about getting one for sooooooooooo long. I normally dont have a plan im on prepaid but you cant get a iphone on prepaid and even the androids i dont think are recent ones. So last nite thought bugger it....so i have actually ordered a 32GB WHITE 4S...should arrive on wednesday...cannot wait...already know ill be getting the nike and runkeeper apps so i will know distances i am running and walking...no more guessing for this girl! Ive currently got a nokia e63 its done me good....but its starting to freeze bit...so definitely time for a new one! Oh AND am getting a kindle for xmas!!! Was hoping to get that book "sweet poison" on kindle...but not available :( but ive already created a wishlist of books on amazon lol so i think xmas day may be spent eating and reading (and some form of exercise i guess! lol)

And no one die of shock but i am seriously thinking about setting one of my goals for 2012 to get my licence! That and start the PT course...i keep thinking about that one....and then keep thinking...i prolly wouldnt see it thru so dont bother.

2011-12-18T16:09:00.000+10:30

Back to the gym tomorrow. Im glad to be going back but a bit annoyed i cant throw myself back into things. Suspect now i got the injury thru the impact of hitting a boxing bag in my boxing classes (i was doing 1-2 hours boxing per week) or from incorrect form in pump or lifting too high a weight in pump. Which leads me to not doing boxing at least for a while...and not doing pump...so basically im not doing weights....not really sure long term what i will do in relation to that....really dont wanna risk doing weights unless im with a trainer and i dont wanna do PT, and have no intention of doing pump classes. Which really doesnt leave a huge number of classes for me to do that i dont mind....cycling (and theres only one free style cycling class per week as im not a fan of RPM), body combat and body balance. The "dance" style classes im not a fan off...altho i will do bodyjam tomorrow...mostly because its the only class i can make (except for pump in the morning which is out of course) The frustrating thing in this all...is i expected as i got closer to goal and while at goal and maintaining i would be increasing the weight work NOT cutting it out. Whilst step is one that could be do-able i dont like doing it cos i can never keep up with the choreography. Soooo it kinda cuts out most classes i was previously doing....only cycling and body balance of my previous plans am i still going to do....and i only use to do each once a week. Then i wonder if i should just stick to doing dvds etc at home...Jillian has a yoga one which would prolly be a good one to do....so at this stage really not sure what ill do exercise wise once the new year starts (really the next few weeks is mostly going to be me trying to get my back moving more...wish that wasnt the case...wish it was going to be about running...and burning huge amounts of calories....and body shaping...but alas :()

I have considered doing michelle bridges 12wbt....not for the group work or any of the social aspect....not interested in that at all....mostly just for her 1200 calorie menus....exercise wise id prolly be stuck with the same situation...a pile of stuff i cant do without risking my back again.

Went out for dinner last nite with Martine...major carb overload LOL but was super yummy and great company :) Today im doing a no carb day.

2011-12-16T22:06:00.000+10:30

Tonights been interesting. I am going out for dinner with Martine tomorrow night. So decided to go thru my wardrobe (i give most of my clothes to martine when they no longer fit) anyway....so i pulled out a long halter neck dress (see pics below) size 12 and it fits. Front on it looks pretty good...side on i can see my tummy and ass need work. Then i found a long size 14 straight cue skirt...made of this gorgeous material. I had forgotten about it. Last time i tried it on it was too tight around my tummy and hips....anyway so i pulled it on expecting it to be tight still...but it wasnt!! Slid it on .... threw a singlet on with it and thought i looked okay (see pic below) i took a photo and looked at it....and was astounded. Its the first time ive worn a straight skirt in years and years. My hips dont look terribly huge or out of proportion and looking at that picture makes me realise....if i never lost another gram of weight .... that would not be the end of the world. Now dont get me wrong...i still wanna lose another 11-12 kilos...in some ways thats up to my body...while "68 kilos" sounds like a nice number to get too...i do have excess skin...i might get to 70 or 72 or 75 or even 77 and might body may decide its not gonna budge any further....and if that happens....thats actually okay....no matter what weight or when i get to it....i still have lots of toning to do...whether i end up at 68 kilos 0r 77 kilos....the next few years will still be me reshaping my body...toning up more....building some muscle....and growing stronger...so its a bizarre feeling to think i dont HAVE to see the scales go further down...to think "im healthy" i set out on this journey to get healthy....to not become confined to my home....to stop getting kidney infections and bronchitis all the time....to go out on dates....to live a active life...and to get some resemblance of a social life....and you know what??? Ive got those things...i might not have the number i hope for yet....but the bigger picture is ive done what i set out to do....dont get me wrong im not suggesting im at the end of the journey.....i dont think i ever will be....but i feel like im at a different stage of the journey....not quite at maintenance...but getting incredibly close....and after taking care of this injury...my focus i guess now is more on body shaping....and meeting some fitness goals like running.

My back is better today too! So i think body balance last nite helped! That combined with physio of course.... :) Its nice not taking pain killers anymore LOL...i hated that drowsy feeling...doing nothing but sleep and working.

Back to the gym :)

2011-12-15T20:45:00.001+10:30

Well i survived a work day with no painkillers YAY :) My physio rang me today to check how i was...she told me "move your back but respect your body" so thats what i am doing :) Ive been all thinking i need to get back into the running quick smart cos im worrying about the resolution run in 4 weeks....but really my focus needs to be simply focusing on moving my back more. So while normally my focus is calories burnt, calories burnt, calories burnt...especially the next week or so my focus will be to do a class most days,,,,and ill stick to just a hour or so per day. No crazyness just yet ;) So next week my plan will be:

mon - body jam
tues - body balance
wed - not sure yet
thur - body balance
fri - body combat
sat - might do some running drills

Have decided no boxing or pump for a while. Starting to suspect it is the boxing that bought this injury on....so leaving that for a while.

I went on the treadmill for 15 minutes before body balance....when i was going my normal speed on that i could feel it on my back so had to go pretty slow. Body balance i really didnt feel my back the entire time :) but has been a bit tender since...altho mostly tender the first 10 minutes or so. I dont think the pain is a bad thing....just need to ensure im not getting the real sharp pains.

Work put on a free bbq at work for lunch today....i had some of it....not a lot...just a patty, a sausage, some bread and a lil bit of potato salad.

Weigh In Result - 79.5 kilos!!! :) :)

2011-12-14T18:10:00.000+10:30

Well today has been a fab day!!! I woke up and TA-DA 79.5 kilos on the scales!!! So I have now lost 91.4 kilos (201 pounds) Im so relieved to have reached that mark. I then went shopping :) Went to rebel sport bought two tshirts...a adidas and a running bare one...both size 10 :) and i then went to Lorna Jane...put a top on order...and then bought 2 pairs of flashdance pants....they are a size smaller then my current ones....still tight...definitely show of my fat thighs but ready for me to wear when they fit nicely....they were on special 2 pairs for $100 so couldnt pass them up at that price....plus they gave me a $20 gift voucher to use in January :) I also went op shopping...bought 4 new tops....all size S and XS :)

Then i went to the physio....turns out i sprained my vertebrae facet joint....she manipulated it....and told me to get back to the gym LOL so fabbbbbbbbbbbbb news!!! Basically she said thats the only treatment i need...gave me some exercises to do at home. She told me i will prolly feel like its a lil bruised tomorrow and may feel twinges etc when working out but not to be scared its the movement i need.

I realised something really bizarre today too!! Im not a touchy feely person. I normally avoid hugging people at all costs...but i have noticed lately im getting better at this with friends etc when they hug me. Anyway....so i know my physio shes my body combat instructor (and yeh she is kinda good looking ;) lol) anyway at the end of the session and when i was leaving she gave me a hug and i didnt freak out or try to avoid her or anything crazy...i really am changing!! LOL

Below is a couple of pics from todays clothes....the pants are tight fitting so not overly attractive :)

Some changes...

2011-12-13T09:57:00.002+10:30

My scales were up to 82.2 kilos yesterday morning...so i am trialling something i had considered for a while...yesterday i ate 1150 calories...leaning towards carb foods....today i am having a carb free day (except for the carbs in my vegies) so when i tracked it 6% carbs which is tiny compared to my normal 35-40% carbs and im sticking around 1000-1100 cals. The main thing i am doing is cutting out my snacks. Eating 1300 calories i was obviously maintaining my weight...obviously not exercising i need less cals...so i am changing it around a bit...tomorrow i will eat 1300-1500 cals...so im basically doing that cycle this week...will see what the scales do....if they dont move much...then ill just go back to calorie cycling 1250 cals next week. But knowing my body i think it will respond REALLY well to the no carb days...which will only be 2 a week. So breakfast today was 2 eggs with feta, tomato, milk, and baby spinach all scrambled (i love eggs :)) then for lunch i am going to make a tuna and feta and vegetable fritatta. Dinner will be steak and vegetables. As a side note my scales did drop back to 81.3 kilos...the fluctuation I am sure is related to my cycle being due.

My back seems quite good today...very little pain (last had painkillers on sunday morning) not sure if its cos the painkillers may still be in my system or it is actually improving. Have noticed since the massage on friday i have been getting a "tingling sensation" in the muscle...no idea if that is good or bad...but so far today seems good...the real test will be tomorrow. Tomorrow arvo i am seeing the physio too so will have a good idea about what exercise i can do....and how i can build up my exercise again without redamaging it. Really would like to get back to exercise ASAP but not at the expense of delaying the recovery.

Today and tomorrow I am off work...housework, washing and resting today :) Tomorrow im off to Lorna Jane! To get some of the clothes i currently want LOL just saw they have another new singlet i want....geeeeeeesh!!! I love that they constantly bring out new stuff....lol my bank account doesnt love it so much....plus this month they have 2 pairs of flashdance pants for $100 so im off to buy a couple of pairs in size Large....Im currently wearing XL they are rather loose on my but i love the way they fit...but while they are cheap i want the size Large ones...im also going to buy AT LEAST one new top...maybe two hehe ;)

2011-12-11T12:25:00.001+10:30

This injury is turning out to be VERY frustrating. Im tired of being sleepy from pain killers, im tired of living the whole....work...rest...eat...sleep... i miss the gym itself and just living a more active life. I hate knowing its prolly going to be several weeks at least till i have another loss :( I mean I am maintaining my weight so i know thats good but gawd dammit i just want to get under 80 kilos...it feels like getting under that would be the hardest thing. Altho i realise if i was exercising i quite possibly would be there by now :( I realise the bonus is that i am maintaining my loss and not gaining...but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! its kinda like everything ive been working for is kinda onhold...i know its not...not really...and it is what it is....and maybe this injury is my bodies way of saying it needs a rest (clutching at straws anyone lol)

Plus my cycle is due in a few days...so just gotta remain very focused to ensure no bad eating...maybe once my cycle is gone i will dip under 80 kilos (can only hope right?)

Working today...hanging out for 5pm tomorrow when ill get 2 days off and physio appointment wednesday afternoon :)

Update on my back :)

2011-12-09T20:26:00.001+10:30

Well my back does seem to have improved slightly. I saw a massage therapist today and he did trigger point massage on it...his gut instinct is i have damaged the intercostal muscle which is the muscle between the ribs if not that (and he doesnt believe this is likely) a hairline fracture of one of my ribs. He basically has told me to see a physio (i have a appointment on wednesday), that i can do stretching exercises (so im guessing body balance) but no exercise where my heart rate goes above 50% of my maximum heart rate and no building of muscles currently. So in one sense its good news...just that i am limited. I have some very wise and educated friends on facebook who have also given me some advice...to take about 6 deep breaths every hour as well as some deep coughs (as this hurts to deep breath it can lead to fluid on the lungs) and heatpack and resting. From what I have read on the internet it takes usually 3-6 weeks to heal....it will be two weeks on sunday for me. So the fact it has improved a lil the last few days seems to be a good sign. Ive tried to be a hero and avoid taken pain meds....but i think i am understanding now its more important to keep the pain at bay and ensure i keep deep breathing. So as i am working thru till monday i will keep the painkillers up. Tuesday i am off and i will not take pain killers that day at least initially to guage how its going. (If it is painful i can always lay down till painkillers kick in) My priority is getting over this and getting over it properly. I will be very glad to see the physio on wednesday (she is a fitness instructor from the gym) as she can hopefully give me a real clear guidance in relation to exercise.

In relation to food and the scales....i must say i really am SO impressed with me. For 3 months i have been up and down between 80 and 85 kilos. The first couple of days of this injury my weight got up to 84.4 kilos....i then knuckled down foodwise and been pretty much perfect 90% of the time...and have stayed between 80.1 kilos and 80.7 kilos....so not under 80 kilos which i am dying to hit but at time where i have pain killers in my system, no exercise and frustrations and pain with this injury i just feel i have done really REALLY well and for me thats kinda huge. I am busting to be able to throw myself into everything....but im on this journey to get the healthiest body i can if i have to take things slow and be careful to ensure the end result is that i do have the healthiest body im able to have....then thats what I will do! :)

Whats more important nutrition or exercise?

2011-12-08T10:44:00.001+10:30

So I was asked recently what is more important "diet or exercise" I did respond to the friend briefly on my thoughts but decided it was a good topic to blog on. So firstly I dont think the answer is limited to just those two options....so to be successful at weight loss here is what I think is needed...

1. Firstly your headspace. For me i knew the negative talk was what would put me off track again and again. When I got bronchitis back in 2006 and knew i was going to start back at ww my sister sent me her copy of dr phils weight loss solution book over to me. In it is a section on negative talk. For me I felt it was key, especially in the beginning. I kinda trained myself for anytime (especially in the beginning) when i started to think negatively to not allow my brain to actively think about the negative thought. Not as simple as it sounds but it worked for me. So i guess (and we are all different) is working out the headspace, realising you REALLY want to be healthy. Whether it means seeing a counsellor, doing reading on it, writing in a journal, ... determine what it is about the "mental" aspect that has let you down in the past (ie while you may have seen previous weight loss attempts as failures....they really arent....they are a tool to improve) and come up with strategies to overcome this.

2. Build a support system....OMG this is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo important...I cannot even begin to stress how important this is. There are many ways to do this, join some online weight loss communities...try either weight watchers Australia or US weight watchers or 3 Fat Chicks. Try and work out what it is YOU need....for me I figured out pretty quickly and early I needed a more "personal" approach which is why I did Personal Training. One misconceived perception I had previously was that personal training is just about exercise....really the exercise to me WASN'T the important component of it all...it was having that one person for 30 minutes once a week whose whole focus was on me and making my weight loss successful. With Fiona for me there was many talks on emotional things and day to day things i struggled with thru out this journey....there was lots of progress made on things such as learning not to hate the gym, my fears (and trust me i had many and still do!), building my confidence etc etc and of course a lot of these are aided by the exercise. Also exercise actually helps the mental aspect. Just think about it...if at the end of the day you can go "wow i did 30 minutes of boxing today" isnt that going to make you feel good? Isnt that going to make you realise you are achieving something? Arent you going to feel just darn plain good about yourself???? Otherways of building support might be joining a team sport, Maybe your partner or you have a friend on this journey as well? Just dont think you can do this completely alone....cos trust me you cannot....we are humans....we need that interaction and we all need support.

3. Nutrition I believe is a huge factor in the scales actually moving once you have the headspace and support system going. What you put in your body will determine how it works. Its no different to a car....you put crappy fuel and no maintenance into your car it wont work well...but the person putting the good fuel in and maintaining their car most likely will have a car that runs lovely. Nutrition really isnt rocket science. The simple answer is everything in moderation (yes even chocolate!), eat what you like, avoid processed foods (cos seriously why on earth would you want to feed your body a pile of chemicals), eat natural foods and organic where possible, eat from all 5 food groups, eat red meat once a week at least, pretty much follow the rule of if it didnt grow in the ground or come from a animal (milk) or have a mother - dont eat it....or eat it in moderation. The other thing is find foods you like....dont start eating foods you dont like cos you wont maintain it. Look outside the box...and find good foods you enjoy!

4. I dont believe exercise makes you lose weight faster. I dont believe it helps the scales move. What it does do tho is it helps tone your body, helps your "mental health" from those feel good hormones, improved cardiovascular system, increase brain function, improves confidence, you become stronger, you are getting out and living more whether out in the fresh air or at a gym, helps with balance, makes stronger bones....I could go on and on. The benefits is endless. You have two options with a weight loss journey. You can get to goal so that the number on the scales is that magical number but your not overly healthy on the insides and what they call "skinny-fat" or you can exercise as well as eat well....and end up with a toned, strong healthy body inside and out...where you not only have the magical number on the scales but internally and externally you are healthy.

To me my journey isnt about getting to that magical number (altho it is part of it!)...what its about is getting a body i am proud of and that glows with health :)

2011-12-07T10:42:00.001+10:30

My back still hurts :( I thought the accupuncture might be helping but it seems is just the pain killers. I have a appointment with a guy friday night who comes to our work on friday afternoons to do massages, he does sport massages, trigger point massages etc. Ive heard really good feedback about him...so until then i will keep up the pain killers (tomorrow i am off so can rest my back good) and then fingers crossed he can help me friday afternoon if not im going to see the physio wednesday afternoon...surely one or the other will help..im starting to worry i am never going to get over this :(

Foodwise my eating has been really good. The scales have been fluctuating between 80.1 kilos and 80.5 kilos...so i am as sooooooooooo close to the 70's as you can prolly be without being there lol. I am guessing the lack of exercise and the taking of the painkillers is affecting the scales at the moment ... so hopefully....if i ever friggin get over this back and can stop taking the pain killers the scales will get under 80 kilos.

Not much else going on....im pretty much working, sleeping and resting....very boring life at the moment!!!

My Damn Back.

2011-12-04T20:10:00.001+10:30

My back really hasnt been so good today. I have felt very sorry for myself...laying on my back but thinking lots. Last nite i slept on my side instead of flat on my back and think that prolly didnt help. And right now I am on my 3rd dose of pain killers...right at the moment it doesnt feel so bad. But i have decided i am DETERMINED not to let this change me getting to goal....it may be just the way i go about it differs. Yanno it could suddenly be all good tomorrow....or if i be realistic it is a back issue it could be a lot longer. So the next few days when not at work it will be all about resting, and laying flat on my back as much as possible (thats what the doctor recommended). Tomorrow nite i am going for another treatment for accupuncture. And then ill give that a few days if its still sore i will go and see my body combat instructor. She is a physio in her 9-5 job and the fact she will be able to give advice on exercise etc will be helpful. It may be a case i will need to change my focus to things like body balance, and possibly pilates (yuck!) till i get over this properly. If it does take a long time to heal there is a local gym with a pool and hydrotherapy...and their weekly membership is only $10 a week so i mite join it and that way use a pool (not ideal to me....as i am paranoid about slipping getting in and out of the pool...but swimming and possibly aqua aerobic classes mite allow me to exercise and get my heart rate a lil bit up whilst helping my back) I of course wouldnt stop my gyms membership...the goal would be to get back to my fitness classes and things like bootcamp and running etc. The one thing i can control in all of this is my nutrition...so that will be a big focus. Bit annoying cos i want to get to not only goal but to have as toned as body as possible...and this may put a dent into those plans...but i can only try and do my best...getting to goal isnt the issue to me....its the building muscle mass and being as lean as possible side of things thats the issue and also ensuring doing everything possible to ensure this back thing doesnt become a reoccuring issue.

Reflection on 2011 and some goals for 2012

2011-12-03T13:59:00.001+10:30

Crazy to think its December! Where the hell has the year gone??? But its a awesome time to reflect on what I did this year and to START to assess some goals for next year.

So what did i accomplish this year?

So far to date ive lost spot on 25 kilos :) Thats a pretty damn awesome average for the year if you ask me....averages out to about 500 grams per week. - A goal I wrote last December for this year was "I am not going to put the expectation on myself to reach goal in 2011...but i certainly wanna aim for a 15 kilo loss with toning of my body...and my health drastically improving. (only need to lose 300 grams per week to meet this)"

I flew to Sydney - climbed the harbor bridge AND had a pedicure (the pedicure was a first lol)

Was in Thats Life Magazine

Was In Lorna Janes Book

Approached to be in the January edition of Fernwoods Magazine

I did go on some dates

Started doing a pile of exercises I never use to do : Jumping jacks, skipping with a skipping rope, running, i now find mountain climbers "easy", and even tho my pushups are far from perfect they have improved.

Rowed 2km in 8mins 58 secs which was pretty damn awesome for me

Climbed up the Westpac Building (30 flights)

Participated in the Mothers Day Classic Walk

Completed the Fernwood Foxy Challenge and was the winner for our team

So what are my goals for 2012?

To get to goal!! No questions asked!!!

Going to Sydney for 2 trips

Go to Melbourne to do the Eureka Climb

Complete the 7.5km Resolution run (and run some of it altho I dont expect to run it all)

Do the mothers day classis AND run it all!

Do one of the gyms bootcamps and do every session

Enter the City to Bay as a runner and run at least 6kms of it

To start my training to be a personal trainer

2011-12-03T11:52:00.001+10:30

Oh i have missed my lil journal! My sore back got to the point that sitting up and typing a lot really hurt so i have had to avoid the journal for a bit. But i am SO happy to say my back is definitely on the improve :) I had accupuncture done on it thursday....yesterday it was really painful...and today there is still a lil bit of pain...but it is SO improved...i feel incredible!! :) I have really missed the gym this week. Early in the week when the pain was really bad i actually half felt like cancelling my gym membership...it was so frustrating not being able to even sit up without intense pain. Early in the week my eating went WAY off track too...wednesday morning i was 84.4 kilos!! EEK!!! But i am very happy to say its back down to 80.7 kilos this morning and that goal of being under 80 kilos on the 1st of january is very doable.

My big concern now is getting my back to 100% and avoiding any further injuries. I have the 7.5km run to train for which is in mid january. Im convinced i scored this injury in pump and so have decided no weights until at least mid january. And when I manage to catch Fiona at the gym next ill get her to show me some exercises to help strengthen my back. So between now and mid january it will be cardio, cardio and more cardio!! LOL Altho this week ill take it very easy....no classes or bootcamp....just some walking in my area and on the treadmill....the week after ill start to up the ante a lil. You dont realise how much you get out of the gym till its taken away from you! And even tho im not a lover of exercise...i do miss the environment and the feeling of accomplishing something :)

And with that going to keep this post short as i can feel my back tugging a lil...so back to laying down for me...enjoy your weekend all!! :)

Kelp noodles, sore back and the scales!!!

2011-11-28T19:11:00.001+10:30

Ive had a really sore back the last few days....its been tender for a month or so but today its been soooooooo painful....3 doses of painkillers did nothing for it. But Fiona recommended i massage it with a tennis ball....it seems better altho far from perfect. So ill be taking the tennis ball to work with me tomorrow! So I skipped the gym. Hopefully it keeps improving...i keep massaging it...so hopefully soon enough it will be back to 100%....just one injury/pain after another lately....pain in the flippin ass...and really makes me worry that what i am doing is right.

When i woke up this morning the scales had dropped to 83.3 so a drop of 500 grams overnight which was pretty damn awesome. Still aiming for under 83 kilos on sunday...should certainly be doable.

Tomorrow night i have bootcamp im making a point to not think about it too much...just gonna get out there and do it :) Hopefully i dont hate it as much as last thursday nite lol.

I really do like the photos in the previous post....not so wrapped with my stomach....but i like how i "look" especially in the face and my eyes....to me i just look happy and healthy....and in my eyes thats pretty attractive. (Yes i really did say that - things and my perception of me REALLY are changing!) Its a nice feeling to look at a photo and not go "omg gross" and instead go "chit i really like me in this photo" its a very very nice feeling!!!

I cooked with kelp noodles last nite...Fiona bought a batch and i bought half of her....they are pretty expensive but high in iodine which is something i need!! For 340 grams they are a whole 18 calories and 3 grams of carbs...like omg!! so low....im going to try and make a bolognaise sauce and have the kelp noodles with them, i never have pasta at home anymore....but if this works out it will be nice to have a low carb "pasta" meal hehe :)

Pics, Pics and more Pics ;)

2011-11-28T11:52:00.001+10:30

Just a few pics ;)

Thinking....BUT good thinking for once lol ;)

2011-11-27T12:07:00.001+10:30

Well i feel much better today - not so tired!! LOL Finally took a good luck at the hair colour they put in on friday....and do LOVE it :) I will definitely be going back to that hairdresser (and the bonus is they are located only 2 doors up from my house lol)

Last week was really quite disastrous....classes with trainers where i didnt really feel i got a lot out of the classes....my brain overthinking but now looking back....i think i needed this week to realise a few things. The first thing is there is like 5 weeks or so of the year left....and my goal is to see the year in weighing in the 70's. This morning the scales were up to 83.8 kilos (more sodium gain from friday) so i basically need to lose 3.9 kilos....which i can lose if i apply myself. I am spending xmas at home now (i have 24th-27th off but as work left it so late to confirm my leave to fly to streaky and back would cost $500 eeek...i could travel over with mum and her hubby and catch a bus back....but thats travelling for 2 days of a 4 day weekend which doesnt entice me at all....and of course im concerned about being under the same roof as my mums hubby for 2 nights....i think id end up pissed off more then i would be having a good time lol) so xmas at home...which is fine...to me its just another day....ill cook a turkey roll here and some salad...and in reality it will help ensure i meet my goals. Im thinking as a treat for me....i will tho buy a ticket to see chorus line for NYE (it opens new years eve at festival theatre) i use to go to musicals and live theatre A LOT.....you name a lot of musicals and i have prolly seen it LOL even flew over to Sydney to see 42nd street one time ;) so even tho it will mean going to see them by myself im going to start going to shows again (i use to go often by myself) but of course the seats became a issue. And because catching a taxi would be a freaking pain in the ass on NYE i will book in to a hotel for the nite.... lastminute.com.au has lots of good deals...prolly wont book it till closer to the date but thats what im thinking....if something happens and i dont go see a chorus line on NYE i will definitely go see it while its here...but NYE sounds good to me!!

I saw a advertisement in fernwoods current magazine yesterday for next years "foxy challenge" i did it last year...and at the time it was perfect...it was a PT session per week and a slim session....there was a weekly challenge which i would do with Fiona which also had a guage for where your fitness level was at for your age group. I found the challenge really good at the time...it wasnt too much different to what i was already doing but it enabled me to get a perspective on where my fitness level was at. But talking to Fiona and Tracey (my pump/boxing/cycle instructor lol) has got me thinking....they both said something to me but expressed it in different ways....Fiona said....things like bootcamp....which take me out of my comfort zoneis important for me to "grow" .... and Tracey said "this is exactly what you need at this stage of your journey"....those two comments together have made me realise i need to move past things like "foxy challenges" things where its just a PT session and me being mollycoddled...in a challenge....i need to actually really challenge myself with things that seem really scary. There would be no harm in doing the foxy challenge again for example...and yep it would mean i would be doing PT once a week....but would i gain anything else from it? Prolly not. Its the things like bootcamp i need to do....maybe doing the running club if they do that again next year (now that would SERIOUSLY be putting me out of my comfort zone....but the bonus would be that Tracey has previously run that and she touches base with me a bit and checks up on me so ive built a lil bit of a relationship with her...so i think doing something completely out of my comfort zone but with a trainer who knows a lil bit about me and who i trust would hopefully give me the confidence to stick at something like that) So next year REALLY needs to be a year of stepping out of my comfort zone (and getting to goal!)

I bought a gym ball (fit ball) yesterday...all blown up now....nice to have one here that I can practice on in the privacy of my house....i use to use it a lot when i did PT with Fiona but i kinda sucked at it....but having it here at home where i can fall off it and the only thing i hurt is my pride is rather good ! I even saw a foam roller yesterday....it looks like the ridgy didge thing....was $90 so might even buy one of them so i could do more stretching at home.

Exercise wise my plan for this week is:

mon - 3 x boxing classes (geesh that will kill me!) or abs class and body combat (gonna ring the gym tomorrow to check whose taking boxing and if its not Tracey then will do the abs and combat
tues - bootcamp
wednesday - cycle class
thursday - boot camp
friday - body pump
saturday - body balance + my own stuff

I need to do a few runs as well. Prolly early in the week as i know thursdays bootcamp will be sprints. So 5 weeks till new years day....so i need to average a loss of 800 grams per week. So the aim is to get under 83 kilos by saturday which considering i know most of my current gain is from sodium that should be easy to do!

Xmas Party and Pics :)

2011-11-26T15:43:00.001+10:30

Well yesterday was the day of the xmas show! Big day :) Started early with a eyebrow wax and then shopping for shoes and a handbag. I then went to diva and bought a ring....i havent worn a ring since i gave Ang her ring back all those years ago...the one i bought was a size small and was too big ;) hehe but i must admit its got me contemplating buying myself a ring. Im not a jewellery person as such and one of the reasons im tempted to not get one is cos i am worried i would catch it on something at the gym....but i definitely felt very feminine wearing it. I then went and did pump. Put 7.5 kilos on each end of the bar during the squat track -rawr- the instructor says do 2-3 times your warm up weight for the squat track. I do 5 kilos for the warm up track...so not too far off doing two times the warm up track. I also did a couple of 100 metres sprints on the treadmill at a speed of 10. Woke up today with VERY sore thighs. Anyway....after pump my instructor had a lil chat to me about doing bootcamp....there really is no getting out of this bootcamp... altho Fiona keeps telling me this is going to be good for me not only exercise wise but also "personal growth" so im going to stick at it :) And i am even going to try telling myself i dont hate it! LOL Must admit its very nice knowing the gym is so supportive of me :)

Anyways then i went home....and headed off to the hairdressers, had a dark brown put in my hair, trimmed and curled with the straightener. It seriously looked SO good! I loved it :) I then got dressed....scooted out the house and into the casino to meet Jaimee for a drink before heading to the party. The party was lots of fun!! But i was tired :( I had 2.5 glasses of champagne...and ate lots of crappy food! LOL They did have the best cupcakes and i had two....and i had lots of spring rolls, pork balls, chicken and corn muffins and lots of other finger food. I did feel really good last nite...I knew i looked pretty good (as long as you didnt look at the side view....i looked big then) but i did have lots tell me i looked good and i felt good myself....nice to not feel like the ugly beast i always viewed myself as (no i dont view myself like that these days) Anyway i was home by a lil after 11pm. A good nite but i was more then happy to crawl into bed too! I have added some pics at the bottom of this post :)

Woke up very tired today not surprisingly lol. Walked out into the living room to see my heels from last nite sitting in my gym bag LOL. Went and did body balance. My thighs were very sore and you are actually in the "squat" position a lot in body balance so they ached....then i did some of my own stuff....dragged my ass thru 2 hours of the gym. Then i went to rebel sport to buy a gym ball....got one :) (Might have to ask Fiona to write me a bit of a program for stuff to do at home with it...we were using them a lot when I was doing PT with her and my balance sucks so its certainly something i could work on) anyway while there i went and checked out there clearance rack of clothes (cos im a cheapsake!) anyway they had a pink running bare t shirt...i picked it up...was a size 10 so nearly put it back then thought oh ill try it on....and TA-DA it fits! Its even got room around the waist area....they are actually a good fit for me....usually when something fits me around the hips it is huge on my top half....but this fits me quite nicely....will post a pic below.

I look at all these pics from last nite...and its amazing to think thats me...and im not talking about the physical aspect so much....i can look at the pics and see that im truly happy in them...whilst i realise i did the work to get to where i am....i am really REALLY appreciative and thankful that i managed to build such a good support network around myself and go on this journey....and its far from over....and im not even talking about the number on the scales...this journey doesnt truly ever end...but i cant wait till i get to that point where im happy with this number of the scales and my body....and im 110% confident in myself to really tackle anything.....this week with bootcamp has made me realise im so far from that! Fiona has been telling me i really need to put myself out of my comfort zone to keep growing....and as much as i hate to admit it....i think she is right!

I really do think this week tested me....the whole bootcamp thing did my head in so much....and i prolly did go to food more then i liked to cope...i wasnt terrible but did eat a few things i shouldnt have....but i think the fact that im still going to continue doing it and not give up and throw the towel in like i normally would is a big plus for me. Challenging...but the easy way out would be to give up everything and throw myself in a huge bucket of KFC....but giving up didnt come into it....i had a few things i shouldnt have eaten....but im still here plugging along not giving up...and thats whats important!!

Progress Pic - April 2006 (170.9 kilos) vs November 2011 (81.2 kilos)

Jaimee and Me

Kerry & I - mmmm cupcakes :)

Jaimee, David & Me

Me and my size 10 Running Bare T shirt

More photos will come next week from the real photographers! :)

Bootcamp.

2011-11-24T22:20:00.001+10:30

The scales dropped again overnight....down to 81.6 kilos...which put me in a much more positive frame. Work was work...lol...only bummer was i didnt realise id run out of my muesli bars ive been having in the afternoon....so i took a extra banana but it wasnt ripe enuff so it got ditched :( so then i was like off to the cafeteria looking for something that was around the 150 calorie mark (and trust me there is nothing in that calorie range there!) then i remembered they had put wagon wheels into the vending machine and i know they are around 217 calorie so i had one...really wasnt suitable....not only cos i know its not suitable...but i was still hungry after....i didnt eat anything else...but still altho it was tasty wasnt a great option!!! Tomorrow i am going to pick up some protein powder and go back to my protein shakes in the afternoon.

Tonight was the first session of bootcamp i actually turned up too LOL. I really didnt wanna go...but i knew i needed to at least do one session. So it started with a bit of a jog to the grounds where we worked out...we then did 10 sprints of 10 seconds, 20 seconds and 30 seconds. I was the slowest (no surprise there) i pretty much sucked at it LOL...and i hated the fact that i am so slow....and did feel very self conscious. But since i am registered for a 7.5km run in January it wont kill me to keep them up....after that we did 2 rounds of a circuit - 1 minute at each station....there was tricep dips, pushups, step ups, hovers and crunches. We then had to run up and down a set of stairs for 2 minutes and then walk back to the gym. I did burn 647 calories...and yeh i didnt enjoy it (i honestly didnt expect too) but....i know i need to see this thru....i have a very bad habit of giving up things when they get too hard....its actually quite surprising that i have stuck at this weight loss gig! LOL But i do realise thats a habit i need to break....so i think i need to see this thru,,,,much as i wont like it. Big reminder to me why I started with PT all those years ago LOL.

I am off tomorrow....busy day....eye brow waxing....then gotta buy shoes, handbag and any jewellery to go with my dress (argh havent even decided on what colour shoes to wear...sighs) then body pump....then a hair appointment for my hair to be coloured and styled...before i go to works xmas show. Hopefully its a good nite and worth all this time ive spent shopping for blooming dresses! LOL

2011-11-23T21:13:00.001+10:30

I feel better tonight. Im not quite sure why....but im guessing its attending the gym (altho i was kinda slack there...didnt do my running stuff). My normal trainer for cycling wasnt taking the class so we did RPM...im not a big fan of RPM but it was a workout and i needed that :) I was a bit annoyed when i first got to the gym i dont like change (no ground breaking news there!) so was a bit jacked about the change of instructor but the class was okay.

I wore a tshirt instead of a singlet....but you could still see my arms and the wrinkly bits :( I might take some photos this weekend so i can monitor the skin and muscle more over the new few months. Im really thinking i need to up the weight work for the arms.

Tomorrow is my friday....three day weekend coming my way (Yay!)

Im determined to try and go to this bootcamp tomorrow night with the right attitude...i do think i will suck at it....but if i go in with the attitude of "i dont wanna be here" then i prolly am going to hate it...i need to focus on the benefits doing this could be for my body and weight loss. I wish i was that person who could just go do these things without any second thought....but i think i will always be like this....i remember as a kid taking private ballet lessons and i was suppose to perform a solo dance at a esteidford....mum had stayed up the night before sewing a tutu...on the morning of the esteidford i woke up and said im not going....sounds familiar eh lol

Jumped on the scales earlier...they seem a bit better tonight...hopefully i will go down a lil more tomorrow morning....to be under 81.5 kilos by friday morning would be nice...i was 82.4 kilos this morning so we will see what happens.

2011-11-23T12:35:00.001+10:30

So firstly i have switched off comments on the blog so sorry at least for the moment no comments can be left.

So last nite i SHOULD have gone to do my first bootcamp session...i stressed over it the entire day...im not sure if its just the group aspect or cos i will feel out of my league but i just didnt want to go and my stomach churned a lot thruout the day while i ummmed and ahhhed about it. The next session is tomorrow nite....do i want to go? nope...but i have paid for it...and while already im thinking about how this wasnt a wise decision i will go and do one session...and then if i dont like it i just wont go to anymore. I think this just proves to me beyond a shadow of doubt im not a group person! I wont be registering for running group, or bootcamps or crossfit or anything like this again. And the thing is cos i dont want to do it, it makes me want to avoid the gym....so my headspace is all over the place a bit. I doubt i can do the bootcamp and that gets me really questioning whether i can make it to goal....after getting down to 80.5 kilos last week....2 bad meals on sunday and i was up to 83.2 kilos monday morning and 82.4 kilos this morning....so im basically up 2 kilos....pretty much back where i was 2 months ago UGH shoot me now!!

The skin on my arms is getting wrinklier and wrinklier....the dress im suppose to wear friday nite is short sleeved and i am really regretting not buying a long sleeve dress now. I think my arms have got to the point now where i cant wear singlets/tank tops and short sleeves. Wont lie it concerns me IF i get to goal...im going to end up at a "healthy number on the scales" but my body is going to look like the saggy, baggy elephant and yes i know i could consider surgery....but i wont...one thing i know without a shadow of a doubt ill be having no skin surgery.

Anyway thats my gripe of the day....no matter how close to goal....this headspace stuff can really do you in!

oooops.....a lil too much carbs yesterday!

2011-11-21T20:38:00.001+10:30

Yesterdays food ended up being pretty attrocious :( Carbs, carbs and more carbs followed off by chocolate mousse! Lawdie!!! The scales were back up to 83.2 kilos this morning....no surprise there. But back on track today.

Did 250 "jumps" with the skipping rope tonite...think i mite try and do 250 every night. I am actually getting quite good and quite fast at them! Only prolly takes me 5-6 minutes to do 250. I went to the gym tonight... my normal boxing instructor didnt take the class....someone else took it....the class was really not so good LOL...it was prolly 1/3 of it was ab stuff....normally i burn 350-440 in the boxing class, and i think the way the normal instructor does the class where she overloads one arm then overloads the other has had something to do with the change in the shape of my shoulders (not solely this cos the last few months before fiona left the gym we did a LOT of work on my chest and shoulders but i think the boxing classes help) i normally do two classes in a row....but didnt bother staying for the second one. In hindsight had i known about the instructor change i woulda done abs express and then combat....oh well cant change it now....might call up next monday and check if the instructor will be doing the normal classes! lol

My abs are still sore from friday and saturday....quite low in the abs but i also noticed this after up around the rib cage area when i take a deep breath...lawdie i sound like im a old woman "oh it hurts to breathe!" lol Usually mondays is such a big calorie burn...im so disappointed about those classes....when i saw my normal boxing instructor leave the room i shoulda said "where you going? what class you teaching? i need a big calorie burn" lmfao! Its weird how when i have a meal or day off track....suddenly the "compliments" start to affect me like they did in the old days.....when ive had a day or so of being off track...and someone then is complimenting me on my weight loss i feel like SUCH a fraud....it doesnt help either that i think sometimes people have the wrong perception of me...i do sometimes think people think i love the gym....breeze thru my workouts....and thats just not the truth....i dont love exercising....but i do love how self accomplished i feel after but i dont enjoy the act of exercising....i struggle with what others would prolly call basic exercises...im not "natural" athletic....quite the opposite....even some of the most basic fundamental exercises i struggle with or dont perform at the level i should at this point....just basic things like pushups, squats, lunges etc.....so everyone who thinks im some wonderwoman in the gym...i really arent...im more like the "little engine who could" i just try and keep at it till somehow i do it at a passable level ;)

Bootcamp tomorrow nite....wonder if i will hate it as much as i did crossfit lol Goodness i hope i manage to stick it out!

2011-11-20T16:52:00.000+10:30

So i did my 500 "jumps" with my skipping rope today :) YAY one part of my homework done and dusted. I actually kinda like it...(funny how these solo exercises i usually end up quite liking!)

Went out for lunch today with Tania omg ate so much! lol bruschetta and lasagne...the bruschetta was HUGE but omg so yummii!! So good to catch up with her.

Ive come to a interesting conclusion recently...a few years ago....a goal was i wanted a relationship...i thought i NEEDED that....and trust me if the right girl landed on my doorstep i wouldnt say no ;) but the reality is in some ways i lead quite a "straight" life....im not a activist...im not interested in going to clubs...im just not interested in the "scene" as such....normally i would think this is me getting old LOL....but its not that....it just doesnt interested me enough, being in large crowds, in environments which are so loud that i cant even hear the people i am with....i much prefer my socialising to be out for dinner with friends were we can actually socialise. My life is so busy now...and its only going to get busier. Of course my weight loss and my fitness takes up some of my time and always will, i spend a bit of my time finding motivational stuff for my facebook group, updating my journal, reading on weight loss/fitness etc. Fiona and her partner have started to help me out with doing some work towards a website i am putting together (altho they are really doing all the hard work at this point!) but its a site which will help me to meet my goal of "paying it forward" .... its still in the planning stages at this point....but will basically be a "community"...with interaction such as forums, calender with my activities, promoting me to eventually doing motivational speaking, the site really has a lot of potential...but its in the early stages and over time will evolve. Then next june i want to FINALLY start studying towards being a personal trainer, then i am doing the resolution run in january and i am sure as the years go thru there will be more things like that i enter or start to train for. January the fernwood magazine comes out...i mean really i dont know what the future holds for me....and who knows what will happen as next year unfolds....but its so nice to be at a point in my life where its so fulfilling...and things that have been goals for years (such as "paying it forward") will start to come to fruition.

Big exercise week this week. Each day at the gym ill run 1km at speed of 8 and 3 times this week ill doing intervals totalling 1km at a speed of 10. My class routine this week should be: mon - 2 x 30 min boxing classes tues - bootcamp wed - cycling class thurs - bootcamp fri - bodypump sat - balance + running drills And of course friday nite is works xmas show! excited much???? The bonus is a 3 day weekend as well...only have to work 4 days this weekend :)

Excess Skin

2011-11-20T10:39:00.000+10:30

Partly because a lot of people ask about my excess skin and partly to use as progress pics over the next few months....heres some pics of me front on and side on with my stomach tucked into pants and without it....personally for losing 90 kilos I dont think it looks to bad....but I definitely still have another 10-15 kilos to lose :)

2011-11-19T19:27:00.000+10:30

I have sore abs! Either I am cramping (which i shouldnt be) or i gave them one hell of a workout today LOL I gymmed it today....did some running drills and stuff and then body balance. Burnt a nice 853 calories....so i only worked out 3 days this week cos of my neck/shoulder but in 3 days i managed to burn 2300 cals...which works out to a average of 700 calories per day...awesome :)I am actually starting to realise i am fitter and more capable then i realise. Was comparing mountain climbers today....and i did some ordinary mountain climbers and then the word "they're easy" popped out of my mouth. And i was reminded when i use to hate them and struggled to be able to do them. I still say/think "can't" a lot but i am starting to realise lil by lil...that not all the time when i think can't is it true. I know a lot of my "can'ts" are based on what i couldnt do 90 kilos ago....but slowly slowly my head is starting to catch up.This week i have a goal to "skip" as with a skipping rope....500 times. Not all at once...spread out over the week...i have a skipping rope at home...so might try and do some of it tomorrow...also need to do my runs like i should have done last week..plenty of things to occupy me when at the gym :)Works Xmas show is next friday...still so funny to realise i am really going this year. Ive never been once over the 10.5 years i have worked there...Ive bought tickets a couple of times before and then chickened out on the day...but i SWEAR thats not happening this year! I just need to buy shoes and a handbag of some flippin description ... i have the day off work (YAY 3 day weekend coming my way!!) so in the morning i will get my eyebrows waxed...body pump at lunchtime....then hair appointment at 3pm.....and party is at 7pm !! WOOT WOOT!!!I actually talked to one of the food coaches today about weighing in with her once every 5 weeks...i just wanna weigh in semi regularly to check my body fat % .... so my body balance instructor does slim so i mentioned it to her today,.....she only does it thursday mornings....and i only wanted to do it once a month....and i have a thursday off every 5 weeks so that works out well.Tomorrow i am out for lunch with Tania...havent caught up with her for ages...so that should be good.

Its the weekend!

2011-11-18T20:25:00.003+10:30

Ahhhhh glorious friday nite and whats even better no work for me this weekend!! YAY!!! I got my MeTV today (like telstras T box) which once i set it up means i can record Jillian on the doctors everyday!! wooot !!! excited much???? lol

Tonite i went to the gym...i ran 1km on the treadmill...admittedly only at a speed of 7 but i did it...i felt very tired :( and then i did body pump .... i had told my instructor about how i was getting over having pulled my "trap" muscle....so she told me to go very light on the weights...which I did. :)

I am like ridicuously excited about sleeping in tomorrow LOL. Ive been up 5.30am most days this week and woot i can sleep in till 9am tomorrow....LOVING IT!!!

Sarah (fionas best friend and trainer at the gym) saw a copy of Lorna Janes book today!!! She said the book looks really good...our local store has one copy in LOL so hopefully they will have a copy for me to buy soon.

Looking forward to a good weekend...sleep in tomorrow as i mentioned LOL...gym in the morning...balance and some of my own stuff...saturday nite at home which i am looking forward too (when you gym it most nites of the week those evenings at home are such a treat!) and sunday out for lunch with tania and to make the weekend wonderful would be to weigh in under 80 kilos monday morning...not so sure how that will go tho!!

Have a fab weekend!

PS i nearly forgot...i had to change my top at the gym tonite i would normally ALWAYS do that in a toilet or shower behind locked doors...but today i was like...bugger it...ripped it off in the change rooms and changed....with no concern ;) thats HUGE (and unfortunately noticing new "wrinkles" on my stomach,,,,more excess skin UGH)

What did I get from this journey apart from the obvious?

2011-11-17T11:47:00.003+10:30

I had a interesting question asked of me on the ww forum... which was....do you feel different apart from the obvious? And when I thought about it...its that when I look at my "before pics" I not only see a sad person but also a negative person. Before this journey I was negative, pure and simple, I thought nothing good happened to me, that life sucked and the world was against me. I felt powerless to control my life. As i went thru this journey...I realised I am capable of things...i discoverred life is as good as i make it....thats up to me and the attitude i take with my day each morning...good things happen to me because of me and cos i put myself out there. I realise now its not just that i fit into a size 12 dress that makes life good, i am appreciative of the numerous good things in my life...from people who i surround myself with....how i spend my spare time....i am a fulfilled person with a huge amount of self satisfaction and not the empty person i once was. Really i was like a empty vessel....my heart wasnt truly beating....i was just pldding along in life...now "inside" i feel full...i have lots to think about....lots of things to occupy my lil brain....which doesnt involve being a negative zap...thats what i got out of this journey....besides a smaller dress size!

90.3 kilos lost!!!

2011-11-16T19:43:00.002+10:30

Well today has been a brilliant day. Yesterday afternoon I went and saw my physio. She wasnt surprised at all that I had been having headaches....she did some manipulation on my neck and shoulder and found i have some "trigger points" anyway its much better today!!

This morning when I woke the scales had dropped down to 80.6 kilos!!! WOOT!!!! So i have now lost 90.3 kilos....soooooooooooo wrapped!!! It is now seeming possible I could make being in the 70's by works xmas show on the 25th....fingers crossed!!! Its crazy to think I am getting towards the end of this weight loss gig (altho i still have about 13 kilos to go to get to my "ultimate goal") and of course once there the work is far from done. But weird to think at some point in the next 6-9 months....the whole "did i lose weight this week" question wont be part of my life...it will be more a case of "wooo hooo i maintained my weight another week" (altho that may not happen initially as i may fluctuate a lil with muscle gain) Its weird tho still....i look at myself and still have a lot of fat on me....especially on my stomach and thighs...its weird to think only another 10 or so kilos....i will theoretically be at goal...just seems i have more fat on my body....then losing 10 kilos will get rid off....but oh well will worry about that more when i get to that number.

And with that...Im off to veg in front of the tv before a early nite...7.30am start tomorrow morning!!

2011-11-15T08:29:00.002+10:30

Im home today...my neck is giving me a headache and i slept crappy....add to that i am nauseaus which is prolly related to my iron being down a bit with being my cycle and a couple of bads nites sleep. My head is pounding altho my neck feels like it has a lil more movement...ill just be relieved once i get to see my physio...im thinking i prolly wont exercise tonite or tomorrow...but hopefully thursday nite ill be back into things. Pain in the ass just as im starting to get back into the running...but its only a few days....still frustrating tho.

As i said last nite...i really am at a good place in my life at the moment....and i think the biggest point that makes me realise it...is im at a point where if the scales went no further down that would be okay. (not that i am planning to maintain...my goal is to get well within the healthy weight range). I now where size 10 tops....size 12 dresses and pants are a size 14-16...its not my "dream" of where i want to end up...but its still pretty damn good. No matter what number i end up on the scales....it wont mean thats my "final body" as ive said before once i start to maintain ill change my eating slightly....basically to even more superfoods and more leaning towards eating to increase muscle. When i started this journey....i wrote this on the weight watchers site...."to reclaim my life" ... im now healthy....im no longer worried about going to sleep at nite and either not waking or having a heart attack....whilst still single....im not ashamed to go on a date or to socialise....i am fit and strong....and only going to continue to get fit and stronger...finding clothes to wear is not a issue....im not miserable thinking how my life sucks and nothing good happens to me.....i know good stuff will happen with a positive outlook and by "living life" .... so my goals i have met....but regardless what weight i am....i will always continue to increase my physical abilities...and become stronger and more toned. Its nice to not stress so much over the scales.....im up a kilo this morning....but i know to have gained a kilo of fat i would have had to eat a minimum of a extra 7000 calories....i know i havent done that...so its most likely from day 2 of TOM plus the fact i had a painkiller yesterday.

Im planning to start doing a "accelerator day" like they do on 12WBT....basically the day before weigh in cut out the bread, and weetbix. I am going to try it this weekend on sunday....ill simply have scrambled eggs for breakfast with some shortcut bacon and dry fried mushrooms...so a treat...going out for lunch that day so will just have a chicken salad (no bruschetta for me!!) and then meat and vegies for dinner....will be interested to see how that impacts everything. Apart from that i am sticking to 1300 calories every day except on saturdays dinner is a yiros instead of my normal dinner which puts me about 1500 that day....and wednesday nights for dinner im going for something a lil "flash" (this week its ricotto, walnut and spinach rolled in chicken) which will prolly put me at around 1700 cals....so that i get my high and low cal days but ensuring all clean food still :) Must say i do feel very positive about getting under 80 kilos sooner rather then later!!

Weigh in day :)

2011-11-14T18:36:00.002+10:30

Well the most successful weigh in wayyyyyyyyyyyy over 6 months! Woke up at 3.30am with cramps which I have had on and off all day :( BUT anyway my cycle appeared AND i still scored a loss....woooooooooooooooooo-freaking-hooooooooooooooo!!!! Its way over 6 months since that has happened....fingers crossed i dont gain tomorrow....but wow how exciting :) our bodies sure are crazy contraptions! Anyway so i scored a 1.2 kilos loss....so im down to 81.3 kilos and total loss is 89.6 kilos. Cannot believe how close I am getting to not only 90 kilos lost...But getting under 80 kilos...and also hitting 76 kilos!!!

Its not looking like i will have enough time off over xmas to go to streaky bay for christmas day....so is starting to look like christmas day at home this year :( Anyone who has read my journal for a long time probably remembers i did xmas day alone back in 2008...im not really concerned in some ways it might be the way to go....i can control my food and ensure i dont gain over xmas (i gained 3-4 kilos last xmas) Im not bothered either way...last time this happened i spent the day watching L word all day LOL will just have to ensure I have something entertaining to keep me occupied :)

My trista singlets i have from Lorna Jane (i have 6 of them are really getting too big....the straps are just too long....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!) Will have to go buy more...mite even pick up a couple in size small this week

Ive got a sore neck at the moment which extends into my shoulder blade, ive had it since friday nite....i spoke to my physio briefly tonite about it and she said no kickboxing...i have a appointment tomorrow nite with her so hopefully its something quick and simple and i can get back to normal within a day or two.

My current goal is to get into the 70's by November 25....not sure if i will make it but gotta try right? At the very least i wanna have hit my 90 kilos by then but to be a 70's girl would be awesome!!

Despite my sore neck im at a nice place at the moment....when fiona left the gym....i really did struggle....even tho i know logically i shouldnt have....but she has been a god send....sitting down with me recently and working out a program with me so i can get on with things independantly at the gym and providing support via facebook....and getting that good mindset back is just helping me so much....im feeling much calmer and realising how good things in my life are :)

2011-11-13T11:38:00.003+10:30

People must get sick to death of me saying "great day" haha but yesterday was :) Went out for dinner with the fab ms martine last nite...such a good nite....fabulous food. I rarely eat pasta these days....in fact im pretty sure the last time i did was at my 5 year dinner in early august. So i had bruschetta and then a pasta dish of ravioli with a rose sauce with roasted capsicum and spinach....so freaking yummy! And of course lots of chatting!!! Was really good to see Martine (and ill say it again LOVE that new hair colour ;))

As it was warm last nite it was so nice to be able to go out wearing a lil summer top (check photo in previous post) i was wearing my size 14 boyfriend jeans with lil heels and a size SMALL country road top! :) And its such a cute and flattering lil top...i got it from a second hand store but its going to really get a good working out this summer :)

Exercise wise this should be a really good week...im off next weekend YAY and i finish at 3.30pm everyday except wednesday so this is my plan for the week:

mon : run 1km @ level 8 + 1 hour boxing
tue : run 1km @ level 8 + sprints totalling 1km @ level 10 + body pump
wed : run 1km @ level 8 + sprints totalling 1km @ level 10
thur: running outside
friday: run 1km @ level 8 + sprints totalling 1km @ level 10 + body pump
saturday: balance

Its actually under 9 weeks till the resolution run now and im so far away from even running half of a 7.5km run it aint funny so the running needs to be a bit of a priority at the moment. So the intention is to workout for 6 days this week....and i will again aim for burning 5000 calories...burnt 4200 calories this week so hopefully i will improve on that. And of course the week after I start bootcamp twice a week :)

Ive seen some clothes from Lorna Jane i want! LOL GAWD!!! I am going to have to stay away from that store or i will crumble and cave in lol.

Hoping in the next week or so i will find out whats happening about my xmas leave....would be nice to know if i am spending xmas day in streaky or alone at home! Fingers crossed it all works out.

I was getting dressed this morning...looked at myself side on and was very impressed with my ass! LOL Maybe the jeans are super flattering I am not sure...but i took a side on pic and this view of my ass looks pretty good in my books!

Im watching the movie "snowtown" off to watch a bit more of it...have a good week all!!

progress pic

2011-11-12T23:00:00.002+10:30

My latest progress pic....the one on the left at 170.9 kilos and on the right at 82.1 kilos :)

2011-11-11T19:34:00.001+10:30

The scales went up this morning :( up to 82.2 kilos....wasnt sure why i knew i hadnt done anything wrong....have eaten good....burnt 4200 calories this week so far....then i got the odd cramp today....went back and checked....my cycle was a lot earlier last month (i thought it wasnt due for another 10 days lol) so expecting that to arrive over the next day or two (lovely right before weigh in day!) so suspecting i may end up gaining this week :( but regardless just gotta keep on keeping on. Hopefully i dont go over 83 kilos tho or i may cry LOL But at least i have a indiction why its gone from 81.4 kilos to 82.2 kilos over the last couple of days.

Didnt gym it today...couldnt get there in time for pump so decided i will skip it.

Went thru my wardrobe tonite....pulled out a pile of clothes for Martine....all my Large and Xtra Large Lorna Jane tops gone :( lol im happy now im in smalls...but still i love my lorna jane stuff!! lol

Tomorrow i work then out for dinner with Martine and a day at home on sunday (sooooo looking forward to that sleep in!)

Have a good weekend all!!

Under 82 kilos....third day running :)

2011-11-10T20:21:00.001+10:30

Well the scales jumped up a lil this morning....81.7 kilos to 81.9 kilos. So very minimal gain....still puts me at a loss so far this week of 600 grams so I am more then happy with that :)

Yesterday I popped into the clothing store "Veronika Maine" and found a couple of dresses I liked...one red one and one green one....I was leaning towards the red one and then the store rang me today to tell me the dress had been reduced in price by 30%!! So after the gym today I went and got it....and its now MINE hehe. I liked it in the store but bringing it home and trying it on with my strapless bra...just LOVE it!

Yesterday ended up being a huge exercise day ... I did pump and balance at lunchtime....both classes were 45 minutes long....then that afternoon i did a hour of boxing (omg such a hard workout!) and then a 45 minute cycling class. Burnt over 1800 calories....was a huge exercise day. Today I went into the gym....and fiona came and nudged me along while on the treadmill...ive been doing the plan this week me and her worked out last week. And the goal for the week was to run at a speed of 10 at the end of the week. The idea was to run a full kilometre at a speed of 10 but i knew i just couldnt do that lol. So I ran a total of 1 kilometre broken up with sprints of between 150 metres and 300 metres....OMG trust me the 300 metre one KILLED me....my chest/lungs have never ached like that before. LOL But I did it.....so this week coming.....each day I go to the gym I need to do a 1km run at level 8 and 3 times during the week run a total of 1km at level 10 in sprints. PHEW im tired even thinking about it! LOL Lucky for me i was suppose to finish work at 5.30pm next week but someone wanted late starts every day but wednesday so i managed to get 3.30pm finishes monday, tuesday, thursday and friday. Which means for the next 4 weeks the latest i finish is 4pm which is brilliant for the gym (well except wednesday)

I work saturday this weekend then no weekend work for the next 3 weeks :) YAY!!! Saturday night I am off out for dinner with Martine...and sunday im not doing a bloody thing apart from some housework and washing....i need a day at home lol.

Ive also started to look into getting a website up for me to get my name out there for motivational speaking....only in the very beginning stages...but EXCITING!!

2011-11-08T21:11:00.001+10:30

GREAT day today :) Woke up and the scales said 81.7 kilos!! woooooooooooo hooooooooooo so ecstatic about that :)

I went and returned the orange dress :( now I need to find another one....not too much luck in that department just yet. Will go looking again on sunday.

Went to the gym did my stairs and I discoverred the gym had cancelled the tuesday lunchtime boxing class :( So instead there was zumba....yeh im really not a huge fan of zumba. Next time i have a tuesday off i will go a lil later and do body combat instead. Then tonite i went outside and for a hour or so did some running sprints and some step ups and tricep dips etc....i burnt over 1300 calories today :) go me!!! So have burnt 1862 cals so far this week. Tomorrow is going to be a huge exercise day...pump and balance at lunch....and then hour of boxing and cycle class in the evening. I would expect by the end of tomorrow i will be over 3000 calories burnt.

Im also starting to put into place some plans for some goals for 2012....i would really like to start to get my name out there for motivational speaking so starting to plan for a website to help advertise....maybe nothing will come of it but nothing ventured nothing gained. As i have always said i want to "pay it forward" and ill be doing my best to do that.

Not much else to say...super tired tonite....

Weigh in day :)

2011-11-07T20:19:00.000+10:30

So thats my new top! I had to get the Lorna Jane angels to ship it to me as they didnt have a size SMALL in the rundle street store (and the medium was massive on me). I love it! I was thinking after i tried it on how was only in June i got my first Lorna Jane top.....that was in a size XL...that top is huge on me now...and am actually giving it to Martine. Its funny over the last 6 weeks or so ive changed my clothes a bit i wear to the gym...i always wore baggy clothes....then one day in PT Fiona said to me...you need to wear tighter clothes that you dont fuss around with all the time. So i started finding more fitted tops....initially i felt so self conscious in them as they werent huge tops which i thought covered my tummy but now im not bothered....and i am pulling at my tops very little in the gym :)

Today was weigh in day....I lost 500 grams YAY. So i am now down to 82.5 kilos :) So the aim is to be 81.9 kilos by next week...fingers crossed!

Couldnt get to the gym till 6pm tonight...did boxing...such a good class....I really like that she introduces new CRAZY stuff...there was 1 legged burpees which i didnt even bother to try....but there was another where u are in a lunge position....twist towards the boxing bag and jab....that was rather cool. Burnt 340 calories in 30 minutes so not bad at all. Tomorrow i am returning THE dress in the morning and will hopefully buy another one....then 1km run, jog up the 14 flights of stairs....do a boxing class....and then a bit later body pump. That should have me burning well over 1000 calories.

Its a bit strange to think I am only 6.5 kilos from the top of the healthy weight range. Ive decided soon as I fit into size 12 pants more then not....at whatever i am at that weight ill start to maintain and hopefully work on building some muscle to help with the skin issue.

Back to calorie cycling..

2011-11-06T18:28:00.001+10:30

Well thats it...working my one full weekend every 5 weeks is done again for a few more weeks (thank goodness!) I have tuesday, wednesday and sunday this week off and then I am back to my normal routine thankfully. So YAY!!

This morning I was back at 83 kilos....the good news is after 6 weeks or so of gaining approx 2 kilos then losing 2 kilos as last week i lost 1.7 kilos....and was 83 kilos last week....it looks like im headed for a stay the same or very small gain or loss...which is a improvement. Ive decided to change a few things this week....most of my eating is really good, this is a average day:

breakfast - 2 weetbix and milk with 1 tablespoon of chia seeds
snack - 1 banana with 15 grams tahini
lunch - sandwich with burgen weight management bread with 50 grams of ham or turkey and mayonaisse and salad
snack - brookfarm muesli bar (these have no artificial crap in them....only bad thing is rice syrup)
dinner - 150-180 grams raw protein with vegetables (mushrooms, capsicums, onions, brocolli etc) with 30 grams feta cheese
On days i exercise and burn over 500 grams i will treat myself a freddo frog as well

So as you can see I dont eat heaps....thats around 1300 cals before i have the freddo. I dont want to eat less then I am....last week I only exercised twice but i burnt over 1000 cals each of those days...I dont think eating less is the answer but maybe eating slightly differently is. So with that said....I am going to go back to calorie cycling and see how that works for a bit....so will be:

monday 1200
tuesday 1700
wednesday 1300
thursday 1600
friday 1300
saturday 1500
sunday 1200

So ive plugged in my food for tomorrow....1166 cals for the day....i cant get to the gym till 6pm tomorrow nite...will do boxing class then and also run up the 14 flights of stairs. I wont do the run tho as fiona wanted me to do that when fresh and I cant manage to do it before boxing. I struggled to do it at a speed of 8 on friday when fresh so ill leave it till tuesday when I have the day off and can do it before the lunchtime boxing class :) My homework was to run 1km at a speed of 10 within the week LOL i really cant see it happening....but ill do my darnedest to do it. I dont know why I hadnt clicked that I havent been doing the calorie cycling so thats prolly had something to do with the plateau as my body has always responded so well with the cycling. So fingers crossed for this week :)

2011-11-05T16:28:00.000+10:30

Things seem to be on the upward especially mentally. I feel much better today and bonus when i weighed in this morning i was 82.8 kilos.....i may actually manage a loss this week which would be the first time in prolly 2 months where it would be two weeks running which would be good (altho I accept at this stage it may be a lot of weeks of up/down/up/down. So if I manage to weigh in at 82.8 kilos on monday it would be a loss of 200 grams....nothing massive...but it would be a step in the right direction.

It was good talking to the pump trainer after pump yesterday too, as I am TRYING to get into running....and I was telling her this....she gave me some recommendations in relation to eating and even to some training closer to the event :)

Worked today. I work one full weekend out of every 5. Next weekend I work saturday only. So saturday is done. So only another 2 days and I will have 2 days off ....yay freaking yay since i only had one day off this week. As im working till 5pm this week I cant get to HEAPS of the classes....i can make a boxing one on monday night....and pump tuesday night...and boxing and cycle on wednesday night....but as i cant make any thursday,friday and saturday i mite do some extra classes on tuesday and wednesday. Could go in and do boxing at lunch time on tuesday....and pump and balance on wednesday lunchtime...but that may be too much on one day...decisions decisions.

Not much else going on....quiet nite at home tonight since i am working in the morning...a yiros and some retro tv sounds like the plan for me!

I had what struck me as a weird comment on facebook yesterday....I was mentioning that I need to get thru my head that Im a size small in LJs tops these days and a friend commented that i am "lucky", hate to say it peeps lucky didnt come into it at all! Plenty of work and maybe some luck in finding the right support system, and finding a good gym etc.....but 90% of my success has been purely from hard work. I use to look at slim people or people with nice figures and think "lucky buggar" and sure for some with good genetics etc they are lucky....but i think thats a minority there are more people that are slimmer who live healthily then arent from what I see.

Okay time to scoot home....have a good night all!

Friday :)

2011-11-04T21:20:00.000+10:30

Good day today! Ive decided since my calorie burn when i finally get my ass to the gym is quite high these days...the days i exercise ill eat 1500 cals and non exercise days 1400 cals (biggest loser site claims i can eat 1600 cals and still lose weight) So i was under my 1500 cals today :) I did my first day of my program that me and fiona came up with...so first thing i had to do was run 1km....was only on level 8 but geezus thought i was going to freaking die! Honestly didnt even think i would last the whole kilometre initially...then i went sat up my pump step then went and jogged up the stairs. So its 7 flights...fiona has told me to go as hard as I can on the first set of 7 flights and then try and beat myself on the second round of 7 flights. So i did this last nite....after having done nothing....first flight was 3mins3sec and second round was 3mins1sec.....tonite....after having just ran the 1km (and trust me i was buggered!) first round i did 2mins41seconds....and second round....i did 2mins41seconds!!! So i didnt beat it but considering how tired i was and ive been avoiding the stairs and running the last month or so....im pretty impressed with that :) I then went and did body pump which is a 60 minute class. Im still doing the higher weights. Currently im doing 6.25kilos on each end of the bar in the squat track but im going to try on tuesday to do 7.5 kilos on each end. I think the lunge track i can also try and increase from 5 kilos on each end to 6.25kilos. The other next one to increase would be the back track....but.....when i was on long service leave i tried 6.25 kilos on each end and i really struggled to lift that above my head and it hurt my back....so while 5 kilos seems fine for the back track at the moment (maybe it even feels a bit easy) ill increase the squat and lunge track this week....and then maybe try to increase the back track the week after. The shoulder,bicep,chest and tricep track im a bit of a weakling with and only doing 3.75 kilos and especially that darn shoulder and bicep track i really struggle. Anyway so i burnt 1094 cals in just under 2 hours today....considering a hour of that was pump, so weight work i am pretty impressed with that. After pump the trainer pulled me aside and asked me how i was going motivation wise now fiona isnt at the gym, we talked about that a lil she basically just told me to throw myself into classes, and she has run marathons before so we talked a lil bit about running. And she just told me a few things she recommends....its good tho how supportive the gym is :)

The other thing I have noticed is my bicep muscle seems to be changing shape a lil. I really noticed it after the bicep track....it seems fuller....rounder....prolly first time a body part of mine has been "fuller" and I am happy about it ;)

THEN i signed up for bootcamp....so thats it i am committed to it now. So that starts on the 22nd for 5 weeks....and thats on tuesday and thursday night....so fingers crossed i survive that!

I wore one of my Lorna Jane tops i bought yesterday today. Super cute tank top....size medium....but ive now realised its TOO BIG!!! No more medium sized tank tops i think from LJ....only small sizes! Its still wearable ill just need to have to wear another singlet under it but DAYAM!! I did buy a hoodie from them yesterday too...it is a medium but it fits me perfectly....a hoodie being a lil loose is fine.

Anyway no more gym till monday as I am working all weekend :( Might have to try and go for a long walk tomorrow nite after dinner instead or chuck on one of Jillians DVDs :)

Nitemare too...found out one of the other girls at work bought the same dress as me :( so its going back! One of the others i tried on and liked I will prolly get....it was cheaper too! lol

Im backkkkkkkkkkk!!!

2011-11-03T19:51:00.002+10:30

Well im back! I know I had some "negative nancy" posts previously up...(over the weekend i think?) but i had deleted them. Not so much cos i was upset by them or anything but i feel a responsibility for people to see this CAN be done...and whilst i think its important people see its not all smooth sailing for me...i didnt think repetition upon repetition of negativity was appropriate.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....I couldnt initially work out why i was being so negative and why i had, had enuff of this weight loss....i figured some of it may be related to fiona having left the gym and me going from 3 PT sessions per week down to having do things by myself. I know a lot of people had said to me "why dont u get another trainer" but im just not interested in going down that path, for a variety of reasons. Fiona was actually my 4th trainer...I had 3 other trainers before her and dont desire going thru that process again to find the right trainer, when I have sat down and worked it out I have spent over $20,000 over the last 3 years on my weight loss. Now I dont regret it for a second, it was a sacrifice i was more then willing to make, but I really dont want to pay so much for the gym anymore. Who knows what the future holds....but right now another trainer isnt a path I am going to go down. Following a few conversations with Fiona over the last week or so over facebook....I started to realise a lot of this was simply down to my self belief....I struggle to think I can do this on my own. Anyway so I caught up with fiona at the gym tonite.....and we sat down for a hour or so and talked. The gym is having a bootcamp which is for 5 weeks and starts on November 22, we discussed this at length and I am now leaning towards doing it....all comes down to confidence for me...so i will speak to the gym next week about it...fiona doesnt think its out of my ability, so if i go ahead with that, that will be tuesday and thursday nights at 6.30pm. The good thing about that is its a "appointment"....a committment at the gym which i need to attend. And i need those committments.

We then worked out a program for the week....so class wise what we decided is this :

mon - boxing
tues - pump
wed - boxing (when i can make it on time) + cycle class
thur - running
fri - body pump
sat - balance

As well as the classes.....5 days a week i have to run up the stairs (7 flights) twice....and i have to time them and on the second round improve on my time. And this week I have to run 1km 5 days a week...starting at a speed of 8 and working up to 10 (eek!) by the end of the week. But i feel much better as i have goals now. I feel a lot better now as I have goals and things I need to do! Fiona photocopied the plan and I am sure if I dont mention doing it on facebook she will be kicking my ass! So no excuses ;)

I bought my cocktail dress today! Its SUCH a girl dress!! I tried on 5 dresses....3 I really liked, the other 2 were black and so I decided that was a bit boring ;) Its a burnt orange colour with a black tie....here is a bit of a snap of it...not a great photo....but you get the idea

I then wandered to bras and things to get a strapless bra....so had a proper fitting.....5 years ago 26E (altho i was prolly bigger then that and was just wearing overstretched bras) today i am a 14D....which seems tiny to me....but yanno if they got rid of the excess skin id prolly only be a C cup lol. I also got some tummy sucker undies as well and then as they were having a buy 2 get the 3rd item free sale....i got some cute pj bottoms too :)

I then went down to lorna jane....and well....ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...... *whistles*.....$420 later!!! LOL I bought a hoodie, a purple singlet from their LJ black range, a pammy crop, a white singlet with a pammy crop installed, a laundry bag for washing, couple of pairs of socks and also the MOST to die for top! It is spearmint green so pretty....gorgeous material....i tried it on in a medium....but the medium was too big....so have organised with them to get a small and post it out to me i should recieve it next week. And cos I had spent so much I got a free mandy t shirt....and also im a VIW member now which means 10% off all my purchases until June next year :)

Then as i was purchasing them the girls are telling me that Lorna Jane is releasing a new book...i was like yeh im in it....so they were asking about that.....then they were like....Lorna Jane is coming to the store on December 2....we will organise for you to personally meet her :) So they are going to call me before then to arrange that :)

So my bank balance isnt so keen on today! LOL But my mind and sanity is !!! The other good news? I was 82.9 kilos this morning......slowly....slowly....................

Weight in day etc etc :)

2011-10-24T12:32:00.001+10:30

Well a bit has happened over the last few days!

Saturday night I went out to the Golden Dance. Must admit I looked kinda cute lol (really did i say that?) i was in a strappy size small top and my size 14 boyfriend jeans and some lil heels and knew I was looking pretty good. Anyway I turned up....Jo was there with a friend of hers....she introduces me and says "see told you she is beautiful" *rolls eyes* anyway....her friend stayed for a while and then left....by this time I had had a glass of wine .....and we got into a pretty indepth conversation about what happened between us....i told her i am not a fan of how she behaves at times when she is around her friends and that in all honesty I suspected she was going to end up going back to her ex and didnt think we were on the same page in relation to feelings. And i felt that I was going to end up hurt. She was surprised I think to hear what my thoughts had been and that I didnt really think that she was interested in me more then just a friend. She told me she believes there is a attraction between us and that she wants us to catch up for dinner etc more. What that all means? I have no idea! LOL This is the issue with someone who isnt quite ready to move on to a new relationship i guess....so at this stage....who knows....we will catch up...we will go to feast....and i guess we will wait and see what happens. Im just gonna be cautious.....cos if things are never going to progress then we need to not discuss attractions or whatever....but at the same time if things MIGHT progress then i guess i need to give her the time to realise she can trust me. Anyway time will tell I guess.

Yesterday I helped mum with her garage sale and ended up taking a pile of stuff home ;) My sister in law whose house is really nicely decored had some chocolate and cream cushions she was selling and I have a chocolate brown lounge suite so I got that....and then she also had a off white long haired rug...so thats in my lounge room too now....looks really good :) Off mum I nabbed a funky yellow teapot and a tea canister....so next weekend I will venture off to the tea shop to try and find some green tea i like.

Today I have woken up flu-ish :( Im feeling a bit better than this morning, staying tucked up in bed with bad daytime tv and guzzling water...so no gym tonight :( but I just wanna feel better...so no stressing over missing a workout.

I did weigh in and gained a kilo...on the plus side after my bad eating last week i had got up to 85.8 kilos but was down to 85.2 kilos....but enough of the self sabotage....i need to get under 83 kilos and stay under there (one step at a time). Waiting patiently to hear when the gym announces the boot camp....the manager told me would start mid november so surely they have to advertise it soon! The other thing is I really need to start focusing on this running thing ugh! lol

Much, more positive day :)

2011-10-22T23:50:00.001+10:30

Funny the difference a few days can make :) Thursday I was feeling very self defeated and was seriously thinking I cannot do this anymore....friday i didnt do much better mentally but foodwise i got my act together. By the end of friday I had pretty much come to a couple of conclusions, one i was lacking the confidence I can reach goal. Ive said it time and time again that when things get hard I have a habit of running away/giving up. My initial goal was "merely" to get to 76 kilos. And yes I have been slowly losing, chipping away for five years....but now its kinda like crunch time. Its like if I trained for a marathon....did awesome with the training....started the marathon....and then a mile or so away from the finish line I started to self sabotage myself and lose focus. Like i could see the finishing line....but I dont know if I can physically make it....so instead of focusing and working my best at crossing that marathon finishing line in my head its kinda easier to go...yeh running to just this point is enough....and giving up....cos thats not failing right? I decided that this was the weight I am happy to stay at. But in all honesty that is failing...failing myself. I have really self sabotaged myself lately....yep the scales havent moved much (just bouncing aorund a 2 kilo range) but my body fat has dropped significantly (over 7% over the last 6 weeks) the exercise is really doing its job....but if i didnt self sabotage myself with food I prolly would have been under 80 kilos by now.

So today I woke determined to have a good day and try my hardest! This morning I went to the gym....worked out for 3 hours :) Did a hour of body pump, a hour of body balance and then a hour of different exercises Fiona showed me before she left the gym. Burnt 1350 calories which I was pretty impressed with considering I didnt do any cardio. Surrounded by positive people at the gym and I managed to get my focus back on track :)

Then this afternoon I went with Ryan and his partner Vince, to a farewell drinks at one of the locals here. Was lovely sitting out in the sunshine! Ryan leaves for India on Monday and just flew in from Italy and Rome (his life is hard eh?) so was really good to catch up with him!

Then tonight I went to a dance....caught up with Jo who I dated earlier in the year. Was interesting ;) We had a bit of a deep and meaningful chat about a few things....anyway at this stage we have decided we will go to some things at feast next month (the gay & lesbian festival here in Adelaide) I did splash out and have a glass of wine tonight....put me 40 calories over for the day but considering how much I burnt today I dont think that is a issue ;) and probably why me and Jo had such a conversation LOL

When at the pub this arvo Ryan told me he thinks I should write a book. He isnt the first person to suggest it....but maybe the first person I took a lil seriously....and I think if its something I am going to do....its something I really need to do now as come June next year when i AM at goal my focus will need to be on my studies to become a personal trainer...so am giving it some thought....some serious thought...time will tell :)

When we were at the pub today....i was just wearing a lil singlet and Ryan and Vince were like,,,,you can really see the definition in your arms now....wooo hoooo made my day!

2011-10-20T20:55:00.000+10:30

Someone made a comment on my facebook today which of course i cannot find now....where they were saying "your journey....you control it" it was basically about what I was discussing in my previous post about the diet coke.

When I went on long service leave in late may....i set some goals.....i wanted to reach 81 kilos at least...but the ultimate goal i was going for was 77 kilos. When i returned to work i was about 83 kilos....this morning i was 84.5 kilos. Admittedly over the last month i have got down to 82.7 kilos and the highest has been 84.6 kilos (i think) Dealing with work and temptations has definitely been hard. In the 4 days of this week so far...two days they had mud chocolate cake (free just sitting on a table in the cafe) and then today we had a thing on at the entertainment centre with nibbles and drinks afterwards. I am definitely one of those people who eats one thing wrong and thinks .... okay thats stuffed today up. So when these temptations happen at work I have some of whatever is on offer and by the time i get home im thinking stuff it. UGH. I try to have some of these options....cos i dont want to be the person who people think "she lives on rabbit food" (even tho i know thats far from the truth) So anyway today has not been a good food day :( I suspect I may be 86 kilos in the morning....having the new food coach....I think she is great....and a lot of the foods she has been having me eat I really enjoy and I know is incredibly healthy for me. She basically looks at my food diary each week....and knowing my health issues she makes suggestions to help with these. I know the foods she has suggested have helped me as my cycle was so much better this month....but at the same time I need to balance sticking to it.....getting satisfaction from not feeling hungry and eating enough to ensure I get my calorie deficit in but eating enough to sustain my exercise. I think I need to take on 70% off what she has told me but I need to ensure I dont feel too restricted.

I havent been tracking this week....in fact since my biggest loser club membership expired i havent tracked much....the calorie king is the biggest pain in the ass website....its so slow its not funny....and it doesnt give as good visual overview of the breakdown of my nutrients. So I renewed my membership tonite. So will start tracking again in the morning. I am going to keep it under 1400 calories. I mean even if I am 86 kilos in the morning it is still only 7 kilos to be a "70's girl" surely if I knuckle down....stick to 1400 calories a day....burn a minimum of 2800 calories a week (i usually reach this easily - put it this way....in 3 days im over 2200 calories already....and by saturday afternoon ill probably be at around 3700 calories burnt) and say no to all work treats....i possibly could be a 70's girl by xmas. As to the diet coke dilemma....Im undecided....whilst I know its not good for you...and the long term damage it can do to your health....I do feel it assists me with my weight loss....and I guess I am leaning towards....when at goal I can cut the diet coke out (as i would have my calories to eat so wouldnt need the satisfaction i get from diet coke).

In relation to personal training....i need to accept the way things are now and get over it all i think. The doing weights by myself I will never get as much out of them as I did with fiona....i know that....its one of the reasons i do classes as i suck at motivating myself and one of the reasons why for me doing PT 3 times a week was necessary for me, especially in the beginning. I need to attend as many classes as I can. As many of the hard classes....doing classes like sh'bam i dont really believe do a whole lot for me....but doing boxing, cycle and pump are probably the ones I need to focus on attending. Step would be a great class today....fitness wise i can cope with step perfectly fine altho its a definite workout but my co-ordination sucks! One of the few times I did step i trod on someones foot cos i was behind my step instead of in front of it and so the poor woman behind me copped my great hoof on hers....and i think thats whats put me off a lot.

Anyway tomorrow is a new day.....really need to get my head screwed on right....or Im gonna end up blowing everything Ive worked the last 5 years for.

Struggling

2011-10-20T09:10:00.000+10:30

I am struggling a lil at the moment, with numerous aspects of this whole weight loss. The no diet coke is not helping lol...with me and diet coke...when I am peckish especially after dinner i will have a diet coke. And not having the diet coke and the fact i dont drink tea or coffee....if i want something to tide me over calorie free...im stuck with water or water or water. After drinking 3 litres of water per day....im over water by dinner time. There is a huge part of me that wants to go back to having my diet coke cos weight loss wise i think it actually assists. Health wise I realise its not good for me.....but kinda at the moment i guess im in the headspace where weight loss is the priority for me.

So yes I have picked after dinner and found myself hungry mid afternoon. I changed a few things (swapped 12 cashews in the afternoon to some natural yoghurt, chia seeds, manuka honey and blueberries) but that works out a lot more calories. Admittedly its food full of nutrients but as im still trying to lose weight i need to be wary with my calories. Which is where the diet coke comes in....if i ate just my 12 cashews and a diet coke im sure i would be satisfied.

Also still adjusting to no fiona....that one is hard...i have been gymming and have been each day this week and burnt a good number of calories. But there is that worry there....obviously working with fiona what we have done has worked....my body has changed a lot and ive got the results i want. I am worried that this isnt going to continue. But that one is something i need to work out on my own i think. I am trying to do pump 2-3 times a week so hopefully it will help...i just dont think it will have the impact fionas weight sessions had.

I think Im also worried of "failing" and so keep thinking...oh just maintain....then im not failing right? Pretty much going back into my normal thinking. So im not going to try and just "maintain" im still going to work at getting the numbers down. Hopefully sooner or later I will get closer to 80 kilos then 83 kilos.

Still busting ass at the gym and working hard!

2011-10-18T21:42:00.000+10:30

I was in pump today....doing some stretch where you touch your hands to the floor and couldnt help notice my stomach....no matter what the stomach doesnt seem to be going away (confirmed via the stair climb photos) and i couldnt help but instantly wonder "how the hell did i let myself get into this situation" Of course my situation these days is so much better then it was 5 years ago....but theres some damage that i will never be able to undo. And i guess thats one thing....you can only do this weight loss journey when you are ready....ready to commit and have the right headspace. But the one thing i always say is dont waste time like I did....I realise I did this when I was ready but wow i wish i had done it 20 years ago...not only cos I have wasted the last 20 years of my life...but also the damage to the skin and what will be "left over" may not have been as bad.

Found out at lunchtime today a friend was taken to hospital....and then work was putting on cake.... no guesses who in her stressful moment turned to a huge piece of gooey chocolate cake.... :( very glad a certain someone is better and released from hospital now.

This morning the scales had dropped by 100 grams but after chocolate cake today who knows what the scales will do tomorrow! lol I did burn 838 calories today. Jogged up 14 flights of stairs, then did running intervals for 1.5km ( funny how when you run at 9.5km then doing a interval of speed of 8 feels like a walk in the park lol) I then went and did pump. After hurting my hand a lil last nite...i was concerned as my hand has been cramping intermittently today....but i was perfectly fine with pump. Only thing was I think maybe my back is not destined to go too high a weights in the back track. Second time ive tried increasing the weights and my back hasnt liked it. Last time i tried to increase it to 6.25 on each end of the bar and i thought i was gonna kill myself that day! LOL Tonite i just had 5kilos on each end and i can still feel it....so will go back to 3.75 kilos on each end and leave it at that weight for a while.

The photos were taken for the fernwood magazine today....they are planning the story for the January issue.:) Was funny I walked thru the gym with my hair all rockstar like and my make up on etc lol and got numerous comments from staff LOL must say i was more then eager to chuck my hair in a ponytail and get into my workout gear....weird being at the gym dressed up LOL. I saw the pics tho and they look good. They said again they will be putting my photo up on the gym wall for weight loss and also doing the book thing they wanna do that they will have sitting in the members area so people can view it when sitting around or for new members :)

Weigh in day :)

2011-10-17T20:45:00.001+10:30

Weigh in day today....and I am happy with a gain ;) For the last 4 months or so....the first 3 days of my cycle i have gained each day...Day 1 i would gain about 500 grams....Day 2 about 1.5 kilos and Day 3 200-300 grams. Day 1 this time NO GAIN (insert a big yay here!) then Day 2 I did gain 1.1 kilos....but the good thing is yesterday I ate hot chips so I know quite a chunk (if not all) of the gain is sodium related. Will be very interesting to see if I gain in the morning. Anyway when I explained to my food coach (she has been altering my eating slightly to help balance my hormones, encourage calcium absorption and increase my iron levels. I am feeling like I have more energy and I feel "happier" and she did comment today a lot of the foods I am eating now do help with depression so its all good :)

So....I gained 700 grams but overall I am very happy with that :) My body fat did another drop!!! YAY!!! So the scales have been very up and down over the last 8 weeks or so but over the last 5 weeks my body fat has dropped from over 38% to down to 31.2% so thats quite a dramatic drop and its dropping consistently. My food coach also said today "your not far off your goal of 76 kilos" to which I told her I want to lose more then that now...I wanna go down to 68 kilos lol. She has basically said....lets get to 76 kilos....you celebrate that and we tick that off then we will look at the next step. So thats it the focus is back to 76 kilos (her chart said 76 is the top of the healthy weight range not 77 kilos....so we will go with that!)

At the gym tonight I did running intervals for 1km and then a 30 minute boxing class. Man those boxing classes are full on! I burnt 440 calories in 30 minutes which for me is damn awesome. So I worked out for 47 minutes and burnt 591 calories so quite impressed with that. Ive organised that from next week on I will do my food coach session at 6.45pm which means I can always make it. And will also mean most weeks I can make Body Combat as well. Tomorrow going to run 1.5km intervals, 2km on the rower, 2 lots of stairs (14 flights) and then body pump. I also am having my photo taken for the Fernwood Magazine tomorrow :)

Enjoy your night all....think its going to be a early one for me!!!

2011-10-16T20:21:00.001+10:30

Spend the day with my favourite blonde Jaimee today - we had such a good girls day out :) Out for lunch first then we went into town. Our work christmas show is coming up at the end of next month and the dress for it is "cocktail" and after being employed for 10.5 years and NEVER having gone to it...I AM going this year. So the first issue was discoverring what "cocktail dress" actually meant LOL (gawd Ive lived under a rock!) We then went to Myers and I tried on about 12 dresses. All designer labels..... ooo la la ....Anthea crawford, cooper, review. Below is a pic of the dress I liked the most....

This dress really looked good on me.....(yes I honestly said that!) it was the perfect length....and I didnt look huge in it. I would love to wear a strapless or thin strappy one but may not find one I like like that at the right length. So after Melbourne Cup Day we will do another shopping day to buy the dress and shoes and no doubt push up bra haha ;)

I had a no doubt high in sodium lunch and TOM started today but surprisingly i had no gain this morning! (usually day 1 i will gain about 500 grams and about a 1.5 kilo gain on day 2) As i did have a high sodium meal I no doubt will gain but if its only a kilo or so I will be wrapped as for the last 3-4 months i have gained a minimum of 2 kilos.....so I am thinking the changes my food coach has made are helping. The aim was to help balance the hormones to help with the PCOS and also increase my protein to help with my low iron stores.

Ive cooked a leg of pork tonight....so this week when I get home from the gym I can just do the vegetables and slice up the meat....yay nice easy and quick dinners this week :)

I put together a lil workout today which I am going to do at the gym this week....ive popped it on my ipod so i know what I need to do. The first half of it i will do several times during the week doing it two times over....then on friday nite i will do the whole thing. It should take me just over a hour to do the whole lot I think so will be good for those nites I can make it to the gym but cant make it in time for a class I like...so here it is:

1.5km running intervals + the stairs twice + 2km on rower

leg press - starting at 60 kilos
LAT pull down - starting at 30 kilos
pull ups on smith machine
20 pushups
leaning on bench on elbows doing mountain climber type exercise
bosu ball upside down 20 squats
bosu ball right way up balance on one leg (3 mins each side)
steps on step holding hand weights (start at 8 kilos or 10 kilos?)
20 squats using the yellow kettle bells

^^^ Several times this week I will do the above twice thru and on friday I will do the entire workout

practice wacky weights stuff

Its basically a mixture of stuff I did with Fiona over the last few months and Ive just taken some leg and chest stuff and mixed it up with some cardio, as well as some of the exercises I need to do to help with strengthening my ankles :)

Am looking at doing the Resolution Run in January,,,,,its a 7,5km walk/run....obviously walking it would be no issue it would be super cool to be able to run even some of it (say half). I knew next year I would want to start to focus on this running stuff so think I am going to focus on it a lot sooner! LOL. Firstly I need to get the go-ahead from my physio....she has basically allowed me to run up to 1.5km only at a time....so may need to book in and get a full assessment done again and see if she thinks I can start to run further.

Back into it :)

2011-10-15T16:46:00.001+10:30

I was thinking today...these posts that open with "such a good day" etc are getting rather boring opening lines! The problem is life is so good lately I cant really complain about too much ;)

Today of course was gym day...I worked out for over 3 hours! After doing pump last nite i did pump again today. Our instructor said last nite...if your going to look at increasing your weights do it for the first 3 tracks after the warm up....so i did increase to 6.25 kilos on each end of the bar for squats....and 3.75kilos on each end for the chest track...I really should have increased up to 5 kilos on each end of the bar for the back track but my arms were aching and I knew I had long workout ahead of me. Still happy i increased for those 2 tracks. Must say as much as i dislike the lunge track i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the song. Just discovered its Grenade by Jason Born will have to try and get the song for my ipod. Anyway after pump then did balance...so impressed that i maintained balance whilst doing "dancers pose" :) Then I did some ball work etc...so worked out for over 3 hours....pretty damn awesome. I burnt 1483 calories...not bad considering that pretty much none of that was cardio! Must admit after pump two days running my thighs are sore already! lol

I then went and got the ole eyebrows waxed (chickened out of the IPL but discussed it with the manager at the beauty salon...ill get it done in 2 weeks time)...then went off to target. Ive been wearing size 18 jeans and they are too big for me. I was walking out the grocery store the other day....my hands full....and the jeans were falling down and even the knickers werent doing too great! LOL...so thought it was time. When I was in plus sizes the only jeans style i could ever find was bootleg jeans...i dislike them now....my size 18s were skinny jeans I rather liked them, anyway went shopping and was bootleg jeans everywhere UGH! But I did manage to find a pair of "boyfriend" jeans in size 14....and they fit! So damn happy. I thought size 12 would be the most I could ever get down too....starting to think ultimately MAYBE size 10's. I then wandered down to Lorna Jane (entering this store is always dangerous! lol) The "trista" singlets I bought last week I LOVE...been wearing them all the time....so i went and bought another 3 in different colours. So i now have a grey one, pink, fluro yellow, purple, apricot and blue! LOL Plus I also bought my first "inspirational" singlet....its baby pink and aptly says "never give up"....might take a pic of me in it later in my new jeans :)

So really good day all round....i think ill be in bed early tonite tho! Must say im looking forward to a relaxing nite...enjoy your saturday all :)

Westpac Stair Climb

2011-10-14T22:33:00.002+10:30

Such a good day today. Was up bright and early as I had a termite inspection of my unit....that was no dramas. Went into town and bought my new heart rate monitor....i was initially not sure if I had made the right choice but now I have figured it all out i am more then happy with it!!! Will be interested to see how the calories burnt work out tomorrow. Tomorrow im planning to do body pump and body balance.

I went op shopping today...got some great items...several size "small" and some size 10 tops. I bought a couple of size 14 jeans too...one pair did up....but they were a bit short....but im sure once i slim down a bit more they will fit me better. Some of the brands i got were portmans, madison studio (this is a size 8 obviously a big size 8!),witchery. susan,espirit

We then went off to do the Westpac Stair Climb. I did it in 8 mins 58 secs....im rather impressed with that time! It really wasnt as hard as I expected...I meant dont get me wrong i was puffing as i was going up the stairs....but when i compare it back to 4 months ago when i would run and hit that 3 minute mark and just be struggling to breathe.....it wasnt like that and it was easier then I expected. I recovered really quickly as well! So more then happy with it. And sooooooooooo glad I spent so much time especially over the last few months running up those bloody stairs at the gym lol. I was thinking maybe my stair running days were over till Fiona reminded me how much it has improved my running....and since i really wanna get the running thing going i think i will still at least run up 7 flights of stairs each time I go to the gym. (maybe 14?)

I then went home...picked up food for dinner.....then headed back to the gym and did a 60 minute body pump class. At the start of the class i was sitting on my step....and i must have had my arm sitting at just the right angle...cos i noticed in the mirror could really notice the muscle (altho i did have some sagging skin! ugh I think when I get to goal I really am gonna have to focus on building bigger muscles in those arms of mine)

I then went to the health food store and picked up some foods recomended from the superfoods seminar i went too....munuka honey, goji berries, mint dark chocolate and hulled tahini (ive been having unhulled tahini cos thats all I could get at the time) I then came home....and cooked up marinated steak...then i cooked in a pan with some olive oil, chunks of tomato, asparagus and brocolini and then i sprinkled 1/2 tablespoon of parmassan cheese over it....and i ate it all...super impressed with me!!!

Tomorrow its gym....time to get my routine going again. Have a good weekend all :)

Thats Life!

2011-10-12T19:49:00.002+10:30

First up heres scan from the magazine article!

Its been a amazing day! My sister rang me at 7am...she already had her copy. I managed to snag one before work, Im really happy with it, even the photo. Being the self critical wench i can be i can still find fault lol but overall i could look at the pic and think "im so glad im that gal" My facebook has gone crazy today....lots of people have shared the scan and I hope I have managed to find every post where people shared it and thanked them for that :) Yanno I have always known I have quite a bit of support for my weight loss but i dont think i realised just how much till today. Its been amazing :)

On the scales this morning I dropped down to 82.9 kilos! woot! so exciting!!! And i even dressed up for work a lil today (wasnt going to the gym after work after all), my lil size 10 top...unfortunately tho i was wearing my size 18 jeans and they have really got to the point of they need throwing out...going to go get some new jeans this weekend.

Tonight for dinner as a treat I made a home made pizza on pita bread....had turkey, spinach, semi dried tomatos, capsicum,mushrooms, feta cheese and pineapple. So dayam yumm!!! I havent made pizza like that for a few years.

Ive decided this year to go to works xmas party....after 10 years with the company I have never been to one xmas show. This year its at the entertainment centre...and the dress is "cocktail" so guess who needs to go buy a cocktail dress? Me and jaimee are even thinking about getting hotel rooms to spoil us just a teeny bit more! All exciting....even just last xmas i prolly would have struggled with finding a suitable dress...hopefully I can find a dress I love!!

Tomorrow is my friday...three day weekend coming my way and only 2 more sleeps till the stair climb!! woot!!!

Good day :)

2011-10-11T20:51:00.001+10:30

Such a good day! Had work which all went smoothly. Then tonight I headed off to the gym, my food coach was doing a seminar on "superfoods" i was a lil late for it....but it was so good.....im such a friggin nerd....i can sit there and just listen to all the superfood talk...i find it all fascinating. She discussed lots of stuff...and i am going to try some different things....goji berries....acai berries...fresh beetroot......(which i am going to try roasting this weekend)...all the good nuts...brazil, almonds, walnuts. She also talked about tahini which I have really taken to lately. I even tried a green tea....and i managed to drink it quite easily...not really sure how you make it from tea leaves....but one of the girls at the seminar works at a "tea shop" so might wander down there saturday afternoon and check it out. I tried to get green tea into me early last year but couldnt handle the smell but this was quite light and not a huge strong smell.

Then after the seminar fiona gave me a lil present! Her partner designed some singlets for us for the stair climb. Super cute....theyre navy blue and the design is pink and has a picture of the westpac building and says "westpac stair climb 2011" on it....but also says (i may not have this exact correct as its in the other room and i am being lazy) but something along the lines of "when you get to the top of the mountain keep climbing"....bit like this weight loss journey....even once I get to goal gotta keep going :)

Oh i did weigh in this morning! LOL I lost 2.3 kilos....so after 2 weeks of 2 gains....I am now down to 83.5 kilos...lol....so i guess this weeks goal again is to get down under 83 kilos. My weigh in day has changed too...so monday weigh ins it is. But I am pretty happy I got back down to 83.5 kilos especially considering some of the foods my mum served up to me this weekend (devils food cake anyone? lol)

Anyway i wont see my for another 10 days or so....so 10 days of my controlled eating...then its only one day and then prolly wont see them again till xmas :)

Ok off i go...oh and dont forget...my story is in the Thats Life! magazine that comes out tomorrow!!!!

Summer dresses

2011-10-10T13:54:00.001+10:30

All thru last year one of my goals was to be able to on christmas day be able to wear a simple summer dress. anyway I was over 105 kilos last Christmas so the type of simple summer dress I wanted to wear wouldnt have fit me. Anyway about a month ago I bought a rockmans summer dress....its pretty simple....thin straps...and its kinda a aline....very loose. And while the design is to be loose and free flowing on you it has lining in it which is quite a straight line. When I bought the dress a month ago it was tight and there was no way I would wear it so I shoved it to the back of the wardrobe. Last night I pulled it out and tried it on and it fits me perfectly! Of course that led me too....I need some sandals to wear with it lol and maybe it will be too big by xmas but its the kinda style you can wear very loose...plus I have a few other summer dresses that will fit me by then.:)

So this week I wanted to get under 83 kilos.....this morning i WAS 83 kilos.....so so far I ahve lost 2.8 kilos this week :) Weigh in is tomorrow....hopefully I will get under the 83 kilo mark. But dinner at mums tonight....bbq which is fine but I know she is making "Devils food cake" but at the most I will have one slice of cake....not the end of the world....and last family visit of temptation till xmas time.

Didnt make it to pump this morning...need to get my act together. But will be at the gym tomorrow night....will try and sneak in for part of a "superfood seminar" then will get a workout in. Last day to hit those stairs before the big stair climb.

Time to get back to work....have a good day all :)

Progress Pics

2011-10-09T17:22:00.001+10:30

Catch up.

2011-10-09T12:14:00.000+10:30

I have had that dayam diet coke withdrawal headache since thursday. It finally seems to be starting to going away, it was still there when i woke this morning but in the last hour or so seems to barely be there YAY!!! never never going back to drinking that blasted stuff after this bloody headache lol.

Work has been busy its good being back in my routine, but the shifts ive been on the last week or so have been sucky ones. But i have the next 3 weekends off (yay) and hopefully i can start working on my gym routine....i really need to focus on this. Friday my sister and her family i arrived in adelaide so went to mums for dinner. And ill say what I always say,...too many temptations there! Luckily i go there once or twice then dont usually go for another 3 months or so. When i went there on friday nite it was lasagne, garden salad and oven fries fries for dinner followed by brownies (with icing) for after. I did have a couple of brownies...oops! And mum did serve a HUGE slice of lasagne....but i think i have been eating SO WELL lately it wont really impact. I have to go over there tomorrow night too....its a bbq and ive already checked there will be some chicken for me...but mum then told me she is making chocolate cake too lol....not sure if I will have a slice or not....maybe i will....i did say to her....as ill be arriving a lil late...can yas eat the cake and have it hidden by the time i get there but mum was very non committal over this lol....but again ive knocked about 260 calories per day off my eating this week....if I do have a slice i dont think it will be the end of the world.

The scales have been moving really nicely this week....after 2 weeks of gains (no one to blame but myself!)....on tuesday morning i was 85.8 kilos....this morning i was 83.2 kilos....wooot!!! These changes certainly seem to be making a difference it will be interesting over the next few weeks to see if its just the diet coke thats making the difference or im sitting at a nice calorie range now. The interesting thing is ive settled into a nice routine over the last few days....breakfast has been a grapefruit squeezed into a glass of warm water plus 2 weetbix with milk and a tablespoon of chia seeds....morning snack is a banana with 31 grams of tahini (loving the tahini!)...lunch is a turkey, mayo and salad sandwich....afternoon snack is 12 raw cashews which i have dry roasted....and dinner is about 180-220 grams (raw weight) of meat with vegetables with 30 grams of feta cheese followed by a square of lindts dark chocolate (70% cocoa)....eating that as a standard depending on the meat at dinner is tending to have me eating 1220-1300 calories which seems a nice balance and im not starving....im ready for food at my next meal or snack but not starving....and so while sticking to that i dont really feel i need to count the calories. Im still filling out the food diary tho. The number of nites i was having a yiros per week had crept up too...sometimes to 3-4 times a week...now im sticking to it strictly only saturday night....and i think this saturday night i mite even change that and make pasta carbonara as a bit of a treat :) (a low fatish version of course) i have also been drinking at least 3 litres of water....so all of those changes seem to be impacting the scales! Im really hopeful by tuesday morning i might be under 83 kilos! How nice it would be to see a number of the scales that starts with 82 :)

Gym wise this week ill only be gymming it monday and tuesday until the stairs are over friday afternoon. So planning monday morning to do pump, tuesday morning to do balance and tuesday night ill do my own work out too. Hopefully I will make pump for the friday night class. Friday morning i have a pest company coming out to do a termite inspection of my unit then hopefully they will be done early enough that i can nick into town and buy a new heart rate monitor!!! YAY!!! Cannot wait to have a new one.

If anyone has had IPL on their face....can you let me know if you broke out with a reaction or face went red or anything? I was thinking about doing the first session this saturday but I have plans on Sunday so dont wanna do it this weekend if its likely I will end up looking like a monster lol

Must admit today i was trying on some pants this morning (still a lil tight on the ass unfortunately lol) but anyway i was pretty stunned how slimmer i looked when standing side on (usually the worse view lol) so that is a definite plus! Hopefully another kilo or two and these pants will be able to be worn :)

Not much else to say....have a good sunday all! :)

2011-10-06T19:46:00.001+10:30

Well i have not had a diet coke since tuesday nite! YAY me!! Unfortunately i have a whopper of a headache...and i really dont like taking painkillers so im trying to tuff it out with the headache. Unfortunately I also have a sore shoulder....it was a lot sorer this morning...but still a bit achey/tired feeling. Must have given the arms and shoulders a good workout on tuesday....not really sure what they did that would have made them so achey! lol

Food has been so perfect the last few days....i was down 800 grams on the scales this morning...so heading for a loss this week :) Ive been having tahini instead of peanut butter. Its actually quite tasty! Its not the same as peanut butter...but similar....and i can have double the amount of tahini for the same calories as peanut butter. Im hoping for a super nice loss next week :)

Tomorrow night my sister arrives (well she arrives in the afternoon) so over to mums for dinner....saturday i am working then fionas drinks after work .... sunday i have a WHOLE day off yay lol. Then next week i only work 4 days before the stair climb on friday. I havent been to the gym since tuesday,,,,eek...and wont get there again till tuesday :( its just bad timing with public holidays, family visiting and me having this headache. Next week i might do body pump monday morning, possibly balance tuesday morning and then a workout tuesday nite....then i prolly wont do anything till friday after the stair climb. Then i will kick everything into action. Friday next week i am going to buy a new heart rate monitor....hopefully that will get me focused on these workouts too!

Okay off i go....bit of surfing then i think bed to sleep of this darn headache for me :)

Big day :)

2011-10-04T18:33:00.002+10:30

I left home at 6.20am this morning for body balance but the bloomin bus didnt turn up!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! So went home for a yummy breakfast of banana and peanut butter on toast...yummmm ;) Then went to the gym for PT...I had did some pushups and fiona said i am going lower which was what I thought...I doubt I am going much lower but I can definitely feel a difference! Also did some jogging up the stairs (I seriously dont think I am getting any better at this!) I think I am also going to practice "crouching" i really suck at it...fiona said its cos my muscles are tight so im going to practice that....hopefully it will help!

When I was getting ready for PT....in the bathroom at the gym in my new lil spiffy Lorna Jane Singlet I must admit I liked what I saw. I would have preferred if the top sat further over my tummy....but my shoulders/chest area looked rather good. There really is not a huge amount of fat there anymore....more importantly tho I look fit, like really fit....someone with shape....and I love that! I will never be "skinny" I hope I will end up with a relatively toned body (obviously excess skin will affect that). I dont even really desire to be skinny (in fact I am not even a huge fan of that word) I would certainly like to end up "slim" with toned muscle.

Thats Life has just called me....the story goes to the printers tonight! Woot! So is definitely going to be out in the edition October 12, apparantly they are using 5 of my past photos and one from the photoshoot the other day....hopefully the photo from the photoshoot looks good and I dont look at it and go "ugh" lol being the self critical person that I am ;) They are going to call me shortly to read the story to me :)

I think I am going to start to wear my Lorna Jane flashpants for working out. I quite like how they look with these new singlets....and they have enough room in them now that I think I can workout with out them being a drama....will be good too as i can wear them during the day at work then dont have to muck around with changing....ill test them out tomorrow night...I will have to wear my special "wicking" knickers.....but hopefully i can wear them with no dramas.

My sister is down this weekend she arrives friday. So dinner at mums friday night....mum is making lasagne....which is fine....last time she made lasagne tho she cooked up oven fries, so i will make a lil garden salad and take that to have with it. I wont see them then on the weekend as I am working saturday and they have a wedding and engagement party to attend, monday night I will tho and mum is planning a bbq....so hopefully they will have some chicken and I will again take a green salad.

Thats Life! did ring me, so I have heard the story....now just to wait to see what the pics they used look like. Then went to the gym and spoke to the Manager, we are not doing anything about it till after the Thats Life story comes out, late next week or early the week after they will take some pics and I need to write a bit of a testimonial up, they have one that I previously wrote but I need to expand it out a bit :)

I then saw my food coach, firstly I will still count calories. She wants me to give up or cut back on the diet coke (no surprise there!) so I am having my final one right now and will go cold turkey....sigh....lol! Some of the suggestions were having tahini instead of peanut butter, one of my snacks being 6-8 raw cashes which I dry roast myself (roasting as we speak!), one square of Lindts dark chocolate per nite...whole egg mayonaise instead of the fat free stuff....and funnily tomorrows calories only come in at 1225 calories. woot!!!

Anyway thats enough of my day.....more important things going on....lol....The Big Bang Theory is waiting for me!!!

Change

2011-10-03T18:23:00.000+10:30

Gonna be a weird week. A week of change. Fionas last week this week....and tomorrows my only session this week :( In reality I have not been thinking about the change with Fiona leaving...but its really here now. My big focus over the next few weeks needs to be on maintaining my routine as much as I can. So tomorrow morning body balance and PT. Wednesday Sh'Bam and Thursday night Body Balance. Whilst they arent big cardio classes....i will still be maintaining some routine. The week after should be better. Friday my sister comes into town so no gym that night as I will be visiting her and her family and same monday night. But next week as I am starting at 9.30am I am going to do a couple of morning classes. Tomorrow afternoon I have a appointment with the gym manager and then I will be seeing the food coach...so more of a idea about whats happening with my nutrition side of things. So numerous changes....obviously I wasnt going to do 3 PT sessions for forever but I am trying to stay positive about it all and not lose the plot lol

Food wise I was good today...when I jumped on the scales last night after my disastrous eating the previous couple of days I thought I doubt I will be under 88 kilos (eek!) but miracuously I was 86.5 kilos this morning....still up 2.7 kilos but not as bad as it could be. My eating has been good today too. So yanno just gotta keep on trucking on....I am trying to stick to 1400 calories....so far so good. Will be interesting what the food coach thinks when she sees my food diary (cos I seriously dont think I actually eat a lot!) Next week I am buying a new HRM I am getting polars RS300X its one that you can add the arm gps unit to or the shoe pod so if I do get really into running....I can measure distance etc.

Spoke to Jo who was the girl I was dating earlier in the year over the weekend. Hadnt actually spoken to her since my 5 year dinner. So have made some plans to go to the grrls feast thats on on October 20. All platonic....we are not suited on a romantic level but it will hopefully be fun to get out and have a dance. Gotta get out there if I ever have any hope of meeting someone (not that I am specifically looking tho)

Oh and here is a pic of me in my new singlets I bought from Lorna Jane on the weekend :)

Motivation

2011-10-03T13:38:00.002+10:30

I wanted to post about motivation. Looking at the ww forum today lots of people have posted they have lost their motivation, so wanted to post my thoughts on the topic.

We all know the saying "motivation is fleeting" ... its a emotion .... just like we get happy/sad etc it wont always be there....but it will be there at times. In the beginning we are usually motivated....then it becomes the way it is and as you start to lose weight for a lot of people fears set in. These come in a whole range of things....fear of excess skin.....fear of failing...fear of succeeding....fear of not knowing the person you are becoming....fear of losing your comfort zone. I certainly had my fears. When people first started to call me a "inspiration" it did my head in ..... i knew that by people saying that....if i accepted that and then ended up putting weight on i would look like a fool/failure. I remember talking to Fiona at the time about it and she gave some really good advice.... "put a bubble around you and let what people say good and bad bounce off you". So dont take in other peoples perceptions/thoughts. With everything thats happening with the magazines, the book etc it could really do my head in. I mean if this all happens and then I gain the weight back....i would be "the girl who got in the magazine and look how fat she is now" if i really sat down and gave this lot of thought I could do my head in. But i am "choosing" to take whats happening ONLY as a good thing....and its the same when people place compliments on you that may scare you, when you realise you have some excess skin or when you fear losing your comfort zone....focus ONLY on the good stuff...because the reality is....the bad stuff is in our minds....its not something thats happening right in the moment....its something we are worried about happening. So stay positive....enjoy the journey and dont be hard on yourself....dont look at how far you have to go....but how far you have become!

Sometimes too we become bored....we are eating the same food all the time (I am so guilty of this!)...we get bored with our exercise routine....we get bored with our life. We are building a new life.....so if its that everything is becoming ho-hum....that you have lost 10-11 kilos and you cant notice the loss...do something you wouldnt have done before! This can be a whole range of things....from shopping....booking a nite away or even a nite in your city in a nice hotel....check out fitness events and plan to enter one....if small enough go horse riding....or jump on a trampoline (i am hoping to do this at my sisters at xmas now im smaller!) go buy a new outfit....give yourself a home beauty treatment...there is so many things we can do....but I think if its something we couldnt do before and its something you prove you can do now...you will realise "i can do this". Try some new recipes as well....no wonder our motivation lacks when we eat the same thing day in and day out!

Set goals....every time I set a goal I feel more focussed and motivated. The goal can be short or long term....a certain number on the scale by the end of the month....to do 4 fitness classes thruout the month (if fitness classes are new to you) .... do a new class ..... pick a exercise that you want to do perfectly and use it as a goal for something you are working too (my exercise goal at the moment is to be able to do pushups going low with perfect form...admittedly I have been working on them a long time...but i will get there - i hope lol!) Look at doing something "different" .... my gym has personal training, group personal training, a running group, boot camp at certain times of the year and different challenges thruout the year. I of course have done a lot of personal training ;) they are having a boot camp mid november....so i am going to do that this year. I have never done one....so it will be very challenging for me....but im hopeful it will help keep my focus up until xmas.

I never usually use the word "motivation" a lot....I prefer "focus".... we dont always have to feel good about it....but if we try and keep our focus on the goals day in and day out then we will get there regardless of any emotional feelings. Of course we are not perfect....and the chance you will have 100% focus for the entire time of your journey is not likely....dont expect to be perfect....nor desire to be perfect....your only setting yourself up for heartache. Accept you arent perfect....accept you will stuff up....accept you wont be the best in all exercising you do (we all have our talents and weakness's whether we are a size 10 or not!) but if you do stuff up....or you do fall....just get back on to things as quickly as is feasible!

2011-10-02T18:15:00.000+10:30

Today was a much better day foodwise! Not perfect but much better and under 1400 calories. I jumped on the scales tonite....eek!!! My body gains like its nobodys business altho i realise most is prolly sodium gain. I am really going to focus on getting under 83 kilos by the end of the month....in reality I prolly wont reach it but I wanna be really focused and have that as my goal. Ive been keeping a food diary this week....interesting when I view my over several days side by side....I really eat a lot of the same foods! Not much variety at all. And to be honest it doesnt feel like I eat a lot....so ill be interesting to see what the food coach says on tuesday. Maybe this lil splurge will ultimately do me good as it will get me refocussed I suspect. Ive decided for the moment not to cycle the calories. I have dropped them down to 1400 calories....but being on such a smaller amount of calories if I was to calorie cycle I would prolly have to have 2-3 calories at only 1200 and with my exercise I feel thats too lil.

Its amazing to think how easy I can fall into my old habits....5 years and I still can revert back to my old patterns without even thinking about it. I did initially think when I got to goal I wouldnt do weigh ins anymore....but i think even when at goal maybe for a year or so (maybe longer!) ill need to weigh in at least monthly. Just so damn scary how easily I fall back into the patterns....but I guess 5 years of this healthy lifestyle doesnt compare to 25 years or so of my old ways.

Tomorrow I am sleeping in YAY!!! Cannot wait. Tuesday altho its a day off I am planning to be up at 6am to do body balance before PT (my last session with Fiona before she finishes up at the gym!) and tuesday afternoon I have a appointment to chat to the manager at the gym and then my food coach....cannot remember if I mentioned it or not but I had a call on friday saying they want to get my story in the gyms (Fernwoods) magazine....so thats what I am seeing the manager about. I am guessing on tuesday Thats Life will call me too, to read the story they wrote. Will be interesting to hear.

Ive been watching Lip Service (UK Lesbian "soap/drama" series)....its been sooooooooooooo good.....only 6 episodes in the first episode...Ive watched the first 5....just downloading number 6....cannot wait to watch it....its been beyond good!!! Then once I watch that I am gonna watch episode 2 of series 12 of US biggest loser :) So a nice relaxing evening!

I think I better get some exercise in tomorrow....not sure what....prolly a walk not much I can do without the gym (ok thats prolly a excuse...but yeh lol) I am so much better with structured exercise!

2011-10-01T19:42:00.002+09:30

DISASTROUS eating day...."not counting calories" got into my head too much....plus the fact they had pies, sausage rolls, chips, lollies donuts out at work didnt help!! But have decided tomorrow going to go back to 1400 calories. Tuesday when I see my new food coach i am going to listen to what she says...so far she has said 3 things....have freshly squeezed grapefruit in a glass of water each morning...tick I have been doing that! Eat brocollini 3 times a week....i bought it but havent eaten it yet! LOL Tomorrow nite scotch fillet with brocolini and asparagus for dinner. The third thing has been a tablespoon of chia seeds at breakfast...been doing this too. So I am going to keep counting calories...listen to what the food coach says and incorporate it in my current eating plan.

Things are just changing at the moment....Fiona is leaving the gym...which means on the exercise front things are different....hopefully I will do a bootcamp with the gym in mid november. Plus in my mind my nutrition is over the place at the moment...plus the scales havent moved for several months. Where as I had a very structured plan...that plan isnt quite what it once was....change doesnt have to be negative but I have to get my head around it....and I dont think I can suddenly get around it....its going to be seeing how things work over the next month or so and things will hopefully go to plan and I will simply settle into a new routine and be productive in moving closer towards my goals.

In line with that I need to be very focussed not only on my nutrition but committing to the gym and attending. This week is a hard week cos of my work hours and because the gym is close on monday....so my plan is:

m - gym closed
t - body balance + 1 hour PT + jog up 21 flights of stairs
w - sh'bam + jog up 21 flights of stairs
t - body balance + jog up 21 flights of stairs
f - maybe run 1.5km...jog up 21 flights of stairs + 20 mins intervals on the cross trainer or kettle bell routine I did with fiona a few weeks ago.

The 3 days I am attending the gym I will jog up 21 flights of stairs too. I need to work out what to do at the gym on the days i cant make a class. Especially as the 3 classes I can make this week...while I love body balance and love to do it at least once a week....they arent cardio and there is no resistance work in there. I realise its only one week out of 5 and this time its a bit different cos of the public holiday. Normally i would be able to do body jam and possibly boxing on the monday night....and wednesday could do boxing and freestyle cycle,,,,,but with the way they did my roster this week its a bit different.

Anyway thats enuff....enjoy ur weekend all :)

More good news!! :)

2011-09-30T20:42:00.002+09:30

Well today started off crappy...got caught in the rain then my breakfast drink i made too thick and was completely undrinkable :( Work was having a "footy day" today...meat pie and 2 small cinnamon donuts for lunch....ooops! I will be glad to see my food coach on tuesday and get some direction in where im going with this whole nutrition stuff. After work I went to the gym and did body pump. I havent done pump for ages, I really have to get my act together and aim to do pump at least once a week...all those squats and lunges were a killer...Of course all my weights I was doing were pathetic too cos it was so long....lol....after class 2 other clients came up to me and commented how everytime they see me my body shape is changing :) and then the instructor even commented I had lost more weight...unfortunately I had to tell her no I havent....but obviously even tho the scales havent moved much lately the shape is changing....which funnily enough when i was getting ready for the class tonite when I looked in the mirror i actually thought I looked okay...admittedly i was wearing a black t shirt and black full length leggings which of course have that visual effect of slimming.

I then went to Lorna Janes tonight.....love, love, love that store! I walked in told them I want some tight fitting tops that are not low cut and dont show off the boobage when I am in a pushup position they selected a pile of tops....and I found some stretchy singlets with a real cute back....liked them so much I bought them in 3 colours! (pink, grey and yellow) Im gonna go back next week and get a purple one too....so cute....AND when she was selecting the tops the girl is like....a large would be too big for you hehehe :) So size mediums it was for me...I would have liked them slightly longer to cover more of my tummy but so be it. The problem has been that i rarely wear fitted tops to the gym, they are mostly loose fitting and fall off my shoulders....when i go in a plank position or lay over a fit ball i am fart assing around adjusting them wasting time....so that problem will mostly be erradicated (altho im sure i will be pulling them down over the tummy! lol) I tell you the money that Thats Life! magazine will pay me im tempted to go on the hugest spending spree at Lorna Janes with! LOL

Today I also got a phone call that Fernwood wants to put my story in their magazine which goes to all clubs (ive been in my clubs email newsletter but this is the actual magazine) I am on a media gag till the Thats Life! magazine comes out on 12th October....so the manager of the gym wants to talk to me next week about it....so I will tell her I am happy to do it....but cannot doing any of it till after then :) Exciting stuff!!! Seriously who woulda thought when I stepped on those scales at that weight watchers meeting when i was 170.9 kilos....that all this good stuff would be a result of my hard work !!!! :)

Busy, busy days :)

2011-09-29T16:18:00.001+09:30

Gawd what a freaking day! Busy, busy at work!! Got home at 4pm....Thats Life rang me to interview me for the story....so much thinking! They asked lots of questions on what my thoughts/feelings were at different stages of the last 5 years and I really had to think about it all! They are writing the story tomorrow then will call me to read the story over the phone. The photo session is tomorrow. So after the interview had to do a quick whip around the house to tidy up...then went and bought a yiros for dinner....put a colour thru my hair...mopped the floors...made my green drink so its ready for tomorrow morning (strawberries, banana and rocket for me tomorrow morning!) then going thru my wardrobe working out what clothes to wear. They are taking the photos with me in two sets of clothes...one is jeans and a colourful top...the other is a dress....A girl is coming at 9am tomorrow to do make up and my hair and then the photographer will be here by 9.30am. I have told them I need to be leaving for the gym by midday so fingers crossed they dont run late. I am keen to see what they do with my hair....maybe I will have nice straightened hair for a few days lol

So i didnt gym it tonight....i just didnt have time with getting organised for this....i may actually go to PT tomorrow for a bloomin rest!! lol

**********************************************************

Today was the photoshoot. I coloured my hair last nite so it was a darker colour altho I have noticed you can still see some of the blonde at the back lol.....in a month or so I will go get a chocolate brown put thru as a permanant colour. They curled it using a straightener and then made me up (lil bit too much lipstick for my liking!!) Then was a couple of hours of freezing in the cold (wearing summer dresses on a windy day is not fun!) It was a lot of "look out towards the street...look at me....smile....dont smile nervous.." lol Anyway hopefully they got some nice shots for the magazine....no doubt knowing me i wont be happy with them lol...i know what im like....and no matter what pic i take im never truly happy.

Today was a double session of PT ..... lots of ab stuff and ball work .... my favourite *insert sarcastic tone!*

I have been thinking lots about the direction to take getting to goal. After my session with my new food coach on tuesday where she did comment "i dont do this by calories" i have decided to take the approach of "eating for health" not "eating for weight loss" as i said recently i am going to put complete trust in her and see what happens....bottom line the scales arent moving heaps at the moment ..... and if this doesnt work i can always go back to counting calories. I went and bought Chia Seeds today for my breakfast drink...OMG they are expensive....$18.99 for 500 grams....ill be having a tablespoon each morning so not sure how long they will last for! I am worried by changing my thinking to "eating for health" i will somehow give up....but im hoping im at a point where I am strong enough to keep going. So much changing at the moment, and where as I have had a very set routine with lots of support....now its all changing a lil so am worried a lil about what will happen in the future. I am positive I will do the gyms bootcamp which will hopefully help (it starts mid november)

Tomorrow night I am going to do body pump after work then go to Lorna Jane....and just maybe spend some cash!

New food coach :)

2011-09-27T20:30:00.002+09:30

I forgot to mention this yesterday. Thats Life! Magazine contacted me yesterday to organise a photo session for the story in their magazine! Its happening on thursday morning! OMG!!! A hair and make up person is coming around at 9am and the photographer at 9.30am....they are going to do a indoor and outdoor shot apparantly....so very exciting....hopefully tomorrow I will remember to ask them which edition I am going to be in lol Just gotta work out what to wear now :)

Work was good today. Im liking being back into my routine and the swing of things....but I have been on 7am starts this week....one more 7am start then I have thursday off....yay dont have to wake before 8am.

I went to the gym tonight....did a fitball class......I discoverred when i am laying on the fitball my head and arms hanging over....the skin on my arms looks atrocious!!! Of course gravity is taking a hold but obviously also is loose skin! blah!

On to good news tho....had my first session with my new food coach today and omgggggggggggggggggggg SO FREAKING GLAD i will be seeing her from now on! One of the first things she asked was .... "was i always big" ..... which of course led me to saying no..that i put on weight as i hit puberty and I have PCOS....which led to me telling her also about my low iron stores....well she is not only a nutritionist she is also a naturopath.....I could just tell she is very educated on PCOS and she told me she has done a lot of work on hormones.....so already after one session and without even seeing my food diary she has made suggestions. So each morning she wants me to squeeze the juice of one grapefruit into warm water....this will apparantly help increase my metabolic rate. My green drink which I have been having (and was soooooooo yummy today....strawberries, bananas and baby spinach) she wants me to add a tablespoon of chia too, to help increase my protein (which she said will not only help my iron stores but help the PCOS too!). She also wants me to start eating brocolini 3 times a week. She has recommended i try it by cooking it and asparagus in a pan with olive oil and sea salt and pepper....hopefully i will like that. Cauliflower is from the same family but the brocolini has more impact. And apparantly really helps with balancing out the hormones. I also told her, whilst one of my snacks i have a banana and natural peanut butter....my other snack per day is usually a wagon wheel (lol!) mostly cos i dont wanna eat more fruit or yoghurt.....so she is going to bring in recipes from some snack suggestions next week :) Who wants to bet how many sessions before she is telling me to cut out the diet coke? lol

Ive never had a first session with a food coach before and felt it has gone so good. I am going to pretty much do what I did when I started training with Fiona. When it comes to nutrition I will put complete faith and trust in her (cos it appears she knows what she is talking about!)....if she suggests something I will try it....I of course will still count calories....but anything else she suggests I will do....even if it means giving up the diet coke...this feels like such a good thing for me. Ive chatted with Fiona a lot about "superfoods" for close to a year, and always planned once at goal to incorporate more "superfoods" into my diet....and I am excited that nutrition wise this is someone who appears she will understand my body and all the craziness it does!

2011-09-26T21:00:00.001+09:30

Big day today. Up at 5.30am and at work by 7am *yawn* I then went to the gym, jogged up the 21 flights of stairs...I swear to gawd I thought I was going to have a freaking heart attack! lol I then did a 30 minute boxing class...man these are hard....every class nearly the trainer has us overload our arms...one at a time....and then after we have done a million types of punches with one arm....then makes us do pushups lawdie lawdie....people need to realise i am a weakling!! lol I then had a 15 minute rest and then did a 45 minute body combat class. I didnt even realise how much I missed that class...hadnt done it for about 8 weeks but was really good to get back to it. I then did a 30 minute PT session of core work (my poor abs!) I was a very tired gal by then end of it all lol not surprisingly.

The manager of the gym came up and was talking to me tonight....and told me there is a boot camp starting the 2nd week in november....so i think i may bite the bullet and give that a try. She also talked to me about group personal training and about trialling a new trainer when she hires some new people....but for me I will do the boot camp....which finishes the week before Christmas. Lets hope I can hack bootcamp lol I am always suspicious of my abilities...plus its OUTDOOR....im a bit girlie and a bit pathetic when it comes to the gym....lol....and dont like getting messy or hurting myself LOL....so bootcamp would be interesting!

Ive been having a problem with my ear of late. Ever since last October when I had that bad ear infection I have intermittently had vertigo at night when I roll over in bed. Anyway friday my left ear blocked up and was blocked up for 4-5 hours....same thing happened today and lasted for about the same amount of time. So thursday morning I am off to the docs to get it checked out....working in a call centre it really sucks when your ear blocks!

Green Drink :)

2011-09-25T12:00:00.001+09:30

The scales did a decent drop today...thank gawd!!! Down 600 grams so i am more then happy with that. Altho that said I am still 200 grams up from what I was on tuesday....and 1.5 kilos up on what I was at the previous weigh in. But I feel good, content with the fact its starting to move in the right direction again.

I have been wanting since the beginning of the year start to have a "green drink" for breakfast....its basically a drink made up in the blender with fruit and greens (like spinach). I had my first one today....one small banana, a cup of blueberries and 4 big leaves of spinach. Tomorrow I am going to use 2 bananas and increase the spinach a lil more. It really does taste nice and VERY filling. For being someone who struggles to get the "greens" in this is a perfect way for me. And its portable so I can drink it on my way to work or at work. So I feel very clean today! lol Jackie Warner even recommends adding chocolate protein powder to them with peanut butter.....oooooooooooooooooooo......lol ;)

So far today I have been a busy beaver being a domestic goddess. Kitchen floors washed, vaccuuming done, second load of laundry done. Some more washing to do and I need to dust in the lounge room and then I think we can declare the house clean lol and that I get a rest :)

Wasnt thinking about goals last nite....but did come to some conclusions about them. I cant believe we are nearly into October....before we know it it will be the new year. It would be really nice to be a 70's girl by the new year. Hopefully next year I can try and do a fun run and ACTUALLY run in it. I am looking to buy a new heart rate monitor....the one I think I will get does time laps as well as calorie burns etc and you can also buy a gps unit thing you wear on your arm so it uses google earth to measure the distance you run. I wont need to GPS unit just yet but once i start to really do some running stuff it would come in handy. One of my current goals is to be able to do pushups on my toes....proper pushups going low with perfect form. I am a long way off being able to do them like that but I am slowly getting there. Once i finally master them lol I want to be able to master some other things like more intense pushups like one legged...with my feet on a step etc....and then move on to burpees.....and build some strength....i would eventually like to be able to go back and do crossfit at the gym, in a manner where I feel challenged but not out of my depth. This is prolly a 2 year goal....I cannot see me being ready in the next 12 months but it is something to work towards. But I always knew once I got to my goal weight I would need some kind of new goal to keep me attending the gym....so I am glad I have got that thought in my brain now.

Tomorrow night I have PT, boxing and presuming I am not too tired Body Combat. I havent done combat for at least 2 months and the monday night Combat class is one of my fave classes...so hopefully I am right to stay for that class too....be interesting to see how bad I am at the class after not doing it for so long (fingers crossed I dont fall over in it ugh! lol)

Anyway the machine has stopped ... time to go hang out the washing and get some lunch organised.

Things are better!

2011-09-24T13:51:00.000+09:30

I feel better about things today. I weighed this morning 85.9 kilos so thats a starting point. I have decided to keep my food coach sessions at weekly sessions at this stage but i am going to change food coachs. There is a new food coach at the gym (i havent met her yet) but she is into superfoods which is the way my eating has been heading....so i changed my appointment so it was with her...so will see her 6.15pm on tuesday nite...which is actually a better night for me. I think I will ask her do the measurements the first week of each month and maybe she can even make some suggestions as I now get closer to goal in relation to my nutrition. I did also think maybe these gains have kinda been my fault....i remember last week i had a few peanut butter sandwiches i shouldnt have and a few dips into the peanut butter jar when i shouldnt have....which I hadnt thought about....plus pizza and a crunchie bar yesterday didnt help! So im not gonna cut the calories back yet....will give it a week or two at the same level....if things then dont move ill start to cut back a lil.

Body balance was cancelled today and they had pilates on instead. I didnt do it cos i actually find pilates the most boring class in existance lol. So i did my PT session which was more resistance work towards working on pushups...i was really quite pathetic in the session lol so much i couldnt do...but the good thing is most of the stuff is stuff i could do on my own....so i might try and do the exercises a few times per week. I then did the stairs TWICE yes im suppose to be doing it 3 times....but i couldnt lol i was dead....i have been slack about the stairs this week....so I did it twice today....ill do it three times on monday....man even doing it just twice is a killer.

Tomorrow I am planning to clean the house and I think I will make some of my cranberry and oat muffins....a nice healthy treat. I also went to the fruit and veg store today and stocked up. Bought some spinach as well and tomorrow i am going to try my first "green drink" for breakfast. Hopefully with luck I will like it and it will fill me up!

Just bloomin checked the laundry...i put my black flashdance pants in the machine with a tissue....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bits of white tissue everywhere :(

Just a few changes.....

2011-09-23T20:27:00.000+09:30

Well the scales were up this morning again by 200 grams and looking at the scales tonite I expect them to be around the same or slightly higher tomorrow morning .... sigh. That said today food wasnt perfect. They provided pizza for lunch today and I had some and then when I saw the scales tonight....I must admit I thought stuff it....if Im gonna gain might as well enjoy it so had a yiros and a crunchie bar for dinner. I was probably over my calories by 600 calories. But after a chat with Fiona tonight Ive decided to change my exercise a lil and decided also I am going to cut my calories back.

Something I havent mentioned....(altho did few days ago on facebook) is fiona is leaving the gym in a few weeks time so my journey is going to change a lil in the way I approach it. I have known about her leaving for several weeks....but I am the type of person who needs to process things and needed to work things out in my head before putting them down for the world to see ;) In the beginning of my journey I definitely needed a very personal approach....i really needed that constant contact with fiona to keep me on track and keep my head in the right place....the timing of this closer to goal....is actually okay....12 months ago I dont know how I would have handled this change ..... but yanno we all have to be responsible for our own journey and I guess that is what I will be doing taking more responsibility for my journey. Of course fiona has become a friend over the last 3 years, we already speak quite regularly over facebook and I cant see that changing and I am sure we will still catch up occassionally socially. Anyway it will enable me the opportunity of maybe doing the gyms next bootcamp...maybe in time (when my foot/knees are up to it) doing one of the gyms running group....and possibly even doing michelle bridges 12WBT program (I wouldnt do her eating plan just the workout plan).

So with that said....initially before I found out about fiona leaving i was going to talk to my food coach about cutting back to just one session every 2 weeks....then when i found out about fiona leaving i thought i need that weekly appointment to ensure i go to the gym at least one day a week (lol) but after much thought I have decided I am going to talk to her about just having a appointment once a month. I just dont feel I need the accountability and to be honest the scales are moving so slowly it does my head in! So I want to suggest to her that I weigh in just the first week of each month andd have measurements done then too (she has only measured me 2 times since i have had her as a food coach) I just dont feel I get enough out of the sessions. (Mostly because I am educated on nutrition I dont really get info or anything of my food coach it is essentially just a weigh on and she really just lets me do my own thing.

I am going to weigh in tomorrow morning....as a "official" number and then of course i will still weigh in regularly but my next "official" weigh in will be October 29. I am not going to set a goal for a number on the scales to be by then. Its 3 weeks today till the westpac stair climb....fiona now wants me running up the stair case at the gym (7 flights) 3 times in a row everytime I go to the gym. My goal for the month is simply going to be to try and do the stair climb in under 20 minutes....so for the next 3 weeks thats going to be my big focus. The other goal I am going to aim for is I bought a summer dress a week or two ago....its a size "small" I can get it on but around my stomach/hips/thighs it is skin tight....so my goal is going to be on xmas day (hopefully I will be at streaky bay on the day) to wear that dress and it fit me nicely....regardless what weight. Cos while the scales have been going up this last week or so (was 85.2 kilos this morning) my Lorna Jane Flashdance pants are getting looser around the hips and stomach (loose enough that I think I could actually work out in them)

Calorie wise I am going to drop the calories down to 1400 calories.....which is a drop of 85 calories per day so only a small drop but hopefully enough of a drop...I really dont want to go as low as 1200 calories....and suspect 1350 is prolly the absolute lowest I could go down too.

So I did talk to fiona about increasing my days at the gym....and as I am doing 4 days a week I will start to do 5 days a week....and down the track a lil bit maybe increase to 6 days a week. So with that I think each week I will set a exercise plan for the week. So this coming week it is:

m -3 x 7 flights of stairs + 1.5km run + body combat + PT
t - 3 x 7 flights of stairs + swiss ball class + body step
w - 3 x 7 flights of stairs + 1.5km run +30 mins boxing + cycle class
t - 3 x 7 flights of stairs + body pump + PT + body balance
f - 3 x 7 flights of stairs + 1.5km run + body pump

Heres to a better week!

Hating the scales

2011-09-22T20:01:00.000+09:30

Im really starting to get majorly annoyed with the scales. And i know people say dont pay attention etc to them but im afraid when i know i have to weigh in on a weekly basis if im not losing...and i am exercising and eating well it annoys the crap out of me. Saturday morning i was 83.8 kilos....this morning i was 85 kilos and looking at the scales now i suspect i will actually have another gain in the morning. I have been losing then gaining then losing then gaining all week....i know logically in my brain i know to gain two kilos i would have had to eat a additional 14,000 calories....i know i am eating under my BMR....im exercising....and yet the scales are up. Yep my cycle was this week....but i should have started to go down by now and it really makes me doubt whether i can get any lower. My only other option is to either cut my calories back more (sigh) or exercise more....im exercising 4 days a week but maybe its time to increase the workouts to 6 times a week. It seriously sucks that you can do everything right and then be gaining....the last 5 weeks has been gain, lose, gain, lose, gain....im a lil over it ALL to be honest. That combined with other people thinking im too skinny now, or jealous of my weight loss or projecting their own issues on to me....just over it....ive started to feel like...i need to hide my loss....i dont even want people discussing it anymore cos i am getting concerned over whose the next person to get offended by my loss....anyway thats my gripe of the day.

Tomorrow is friday....im planning to do pump tomorrow nite...pump bores me lately but i think i just need to make the effort...and do it and work on increasing those weights regardless whether it bores me or not. Ill do the running sprints again too, and of course saturday I have PT and body balance.

Nothing else of excitement going on...enjoy your nite all!

Oh no....

2011-09-22T11:58:00.001+09:30

My internet connection at home is dead :( apparantly a tech will come out tomorrow and it should be working again by 7pm tomorrow nite...so fingers crossed!

Last night I did a 30 minute boxing class. Normally I can be at times a bit of a slacker in classes and when it comes to pushups in the boxing class i do them on my knees...but i did them all on my toes last nite...not going low at all....but still did it (about 25-35 all up i think) i then went on the treadmill and did some sprints....I managed one 100 metre sprint at level 10 and one 150 metre sprint at level 10. Woooo hoooo!! Thats huge for me. I then went and did a 45 minute freestyle cycle class....which was a killer. Tonight I wont gym it but will do pump tomorrow night, altho as I have a PT session of weights on saturday I will go light in pump.

Ive noticed the "wrinkling" of my upper inner thighs has now started to spread and is edging towards my knees :( sad sad!! I really hope the skin on my legs doesnt get too much worse. At the gym last night I did tell the Group Fitness Manager that I think they need a different resistance class besides pump...so never know the gym may bring in what i want lol!!

Not much else going on....im still up 1.4 kilos from my lightest :( bloomin scales!!!

my brain may explode....

2011-09-20T20:05:00.002+09:30

The scales had dropped by 400 grams this morning. So starting to lose the fluid gain...but still up 1.1 kilos to what I was a week ago.

Day 2 back at work and OMG my brain may explode!! lol!!! There is lots of new processes and I am try to take it all in but omg fulllllllllllllll on! I slept like a baby last nite...in bed at 9.30pm. Sleeping is much better then it was on any night of my holidays!! The long days and mental aspect of working is draining lol but i do love how i have got that real tired feeling back where i just wanna curl up in bed at a decent hour and not staying up until all hours. :)

I forgot to mention yesterday that Fiona was telling me about a new staff member at the gym who is all into superfoods (superfoods is a huge topic of conversation between me and fiona lol) i LOVE learning all about it...anyway this girl also teach organic cooking classes and is doing a presentation at the gym in a few weeks...so will be making a special effort to attend that :)

Tomorrow night I am gymming it...hopefully I make it in time for the 4.30pm boxing class...then will run on the treadmill for my 1.5km have a 10 minute rest and then do a 45 minute cycling class. That should easily burn 500 calories. (prolly much more!). Takes a bit to adjust to 13 hour days (work + travel to the gym and then working out) but I really do like the "busy" feeling!

Ive decided I am going to Sydney next April. I put in for the leave today asked for 25th april thru to 2nd may. I will be there for 4 nights. So soon as work approves the leave (am pretty sure it will all be approved) I will book the flights. I would prolly fly in on a thursday morning and fly out on the monday, There is a fitness expo which I would be going too...I would also try to get out to Dads grave to visit it, with luck I might even be able to track down my sister Tanyas grave too (thats a bit trickier as its a topic mum wont discuss....but I am pretty sure she is at the same cementry as Dad)...and there is also a "skywalk" at the top of the sydney tower so might do that. Plus maybe try and catch up with some Sydney Siders.

I am starting to suspect it might be christmas day at home alone for me again this year! Im not too fussed, My mum and her hubby are going to my sisters....and i dont know how well I would handle being under the same roof as them so if i do go it would only be for a couple of days. But my understanding is work isnt approving a lot of leave at xmas time this year....so am waiting at the moment, the bonus is if i dont go i probably wouldnt put weight on over xmas! lol (gotta look at the bright side right? lol)

Not much else going on....do need a early night....enjoy all!!!